I'm finally back with the next chapter!

Thank you all for waiting so patiently, and thanks for all the well-wishes I received during the past week. Everything is nearly back to normal here, including all family members healthy.

I don't have an own flat anymore (and I'd really, really advice you not to move back with your parents after living alone for 3 ½ years), but that's okay for now. Worse is that I don't have an own internet connection anymore, none at all to be precise. I have to go to university to go to the internet.

That's why there are no review responses this week. Though I've read them all and can't thank you enough for taking the time to leave a remark, I just don't have them here on my computer to answer them.

Just one remark stayed in my mind, and I'd like to take the time to answer it now. Unfortunately I can't remember who it was, but somebody mentioned that my way pf putting the "…" to mark direct speech are wrong. Thanks for letting me know, and now I understand why so many other authors repeat them at the beginning of every paragraph during one and the same direct speech.

But I guess everybody who doesn't like my way of handling the direct speech marks (namely one at the beginning of the direct speech and one at the end, not minding any paragraphs), just has to live with it in that case. In Germany we handle them differently, namely the way I do them, and every other way just screams "WRONG" at me. And I'm sure that when I start doing them differently, I'll just start mixing the two ways up and things will get really, really confusing.

But thanks for pointing it out, usually I'm eager to improve what I do wrong.

That's all left for me today, so here you go with the 'real' chapter 11.

Enjoy!

Bitter Truths

Harry Potter was not happy.

Until yesterday, he had been. But now, he most definitely was not happy.

Until yesterday evening, everything in his life had been normal. Well, as normal as it could be. There had only been this one evening when his uncle Janus had sent he and Remus to Hogwarts because he had thought the bad men had come for Harry and Remus. But in the end it had shown that there had been no bad men, only uncle Janus' friend Lucas, and so going to Hogwarts had not been much different from the many times he had been there before. And this time he had met the house elves, and they had given him a huge piece of chocolate cake, so it really hadn't been that bad.

Until yesterday evening.

Harry still didn't know what had happened or why it had happened. Everything had been so normal. School, his uncle Janus bringing him to the bookstore, dinner with Remus at home, a goodnight story, a kiss on the forehead and then he had been asleep.

And had only woken to the sound of blood-freezing screams from downstairs.

Remus' screams.

Harry had never heard his godfather scream before. He had heard Remus a couple of times, on some occasions he had even been the receiving end of those shouts, but never had he heard Remus scream like that. Maybe because of that those screams had scared him even more. And because it had sounded as if his godfather had been in horrible pain.

But that couldn't have been true. Remus had once told Harry that his transformations were quite painful, but yesterday evening had not been a full moon. Remus never let Harry be around him during full moons. And there couldn't have been something else hurting Remus, because Remus could make everything better. Everything.

Whenever Harry had a tummy ache or a scratched knee, Remus always had a potion or a quick spell at hand, or sometimes he only needed to hug Harry and a ruffle across his hair to make it better. And it always helped. Remus could always make the pain go away, so why had he been screaming so loud then last night?

Harry had not liked to hear Remus scream, it had hurt him. He had wanted to get up and find Remus, give him a hug and try to make it all better for his godfather, but something had held him back. For some reason, Harry had not climbed out of his bed and tried to find Remus, and after some minutes the screams had stopped.

Harry had sat on his bed, his hands covering his ears, hoping for the screams to stop for minutes, but when they had finally ended and the house had been silent again, it had been even worse. This had not been one of the comfortable silences that sometimes just happened. It had immediately reminded Harry of this one time when he and David had 'lent' the broom of David's mum. And just like back then, when David had lost his grip on the handle and within a second his whops and laughs had turned into a shrill shriek and then silence, just like Harry had known it then he had known it yesterday evening. Something had happened, and it had been something really, really bad.

Harry had even wished that Remus would start screaming again, even hearing his godfather in obvious pain was better than not hearing him at all.

And then everything had happened so fast, Harry hardly remembered it at all. He knew that he had been climbing out of his bed when suddenly his door had been thrown open and a man in a hooded cloak had stood in the doorway.

He must have screamed in surprise, but Harry didn't remember that. He remembered throwing pillows, crawling away, shouting Remus' name, and he remembered the vise-like grip with which the man had grabbed him on his shoulders. He had been screaming then, Harry was sure about that. But it hadn't helped any, either. Not at all. He had tried to hold himself at the curtains, but they had torn off quickly and the man had carried Harry out of the room, down the stairs and out of the door. They had passed the study, and there Harry had seen Remus. His godfather had been lying on the floor, eyes closed as if asleep. But there had been blood on his face and he had not looked as if he was sleeping. Harry had screamed his name, had called him over and over again, but Remus had not reacted. Remus was a light sleeper, he always woke up when Harry called him.

But he had not woken up yesterday evening. He had not even moved, no matter how loud Harry had screamed or how hard he had struggled to get to his godfather's side.

The only reaction his struggles had provoked had been that the man who had been carrying him had raised his wand and muttered a spell, and after that Harry didn't remember anything.

The next thing Harry remembered was waking up here, in this small room. He didn't know where he was, he had never been in that particular room before. There was no window he could reach to look out, only some small slits near the ceiling. Too far above for Harry to reach. There also was no real furniture in the room, only a small cot with a dirty blanket.

And he had been alone.

This realization had maybe been the most scary of them all. As soon as he had woken up, Harry had started to scream for help, to scream for Remus, for his uncle or grandpa to come and help him, but no matter how long he had shouted, there had been no reaction. Nobody had come for him, nobody was there to come and help him. And Harry didn't know why all this was done to him.

As he had realized this, Harry had done the only thing he could think of, and the one thing he couldn't help but do, no matter how childish it had seemed. He had sat down on the cot, had pulled his knees up to his chest and had started crying.

