January

"It's Hermione's favourite day" joked Ron "back to Hogwarts" Secretly, Harry was looking forward to Hogwarts; he'd see Luna, and maybe Sirius. He felt happier than he had done for a long time, and that the dark days were finally over; he was slowly creeeping back to life. Downstairs, the noise and hustle of last minute packing and preparations were under way, as usual. Mrs. Weasley was busy preparing snacks for the trip, while Mr. Weasley and the twins were busy loading the trunks into the cars secured from the Ministry of Magic. The day was proving to be the same as any last day, and Harry smiled. It was just the sort of hustle and bustle he loved; it made him feel like a member of a real family. The Dursley's never had last minute rushing, everything was prepared the night before and a tight schedule was made and kept for leaving wherever they went. It was utterly boring.
"Ginny did you get everything?" Mrs. Weasley began coming out of the kitchen. "Oh, Ronald, tie your shoes, and Harry dear, do straighten your hair."
"It doesn't straighten," Harry grumbled reaching up and trying his best to flatten his hair down.
"Yes, well, do your best dear," Mrs. Weasley said again, as George came down the stairs carrying Ginny's trunk. Fred smiled at Harry ruffling his already messy hair and snickering.
"Much better, Harry dear," he teased, as Harry batted his hands away, turning and frowning at Ginny.
"What? They're your problem."
"They're your brothers," he grumbled.
"Not by choice. I didn't ask for them."
"Are we going or not?" Moody asked rushing back into the house. "We'll not be able to keep these Muggles distracted for much longer."
"Yes, yes, we're ready. Come on you three, we haven't much time." Mrs. Weasley ushered the rest out of the house and paused to make certain everything was taken, and then hurried to the cars with the rest of them.
"Do you think we'll ever have a calm exit when it comes to leaving for the train?" Ron asked bitterly.
"I doubt it," Harry said, taking a seat between brother and sister.
The cars pulled up at Kings Cross at fifteen minutes to eleven, and everyone felt the rush of making it through the portal in time. Ron and Harry secured trolleys, loading the trunks on them and hurrying toward wall between platforms nine and ten. Ron had nearly reached it, when he heard his name called out, turning to see Hermione rushing toward him followed by her parents.
Ron helped load Hermione's trunk on his trolley and quickly bid the two farewell, hurrying toward the wall. Harry and Ginny passed through it first, followed by a very silent Hermione and Ron. They loaded their trunks on the train and exchanged hugs with the Weasley's in time to hear the whistle blow. They had barely found an empty compartment, when the train pulled away from the station and they were on their way back to school.
Harry sat beside Ginny and sighed. As much as he enjoyed the holidays, he was glad they were over. Too much happened in such a short time, that he couldn't even comprehend there being enough time in the day to accommodate it all.

With the holidays behind them, the foursome were able to settle into a somewhat normal routine. Quidditch practices began on schedule and classes were as always, loaded down with assignments and homework. The weather had proven to be anything other than friendly, and Ron had been forced to call off practice once already this week, which put him in a dark mood. He had so far managed to earn demerits from Professor Snape as well as Professor Avis, and it was only Wednesday.
Harry wasn't fairing much better; Snapes occlumency was dreadful, yet again.
The common room was quiet with the majority of the students already in bed. Harry was sitting alone at the table in the corner of the room, trying to work out a schedule so he could fit in D.A. lessons. He had managed to cut his sleeping down by an hour, and work out Dark Arts lessons with Tonks, Deadly Potions and Antidotes lessons with Snape, Advanced Transfigurations with McGonagall, the D.A. meetings twice a week but he'd have to miss a few Quidditch practices. Now, if he could only manage to figure out when to get his homework done, he may actually survive this year.

Harry realised that he had forgotten to find Luna and see Moaning Myrtle. It was too late to wake up Luna, but as far as he knew, ghosts didn't sleep. He climbed the dark stone stairway, which was lit only by torches to take his schedule back to his dormitory, swapped it for the Marauders Map, put his invisibility cloak on.

"I solemly swear that I am up to no good" he muttered quietly and tapped the parchment with his wand.

Immediately green lines crossed the map and formed into a plan of Hogwarts Castle. Harry studied the map; two dots, one labelled Peeves, the other Filch were chasing each other along the second floor, Snape was prowling the East wing and Mrs Norris was in the Great Hall. Satisfied that the coast was clear, He made his way to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

Harry pushed the door open. The bathroom was full of dark shadows where the moonlight couldn't reach. He could hear quiet murmuring coming from the other end of the room.

"Myrtle, are you here" he whispered "it's me, Harry"

"Harry" called a familiar voice, and Luna appeared at the end of the room, next to the basin.

