Title: Fractured Author:

eMu Summary: Angsty and sappy.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimers: JK owns them, gets the money from them and as such can front the therapy bills from the shit I do to them for fun!

Author's Notes: I'm almost brain dead in my tiredness from writing this so we'll see how it goes. I like-y reviews a lot, but if you're going to tell me about something stupid I wrote then be nice because I am sleepy…so very sleepy.

Remus sat alone in the dimly lit bedroom, leaning against the headboard of his creaky and less than comfortable bed. It was drizzling, it was late and his mother was battling it out with his sister downstairs…it seemed an ideal time to stay in his room and draw.

He was currently working on a sketch of Sirius Black, who seemed to be occupying a lot of space in his sketchbook as of late, both as Padfoot and his human form. 'He's just an interesting subject…he has classic features', Remus thought to himself.

"You booze soaked whore! I'm never coming back to this miserable place!" The sound of his sister's screams were fairly audible through the floorboards.

"Then y-you leave you ungrateful b-bitch! You're a bitch!" His mother returned. The scraping of chair legs against linoleum indicated one of them had gotten up, and the thudding and loud bang indicated it had been Mrs. Lupin stumbling around and falling

"You love your alcohol more than your children! Would you even notice if one of us died!?" Reya yelled.

"You shut up! Shut up!" The distraught woman shouted back. It sounded like Reya had pushed her pretty far.

A car pulled into the driveway. "Oh shit." Remus murmured, looking out his dirty window. Jim, his mother's boyfriend and source of their livelihood since the death of Remus and Reya's father, had just gotten home. Having a werewolf for a son, plenty of debts and little money of her own had limited Mrs. Lupin's options in a mate, and Jim was an abusive and easily angered man. He also hated seeing Reya and Remus "disrespect" their mother.

Reya, oblivious to Jim's return, kept screaming at her mother anyway.

Remus started humming softly, trying to tune out the sounds in the kitchen, but it was in vain. He stared at his drawing until his eyes burned, then flipped the page and started writing.

Trapped, I'm trapped here Leave can't leave must leave Miss school Sirius James Peter miss my friends hate home Make me want to die suffocating here alone friendless no one loves me unwanted must leave let me go I can't stay with them it's not my fault I hate them stop hitting us bleeding broken I'm wrong angry no please stop all this make it stop I want to be normal I hate my life I want to die no I don't I hate it all make it stop

"You ungrateful bitch! Don't you know how much she's done for you?!"

"Oh yeah, she's done a helluva lot, hasn't she Jimmy old boy?! Just look at this fine house! And me and Remus had an excellent meal today, didn't we!? Canned beans, yum! You're such a splendid cook mother, however do you find the time between downing your vodka and passing out on the couch!?"

"I work so hard for y-you kids! You tuh tuh treat me like shit!"

"Jim, don't you dare touch me!"

Miss school take me back I want to leave I want to be back I want to be with my friends miss them hate it here miss Sirius miss him feel safe with him feel wanted feel loved no one can hurt me no one can hurt me

Remus looked back over his scribbles. It was eerie how used to this he'd become. He had no recollection of writing any of it. He just started whenever he got stressed and it seemed to come from the depths of his soul, a sort of meditation. At least it helped tear his focus away from the sobs of his sister and the angry curses of his provider.

'If I were a decent person, I'd go down there and stick up for Reya', he thought to himself miserably. He stood up, reached for the doorknob. 'Don't be an idiot. It won't help things, he'll just beat you too'. Choosing to listen to the part of him vying for self preservation, Remus sat back down.

Reya was a smart girl. She knew these were losing battles. She always left before Jim started getting really bad. She would take off, leaving Jim in a rage and Jim would typically look for a reason to attack Remus. And if Remus was nowhere to be found he'd either punch a hole in the wall or go after his girlfriend. Yet anger management classes didn't sound reasonable to him.

Remus switched off his light and sat listening. The full moon was in a few days, so his senses were starting to get a little stronger than normal humans. About a week out of the month he had super senses, just before and just after the full moon. He could have heard everything going on in the house, even if it was in proper repair and the floors and walls blocked sound.