After some minutes he had felt something press into the small of his back, and upon grabbing for it, he had found that somehow his beloved stuffed lion had been brought here, too. He must have held onto it while that cloaked man had taken him away, and while he had been sleeping it had been lying on the cot, only waiting for him to wake up and find it.

"Rory."

Though Harry was still far too confused to smile, he held his lion tightly and stroke the amber fur and mane, a movement that soothed his own fear a little. Now there was something he knew, something he could rely on. Rory. His stuffed lion. Remus had given it to him, back when Harry had still been living with his other aunt and uncle. He had given it to Harry so that he wouldn't forget Remus (though Harry doubted that anybody could ever forget his godfather) and surely Remus would never forget Harry either. He'd come and get him as soon as he could.

That man had hurt Remus, but as soon as uncle Janus or his grandpa had made him stop hurting he'd come and get him. Remus would come, but Harry only hoped it wouldn't take him too long.

Burying his face in Rory's mane, Harry wiped away his tears.

"Please come fast, Remus. I'm scared."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Remus woke up, not really knowing what it was that had disturbed his sleep. He was a light sleeper, nearly everything out of the usual woke him, but he had no idea what precisely it had been this time. Usually in those situations, Remus was able to pinpoint the source of his distraction quite quickly, but tonight he was at a loss.

Remus craned his neck to glance at the clock on his bedside table. Half past three. Groaning, he turned around in his bed and did his best to rebuild his comfortable cocoon of blankets. Just as he buried his head in his pillow and closed his eyes, he heard it again.

A small, choked sob.

Remus sat up in his bed and frowned, not able to explain the uneasy feeling that immediately started to rise inside of him.

Where did that sound come from? He was alone in the house, who could be…and then it hit him. Harry! How could he have forgotten about Harry?

As fast as he could, Remus dug himself out of his blankets and hurried out of the room. He was mentally slapping himself over and over again that he had forgotten about Harry. He should have realized that it was about Harry the moment he had woken up from his sleep.

True, this was only the second night Harry spent with him, and surely it would take him some time longer to get used to this new situation, but still he should have thought about Harry straight away.

It was obvious that Harry wasn't really comfortable with his new circumstances of living, too. He was still shy and withdrawn, hardly ever dared to speak up when he was not asked directly, and most of the day he spent in his room when Remus didn't ask him to come downstairs. But it had only been two days so far, Remus couldn't really expect Harry to be head over heels after only such a short time.

Right now he was more worried what was causing Harry to sob and cry like that in the middle of the night.

Carefully so as not to startle the child, Remus opened the door to Harry's room and lit the tip of his wand, so that a soft glow emanated from it, just enough to chase the shadows of the dark room away.

"Harry?"

The child didn't answer, but another stifled sob from the direction of the bed told Remus that Harry indeed was crying. Slowly, Remus approached the bed and sat down on the edge. In the dim light his wand provided, Remus could see that Harry's small body was curled up into a tight ball, the stuffed lion once more clutched tightly in his small arms.

"Harry?"

Remus stretched out his hand and lightly stroke Harry's mussed black hair. This small contact was enough to send the child jumping up into a sitting position, trying to get as far away from Remus as possible. His green eyes were flung wide open in panic, and they were still glassy with tears. The tear-tracks were still standing out prominently on his small cheeks.

His expression was so fearful, it melted Remus' heart.

"I-I'm s-sorry. Sorry, sorry, s-sorry."

Harry's voice was small and barely audible, but what startled Remus even more than this and the stuttering was the fact that Harry was apologizing to him.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

He tried to sound as warm and gentle as possible, but even though Remus himself thought he had succeeded in this, it didn't seem to soothe Harry's fears. On the contrary, the small boy started shaking even more. Alarmed, Remus lit the lamp on Harry's bedside table and raised his hands in a calming gesture.

"Harry?"

"Sorry."

The child sounded defeated and he didn't look up to meet Remus' eyes. It was a heartbreaking sight.

"Harry, why do you apologize? Whatever are you sorry for?"

Harry sniffed, wiped his face with the sleeve of his pyjama and kept on staring at his blankets, his small fingers nervously working through the mane of his stuffed lion.

"W-waking you."
Remus shook his head and slid closer to the still trembling child.HH During the past two days he had realized that Harry was not used to any kind of physical comfort at all, but nevertheless Remus couldn't help but put his arm loosely around Harry's shaking shoulder.

"Did your aunt and uncle get angry when you woke them up at night?"

The small head nodded up and down barely visible. Remus sighed. He should have known. If he ever encountered those blasted relatives of Harry's again, he'd show them what he thought about the way they had treated the child. A two and a half year old should not be plagued by nightmares in the first place, but teaching the child that he wasn't allowed to wake them up in search of comfort was too much for him to understand.

"Harry, I'm a really light sleeper. Everything wakes me up, it's not your fault, okay? Harry?"

Watery green eyes looked up at him, and it took Remus every piece of self-restraint not to scoop the toddler up in his arms and hug him tightly. He didn't know whether Harry would appreciate this very much at the moment.

"Harry, why are you crying?"

Harry just shrugged his shoulders and let his head sink down.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

A small nod of the head. Remus let out a small sigh of relief. If it had only been a nightmare, it wasn't so bad. Nightmares they could deal with, but there were some things he needed to tell Harry first.

"The dream scared you?"
Again, Harry only nodded.

"Harry, please look at me."

Still Remus managed to keep his voice gentle and soothing, but the look in Harry's eyes clearly told that the boy thought he was in deep trouble now. He gave Harry a small smile.

"Harry, when you have a bad dream and you're scared, I want you to tell me about it. Alright? Just wake me up and tell me about it. Okay?"

Harry looked up at him as if he could not believe what he had just heard. Again, Remus smiled down at him and gently rubbed slow circles across Harry's back. He was glad to see that the shaking and sobbing seemed to have stopped for the moment.

"Tell me about the dream, Harry."