"Luna? What are you doing here?"

"Talking to Myrtle. You haven't been to see me."

"I'm sorry. I wanted to but didn't get the chance" he replied, quickly making up an excuse

"It's okay" Luna smiled as she walked up to him, her shoes clicking on the stone floor and held his hand.

"Erm, sometimes Myrtle gets jealous" said Harry neverously

"No, she's all right with it now"

"Where is she then?"

"I'm right here," said Myrtle gliding out from the cubicle "and stop talking about me as if I'm not here"

"Sorry"

"Myrtle," began Luna "Harry has a friend who has gone over to the 'other' side"

"Oh" she replied, looking a bit happier. Harry was starting to feel that even if Sirius could return as a ghost, he might not want to share Moaning Myrtle's bathroom with her.

"What's his name?" Myrtle asked

"Sirius. Sirius Black"

"I know him" said Myrtle excitedly "he's quite nice"

"He'll need help" called Luna

"Come back tomorrow" said Myrtle as she vanished into the last cublical and down to the u bend with an almighty splash.

Harry turned to look at Luna. "What sort of help?"

"Guidance. To find a way out and into the living world"

"Out of what?"

"The spirit world. Harry, it's getting late and I'm getting tired; will you walk me back to my common room?" asked Luna

Harry couldn't wait for the following evening; he had arrange to meet Luna outside the Ravenclaw common room at eleven o'clock that night. The day passed in a blur; Harry was so tired that he made a complete mess of his enervating solution in potions because he almost fell asleep while Professor Snape was explaining exactly how many times to stir it.

Ron kept asking him if he was all right. The mixture of excitement and tiredness was causing mood swings; he was hungry, but too tired to eat much at lunch, and that only made matters worse.

Ginny insisted that he was suffering from a bug of some description, and should go to Madam Pomfrey , while Hermione was convinced it was all stress related.

"Well, NEWTS are very demanding mentally, but that can also manifest itself physically," she would repeat every hour or so.

Apart from spending some time with Luna, the evening was a bit disappointing. Myrtle had found Sirius, where ever he was, and said his spirit was present in the bathroom, but for some reason he was unable to appear.

"Well it's not easy" moaned Myrtle "it took me ages to learn how to do it"

"I'm sure he'll do it" said Luna in her calm voice "wasn't he supposed to be one of the cleverest students in his year?"

"Yeah, and he was an animagist" replied Harry, trying to hide his disappointment

"Oh, well, if Myrtle can do it, anyone can" Myrtle shrieked as she headed back to the U-bend.

Harry and Luna walked back through the castle under the invisibility cloak to the Ravenclaw common room.

"Well there's always tomorrow" said Luna after they kissed goodnight.

