Notes: Please take your time reading this chapter, and reread it if you have to. Understand that I've been going over these events in my head continuously for months. This is the way I intended for things to happen. If they upset you that much, feel free to stop reading, I'll understand. But if it leaves you wondering just where I'm going with all this…stick around.
Tweaking godboy powers yet again. I mean, they ARE godboys; it's too much fun not to.
Anyone who never figured out the dream with the hunters and birds? Should make a lot more sense after reading this…
Change
Chapter 7
Kizna had no idea how long she'd just been sitting there, staring at the door. The last thing she could remember was Zero coming in, apparently to tell her something. But he had been dressed for battle, and now that she looked down, Kizna was also wearing a similar white outfit. He must've gone without her…
Muttering curses all the way, Kizna darted from her room and headed for the docking bay. This was the first time that stupid…thing in her head had interfered with her job performance. Even if Zero did forgive her, she imagined the others wouldn't. Especially if Zero had been hurt, or worse…
Fear welled up in Kizna's heart as she reached the docking bay. The Ingrids were just arriving from the mission…but there were only four. Ernn Laties was mysteriously missing, and, more than likely, so was Zero.
That was before she risked a glance a Reneighd Klein, and gasped as she saw a body lying far too still in the Ingrid's hand.
"ZERO!" Kizna shrieked, moving with a speed she hadn't known she possessed. She practically flew up the ramp and all but dove into Reneighd Klein's hand, carefully moving Zero to a sitting position. "Zero," she whispered brokenly, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You have to wake up, Zero, you just have to!" She buried her face in his hair and held him close, rocking back and forth. "Please wake up, Zero, please, please, please wake up…"
But Zero did not wake up, nor did he look even remotely alive. His skin was far too pale, and Kizna realized after a few seconds that he wasn't as heavy as he should've been. It was almost as if a part of him was missing.
"Kizna," Erts said gently at her ear. "You have to let go."
"WHAT?!" she snapped, whirling on him.
Erts backed up a step. "You have to let Zero go. He needs medical attention. Now."
"…oh." Feeling rather foolish, Kizna helped Erts carefully pull Zero to his feet.
They hadn't gotten far when Roose & Wrecka intercepted them.
"We'll take him, Erts," Roose offered. "You should really get some rest."
Kizna took another look at Erts, and noticed that he did indeed look very tired. She hadn't seen it before, being so worried about Zero.
Even after they had carried Zero away, Kizna couldn't help wishing she'd gone with them. But Erts had insisted she'd only be in the way of the doctors, and that the best thing she could do was explain to Leena why she hadn't been available for the battle. By the look on his face when he said it, Kizna could tell that Zero hadn't told him about her true condition, and felt another sharp pang of guilt at how devoted to her Zero really was.
For some reason, though, neither Erts nor Kizna did as other suggested to them. Instead, they both sat down and talked quietly. Kizna kept blaming herself for what happened to Zero, and Erts kept insisting that Zero would never blame her for his getting hurt.
Strangely, it was Kizna who first noticed that the only Repairer who had not appeared to meet her Pilot was Kazuhi. She mentioned this to Erts, who froze as he noticed something over Kizna's right shoulder. Kizna turned and froze as well.
Kazuhi had finally entered the docking bay. However, she was wearing a kimono of the darkest black and moving with noticeably slow, steady steps. She gradually made her way to Tellia Kallisto, but instead of stopping at the console, she moved directly to the cockpit, and with only a second's hesitation, plunged her arms into the still blackness, followed by her head.
Erts knew at once that something was wrong. Had Yu been injured in battle? Why hadn't he said anything? Perhaps he'd know everyone would be too concerned about Zero, and so had kept news of his own wounds to himself. Yu had never been one to tell the world when he was hurt, so it was possible. Erts moved forward to help Kazuhi, but then he saw something that made his blood run cold.
Yu's head emerged from the cockpit, falling lifelessly on his sister's shoulder. A thin, single trail of red ran from his mouth down to his neck. His eyes were closed, and if not for the way he had emerged, he would've seemed to be in a deep, serene sleep.
Kizna managed to stifle a gasp of horror behind her hand, clutching Erts's arm instinctively with the other.
Erts knew that she was probably blaming herself for this, too, but could not find any comforting words at the moment. Even if he could, they definitely wouldn't have been for Kizna. Taking a deep breath, he started forward, determined to see that Kazuhi would not have to carry her own brother's body.
A heavy hand came down on his shoulder, keeping Erts where he was. He looked up to see Gareas, who merely frowned at Erts and mutely shook his head.