Immediately, Harry's chin started to tremble and his eyes filled with tears again. He vigorously shook his head.

"You don't want to talk about it?"

Another shake of the head.

Remus sighed. This was far more difficult than he had ever imagined it to be. Tomorrow, when his father would come over for his first visit, Remus would apologize. Just in case.

One look at Harry made Remus smile. Under his continued caress on Harry's back, not only Harry's trembling had subsided, but also his eyes were beginning to drop close again.

"Harry? Come on pup, let's get you back to bed."

"NO!"

Immediately, Harry forced his eyes as wide up as they would open.

"No, 'm not tired."

Remus just raised an eyebrow. One moment, the child had been half asleep, and the next he pretended to be wide awake. Remus really didn't understand him.

"Harry, it's four in the morning. It's still too early to get up, you should really try to sleep for another couple of hours."

"No."

Remus sighed. Harry was tired, that much was sure. And he needed to sleep, because if he stayed up now he wouldn't make it past breakfast without his eyes falling close.

"Harry, how about that, you try to get back to sleep now, and I stay here until you've slept in? Would that be okay?"

Harry seemed to think for a moment, then he slowly nodded. With a small smile, Remus pulled one of the small chairs over and transfigured it into a more comfortable armchair. Harry watched him in awe, like he had done every time Remus had performed magic in front of him. It would take a lot more time until he'd get used to living in a wizarding household.

Now that Remus watched the small child, sitting in the far too big bed, blankets and the stuffed lion tightly in his grasp, he couldn't help the warm, fuzzy feeling that spread through his stomach. Two days, and he had already fallen for the child. Fallen hard. Truth be told, Harry had always had a place in his heart, ever since the very first moment he had seen him. Harry's relatives had to be deaf, blind and stupid if they didn't realize what a special child he was.

With another wave of Remus' wand, the armchair was turned into a rocking chair and before Harry really knew what was happening, Remus had wrapped him tightly in a blanket and had placed him in his lap, leaning against Remus' chest.

At first, Harry stiffened in Remus' arms, but as he took up his soft strokes along Harry's spine again and slowly began rocking him back and forth, Harry visibly relaxed.

"You comfortable, pup?"

"Hmmhmm."

The reply was already sleepy, and Harry tiredly rubbed his face against Remus' shirt once again before his breathing evened out more and more. After a minute or two, he was back asleep again. Remus sighed and closed his eyes. He'd wait a couple of minutes, until he could be sure that Harry was sleeping soundly, then he'd put him back into bed and return to his own room, to get himself another couple of hours of sleep. Tightening his hold on Harry's small body, Remus leaned back in the rocking chair.

Just a couple of minutes.

Richard arrived at Remus' house at half past eight, just like he and his son had agreed upon. The idea of a password-guarded fireplace and anti-apparition wards around Remus' house were still something he needed to get used to, but who was Richard to argue if this was about Harry's safety.

And at the moment he could not have cared less about the annoyance of a five-minute walk to Remus' house, his mind was somewhere completely else.

Today was already the third day of Harry's stay with Remus, and today Richard would finally get to see the child. From what Remus had told him via the fireplace on Saturday and yesterday, Harry slowly started to settle in. He was still shy and didn't talk much, but his son had sounded confident that this would vanish, given enough time.

When Richard reached the front door, he knocked and waited for Remus to tell him to come in. He waited for maybe half a minute, then he knocked again. Still nothing. When Richard tried to door, he found it not locked. Well, Remus never really locked his door at night, Highley and the surrounding villages were not the sort of area where you needed to lock your door at night.

Richard wasn't worried, but it was a little unusual for Remus not to answer the door. A grin threatened to spread across Richard's face. It had been a while since he had been around little children of Harry's age, but he already had an idea or two what could have caused his son to sleep in today.

As quietly as he could, Richard closed the door behind himself and started climbing the stairs towards the upper floor where the bedrooms were. Had Remus been in one of the downstairs rooms, he'd surely have answered the door.

Richard first checked Remus' bedroom, but though the bed had been used the night before it was now empty. With a grin on his face, Richard made his way down the corridor towards the room his son had prepared for Harry. His smile grew only wilder when he opened the door and looked at the scene before him.

His younger son was sitting in a rocking chair, barefoot and wearing only a pair of pyjama pants and a t-shirt. Remus was still sleeping soundly, his head resting on the back-lean of the rocking chair. Remus' sandy brown hair was hanging into his eyes and his mouth was slightly open in his sleep. In his lap, wrapped tightly in a dark green blanket, was a small child that looked a lot younger than the two and a half years Harry was supposed to be old. The toddler had his head leaning against Remus' stomach, his hands buried in the shirt Remus was wearing.

Remus was holding Harry with his left arm, his right hand was preventing a stuffed animal from falling out of Harry's grip.

Richard didn't make a sound, but leaned against the doorframe and silently watched the scene before him. If that was what Remus called Harry being shy, then he really wanted to see how those two would look like once the child had really settled in.

For long moments, Richard relished the sight of Remus with Harry in his arms.

When Remus had been bitten by the werewolf, his life had changed drastically and many chances for his future had been obstructed. Some of the consequences had affected Remus immediately, like the horror of the transformations once a month, his unexpectedly heightened senses and the rejection he was suddenly facing by everybody who discovered his secret.

But some consequences didn't hold a meaning for a five year old child, or a teenager in his first Hogwarts years, but did seriously affect an adult person. Like the strict prohibition for every part-human creature, werewolves included, to legally marry somebody or to have own children. Since he had been five years old, it had been clear that Remus would never be able to have a family of his own.

Though Remus, in Richard's opinion, would make a wonderful father, he had never even contemplated the idea of having an own family. Remus had grown up in the knowledge that this was an obstacle he could not possibly overcome, so he hadn't wasted too many thoughts on it.