Fortunately there were no classes until the following afternoon, so Harry used the time to catch up on his sleep. Later as he was sitting in a quiet corner of the Gryffindor common room, studying The Advanced Book of Dark Arts and Forbidden Curses., Ron sat next to him, looking rather nervous. Harry looked up and smiled.
"So, where have you been today?"
Ron blushed rather profusely. "I was with Hermione. We were talking, and well, Harry, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to tell you. Harry, Hermione and I are going out now."
"Good. About time" said Harry. "I was wondering when you two were going to get it together. It really was getting very obvious you know, and it was rather inevitable."
Ron's jaw dropped. "You don't mind?"
"Why should I mind?" asked Harry, shutting his book.
Ron glanced around, making sure no one else was listening. "I thought that you might not like it that Hermione...that is, that she was with me now. I thought maybe that you feel bad that you don't have...anyone." Ron finished rather lamely.
Harry laughed. "Ron, you're like a brother, and Hermione's like a sister. Why should I worry?"
"I just thought for awhile that you liked Hermione yourself," Ron admitted.
Harry looked slightly frustrated. "She's a nice girl. Besides," admitted Harry honestly, "I think I like someone else."
Ron was stunned. "You like someone else?" He looked suspicious. "You haven't been talking to Cho Chang, have you?"
Harry laughed. "No, I have not spoken to Cho Chang. I haven't even thought about her in ages. Why would you ask that?" "You did like her for an awfully long time."
"Well, yeah, until I found out what she was really like. I was pretty stupid about her, really."
"She was very pretty," said Ron cautiously.
"Yes, she was, and she was a good seeker. But ... but she wasn't the right girl for me. She was too miserable."
Ron thought hard. "You aren't getting back together with Parvati, are you?"
Harry laughed again. "Parvati wouldn't have me, even if I wanted her, which I don't. She'll never forgive me for ignoring her at the Yule ball in the fourth year. She's far too much hard work for me."
Ron looked triumphant. "Ginny!"
"What!" Harry looked at Ron as if he'd gone mad, but Ron was too happy to notice.
"It's Ginny! She's always liked you, and now you're ready to like her back! Wait until Mum hears! She's going to be so pleased!"
"No, she's not! Sorry to disappoint you and your mother"
"But why?" wailed Ron.
"Because Ginny only liked the idea of me. It was like me and Cho. The reality was a bit too much for her, I think." Harry looked down at the table and sighed. "Ron, I really did think about it, but it would never have worked. Ginny is a nice girl. It would have been great if I really could have been your brother, but honestly, whenever I see Ginny, I see her the way she was the day I met her. She's always going to be that little girl running after the train, laughing and crying. I just can't think of her in a personal way. I can't give Ginny what she needs and she can't give me what I need."
"Who do you think can do that, then?" blurted out Ron.
Harry looked thoughtful, then said softly, "Luna Lovegood."
"Looney Luna? Harry, give me a break! You could have almost any girl you wanted. Why would you pick Looney Lovegood?"
"Don't call her that, anymore," said Harry crossly.
"It's just that she's so different!" exclaimed Ron.
"And I'm different to almost everyone around me. No matter how much I want to just be myself, people always look at me differently. It's not like that with Luna. I'm not the boy who survived Voldemort to Luna. I'm just me. I'm just Harry. And I like that. It feels comfortable. Besides, we have a lot in common."
"Like what? She's a Ravenclaw!"
"That means she's smart." Said Harry calmly. "She's smarter than she looks, and too smart to settle for believing what she sees on the surface. She sees possibilities, Ron. She's really deep, Ron, and I have a lot of issues that have to be explored in depth. When I saw the thestrals, I though for a minute I was going mad, then Luna reassured me. She heard the voices beyond the veil, and she knows what it's like to lose someone she loved."
Ron looked at Harry in disbelief.
"When I get too wrapped up in myself, she can bring me out of it. You can't. Hermione can't. Even Dumbledore can't. You all tried when Sirius died. I couldn't think about anyone but myself. I couldn't see anyone else's problems but my own. And then I saw Luna, and everything cleared up. I admit, I felt sorry for her for a moment instead of for myself, and I shouldn't have done that, but at least I was feeling something again that wasn't focused on me."
"I suppose she doesn't look to bad." said Ron, trying to get the discussion back to a level he understood.
"Yeah. There is that as well"
"What about all that mad stuff she comes out with?" asked Ron

"She's not like that all the time. Only when she's nervous and feels she has to say something"

"Yeah, but she believes it though, doesn't she"

"Don't know. We don't talk about crumpled sneezecacks or whatever they are"

That evening found Harry and Luna in Myrtle's bathroom again. After an hour a pale, wispy, indistinct mist appeared, but then vanished shortly after.

"It was him, I know it" said Harry to Luna as they walked back to their common rooms under the invisibility cloak.

The next day, Harry woke up late to the dripping of the rain. He gazed out of the window at the patchy grey clouds rumbling overhead. It was another dull day.

Ron entered the dormitory. Harry was still lying on the bed, just staring at the rain out of the window blankly.
A flash of lightning illuminated Harry's face. His green eyes sparkled. One hand flew to his scar, the thumb tracing it. The other hung limply off the side of the bed.
Forty seconds later, another flash of lightning lit up the sky. Again, Harry traced his scar.
"Ron is that you?" Harry whispered as if he was scared.
"I'm right here Harry. I'm right here. You missed this mornings lessons. And lunch"
Another flash of lightning sent Harry screaming into his pillow. "Thunderstorms," Harry whispered. "I never thought this would happen."
"What? Oh...erm I'll be right back with Hermione. She's better at these things".
Rons footsteps echoed as he ran down the stairs to the common room. Shortly he heard two sets returning, and Ron and Hermione burst into the room.
The shimmering look of sorrow in Harry's eyes told her all she needed to know. It was his parents, Cedric, and Sirius. There was a lightning strike for each painful memory.
Then lightning struck again. This time it illuminated Hermione's face. Harry chose that moment to look up at her. Instantly he began to shiver. Her face seemed chalk white, just like after she had seen the basilisk.
"What's it now?" Hermione asked a little fearfully, sitting on the bed next to him "You in our second year. When I found out you were petrified, you looked so pale. Lightning, when it lights up your face, it does that to you... I have too many bad memories..." Harry trailed off, absently playing with the end of Hermione's sleeve.
"Yeah I remember our second year. You wanted to go wait by the car, but I said we should do the obviously more dangerous and immature thing and steal my dad's flying car. We almost killed the gearbox while we were at it!" reminisced Ron.

