Notes: From the reviews of last chapter, I definitely have your attention now. Good. Again, there IS a reason for the dream, to be revealed later on.
None of the Goddesses will refer to Hiead by name as they would with Zero. I just think it would imply a closeness that isn't really there. Hiead is only interested in one Goddess, after all…
Change
Chapter 12
"They're not going to go away on their own, you know."
"But why do they have to be so BIG?" Roose complained, picking up one of the large pills.
"How big is the hole Hiead put in your ribs?" Zero asked, seemingly innocently.
Roose shot him a dirty look. "Point taken."
"Then take your pills and quit whining. It's one thing if Hiead kills you. It's entirely another if you do by not doing what the doctors tell you." Zero looked down at his own plate. "That is what got Yu, after all." He didn't like to mention Yu's name, especially around Roose, but the ploy had the desired effect.
The pills were gone in instant, though Roose looked as if he'd taken them too fast.
"Did he ever…tell anyone?" Roose asked after he caught his breath.
"Never," Zero replied faintly. "None of the medical staff knew, either. Of course, they didn't have any files on his family's history, so there was no way they COULD know. Kazuhi told me most blood tests would come back clean unless they looked specifically for the one thing he did have."
"You and…Kazuhi are close, then?" Roose said, looking at him hopefully.
"Why do you ask?"
"I don't know her that well, so I'm not sure, but…I think she might be overworking herself lately."
Zero frowned. "What makes you say that?"
"Every time I go into the docking bay, she's in there, working on Omega Kallisto. And I've been in there a LOT lately, so that's saying something. I'm not even sure if she ever leaves. Plus, Wrecka has tried knocking on her door at different times, but there's never an answer. Like I said, we don't really know her, but…it can't be healthy, working such long hours. Maybe you should talk to her."
"Maybe I will," Zero said, in a way that implied he definitely would.
* * * * *
Kazuhi was so focused on her work that it took a few seconds to realize someone was standing beside her.
"That's new," the visitor observed, staring up at Omega Kallisto.
"Yes," she said, not looking up from the console. "Hiead-san requested that I make certain changes to the Ingrid."
There was a slight pause before the visitor moved closer to her. "I noticed you don't drink coffee."
Kazuhi paused and caught a whiff of tea. She looked up to see Kizna offering her a mug and a hopeful expression.
"I promise it's not poisoned," she added after a few seconds.
Kazuhi did not comment on that, but she did finally accept the cup. "Thank you," she said softly.
"It's not as good as you'd make, but I was hoping being near starvation would dull your tastes a bit."
"Rei-sama sent you, didn't he?"
Kizna looked offended. "No. He wouldn't have thought of the tea, anyway."
"Erts-san, then?"
"Believe it or not, I actually decided to do this on my own."
Kazuhi looked doubtful, but had the decency to sip her tea in silence. "It's not bad," she said at length.
"But since you did mention it, the boys are worried about you. Erts especially. Zero's more of the opinion that you can take care of yourself."
"And you?" Kazuhi asked abruptly. "What do you think, Kizna-san?"
Kizna blinked, but decided to either ignore or accept the title. "I think Hiead forgot to tell you that breaks are required, and you know better than to ask for one. But that's still no excuse for not eating. He can't be watching you ALL the time. And if you get sick, that's even more time you CAN'T work on the Ingrid."
"Are you here to drag me away from my work?"
"I'm here because I don't know you well, and I'd like to get the chance before you waste away."
"You're sure Rei-sama didn't-"
"No," Kizna insisted, frowning.
Kazuhi stared at her for nearly a whole minute. "I know my limits, Kizna-san. But I think I now understand why Rei-sama counts you among his friends. Still, I must get back to work."
Kizna shrugged and walked down the ramp. "Well, at least I got her to stop for a few minutes…"
* * * * *
"I can't do it."
Clay looked up from his papers to see Ihkny staring at him expectantly. "You can't do what, exactly?"
"I can't…write a report on that Repairer…Kazuhi Hikura."
"Oh?" Clay asked.
"I…I'm jealous of her." Ihkny looked away.
"You mean because she and Hiead are able to co-exist without threats of violence?"
She was silent for a moment. "I don't understand why he likes her better," she said at last. "I would've done anything for him if he'd just treated me like an actual person."
"You did anything for him, anyway, just out of fear," Clay pointed out.
"So why isn't she afraid of him? Why hasn't he tried to scare her?" Ihkny threw up her hands in frustration. "Why do they have to LIKE each other?!"
"Would you prefer that Hiead threaten Kazuhi and make him fear him?"
"No, but…it would make me feel better," she admitted, knowing it sounded odd.
"Why?"
"Because it would mean he treated her the same as he treated me…that we were the same to him."
"But you're not." Clay adjusted his glasses ever so slightly. "Have you ever seen Kazuhi shrink back in fear of him?"
"No."
"Have you ever seen her try to understand him against his wishes?"
"No."
"Didn't you do those things when you were his Repairer?"
"Yes, but…he frightened me. Why isn't she afraid?"
"Who says she isn't? She could very well be extremely afraid of him. But she does not show it, so he seems to have given up trying."