Richard hadn't, either. On the contrary, Richard had given up any hopes of having grandchildren one day completely. Remus was not allowed, and Janus…well, Janus was Janus. His older son was married with his work, and he had just enough time in his life for his ever-changing girlfriends who vanished as quickly as they came. No, some things would have to change drastically for Janus to ever make him a grandfather.

And while Richard was looking at his younger son and the unexpected newest addition to their family, he couldn't help but think that Harry was the closest he'd ever come to having a grandchild.

Richard didn't envy Remus for what he'd still have to go through, like dragon-pocks, vomit at three in the night, temper tantrums, fights over stupid little things like bedtime, punishments for pranks, nightmares, problems with teachers, all those small things that made fatherhood such a pleasant experience.

Richard crossed his arms in front of his chest. He'd been through that with both Janus and Remus, he had no desire to ever repeat that. Oh, being a father wasn't all pain and tears, of course. There were much more good things about it than bad ones, but Richard realized that suddenly he was in the perfect position of leaving the struggles of raising Harry and teaching him rules to his son. All the annoying and demanding stuff could be left to Remus while he could lean back and focus all his energy on spoiling the child. And spoil him he would.

He had the distinct feeling that this was going to be a lot of fun.

Harry moved around in his sleep, pushing one of his hands into Remus' stomach in the process. Remus frowned his brow, though he remained fast asleep. Some moments later, Harry moved again, and this time his right foot found his way into the area around Remus' liver.

Richard chuckled. Oh, the joy of sleeping close to a small child, he remembered it only too well. Children's knees and elbows seemed to be especially sharp in the age between two and nine.

Suppressing another chuckle, Richard watched as his son woke up.

When Remus opened his eyes again, he realized with quite a shock that the room was already filled with daylight. From what he guessed, it had to be somewhere around nine in the morning, maybe a little earlier.

He hadn't meant to sleep that long, and he hadn't really meant to sleep in Harry's room at all.

Harry.

The movement of a small hand against his stomach made him look down. Harry was still lying in his lap, curled up against Remus, his small hands vanished somewhere in the folds of Remus t-shirt. He was still soundly asleep.

As careful as he could, Remus smoothed strands of Harry's hair from out his eyes and placed a small kiss on the top of his head.

Only when somebody cleared their throat to his left did Remus look up. His father was leaning in the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and a huge smile on his face.

"Good morning, Remus."

"'Morning, Dad. How long have you been here?"

Richard Lupin shrugged.

"Ten, maybe fifteen minutes. The two of you were sleeping so soundly in that chair, I just couldn't bring myself to waking you up."

Richard looked at Remus and Harry for some long moments with a smile on his face before he stepped into the room and crouched down in front of the rocking chair.

He could remember the time when Janus and Remus had been small only well enough to guess what kind of night Remus must have had.

"Somebody here looks comfortable."

Remus snorted lowly.

"He should be. After all, he isn't the one with a numb left arm."

The smile never left his face, and neither his father's.

"I had never thought I'd see you like this one day."

Richard looked down at Harry, then up into his son's eyes.

"You mean like that, with a child which I don't have to return once my babysitting time is over?"

Richard nodded. Remus looked down at Harry and unsuccessfully tried to smooth down his unruly hair.

"Me neither, dad. Me neither. Now, did you at least bring over some breakfast, or have you merely been enjoying me sitting here with numb limbs?"

Richard laughed.

"Oh, I think there might be something edible down in the kitchen. Care to tell me how you ended up in this predicament?"

Remus sighed and shifted Harry's weight in his arms, careful so as not to wake the child.

"Nightmare."
Richard nodded. He had thought as much already. He opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment Harry stirred in Remus' arms and a pair of bright green eyes looked at Richard curiously. Their talking, no matter how low they had kept their voices, seemed to have woken him up.

"Good morning Harry."
Harry stare at the stranger with wide eyes, then quickly turned his head back towards Remus, searching for assurance and explanations there.

Though Remus knew that Harry still wasn't entirely comfortable around him, his confusion and shyness upon Richard's presence showed him that the child at least considered him a little less as a stranger. He rubbed Harry's back in a soothing gesture.

"Morning, pup. Sleep well?"

Harry nodded and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands.

"Harry, there is someone I want you to meet. Harry, this is my dad. Dad, this here is Harry."

Harry looked at Richard for a long moment, taking in his appearance with bright green eyes. Richard smiled down at him.

"Hello, Harry. I'm Richard."

Harry quickly looked away and buried his face in Remus' shirt. Remus soothingly stroke his back, but he wasn't able to keep from chuckling into the direction of his father. Richard just shook his head and got up from his crouch.

"Well, I'll go downstairs and take care of the breakfast while you two make yourself ready, how about that?"

Remus nodded and got up, while Harry made absolutely no movement and gave no other indication that he might want to change his position in Remus' arms. Not able to keep the smile from his face, Remus made his way over towards the bathroom, the feeling slowly returning into his numb left arm.

Twenty minutes later, Remus and Harry made their way down the stairs towards the kitchen. It had taken him a while to make Harry cooperate with brushing his teeth, something he didn't seem to be particularly keen on. If Remus remembered correctly, this was a trait a lot of small children shared.

It had taken him only two days to realize that trying to smooth down Harry's hair was a more than just futile effort, so he pulled the comb twice through the unruly black mop and then let it be. After he had taken a shower himself, he had dressed Harry in a pair of dark blue trousers and a green t-shirt. He would need to go shopping with Harry soon, he had not bought as many clothes as the child would need beforehand to avoid having to change all of them in case they didn't fit. Shrinking or expanding clothes was not one of Remus' favourite magical activities, and he shuddered at the thought of doing it to a complete wardrobe of children's clothes. No, next week when Harry was settled a little more he'd take him on a round of shopping.