"And then the car decided it was off to live a life of rugged individualism in the Forbidden Forest." Retorted Hermione. And, you two came up with another ultimately failure-bound plan because I wasn't there, She thought to herself Harry still didn't speak for a few minutes. He just hung his head.. His hair was long enough now that it covered his scar. Hermione wondered sadly if he was happy about that. She wondered if he even cared anymore.
"I really don't know what's going on with me. I just don't feel like myself. Emptiness, that's what fills me up inside," Harry said, not wanting to talk to Hermione and Ron but still speaking the truth.
"I'm devoid of emotion. I can't feel anything except for sorrow and pain. No one can seem to do anything for me, unless it's someone I can't think of right now. I mean I wake up most days wishing I were someone else. I know it's selfish but I wish that somebody else could suffer for once. I hate most of the things in my life. Every time I think something is going to turn out okay, it always turns out wrong. I don't know anything for certain anymore... its kind of scary. I'm helpless because I'm too dead inside. I suppose there's some 'love' left in there but... I don't know... I think some of me died with my parents and Sirius and even Cedric 'cause I've never been the same after their deaths. I'll stop now, I'm ranting I know," Harry sighed. "I wish there was something someone could do to make it all go away."
Hermione just looked at him, knowing full well she could do nothing for him right now. I wish he'd just wake up one day and realise that it doesn't all come down to him, she thought sadly. Little did Hermione know that it really did come down to Harry, thanks to the prophecy.

"In my dreams I see not just my father but my mother and godfather too. I know what it means. Voldemort knows how I'm feeling right now. He knew already that Sirius was the closest thing I'd ever had to a parent. That's how he tricked me into going to the Ministry to get the prophecy last year. That's how Sirius died; because I love to 'play the hero.'"
"Voldemort's been probing my mind again, I suppose. He's just using me again. He'll find the way to break me and use it. Or correction, he already found the way to break me and he is using it to his advantage. Really, just because I'm the only one who can kill him..." Harry said before he could stop himself.
Hermione took a few moments to digest all the information. "What are you saying?" she asked "is that what's in the prophecy.
Harry thought for a moment. "I really don't know. I can't think straight anymore."

"Being to Boy-Who-Lived isn't all it cracked up to be" he mumbled. "Everyone's nagging me! I can never just go off on my own and do anything I want. Even I have restrictions. Dumbledore's been keeping my destiny from me for 5 years and he chooses to tell me now! Right after my godfather dies he goes and tells me that only I can kill Voldemort or I'll be murdered by him!"
Harry paused for breath and started speaking again, "You think it's easy being me? You try it for a day! You try having never ceasing nightmares come at you from evil villains every night! You try having the Dursleys as relatives! I bet you wouldn't even last one day at their house, let alone the first ten years of your life and every damn summer! I'm being tracked wherever I go! We can't win the war without me and I DON'T WANT TO BE THE PERSON WHO HAS TO KILL HIM! YOU TRY BEING DEPRESSED EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE! IT'S NOT FUN!"
"It's not easy. Everyday I wake up hoping to die. I always feel like I'm falling into a black hole. The sides of it keep inching in, pressing closer and closer to me. I know I'm trapped and I can't do anything about it. Someday the darkness is going to engulf me and I'll never be free. And you know what the worst part is?" Hermione shook her head again. "No one can save me from it."

The statement seemed to hang there, suspended in mid-air for a while Something inside Harry that was latent up until now was showing. It was something that proved that Harry was much more vulnerable than anyone had ever thought him to be

"Don't worry Harry" said Hermione quietly "We'll help you. We're on your side"

"Yeah" added Ron

"Maybe I'm on no one's side" he sighed and closed his eyes. "This is not how I am. It's not how I should be"

Hermione shook her head. Harry doesn't make any sense any more.

"What d'you reckon then?" asked Ron as he and Hermione walked down the spiral staircase to the common room.

"Harry's in a worse state than anyone realises" replied Hermione

"What are we going to do?"

"There are two choices; firstly we could leave him to work it out for himself"

"Yeah, but that could take ages, and look at the mess he's in" interrupted Ron

"Or" continued Hermione, a bit more forcefully "we admit that we're out of our depth with his, and get him some help"

"I know" said Ron slowly, "we need someone to watch him"

"Oh really" scoffed Hermione "who's going to want to look at Harry all day long?"

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Ron. Hermione snorted.

"Dobby. Who else?"