And he could hear Jim thudding up the stairs. He laid down and threw the blanket over himself quickly, pretending to sleep. He shut his eyes just as Jim opened the door. A few tense minutes passed by. Remus didn't hear anything, but he knew Jim was still standing there, because he obviously hadn't moved. He waited nervously.

Finally, Jim took a few steps forward. Then a few more. He bent down next to the bed. Remus laid perfectly still, waiting for Jim to shake him awake and start yelling. That would have been almost comforting. It was routine that way. He either let Remus sleep or woke him up. He never just stood there. He wasn't a patient man and this was weird.

Then he felt a sweaty hand on the side of his face, pushing his hair back. It was almost fatherly. That was disconcerting. Remus suppressed the urge to cringe at the unfamiliar touch.

Another hand roamed slowly up Remus' back, where the blanket was pulled down and only a thin white t-shirt shielded his skin from the unwelcome touch. Remus was feeling very uncomfortable. He'd never been touched by Jim, unless you counted hitting. And Jim was breathing a bit heavy.

"You can open your eyes you know. I know you're awake." Now that was scary. His voice was... husky.

Remus couldn't stop the shudder this time, as he realized how little of him the blanket was actually covering. One bare leg was sticking out from under the blanket, and most of his back.
He warily opened his eyes and sat up, hoping Jim would back off. But he didn't take his hands away. Remus backed up until he was against the wall, but Jim continued to touch him.

"You really are a pretty boy, even if you are a dark creature." Jim murmured.

"Jim, what are you doing?" Remus asked, his voice sounding unusually high pitched. One of Jim's hands groped its way up Remus' thigh.

"You're almost beautiful." Jim continued, ignoring Remus' question. He stroked the inside of Remus' thigh. Jim's other hand was tickling Remus' arm.

"Please, please stop. I want to go to sleep." Remus whispered.

"Why should I?" Jim asked, taking one hand away and sliding it into his pants. "I've done a lot for your family you know. You think anyone else would have taken you in, being what you are? You owe me a lot Remus. And you're getting older now. Don't you think you should pay me back? Hmm?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "This is wrong. It's wrong. Leave me alone. If you leave now I won't tell anyone."

"Who would believe you anyway?" Jim asked, and with that resumed groping Remus. "Besides, I'm not doing anything wrong. Just admiring you."

"Stop." Remus said, grabbing one of Jim's hands. Some of the familiar anger came back to Jim's eyes. He slapped Remus across the face.

"You selfish little brat! You want everything for yourself without doing anything for anyone else! You think anyone else will ever want you, you being what you are? No one else will ever want to touch you. This is all you can get." Jim said, before grabbing Remus' arms and pinning him to the bed.

Remus struggled against the heavier man, beginning to panic. Jim leaned over him, taking Remus' wrists in one of his massive hands. Remus started screaming, and Jim threw him back against the bed and got up.

"You'll upset your mother you damned homo! You're the gay one anyway, not me. I'm not fucked up like you." Jim hissed. He looked scared now, scared of what he had almost done. He ran from the room quickly.

Remus grabbed his knees, his body was shaking. "Oh God!" He whispered brokenly. "I can't stay here." He got up from his bed and dressed quickly. He pulled on a sweatshirt and made for the window with the climbing tree next to it.

Twenty minutes later Remus was walking around town. His sweatshirt was already damp from the light drizzle and he was cold, but he didn't want to go back home. He looked in a shop window to check the time. 1:47. He doubted anything was open.

'I guess I could go the hobo route'. He thought depressingly, remembering a bridge nearby that Sirius and James had shown him. It was pretty remote, the only people that really went there were teens to get high (thus the two knowing about it) and at least it would keep him dry. But being closer to James' house than his own, it was a good forty minute walk, at least.

'Although my other options are so much more attractive.' Remus thought bitterly. Deciding a destination was nice, he made off for the bridge.