Kazuhi finally extracted Yu's body from the cockpit and, amazingly enough, did not seem to need any help. She had never been a very impressive physical specimen, but carried her brother on her back as if he weighed no more than a doll. Again, moving slowly, she went down the ramp and left the docking bay, with her brother in tow.
The thing Erts found most disturbing was the look on Kazuhi's face: she had approached the task as if it was just that and nothing more, merely another part of her job as Tellia Kallisto's Repairer.
* * * * *
"Here," Hiead said suddenly.
Saki stared at him. "You're getting off HERE?!"
"Yes." He stood up, glowing red more brightly than ever.
"Are you insane or just psychotic?!" she cried.
"What day is it?" he asked dryly.
"Hiead, there's nothing but space and DEATH out there!"
"I did say I might die. Don't tell me you forgot."
"But…you can't just…leave me out here…"
"If you are trying to appeal to me to be a gentleman, stop it. I've kept my hands off you the whole time; that's as far as it goes. You're on your own now. You told me you could fly the shuttle."
"I can, but…Hiead…what am I supposed to tell Ihkny…?"
Hiead grinned sadistically. "Wish you were here," was all he said before the airlock slammed shut.
A loud hiss later, Saki saw a crimson comet fly past the shuttle, just before it seemed to vanish into thin air.
* * * * *
Dr. Kuro Rivould was generally not a difficult man, as far as Leena knew. Granted, she rarely ever brought him bad news, and definitely not of this magnitude. Losing a Pilot, or even two of them, on a single mission was pretty bad, but as Leena hated to admit, each one was replaceable. Losing an entire Ingrid had NEVER happened, and she was almost certain he would give her his So-Pissed-I-Can't-Even-Talk face. Which was probably a lot better than his So-Pissed-I-Have-to-Use-THIS-Voice-Young-Lady voice.
She was still debating on whether to tell him about Kizna's absence, and decided he probably already knew as she knocked on the door. Dr. Rivould had a way of finding out things you really didn't want him to know. How he did it was beyond Leena, since he didn't get around very much because of health reasons.
"Come in," said a weary voice.
Leena instantly felt even worse: she had to give him really bad news on one of his weak days. She poked her head in. "Um…if you're not feeling well, sir, I could come back later…?"
"Somehow I doubt this can wait if you would come to see me so late, Leena," Kuro said, motioning her in. He did look rather worn out, but seemed insistent on getting it over with right then.
Leena sat down, trying not to look nervous. "I'm…afraid I have bad news."
"I see. Proceed."
"We lost a Pilot. Yu Hikura."
Kuro frowned slightly, stroking his chin. "His sister is Tellia Kallisto's Repairer, correct?"
"Yes, sir. She's taking it…well…she's taking it, I guess."
"Heavy damage to the Ingrids, then?"
Leena found it strangely comforting that he would associate the loss of Yu with extreme battle. "Actually…not so much. Another Pilot—our Top—was critically wounded."
"How did that happen?"
"Um…he wasn't…in his Ingrid at the time…"
Kuro stared at her. "What is the condition of Ernn Laties?"
"…unknown, sir."
"Why?"
"…Zero Enna ejected from Ernn Laties, sir. We still can't figure out why."
"Are you telling me," Kuro said slowly, "that he abandoned Ernn Laties in space?"
"Unfortunately, sir."
"Yet he returned safely?"
"Yes, sir. Gareas assumed command during the mission and led a successful retreat. Zero is receiving medical attention as we speak. We were…unable to locate Ernn Laties, and Gareas deemed it more important to return to GIS in order to save Zero."
"I see." Kuro turned away. "Thank you for telling me so quickly, Leena."
Leena hesitated. "Sir? Is there anything I can-"
"No. I don't think so. Please leave me, Leena. I need to…process this."
"Of course. Good night, Dr. Rivould."
"Good night, Leena."
The door closed a few seconds later, and Kuro turned his chair to face the observation deck built into his office. "So, Candidate 87," he said softly. "Let us see if my faith in you was well-placed. Bring our Goddess home, and you shall prove yourself worthy of my trust. Fail…and your sacrifice would not be forgotten. That, I would see to personally."
* * * * *
There were precious few times when Wrecka had seen Roose get angry. He got upset often enough, if confused or anxious or insulted, but angry was another step up.
But the thing was, Roose wasn't angry.
Roose was mad, in every possible sense of the word.
In truth, Wrecka had no idea which upset Roose more: Zero being hurt, the loss of Yu, or the underlying dread that Roose might somehow be to blame for both. No one but Roose had even considered the latter, so no one but Roose dwelled on it. But even that was enough to drive him mad.