Not many people came to visit the kitchens in Hogwarts. Few were privy to it in the first place. During the days, the house elves of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry zipped through this room to prepare meals. At night it was empty, as most of the elves went to the prepared areas where they made their homes.

Dobby wasn't like most elves. Besides his own responsibilities to Dumbledore and taking care of Winky, Dobby felt another responsibility to the boy who freed him. Dobby had never known a wizard who cared for a house elf before Harry Potter. If someone had told him such a thing existed five years ago, he would have doubted them, and then punished himself for such doubt. Harry Potter had given Dobby the chance to control his own destiny.

Ron pushed the portrait open and entered the House Elf Kitchen. He was surprised to see Dobby there waiting for him.

"Wheazy! And young Miss. Can Dobby get you anything?" he squeaked happily

Dobby was always an interesting sight. Multiple socks covered his feet and over a dozen hats were precariously balanced upon his head.

"Maybe a sandwich and something to drink, if it's not too much trouble..." Ron replied.

"Ron" Hermione hissed. "You've only just eaten"

Dobby bowed and disappeared from sight.

"That was ages ago, and besides, I'm a growing boy."

"The only growing you're doing is sideways" she retorted, prodding him in the side.

"That's muscle"

"It isn't."

Their bickering stopped when Dobby returned with a tray of roast beef sandwiches and a bottle of Butterbeer.

Ron took a bite of the sandwich and a prolonged swig of the Butterbeer before he really noticed Dobby sitting on the mantle of the fireplace, studying him.

"Dobby, have you seen Harry recently?" asked Hermione.
"Yes. Something is wrong with Harry Potter," Dobby replied. "Harry Potter has not been himself lately. Has somebody hurt Harry Potter?" Hermione realised that Harry was finding it much harder to recover from the Chamber of Mysteries than he had the year before. The loss of Sirius Black had cut him far deeper than the death of Cedric Diggory. She was lost in these thoughts when Dobby abruptly questioned her again.

"What is it young Miss?"
"We need Dobby to watch Harry."

"There is nothing Dobby wouldn't do to help Harry Potter. Harry Potter is Dobby's friend, so Dobby will watch Harry Potter"

"One last thing" said Hermione, catching Ron by suprise. "Can we have more choice of vegetarian dishes on the menu?"

Ron shook his head, but Dobby looked horrified that anyone would ask that.

"Miss" he said bowing, "why?"

Harry lay in bed for the rest of the day, until it was time to meet Luna in Myrtle's bathroom again.

"Er, maybe I shouldn't be asking this, Harry, but what were you dreaming about?" Luna asked, concerned.
"Nothing," Harry said quickly.
"It was not 'nothing', and you know it. I've heard what you said to Hermione. All of it," She said, moving next to Harry and holding his hand.
Harry sighed. "There's nothing you can do about it..."
"Has that ever stopped me before?" Luna said.
Harry hung his head. "Voldemort keeps sending me these dreams. He's using my own parents and Sirius to torture me into joining him. At least that's what I think. He reminds me every time that all I have to do is join him to stop the dreams, so my reasoning makes sense."
Luna hugged Harry tightly. "The dreams won't last forever," she said soothingly. "It'll all be over soon."
Harry frowned slightly. "I hope it will. It's just horrible. I can barely stand the sight of them without crying. I can't stop them either. I'm pitiful."
"You are not pitiful. You're one of the best people I know!" Luna exclaimed.
Harry allowed a small smile at the compliment. He buried his face in her shoulder, breathing deeply. "I just want it all to end," Harry mumbled

As with the previous night, the ghostly mist reappeared.

A faint voice, bearly audible whispered "Harry, Harry are you there?"