It was pouring by the time Remus got to the bridge. He huddled against the wall of the bridge, wishing he'd thought to bring something useful with him, like a pack of matches. He was tempted to conjure a fire, but then he didn't want the Ministry after him either.

He was wallowing in self pity when he heard voices approaching. On instinct, he hid himself in the shadows.

"Jeezus Prongs, it's pouring."

"Sorry Padfoot, but if mum catches me smoking up again she's confiscating my broom."

Remus repressed the urge to groan. Possibly the last two people he wanted to see him in his current state, Sirius Black and James Potter.

The two sat down, teeth chattering and looking very upset. Sirius shook himself dry in the manner of his alter ego, and Remus felt a smile tug at his lips. James pulled a lighter out of his pocket, and a plastic bag with a few joints in it.

Remus edged away from them, hoping he could get back to the street without being spotted. He was almost on the grassy slope leading up to the sidewalk when his toe hit a beer can and sent it into the wall. Sirius and James snapped their heads up and saw Remus.

"Moony, what are you doing here?" James asked, his surprise evident on his face.

"I…um, I was just…" Remus stuttered, trying to think of a reasonable excuse to be hiding under a bridge at three in the morning during a downpour. Nothing came to mind.

"Jeezus, you're drenched. How long have you been here?" Sirius asked, looking concerned.

"Um…"

"Were you going to say hi?" James asked.

Remus chewed his lip. Sirius took off his cloak and placed it over Remus. "You can tell us if something's up, okay?" Sirius whispered. Remus could tell he was thinking about that bruise he'd seen after the Easter holidays. Sirius knew Remus got the shit beat out of him at home, but Remus didn't want to tell him about what had just happened.

"I just had to get away…I don't want to talk about it." Remus said in response. James and Sirius exchanged looks. Nodding, James slipped the pot back into his pockets.

"C'mon, you're staying at my house tonight." James said decisively.

Remus felt a wave of gratitude overtake him. He clutched Sirius' cloak tighter to himself as they began the trek back to civilization.

It didn't take them long to reach James' house. Remus had been there a few times before, most notably for the co-ed theatre sleepover. Remus found it amusing, the house looked just like any other Muggle dwelling on the street. Actually, it was a lot nicer than most of them. There were even two cars parked in the driveway. But inside it was about as much of a Wizarding house as it could be.

James lead them around back and bent down by a basement window. "Mum and Dad are asleep, let's see if we can keep it that way, alright?" James whispered.

"Aren't they going to wonder what I'm doing here in the morning?" Remus asked.

"We'll think of something when it comes up." Sirius said dismissively, slipping through the window. James held it open for Remus, who landed rather clumsily on the cement floor. Sirius helped him up and lead him towards the stairs, a thud behind them telling them James had just gotten in.

They tip toed up the creaky basement stairs, doing their best not to make a sound. Sirius opened the door to the kitchen, did a double take, then walked in at a normal volume. James swallowed nervously, then urged Remus on.

The kitchen light was on, and Mrs. Potter was sitting at the kitchen table sipping cocoa. She looked upset, but it was in a very cute way. She was pouting.

"James Potter, where have you been? I went to check on you and Sirius and you were both gone. Could you have left a note?"

"Sorry mum…" James said lamely.

"We didn't mean to worry you Mrs. Potter." Sirius said, flashing her wounded puppy eyes. Remus tried to hide a smirk. He was wondering if that would work.

"Oh Sirius it's okay, don't feel bad. Do you boys want some cocoa? Oh, who's this?"

"This is Remus. Remember, he was at the theatre sleepover." James introduced.

"Oh…" Mrs. Potter smiled awkwardly, obviously having no idea who Remus was. "Do you want cocoa? Or Rice Crispie squares? Wait, why is he here James? Won't his parents be worried? Oh honey, you're all wet. James, go get him some dry clothes. Oh I'll do it then. Help yourself to some food, we had tuna casserole for supper tonight!" Mrs. Potter took off up the stairs.

Remus' eyes widened in shock. "You complain about this woman?" He asked.