On their way down the stairs they were greeted by the smell of fresh coffee from the direction of the kitchen. Remus shook his head. He'd never really understand his father's liking for that brew, Remus himself could not find anything in it. Maybe it was the last piece of Richard's silent protest against being completely naturalized in England. After all, by now he had accepted that everybody pronounced his name, be it first or last, as if it was of English origin, he had learned to live without most delicacies of the French cuisine, he accepted most of what the British called food and from time to time he even drank a beer instead of wine.

But there was one thing Richard Lupin would never give up, and that was drinking strong coffee with large amounts of milk. The thought already turned Remus' stomach, but he had long since given up trying to talk his father out of this. As long as nobody forced him to give up his English Breakfast Tea, he could live with nearly everything.

Remus realized that Harry was a little hesitant to enter the kitchen, but whether this was because of Richard's presence or because of something the Dursleys had done, Remus could not tell. He still didn't know the child well enough to make sense of every behaviour Harry showed. He gently squeezed the child's shoulder and steered him into the room.

Richard was already sitting at the table, a large cup of coffee in front of him. A plate of toast stood in the middle of the table, next to some scrambled eggs and cereal. Also, Remus noticed with relief, there was a pot of tea standing next to his plate.

He helped Harry into the high chair on the front side of the table and poured him some juice and cereal with milk. Breakfast yesterday had been a smooth affair without any problems at all, but today Harry seemed reluctant to start eating.

Richard looked at the child, then at Remus and the younger wizard felt himself shrink under his father's gaze. The first time his father saw him together with Harry, and he looked like a failure. He couldn't even make Harry eat, not even mentioning the fact that Harry had not said one single word since they had gotten up. Harry had not been the most talkative child ever since he had taken him home, but today he was taking it to the extreme.

Forcing a smile on his face, Remus turned towards the child.

"Hey pup, what's wrong? Aren't you hungry?"

Harry just shrugged his shoulders and pulled his spoon through the cereal.

"Do you rather want some toast?"

Harry shook his head, still not meeting Remus' eyes.

"Harry, please look at me."

Reluctantly, the child lifted his head and those unbelievable green eyes looked into Remus' own.

"Harry, what is wrong? Why are you so uncomfortable?"

Still the child didn't answer, but his eyes quickly darted to Richard and back again, almost unintentionally. Remus understood what this gesture meant, and judged from the grin on Richard's face he had, too.

"Harry, you don't need to be uncomfortable around Dad, not at all. He's family, something like your grandpa."

Harry looked at Richard for a long time. Not for the first time Remus asked himself what might be going on in that small head. He didn't know whether Harry knew what a grandpa was, but he only hoped that the word was not marked with a negative association from his time with the Dursleys.

Harry seemed to trust Remus, and hopefully Remus' word that Richard was alright was enough for the child to trust him, too. Or at least not to distrust him straight away. Harry wasn't comfortable in the presence of other people, that much Remus had already learned, but this was hopefully something that could be stopped in time.

Besides, Remus knew he could not have kept his father away from Harry for much longer, and once the child was a little more comfortable around Richard, Janus was also eager to get to know the newest addition to their family.

Harry was still watching Richard curiously, but after some moments more he seemed to have come to a conclusion. He gave his newly acquired 'grandpa' a shy smile and then spooned some soggy cereal into his mouth. Richard chuckled and helped himself to some toast.

"It seems that I've passed the test."

Remus grinned and started his own breakfast, still not really knowing what he was supposed to think of his father's first meeting with Harry.

The rest of breakfast passed without anything out of the unusual. Richard drank two other coffees, which made Remus' stomach jerk a little, and Harry finished his cereal except from the really soggy bits on the floor of his bowl, which Remus decided to let go through today.

He helped Harry out of the high chair and the three of them went over into the living room, where Harry's presence already made itself noticed. The painting utensils from his room had been moved downstairs yesterday and now lay strewn all over the coffee table.

Remus had brought down some other toys and two or three books as well, but Harry still didn't seem to be comfortable with the idea of having many toys to play with, so he had ignored everything except from the crayons, some pieces of parchment and the colouring book.

"Alright little one. What would you like to do now?"

Harry looked up at Remus, who was holding his hand in his own, and frowned his small brow. His green eyes darted through the room, and finally they settled on the crayons that were still lying on the coffee table. Harry grinned.

"Wanna paint!"

Remus laughed.

"You want to finish your picture from yesterday?"

Harry nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes. May I?"

Remus smoothed his hand through Harry's hair.

"You don't need to ask. Sure you're allowed to paint."

He let go off Harry's hand and the child immediately ran over to the coffee table and knelt down in front of it. He took up a blue crayon in a vise-like grip in his right hand and bit his tongue in concentration as he continued the picture he had started the day before.

Remus smiled and sat back down on the kitchen table, turning his chair so that he could look into the living room and watch what Harry was doing. Remus looked at Harry for some long moments, a smile unconsciously playing around the corners of his lips, until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

His father was looking at him intensely, and suddenly Remus felt very small again. He smiled at Richard somewhat apologetically.

"We're still adjusting. He's shy, not the world's most talkative child."

Richard just smiled and squeezed Remus' shoulder.

"I think you're holding up really good."

Remus turned and raised an eyebrow.

"Good? He's hardly talking and he didn't even want to eat at first."

"Has eating been a problem yesterday?"

Remus shook his head.
"No, not really."

"See? It surely was because of me."

Remus shook his head and leaned it heavily onto his hands.

"I don't know Dad, I really don't know. It's…I just feel as if everything I do was wrong. And there are moments when I really don't know what to do. What do I know about small children and their needs, Dad?"

Richard laughed.

"Just as much as I knew when Janus was born."
"But you had Mum to help you. And Janus wasn't a two and a half year old who had been neglected by his only living relatives for the past year."

"Remus, you don't have to do this alone, I hope you know that. I know that Harry has been though a lot, and that it might not be easy to get him really settled so that he feels at home here. Nobody said it would be.