Harry hit the ground sooner than before. Still, it took him most of his strength to stand and stay balanced. Just as the previous times, white light flooded his vision. James, Lily, and Sirius floated in the air before him.
It was always the same routine. James would say hello, Harry would say hello back. Lily would wave and blow a kiss to him and Harry would do the same in return. Sirius would always greet him with a smile and always asked how he was doing. Harry would mechanically reply that everything was fine even though it was nowhere close.
"So, son, how are you enjoying your time with us?" Lily asked.
"I love it!" Harry replied. "It's great!"
Harry knew it was a downright lie. Every moment he spent with this trio was torture. He couldn't stand to see their faces because he knew it was because of him that they were dead. The fact that he couldn't touch them made it even worse. All he wanted was to be enveloped into a huge warm hug that would make everything bad go away. It wasn't going to happen though, because the people floating before him were just spirits.
"So, Harry, any luck in the love department yet?" Sirius said, grinning broadly.
Harry would have loved to answer him. He desperately needed some advice about what to do with his new-found love for Luna. Unfortunately, he couldn't. He knew that Voldemort was behind this all and he knew that anything he said would be used against him.
"No," Harry responded.
"Don't worry, son. If you're anything like me, that perfect someone will come along soon," James said, wrapping his arm around Lily's waist.
It was pure torture for Harry. He hated the fact that the spirits could still touch each other without passing right through the other. He longed to touch the figures before him. He never wanted them to leave.
"Go after love, Harry. Don't wait for it to come to you," Lily added, kissing James softly.
"There they go again," Sirius said laughing.
Tears began to roll down Harry's cheeks. They splashed onto the ground. Didn't they know how much this was hurting him? Couldn't they see all the pain they were putting him through?
"Stop!" Harry begged.
They didn't seem to hear him.
"Stop, please stop! Stop..."
The dream began to fade. James and Lily, still kissing passionately, were sucked back into the darkness. Sirius followed, still laughing. The path was ripped out from under him, causing him to start falling towards the light that shone from many yards under him.
"All you have to do is join me, Potter," Voldemort's voice echoed around him.
"I will never join you, Riddle!" Harry yelled.
"Have it your way. They'll be back tomorrow night. Don't worry, Potter. Soon you'll have no choice but to join me."
The light began to engulf him.

Harry woke suddenly. Although it was pitch black inside the dormitory, he was aware of something moving. He reached under his pillow for his wand.

"Lumos" he muttered, sitting up and casting the light from his wand around the room until it fell on a large ear.

"Dobby" he sighed, falling back onto his pillow.

"What's wrong Harry Potter. Is it your Loony?" Dobby asked.

"No, It's not Luna."

Dobby sat and stared. Harry seemed like he was about to burst.

"Everybody wants me to be something different for them. Everybody wants me to be something I'm not. To the Order, I'm a tool. I'm a weapon to defeat Voldemort." Harry took a deep breath and continued.

"To the world at large, I'm some kind of hero because I survived things I didn't have control of. Even Ron and Hermione look at me differently these days! Almost all the students expect me to be some kind of leader! And when I try to lead people, I always fail and someone else pays the price!"

A tear ran quickly down Harry's cheek. "Those who aren't like that hate me. I'm just some sort of freak to them!" Harry continued. "I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask to be the hero! I didn't ask to be in that prophecy! I just want to be Harry!"

The first tear was followed by more, swiftly falling down his face.

"Luna's different, though. Luna's the only person I know who sees me differently from everybody else. She's the only human being that I can act just like Harry around. She isn't like Cho, I'm not nervous around her. She isn't jealous if I walk away from her to somebody else. Sure, she's strange, but around her, I don't have to try to be somebody I'm not. I don't have to be Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived. I don't have to be the Destroyer of Voldemort and the Saviour of the Wizarding World. I can just... be."

Dobby nodded, and waited for Harry to continue. Harry had held this in for months, and needed to release it. Harry took off his glasses, and squeezed the bridge of his nose before continuing.

"I don't know what I could give to have that. Just to be a normal wizard whose biggest worry is getting the right amount of lacewings into a potion. I want to be loved, and not for what's expected of me, but just for being me! But anybody who'd love me would be in danger! Voldemort ... Dumbledore ... the Ministry ... they all want something from me! Luna doesn't want anything from me. She doesn't need anything from me! She's happy with what she is and what she has. With the kind of danger she's faced, how could I ask her for something like love? How could I ask her for anything more?"

Saturday morning brought the postponed match against Slytherin. Harry's mood had swung from depressed to stress induced excitement. He was surprised to find that he was first in the Quidditch locker room. He thought that Ron, as captain, would have beaten him there.

Harry had just changed into his uniform when Ron came hurrying into the locker room, his bag draped over his shoulders and his broom in hand. Without saying a word, he took a seat across from Harry on the opposite bench and began unpacking his things.

"Late start?" Harry questioned. He thought that maybe Ron had overslept and missed breakfast, since Harry hadn't seen him in the Great Hall.

The atmosphere of the locker room was still uncomfortable as Harry quickly changed into his scarlet Quidditch robes. He was thankful when the rest of the team started to arrive so that he wouldn't have to make more small talk with Ron.

As the team huddled together for one final pep talk, Harry couldn't help noticing how odd it was to be one of the tallest people on the team. They looked up to him, the way he had looked up to Oliver and the twins and Angelina and Katie. Now he was a veteran. He was the next generation of Quidditch. The next era. And his best friend was leading him into battle.

Ron was looking quite pale. This season was different. Ron could no longer claim to be the beginner. This time he was supposed to be the leader. He was the captain. For once, Harry was relieved that there was some weight lifted off his shoulders.