Sirius snorted. "I know. I've offered him to trade about a million times over by now. I would love it if the most annoying thing about my mum was that she gave me too many Rice Crispie squares."

"Well it does get annoying, having her always butt into my business. She never leaves me alone." James whined. Sirius and Remus both opened their mouths to argue when Mrs. Potter re-entered.

"Honey, I got you some jammies and a sweatshirt because you looked cold and you're really thin, when was the last time you ate? Have some of the tuna, it's really good! Well, at least I tried to make it good, it might not've come out very well because the boys only had three servings each tonight and-"

"Mum! If it's okay, we're just gonna go up to bed. I want to get to sleep before the birds come out." James cut her off.

"Oh, okay then." Mrs. Potter smiled widely at them, handing Remus some jammies.

"Thank you." Remus said politely. She squeed and hugged him. He froze, unsure how to respond.

"Ooo, Jamie I like this one! He's really nice! Okay, um…we haven't gotten our new guest room ready yet since Sirius just moved in so you'll have to bunk with one of the other boys for tonight. Or James could sleep on the couch-"

"Why do I have to sleep on the couch?" James asked, sounding annoyed.

"Because you're the host!" Mrs. Potter squeaked.

"Sirius lives here too now, so he's a host too. Why don't you offer him the couch?" James whined.

"James be nice!" Mrs. Potter pouted, glaring at her son.

"It's okay, Remus can just bunk with me!" Sirius offered.

"Yeah, yeah that'll be fine." Remus said.

"Okay then. Have fun with your sleepover! But next time tell me, okay honey?"

"Alright mum."

Remus threw his wet clothes into a corner and sat down on the bed.

"So when did you move in with James?" He asked conversationally.

Sirius flopped down next to him.

"About a month ago. Meryl's nice, isn't she? I feel like such a kiss ass because James is always picking rows with her and I keep siding with her. I don't understand this kid. Meryl is…well she's perfect." A distant smile was fixed on Sirius' face. He rolled onto his side to face Remus. "So…what about you? Is their next guest bedroom going to turn into your room or something?"

Remus frowned. He'd been avoiding thinking about this. "I…don't know. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Remus…I know you've dealt with a lot of shit at your house before, okay, but this time I'm really worried about you. I mean, what could've happened that was worse than all the other shit? Cuz it's worse this time, isn't it?" Sirius asked, sitting up and forcing Remus to look at him with that concerned gaze. "I just want to know you're safe."

"I…I don't know if I am." Remus answered.

Sirius' eyes widened, and a spark of anger was visible in his eyes. Remus quickly regretted what he'd said.

"I-I mean, I'm sure I am I just feel weird right now, and you probably shouldn't even listen to anything I say. The moon phase is making me act weird." Remus said quickly.

"Don't lie to me Remus. What did he do?" Sirius demanded, his anger bubbling just under the surface.

"Jim? H-he didn't do anything. Just the usual. He yelled at me." Remus lied, very unconvincingly. He edged away from Sirius, hoping to somehow change the subject.

Sirius moved closer to him and grabbed his wrist. He began inspecting his arms, looking for bruises. "Sirius, let me go!" Remus whimpered.

"Where is it? Where did he hit you?" Sirius asked, probing Remus' skin with his fingers, feeling for bruises. Remus was feeling panicked. He knew it was Sirius, and he knew that Sirius didn't want to hurt him, but all he could think about and visualize was Jim holding him down, breathing heavily and groping him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" Remus screamed. He wrenched a hand free from Sirius and punched his jaw. Sirius fell over and Remus backed into a corner, looking for all the world like a scared animal. Sirius held his jaw and stared at Remus, but understanding dawned on his face.

"That sick…"

Remus took a few calming breaths and sat down, keeping his eyes away from Sirius. "It's not like that. He didn't really do anything. H-he just…he wanted to. A-and he, he said…" Remus' voice trailed off and he realized he was crying.

Sirius crouched down next to him. He looked like he wanted to hold Remus, but he didn't want to overstep his bounds again. Remus leaned his back against the wall.

"You can't go back there." Sirius whispered.