"But…that's not fair," Ihkny murmured, aware how childish she sounded.
"Perhaps. Kazuhi is strong in a way many people are not. There are not many people able to work with someone like Hiead successfully. She is one of the few."
She glared at him. "Are you saying my term with him wasn't successful?"
Clay merely looked at her. "I am simply saying," he said quietly, "that there is a reason he chose her over you. Whether or not it can be based on factual, provable information is unimportant. It was a real enough reason in Hiead's mind, and so he acted upon it. In any case, if he regretted his decision in any way, I am sure we would know about it by now."
"You think he made the right choice," Ihkny said, a hint of accusation in her voice.
"What does my opinion matter? I have no say in what happens to Hiead or Kazuhi at this time."
"If you did…would you have let me stay with him?"
"I sincerely doubt Hiead would have let that happen, no matter who told him it was to be so. It was he who initiated the separation. Your insistence to remain with him would only have made things worse for both of you."
"You don't know that for certain."
"He wanted nothing to do with you from the start, Ihkny. He practically abandoned you so he could become a Pilot. He's even made it clear that you were, in his opinion, holding him back. And I can't even say I disagree entirely with his line of thought. I seriously doubt anyone on GIS would recommend you for Repairer over Kazuhi. Just the fact that you're here, still pining over Hiead, proves that you lack the maturity and responsibility needed to perform the duties of Repairer as well as she does."
"YOU'RE the one that brought me here! You knew, didn't you?! You knew I'd see them together!"
Clay closed his eyes. "I assure you that Hiead is as much a mystery to me now as he was the day I met him. Maybe even more so, now that he's become a Pilot. I cannot even begin to guess what he might be thinking at any moment."
Ihkny sank down in a chair and looked away. "Why did you bring me here, Clay? Honestly."
"If I had not, you would've been dismissed from GOA. I assumed you would want to be near Kizna and Zero, even if you could not interact with them directly."
"That's the only reason?"
"No." Clay sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I, rather selfishly, perhaps, hoped my presence would be reassuring. A reminder of happier times, as it were. But it seems I've done nothing but irritate you from day one. But if you are truly unhappy here and unable to do the job, I will send you away. But understand that you can only go home from here."
After a long moment, Ihkny whispered, "I'll try harder."
"I had hoped you might."
* * * * *
Erts was not surprised when a frown appeared on Emily's perfect, ethereal face. ~"Well?"~ he asked.
She stared at him for a few minutes, and finally gave him an answer. ~Do not believe.~
He sighed. ~"It's no longer a question of believing it, Emily. I just want to know why I had this dream, and what it means, if anything."~
~Do not believe,~ she repeated firmly. ~Sister would not cause such a thing to happen. There is no reason. She guards/surrounds/owns Silence dearly.~
Erts blinked slowly. His "connection" with Emily was much clearer now, but every now and then, he still got a bit of static on some thoughts. The problem was that the Goddesses were so old (even his Emily, the youngest), many of their concepts could not be properly described with one word. There was no point in asking Emily to clarify, she would probably only confuse him more in the process. Whatever she had meant, there was definitely an unusually strong link between Omega Kallisto and Kazuhi (Emily had taken to calling her Silence for obvious reasons).
~"Then you don't think Hiead is in any danger?"~ he asked.
Emily frowned again. ~He was not harmed, even in your dream?~
Erts blushed. ~"Yes, but…humanity considers such a thing harmful…if not in body, then in mind. Though, I understand it usually happens to women, not the other way around."~
She considered that for a minute. ~Sibling would not be greatly affected by such a thing. It is not in his nature to…care?~
He thought it odd that Emily always referred to Zero by name (his true name), but labeled Hiead as Sibling, as if his very name were a curse.
Emily drifted closer and pressed her hand gently to his cheek. ~Pretty worries much about things he cannot change?~
Erts shrugged, leaning into her palm and closing his eyes. ~"It's just…I care for Kazuhi. I don't want to see her do such a thing, for any reason."~
~You believe mating with Sibling is a crime/sin/evil?~
He shook his head. ~ "It is if he doesn't wish to…mate.~
~And if he did? Would it still be crime/sin/evil?~
Erts started to answer, and then stopped. Truth be told, he didn't really see anyone as being good enough for Kazuhi, not even himself. He definitely didn't want her anywhere near Hiead, even if it was just for work purposes. Really, just the thought of them having sex was more disturbing than the thought of Kazuhi forcing herself on him. Not that the latter was welcome in his head, either.
~You fear/hate/distrust Sibling?~ Emily guessed after a moment a silence.
Erts hesitated, but finally nodded. ~"He has…hurt people needlessly in the past. He has not changed."~ He peered at her curiously. ~"Does it bother you that I don't like him?"~
She made a one-shouldered motion that seemed to imitate a shrug. ~Is Sibling. How you feel at him is not my concern.~
~"Don't you…love him, though?"~
Emily shook her head. ~Pretty only loves Beautiful in his clan. Must I love all in mine?~
~"Then you don't care about him? At all?"~
~Do not love Sibling. Always care. Would not willingly let Sibling perish/die/cease.~
~ "But is that because you care for him, or for your sister?"~
She frowned. ~Sibling is Sibling. Sister is Sister. Each has own place here.~ She touched her chest. ~Sister has bigger place, but Sibling still matters.~
~"And is my place smaller than his?"~ Erts asked jokingly.