After a few words of encouragement, the Gryffindor team left the locker room and slowly made their way to the Quidditch Pitch. The roar of the crowd echoed in the distance. Harry could feel his raw nerves turning into excitement. It had been so long since he had done this. He missed nearly the entire season last year.

Madam Hooch called the teams to the centre of the pitch and began to shout the rules. "Let's keep it clean. I don't want anything happening like last year."

"Hey scar head" drawled Malfoy. "Like the broom? It's a Nimbus 2004, the latest model, really expensive and more manourable than a Firebolt"

Harry ignored him.

Madam Hooch eyed Harry and Malfoy with a narrow glare. She blew her whistle to signal the start of the game.

His veins pumping with adrenaline, Harry kicked off the ground along with the other players. Colin Creevy, who took Lee Jordan's place as announcer, sat proudly in the stands. "And they're off!" he shouted. "Madam Hooch has released the balls and Gryffindors second game of the season begins!"

Harry saw the Snitch for a split second before it took off into the skies. The sun was shining brightly, the hoops casting long autumn shadows on the grassy field. Harry squinted at his team-mates below, dodging Bludgers and passing the Quaffle.

"Pritchard of Slytherin has the Quaffle - he's headed for the hoop. He passes it to Nott. Oh! Ginny Weasley intercepts it. Look out! Weasley narrowly escapes the Bludger hit by Goyle of Slytherin. Wealsey's headed towards the goal. She shoots, Bletchley blocks... but he's not fast enough! It's good! Gryffindor is on the board first with ten points."

The pitch erupted into cheer, except for the hisses from the Slytherins in the stands. Harry was just admiring Ginny's obvious skills as a chaser when Malfoy swooped up in front of him. "Proud of your little girlfriend, Potter? Heard she nearly took your spot on the team. Imagine, a girl taking your position? How embarrassing."

"What's embarrassing is that you'd rather try to torment me than pay attention to the game, Malfoy," Harry spat back. He dove for the Gryffindor hoops as one of the Slytherin chasers sped towards the goal. Malfoy followed him, thinking he'd spotted the Snitch. Harry stopped in mid-air, then watched as Malfoy whizzed past. "Stupid git," he muttered.

But the distraction wasn't enough to deter the Slytherin Chaser, who easily threw the Quaffle through one of the hoops Ron was guarding. Harry cursed.

The Slytherin fans went crazy, chanting a similar verse to the heckle they had made up about Ron the year before. Ron blushed madly from his cheeks to his ears.

Harry sped over to Ron's side. "Don't pay attention to them!" he shouted. "Don't let them get to you again."

"Shut up, Harry," Ron muttered. "Get up there and do your job."

Slightly hurt, Harry searched the skies for the Snitch, and after no sign of it, he looked for Malfoy.

"Gryffindor has possession. Weasley has the Quaffle. Weasley passes to McDonald, McDonald to Weasley. Weasley passes it to Frobisher. Frobisher takes a hit. That's going to leave a mark! The Quaffle is loose! McDonald picks it up again. She's heading towards the Slytherin rings. Bletchley blocks, but it's no good. Another goal for Gryffindor!"

The scoring continued well into the two next hours. Harry's legs were falling asleep on his broom. It had to be the longest Quidditch match he'd ever played. The points had been balanced at the beginning, but now Gryffindor was ahead by 160 points. Crabbe and Goyle barely had any fight left in them. They were weak and tired on their brooms. Harry had even caught Malfoy yawning only moments before.

He wished that the Snitch would just appear so that he could catch it. The fans had already lost their enthusiasm, and he'd seen some Hufflepuff girls trying to sneak back to the castle. At this rate, injuries would be more likely in a result of exhaustion on a broom than being beaten with a Bludger. Even Colin's voice was hoarse from all of the speaking. He had certainly lost his usual zest.

"Sloper hits the Bludger at Nott. Nott ducks. He heads for the goal. Goyle attempts a counterattack. His club misses the Bludger." Colin sighed. "I've read of Quidditch matches that went on for days before the Snitch appeared..."

McGonagall gave him a hard pat on the back and Colin sat up in his seat at attention, continuing his commentary.

A clump of snowdrops growing on the outskirts of the forbidden forest caught Harry's attention. They were a solitary splash of colour against the otherwise dark wood, but rather than showing that spring would soon arrive; they only illustrated the bleakness of the landscape. Even the trees seemed to be shivering in the cold air. He found his mind wandering onto other things, like his essay for Muggle Studies, and if he would see Sirius again. He had to wonder if Ron was truly mad at him, or if he was just stressed because of the game.