She had tried to coax him into bed (both his and hers), but he would have none of it. Ever since Erts had informed them of Yu's death, Roose had been a snorting lunatic. At least, that was the best description Wrecka could come up with.
They had finally both agreed that channeling his anger was the best thing to do. Wrecka had quickly suggested their usual routine of a tackling dummy (in remarkably good shape, for obvious reasons).
Only Roose had uprooted the thing and torn it in half on his first try.
They'd moved on to a punching bag, which had lasted about ten minutes before Roose decided that should be a tackling dummy as well, and attacked it in much the same way. In the end, there was a huge mess and a very frightened Wrecka. At a loss, she'd suggested yet another punching bag, one that happened to be reinforced…not that it mattered.
This time, Roose's fists had burst into bright blue flames, something Wrecka had only seen Hiead do. But where Hiead had some control over his, Roose did not, and burned his hands fairly badly. He would not talk about it afterwards, even while Wrecka carefully bandaged his hands.
To say that Wrecka missed her attentive, mild-mannered Roose was an understatement, and she decided to try and reach him.
"Does it hurt much?" she asked softly.
"It never stops," he muttered.
"Your hands?"
He did not answer.
Wrecka took a deep, cleansing breath. "You know there's nothing you could've done for Zero, don't you, Roose? He chose to separate from the group, and Erts was the first to find him. All you could do was follow him back here."
Roose glanced at her, realizing she was right. "Maybe Yamagi was right. Maybe I'm not ready for this."
"Roose, if you weren't ready, you would be dead, not Yu!" Wrecka cried.
"He put himself in danger for me!"
"He put himself in danger by being a Pilot! It had nothing to do with you! You have to realize that bad things don't happen just because you're around! Sometimes…they just happen and there's nothing you or anyone else can do. It's just the way life is sometimes."
Roose stared at his hands. "Bad things never happen to Hiead."
Wrecka laughed. "Roose, Hiead IS a bad thing…"
Even Roose smiled a bit at that. "I guess you have a point."
Wrecka laid her head on his shoulder. "Promise you'll stop blaming yourself?"
"Yes…but I can't speak for Kazuhi. What if she hates me, Wrecka?"
"I really doubt that, Roose. No one else blames you for his death. This is something that just happens to Pilots. There's no one to blame but the Victim."
* * * * *
Ernn Laties hung dark and motionless in the ice field, literally a shell of her former glorious self.
The Victim had closed in now, eager to claim their prize, but still too cautious to do anything more.
Finally, it was the Top Victim that summoned enough desire and courage to venture forward. Resembling a black, overgrown snail with bony wings, it approached the still Goddess carefully, pausing to glance around warily every few paces. Stopping what it apparently considered a safe distance away from the Ingrid, it stretched out a long, blue-black tendril.
There was a sudden shriek of pain, abruptly cut off as the Victim furthest from Ernn Laties was consumed by a crimson ball of fire.
The swarm went into panic mode, but the Top instantly gained control again. Instead of scattering, they tightened the circle around the Goddess, determined to keep her at all costs. They were so intent on guarding their prize, that if any of them noticed the ice around them melting away, they didn't consider it a sign of foreboding.
It was not until the stars themselves exploded that they began to flee in large numbers, either trying to destroy the unseen enemy before it got closer, or merely escaping in fear. In the end, it wouldn't matter what they had been trying to accomplish, since they would all meet the same fate.
Everything that could catch fire did, vanishing into the white-hot flames for good, and within a few minutes, only the Top and the Goddess were left.
The Top hesitated for a few seconds, finding itself suddenly alone and possibly outnumbered, but against the forces of Nature Herself. Seeking an outlet for its rage, it whirled and reached out to strike Ernn Laties.
The flaming sword took it in the head, tearing through nearly every vital organ, shooting through its spine, and finally bursting from the rear of the shell. The Top's wings beat furiously and uselessly as its insides were slowly, painfully melted.
The last thing it saw was Ernn Laties standing maliciously over it like a thing possessed, burning brighter than a newborn sun, victorious as she brought her sword down in the final strike. Thus, it was Judged.
Within the cockpit, there was nothing but red, sirens, and endless, maniacal laughter. Virtually every alarm fought for the occupant's attention, but nothing could defeat the crazed cackles in sheer volume.
For there had once been a boy named Hiead who decided he could be a demon god, and for the first time, unquestionably, he truly was one.