Remus, I might not be 'father of the year', but when you have a question, or don't know how to deal with something, just ask me, alright? I'll always listen and try to help."

Remus only shook his head.

"I can't come running to you every time I don't know what to do."

"Why not?"

Remus looked up.

"What do you mean, 'why not'?"

"Well, I mean 'why not'. Remus, nobody expects you to be the perfect father-figure from the very first moment on. You need to adjust to this nearly as much as Harry needs to. Don't think that everything that doesn't go smoothly is your fault, alright? You'll learn, and you have people who are willing to help Harry and you."

A smile started playing in Richard's face.

"And from what I have seen this morning, you're already learning quite fast. I didn't exaggerate when I said Harry looked comfortable, sleeping where he was. And not only Harry."

Remus laughed.

"Yeah, until I realized that my arm was completely numb."

Richard grinned mischievously.

"Oh, the joys of parenthood. Just wait until you have your first encounter with his elbows and knees, that will be fun. And now we should maybe get up and see what the little one is up to. Perhaps we can convince him to have a walk, we should use the weather as long as it's still good."

He got up from his chair and walked towards the door, but was soon stopped by a hand on his elbow. Remus smiled fondly a his father, then got up and gave him a long hug.

"Thanks, Dad."

Richard patted his son's back.

"You're perfectly welcome, Remus."

When they let go, Remus gave Richard a playful punch on the arm.

"You know, I'd have voted for you, I think."
Richard frowned his brow in confusion.

"Voted? When? What?"

Remus walked back into the living room to look after Harry and called the answer over his shoulder.

"That father of the year thing. If they had asked me, I'd have voted for you. You weren't that bad as a father, you know?"

Richard just shook his head and followed Remus out of the kitchen. Sometimes it was hard to imagine that those two lively little boys he had raised were adults old enough for children of their own by now. Merlin, he was getting old.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Remus didn't get the sleep Janus had promised him, at least not anytime soon. St. Mungo's was not the Hogwarts infirmary, and Dr. Waters and the nurses were not Madam Pomfrey with her extreme urge to grant her patients the rest they were supposed to have.

Though Janus had left the room in search of a nurse and some sleeping potion, he returned with neither. Instead, he had their father and Albus Dumbledore in tow. Richard Lupin had a slightly exasperated look in his eyes and the Hogwarts headmaster didn't look too happy, either.

Richard immediately hurried over to Remus' bedside and took him into a long embrace.

"Remus, we've been so worried about you."

He let him go and took a closer look at Remus' appearance. His red-rimmed eyes told clearly that he had been crying, but Richard decided not to comment on this right now. Janus had already told him that he had broke the news about Harry to Remus, and he had also told him that Remus had not taken it too well. He had not expected it any differently, but he had at least hoped to be there for Remus when it happened.

Richard sat down on one side of his bed and took Remus' hand into his own. Under any other circumstances, Remus would have felt childish at the thought of his father holding his hand, but at the moment he hardly realized it.

Janus and Dumbledore sat down on the other side of Remus' bed and the next moments seemed to stretch endlessly. Finally, Dumbledore broke the silence.

"How are you feeling, Remus?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright. It's Harry I'm worried about."

Dumbledore nodded.

"So am I, and I guess everybody else in this room. But I'm afraid that at the moment we only know that Harry is gone. We don't know who has done it, and neither do we know how it was done. The Ministry has been alerted and they have already been here to interrogate you. For today we have managed to convince them that you're in no shape to answer any questions, and before they return tomorrow I'd like to talk to you."

Remus nodded and bit his lip.

"Sure, Albus."

"Janus told me that your memory of the previous night is somewhat blurred. I need you to think very hard and try to remember what happened."

Again, Remus nodded and tried to sit up in his bed. He didn't manage it at first, but with a little assistance from Richard he was finally settled in a sitting position with his back against a pile of cushions.

"Albus, ever since Janus told me what happened I've been trying to remember. But I can't. It's all there, how Janus brought Harry into the store, how we went home, dinner, how I checked Harry's homework and then put him to bed. I remember that I went downstairs again because I wanted to get some work done, but then – nothing. I just don't remember a thing. No matter how hard I've tried, I just can't remember what happened when I came back down. I know that I wanted to make some tea, but I can't even remember whether I really did that or not."

Dumbledore watched Remus intensely for some moments, then he nodded. He pulled out Remus' case file from the holder on the foot end of the bed and leafed through it. Remus frowned his brow in confusion. Why was Dumbledore interested in the examinations he had gone through?

After some moments, Dumbledore closed the file and put it away again.

"Tell me Remus, have you been examined on memory charms?"

"What?"
"Has somebody examined whether a memory charm has been performed on you, or not?"

Remus looked at his former headmaster as if he had grown a second head, but she shook his head nevertheless.

"No, no I don't think so."

Dumbledore nodded.

"Alright. I'll ask your doctor to catch up on that one."

Remus still shook his head in disbelief.

"But what…Albus, why do you think…?"

"Because, Remus, everything looks like a memory charm to me. You haven't been hit on the head, and the use of Cruciatus isn't an explanation for the loss of your memory, either. It just strikes me as strange that you can't remember anything, and I'd like to rule out the possibility that somebody tampered with your memory.

Tell me, Remus, did you or Harry set off dungbombs in the house?"

Remus frowned his brow again.

"No. Surely not. I can't stand their smell, I think I haven't set one off since I've been fifteen. And Harry knew that, he wouldn't have done it, either. Why?"

"Because somebody set off dungbombs in your study."

Remus shook his head.

"But that doesn't make sense!"

Dumbledore slowly nodded.

"No, it doesn't. But somehow it has to make sense. Somehow it has to."

Silence settled over the room once more while each occupant got lost in his own search for an explanation. Finally, Janus pushed back his chair and got up.