"I have to. I have nowhere else to go." Remus answered. He could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks. He'd never been more miserable. He felt so trapped.

"Sure you do. You can stay here. Meryl took me in, I'm sure she'd be more than happy to take you too."

"No…I can't." Remus whispered. "I can't tell anyone else. I don't want anyone else to know."

"Meryl doesn't ask a lot of questions."

"But James does. Sirius, please don't tell anyone." Remus pleaded. Sirius chewed his now slightly swollen lip.

"I can't promise that Moony. I'm worried about you."

"If you're worried then promise you won't tell!" Remus yelled, more tears coming.

"I think…if you don't ask to stay here then I'm going to the police."

"No! Sirius you can't!" Remus yelled. Sirius yelled over him.

"I'm not going to let you go back there and get raped, alright?!" Remus grew quiet, and hugged his knees. He dropped his head onto his chest and started crying again.

"You can't go to the police." He whispered.

"And why not?" Sirius asked, sounding irritated.

"Because if you go to the police they'll arrest Jim."

"That's what I figured." Sirius said flatly.

"You don't get it! If they arrest Jim then we'll have no money and no house, and mum and Reya have some sort of living condition now. I can't take it away from them since I'm the one that took away their old life to begin with! It's my fault we have no house and no money of our own and mum has to sleep with disgusting men so we can live! I can't take this away too!"

Sirius remained silent, waiting for Remus to finish. It looked like a lot of things Remus had buried inside of him were coming to the surface. "Your fault?" He finally said. "How?"

"I had to go play in the woods after dark. I was so stupid, and-and Dad came to find me and the wolf killed him and I got bit and now we don't have anything!" Remus sobbed. "It's my fault we live like this!"

"How old were you?" Sirius asked.

"F-four."

"So. Someone should have been watching you then." Sirius pointed out.

"Mum told Reya to. But Reya never watched me." Remus whispered.

"Then it's not your fault at all, and if they've been telling you that then they're full of shit. You were a child. I don't care if you were the most intelligent four year old on the planet, that's still too young to be left unattended." Sirius said, sounding angry again.

Remus nodded. "I know what you're saying makes sense. I just…I could never forgive myself for letting Dad die." Remus whispered, sounding broken. Sirius wanted more than ever to take him into his arms and comfort him, but he didn't dare try after what had happened the last time he'd touched Remus.

"Look…Meryl won't mind you staying. At least think about it, okay?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded. Sirius sat there awkwardly for a minute. He was about to stand up, but Remus placed a hand on his arm. Sirius sat back down.

"I'm sorry I punched you. I sort of lost control."

"No, Remus it's okay. I deserved it. After what you just went through, touching you like that-"

"No, it's not okay. You were just trying to look our for me. And I'm sorry." Remus said firmly. Remus grimaced. "This is the scariest sensation. I'm afraid that any time anyone touches me, all I'm going to be able to think about is Jim holding me down and groping me…" Remus' voice trailed off.

Sirius frowned. "Then you'll just have to refrain from casual sex."

"What?" Remus asked, taken aback.

"Well…I only see that being a problem if you're just messing around with someone you hardly know. But if you're being touched by someone you care about, and who cares about you, then I'm relatively sure they'll be able to help you through it." Sirius explained.

Remus considered. "I hope so. Otherwise I'll be a virgin forever. Well, that might happen anyway."

"I wouldn't count on it." Sirius said, before he'd thought properly about what he was saying. Remus raised an eyebrow and he started blushing. "I mean, um…you're, er…"

"Let's just go to bed, alright?"

"Yeah. We'll straighten everything out in the morning." Sirius climbed into the bed. The one bed. He looked questioningly at Remus. "Is this going to be okay? Because I can sleep on the couch if you want. It's a comfy couch."

Remus hesitated for a moment, then crawled into bed next to Sirius. "This will be fine."

He whispered, resting his head on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius stroked his hair, a smile on his face.
'I promise I'll touch you and make it feel good'. Sirius thought happily, before drifting into peaceful sleep.
END