* * * * *
Erts was not even sure what he would say. Having lost his own older brother in much the same way, he felt he should be able to relate to Kazuhi's situation. But despite how close he and Ernest had been, Erts could not help feeling that Kazuhi's connection with Yu had been even deeper than that. Perhaps the pain he had felt was nothing compared to what Kazuhi was experiencing. Maybe the best thing he could do was to just leave her alone…but something inside him wouldn't allow that. He wanted to be there for her, even if she didn't need his support. Surely there was no harm in simply letting Kazuhi know that he cared.
Strangely, though, Kazuhi was not in her room, mourning her loss. Instead, she was in Yu's room, packing up his things with slow but steady movements, never wasting a single motion.
Erts watched her from the doorway for a few minutes before finally deciding to speak. "Kazuhi-san…?"
She turned slowly, her face revealing no emotion that Erts could make out. "Erts-san. Please, come in," she said, carefully folding a dark blue kimono and putting it aside for the moment.
"How…are you?" Erts ventured, stopping a few feet away. Despite her invitation, he felt like he was intruding.
"How am I?" Kazuhi asked, blinking a few times. "I am not certain what you mean."
"Are you…in pain?" Erts hazarded, hating the word choice.
She stared at him. "No. Is something troubling you, Erts-san? You seem uncomfortable."
"I…suppose I am," Erts admitted. "It's just…when I lost Ernest, I thought…it would be the last time."
"The last time?" she asked.
"That I would have to recover so quickly from a loss of such…magnitude." Erts took a deep breath. "But this time, I think it's worse…because it wasn't my brother, and yet…I feel like it was."
"He would be…very proud to hear you say that," Kazuhi offered after a moment.
Erts was not sure if she meant Ernest or Yu…or if it should even matter so much. They were both gone now, and…
The realization hit him quite suddenly, and before he knew what was happening, the tears were flowing freely down his cheeks.
For her part, Kazuhi looked more than a bit startled. "Erts-san? What is it? What's wrong?"
"I'm so…stupid," he whispered, shaking his head. "I never even thought about it until now…"
"Thought about what?"
"You," Erts said, his voice sounding hoarse as he took her hands in his own. "I guess…I never thought the sun would set on this war, that we would always be fighting. But just now, I finally realize…"
"Yes?" Kazuhi asked.
"…how much I'm going to miss you," Erts gasped. Impulsively, or perhaps even instinctively, he drew Kazuhi into his arms and held her tightly.
It was some time before her hands crept up to rest on his back. "Erts-san?"
"Yes?" he managed to get out.
"While I am touched by your sentiment, I am afraid you are mistaken."
"…what?" Erts asked in a tiny voice.
"I will not be leaving, as you seem to think I am," she explained patiently.
Erts pulled back enough to look into her eyes. "What???"
Kazuhi sighed, but managed to avoid seeming annoyed. "I will be staying on as Tellia Kallisto's Repairer. So you see, I will not be going anywhere."
"…oh," Erts replied, feeling rather foolish. "How long have you known this?"
"A few months, now," she answered.
He was amazed that she wasn't laughing at him. "I see." It was then that he realized he was still clutching her to him. Slowly, he began to loosen his grip.
Kazuhi suddenly tightened her own grip on him. "Please don't," she said softly, avoiding his eyes for the first time that he could recall.
Erts said nothing as she pressed her head to his chest; indeed, there was nothing to say. He wrapped his arms around her more securely, gently resting his head on hers.
In the silence that followed, he could almost hear the winds of change swirling around them.
Endnotes on Characters:
Yu: Yes, it's true. I'm sorry. If you're not sure what caused his death, there's a hint waaay back in "His Brother's Keeper," and you DID read that, didn't you…?
Hiead: As you see, I gave him the firestarter shtick for a reason. I know there's no oxygen in space. It's SPECIAL fire, dammit. Godboys don't let silly things like scientific laws restrain them.
Kazuhi: Nope, she's not going anywhere. Which, incidentally, does mean something.
Erts: Don't read too much into all the embracing. It's nice to comfort people in times of need. Erts is a very nice boy. On the other hand, don't read too little into all the embracing, either…
Zero: Yup, he lives. But of course you knew he would. Killing him would be like career suicide for me, if not done right. Thankfully, I never had any plans to kill him. Just messing with you again is all…
Kizna: Yup, she's okay. For now. "It" is still in her head, and will be dealt with next chapter…
Gareas: Told you I didn't hate him completely. Don't misinterpret his keeping Erts from helping Kazuhi, either. That would be a mistake. Remember Rio & Phil…?
Saki: Don't worry, Hiead doesn't have a romantic bone in his body…or an organ, for that matter. Not even tissue. Sorry if I scared anyone… (If you saw that "wish you were here" as romantic, you missed the sadistic joke…think about the airlock…)