"I'll go to the Ministry and see if I can find out anything. I just can't sit here and wait for an explanation to fall into my hands. I'll see you, Professor, Remus, Dad."

He nodded at the three other men and then quickly left the room. Richard looked somewhat puzzled at Remus, but the younger man just shrugged.

"I don't know what's up with him, either. But he's right, maybe he'll find out something."

Dumbledore nodded and got up.

"I'll see if I can find your doctor. I'd like to have that possibility of a memory charm examined before the Ministry comes back and involves themselves into the whole thing."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

"You don't understand, I have to tell them."

Janus was pacing his office as if he wanted to burn a hole into the carpet. Not that there was a carpet to burn holes into, but Lucas decided that it might be a better (and more healthy) idea not to utter this thought aloud at the moment.

Janus Lupin was a walking powder-keg, and Lucas didn't want to be the one playing with fire while around him. His groin was finally pain-free again, there was simply no use in risking his private parts without reason.

"Janus, you can't tell them. You simply can't. That is the whole sense behind our department, you know? If we just go out and tell everybody what we're working on, then we can as well hire at the Auror Department."

Janus seized his pacing and spun around, slamming his fists onto Lucas' desk for emphasis.

"I know all that shit, Lucas. You can bet that I know it. But this isn't just any case we're working on, this is personal. If it were only for Black running free out there, I'd not do anything. But that maniac bloody broke into Remus' house! He cast a bloody Unforgivable at my younger brother for long enough to drive any human being insane! And as if that still wasn't enough he kidnapped Harry! Listen Lucas, this isn't just about Black and what he did six years ago anymore. This is about Harry, and I'll do anything I can to bring the little one back."

Lucas just sighed. Janus had held that particular speech for a couple of times already, though his use of the word 'bloody' had become more and more frequent during the past minutes.

"Sit down, Janus. You're driving me mad with all that pacing. And if you took enough time to think calmly about it for just a minute, then you'd see reason. You can't tell them about the Azkaban raid."

Janus let himself fall into his chair and angrily kicked at the feet of his desk. How much he wished to break something right now.

"I wouldn't need to tell them about what happened in Azkaban. I'd just tell them that Black has escaped."

Lucas shook his head. He was that close to lose the last bit of patience he still had with Janus. His partner's stubbornness had been amusing and also helpful a couple of times in the past, but at the moment it was just driving him mad.

"And of course nobody would ask any questions as to why a high security prisoner was able to escape from Azkaban, when none of the less guarded prisoners has ever managed to do that.

For fuck's sake Janus, be reasonable for once in your life. If you'd tell them about Black, that would just lead to more questions. And in the end you'd have to tell them everything anyway."

"And pray, what would you suggest me to do?"

Lucas folded his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. He watched Janus for some long moments, until he was sure that the other man had calmed a little.

"Wait, Janus."

"WAIT???"

Janus was on his feet within fragments of a second and resumed his pacing again. If he had been angry before, then he was downright irate after Lucas' suggestion.

"Wait? You don't seriously expect me to wait? Lucas, are you mad?

This is Harry we're talking about, in case you have forgotten. Harry. Remember? Black hair, green eyes, cute little kid? That madman Black has taken Harry Merlin knows where, and you tell me to wait? This is Remus' godson we're talking about. I happen to love that kid, alright? You really expect me to wait? I don't want to imagine what might happen to him while we sit back and wait, what already might have happened to him."
Lucas massaged his temples in an attempt to force back the headache that was starting to spread through his skull.

"There is a reason why nobody of us is supposed to participate in investigations that concern family members, and that's just it. You've lost your objectivity, Janus."

"Objectivity?"

Now Janus was fuming.

"Fuck objectivity, Lucas! Do you know where to put objectivity? I'll tell you, you can push it up your a…"

Lucas raised his hands.

"Alright, alright, I get the picture. Just listen to me, okay? Just listen for a moment."

Janus crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall. His raised eyebrow was the only indication that he was willing to listen. Lucas sighed.

"Let's just assume that you tell them about Black's escape from Azkaban. They'll ask how he managed to do it, and possibly you even tell them about the raid. Your father, your brother and Professor Dumbledore will make up their minds about the whole thing and come to the same conclusion that we have. That Black has kidnapped Harry. And then?"
Janus looked up.

"What then?"

"Exactly my question, Janus. What then? If they know that Black has taken the kid then we're not in a different situation than we are now. Your brother will get an ulcer and a guilt complex because his old school friend has kidnapped Harry, your father will get angry and Dumbledore will get this sad, pitiful look in his eyes. But matter of fact is that this won't help us any. Whether they know about Black or not won't help just a little in searching Harry. Not. At. All. The only thing that'll be different is that you'll be in a damn lot of problems if somebody with a say in the department finds out about that."

Janus kicked violently against the flower-pot that was standing next to the window, sending his favourite cactus flying towards the far-off wall.

"You don't understand me, Lucas. I had a bad feeling about this right from the start. Not telling Remus about Black being on the loose felt wrong right from the start. Remus knows him, if I had told him about it he might have known what Black's next move had been."

He shook his head and grabbed his coat from the hook.

"I'm sorry if you don't understand it, but I have to tell Remus about it."

He turned towards the door, and Lucas immediately jumped to his feet. He hurried over towards his partner and grabbed his arm, holding him a little more tight than it would have been comfortable.

"You can't tell them about what happened in Azkaban, Janus."

His voice was low, nearly a hiss, and held a somewhat menacing quality in it. Janus looked him straight in the eye.

"What can you do to stop me? Nothing, Lucas, that's what you can do. Nothing. Now let go off my arm."

They stared at each other for some long moments, but then Lucas slowly loosened his grip on Janus' arm. The other man immediately opened up the door and left their office. Lucas closed his eyes, his jaw tightening painfully and he kicked the door shut behind Janus with all his might.