Emily shook her head in surprise. ~Pretty has no place here.~
He stopped smiling. ~"Hey…! I'm not in your heart at all?!"~
~Heart is here?~ She indicated her chest again. ~Sister is in heart. Sibling is in heart.~
~"Yeah, we covered that already,"~ Erts muttered.
Emily took his hand and placed it on her chest. ~But Pretty IS heart,~ she explained gently.
He stared at her. ~"I…what?"~
She smiled and drew him into her arms, placing a light kiss on his forehead. ~Silly Pretty.~
* * * * *
Kizna was more than a little surprised when she went to get Zero. She imagined he'd ignored all the alarms going off, but found him suited for battle and already leaving his room.
"This is new," she observed, secretly pleased that he was taking the alarm seriously.
He shrugged and gave her a hasty smile before they headed to the docking bay together.
Unfortunately, Zero's readiness had probably upset some strange balance, because they found that NO ONE else was prepared to leave. Instead, they were all (save for Hiead, who was mysteriously absent) gathered around Omega Kallisto and talking in loud, concerned voices.
"You are NOT going anywhere," Gareas was saying as Zero & Kizna headed up the ramp. "I absolutely forbid it!"
"Who's not going anywhere?" Zero asked, in a sort of tone that suggested HE was the Top, not anyone else…which was true, but he rarely ever needed to remind anyone. Well, no one but Gareas.
Gareas spared him a withering glance and turned back to Erts & Kazuhi, his intended targets.
But it was then that Zero noticed something…slightly odd. Kazuhi seemed dangerously pale, so much so that she was not actually standing beside Erts, as he'd first assumed, but leaning on him for support.
"What happened?" Zero asked sharply, so much so that he was impossible to ignore.
Erts shot him a look that seemed to beg for a voice of reason. "Kazuhi faint-"
Even in her weakened state, Kazuhi gave him a glare full of malice.
"…that is, I thought Kazuhi looked as if she might faint," Erts corrected himself, blushing noticeably. "I suggested that maybe she shouldn't be required to monitor Hiead in battle this time…"
"She'd only be putting him in danger," Gareas argued…and then, deciding he was fine with that, backed off and went to climb in his own Ingrid, much to Leena's annoyance.
"Kazuhi-chan," Zero said quietly, stepping forward and lightly touching her arm. "You don't look well. Do you still insist on carrying out your duties?"
She met Zero's eyes and seemed to falter for a second. Then she blinked and nodded. "Yes, Rei-sama. I will not abandon my Pilot."
Erts cringed at that, but wisely remained silent.
Leena frowned, clearly upset. "Zero, tell her she can't," she pleaded. "She's in no condition to do anything other than go to bed. She hasn't slept in ages."
Zero glanced at Leena, but said nothing. Ultimately, only he or Hiead had the authority to make Kazuhi step down temporarily. The tricky thing was that Leena couldn't…though she could, however, relieve Kazuhi of her duties permanently, but everyone knew she wouldn't. Not when all Kazuhi needed was a good night's sleep.
But Zero had never gone over Hiead's head or behind his back, and he wasn't about to start now. If Kazuhi refused to step aside, he would let her return to work at her own peril.
"You are all in my way," Hiead said, suddenly behind them. "I suggest you get out of it. Quickly."
Needless to say, a path was cleared, and he stalked up the ramp, stopping before Erts & Kazuhi.
"Honestly, Cocteau. You couldn't have chosen a worse time to be openly affectionate."
Erts turned bright red. "Kazuhi is not well," he muttered.
Hiead peered at his Repairer through largely unconcerned eyes. "She's not dead," he noted.
Kizna bristled at that, but Zero waved her into silence.
"She could be soon," Erts replied, earning another glare from Kazuhi, but largely ignoring it.
Hiead continued to stare at Kazuhi, finally stepping closer and gripping her chin firmly so he could study her face. At last, he released her with a scowl. "Get out of my sight and into bed, Hikura. You're of no use to me in this state."
Kazuhi instantly drew away from Erts and slowly made her way down the ramp, not offering even the slightest hint of protest.
Hiead glared at them all. "In case you hadn't noticed, there IS a swarm approaching." He vanished into Omega Kallisto's cockpit.
"He has a point," Zero said mildly. He poked Kizna to get her moving, and they headed for Ernn Laties.
As the others left Omega Kallisto's ramp, Erts couldn't help replaying the scene in his mind. Hiead had been his usual rude self, of course…but underneath it, he'd actually done what was best for Kazuhi…and himself, in the long run. It certainly wasn't as if he couldn't go one battle without a Repairer. But the fact that he was willing to said a lot…at least, it did to Erts. Since the dream, he had been afraid that Kazuhi might develop feelings for Hiead, the way poor Ihkny had. It had never once occurred to him that it might be the other way around…