"Fine! Go and tell them, you'll see what good it does!"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

One and a half hours after the nurses had taken Remus from his room to undergo further examinations, he was returned to his room and the nurse told Richard and Dumbledore that Dr. Waters would arrive soon with the results.

Remus looked a little worse for wear. It was never a pleasant feeling to have another wizard examining one's mind in search of a memory charm, but he'd recover quite quickly from it.

They didn't have to wait long for Dr. Waters to arrive. The elderly medi-wizard entered the room, nodded at Richard and Dumbledore in silent greeting and immediately pulled out a sheet of parchment from the folder in his hands.

"Mister Lupin, Professor, I don't know what gave you the idea that somebody placed a memory charm on Remus." He took a deep breath. "But it seems that whatever reasons you had, you were right about it."

Dumbledore looked up.

"Somebody obliviated him?"

Waters nodded.

"Yes. And whoever it was, they did a very good job with it. It's a strong charm, too strong for us to break it. And it just affects the last two to three hours before he was attacked. It seems that the ones who attacked Remus had given quite some thought to the way they wanted to hide it."

Richard sighed.

"You can't break through the memory charm?"

Waters shook his head.

"No, I've had one of our mind-specialists examine it. Usually, with unprofessionally executed memory charms there is a starting point from which it can be broken. Something like a lose thread from which it can be unravelled. The better a memory charm is performed, the more difficult is it to find that lose thread. In Remus' case we didn't find any lose threads at all."

The three men looked at the doctor, trying to process what they had just heard. It was Richard who broke the silence.

"So you want to tell us that there is nothing you can do about it. You can't break that memory charm."

Waters nodded.

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do. If our mind-specialists don't find a way to break the charm, I don't know anybody who could."

Dumbledore nodded at Waters.

"Thank you, doctor."

"I'll be back tomorrow to check on you, Remus. Good evening, gentlemen."

Dr. Waters picked up Remus' file again and left the room.

The three men remained silent for a while. There was nothing left to say, really. Somebody had tempered with Remus' memory, obviously in an attempt to prevent him from remembering who had carried out the attack and had abducted Harry. And if they didn't find either a way to break the charm, which didn't seem to exist, or another hint that would expose the identity of the attacker, there was no starting point in the search for Harry. By now, the child could have been taken anywhere, and anything could have already happened.

Nobody said it out loud, but they all were afraid that it was already too late.

Just as Dumbledore was about to get up and leave, the door to Remus' room opened up and Janus appeared. Richard immediately realized that something was not right. His son was pale, he looked as if he had just seen a ghost. His jaw was set and his face determined, but Richard knew his son well enough to tell that it didn't take much more for him to start shaking. And if there was something that worried Richard, it was this.

Richard immediately got to his feet.

"Janus? What's wrong?"

Janus bit his lower lip and slowly came closer, leaning against the empty bed that had been placed next to Remus'.

"Any news?"

Richard shook his head.

"Janus, what is wrong?"

Janus raised his hand.

"Please, just answer my question."

Dumbledore eyes the older Lupin son attentively, even suspiciously. It was he who answered the question.

"Somebody obliviated Remus, and did so very professionally. We can't break the charm and make Remus remember the attack."

Janus sighed and seemed to slump down.

"Janus, I know that there is something bothering you. What is it? Do you have any news?"

Janus shook his head.

"No. No, I don't have any news. But…but there is something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a couple of days ago already."

"What?"
Janus sighed deeply and gripped the foot-board of the bed with a vise-like grip.

"This isn't going to be easy."

"Janus."
"Okay, okay. We think we know who is responsible for the attack and for the abduction."

Remus sat bolt upright in his bed immediately, and both Richard and Dumbledore straightened in their chairs. Remus was the first to re-gain his speech.

"What? Why didn't you tell us earlier? Who?"

Janus rubbed his hand across his face and prayed that this was already over.

"I can't tell you how it happened, so please don't ask. Just believe me that it happened. And it all fits."

Remus was getting impatient.

"Janus, for fuck's sake just say what you have to say!"

Janus leaned his head back and closed his eyes. After another deep breath, he looked at the three men in front of him, his eyes finally settling on Dumbledore.

"Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban."

"WHAT?"
Before anybody could react, Remus had jumped out of his bed and had his brother roughly pinned up against the wall, his hand gripping the collar of the other's robes. He didn't care that he was smaller and scrawnier than Janus, and his older brother seemed too surprised to use those advantages.

"For how long? How long have you known that? You stupid, bloody idiot, do you know what you have done? That is the reason for the additional wards, the reason why you've 'dropped by' so often, isn't it? You've bloody well known this since a couple of days already, isn't it so? And you didn't tell me because your fucking job and its fucking rules are so much more important than your own family!

Do you know that all this wouldn't have happened if you had told me? Harry would still be here, safe with us, if you had only for once thought about your family first! I could have protected the house against Sirius, I could have made sure he couldn't come into the house. But no, you didn't tell me! I thought he was still in prison, I thought it wouldn't be necessary to protect the house against him. And now look what you've done!"

Remus slammed Janus roughly against the wall and did only stop when his father pulled him away. The look he gave him was one of pure bewilderment.

He gently pulled Remus back towards the bed and forced him to sit down. Dumbledore had watched the whole scene with surprise, but something in his face looked as if he already knew what this was all about. He turned his bespectacled blue eyes on his former pupil.

"While I agree that your brother has kept a very important piece of information from you and all of us, I don't quite see what the difference would be. There wouldn't have been anything we could have done differently. The wards around your house should have been enough to keep anybody away, Sirius Black or somebody else."

Remus shook his head and wearily rubbed his eyes with his palms.

"No, those wards wouldn't have kept Sirius away. Not him."

Richard looked astonished.

"Why not?"

Remus breathed deeply, then looked up into Dumbledore's eyes.

"Sirius Black is an illegal animagus."