Suddenly, the stands erupted into cheer. Panicking, Harry looked around for any sign of the Snitch. It must have appeared; that was the only reason they would cheer. But as he swooped down lower to the ground, he realised why.

Malfoy was standing on the grassy field, the golden Snitch fluttering in his fingertips.

Harry's heart crashed into his stomach. He hung in mid air on his broom in disbelief that Malfoy had beaten him to the Snitch. Nobody had ever caught the Snitch before him in a game that was fair. Malfoy smirked at him, tossing the Snitch playfully into the air and catching it again, just as he had once seen his father do in one of Snape's old memories.

"Well, Potter. Looks like you've lost your touch."

Harry's anger and confusion fumed inside of him. "How...?" he began. But Colin Creevy interrupted him.

"Draco Malfoy catches the Snitch, but Gryffindor wins the match by only ten points." He sounded as though he wasn't sure he should celebrate or not. There was an eerie silence on the field now, as the rest of Harry's team-mates flew down from their positions in the air. Ginny flashed Harry a sympathetic look, but Ron wouldn't meet his eyes.

Now this, Harry thought, this is an embarrassment.

"You may have won the game, Potter," Malfoy said. "But we all know who the real winner is today." And with one last sneer, he pushed off the ground and began his ascent into the sky for a lap around the stadium, the golden Snitch clutched tightly in his fist.
Harry hung his head in defeat. Now Ron had a real reason to be truly mad at him.

Ron glared at him. "What the hell was that?"

When Harry didn't make any acknowledgement, Ron swung his legs around to the other side of the bench so that he was facing Harry. "We almost lost because of you"

Harry replied. "What are you going to do? Kick me off the team?"

"I should," Ron said. "But I won't. Not because we're friends, but because it's for the good of the team. You've already missed enough practices as it is. We'll have a hard time replacing you."

"Ron! I told you! Snape makes me study" Harry shouted

Ron held up his hands to silence him. "It's not me you have to answer to, Harry. It's the team. If we're going to win any more matches we have to play like a team. How can we do that when our Seeker doesn't even show up for practices?"

"Well, what else do you expect me to do?" Harry replied between gritted teeth.

"I manage it!" he exploded. "Or have you forgotten that I have one more class than you? I mean, I've got Herbology and Potions, not to mention my responsibilities as a Prefect and Quidditch Captain!"

"You'd better watch it, Ron," Harry said, his voice hoarse. He didn't know how much more of Ron's nagging he could take. "You sound just as big-headed as Percy."

Ron's stare turned icy cold. Harry knew he shouldn't have said that, but he couldn't help himself. It just slipped out.

Though Ron was being a little harsh, Harry couldn't help but agree with him. But what was he supposed to do? He couldn't skip Occlumency. In the big picture, his lessons were more important than Quidditch. Dumbledore had even called him into his office to tell him how vital he was in fighting Voldemort. He owed it to Dumbledore to continue his training.

"What were you thinking, Harry? How could you have let him catch the Snitch like that? Did you even see it?" Ron didn't even give him time to respond. "Obviously not!" He threw his towel into his Quidditch locker.

"Lay off, Ron. We won, didn't we?" Ginny said.

"Don't stick up for me," Harry barked.

Offended, Ginny turned scowled at him and headed to her locker. "Fine. I won't."

"So what kind of excuses do you have this time, Harry?" Ron demanded. "A bewitched broom?"

"I don't know," Harry mumbled. "I don't know what happened out there. I was distracted."

"Distracted? How could you be distracted? It's a game of Quidditch! You don't give up in the middle of it!"

"Don't lecture me about the rules of the game," Harry spat. "You only blocked, what, two goals and let the other slip past?"

"Cut it out, you two," Jack Sloper said suddenly. "This isn't helping. I think we should all just come to realise that Harry can't catch the Snitch every time. I mean, he was bound to lose eventually."

"But to Malfoy?" Ron questioned. "Malfoy's got the speed of a turtle. He's as blind on the field as a bat. Not to mention he has the agility of South-African sloth."

Harry slammed his locker door shut. "I don't know how it happened."

"Maybe if you would have shown up for practice..." Ron began, but Harry shot him such a look that he quickly stopped talking.

"There has to be some other explanation. Maybe Malfoy bewitched the Snitch or something."

Harry draped his Quidditch bag over his shoulder and turned towards the door. "Jack's right," he announced sadly. "I was bound to lose sometime."

Harry was in a foul mood for the rest of the afternoon, and suspected he would feel that way for a good long time. Despite the fact that Malfoy had caught the Snitch, Gryffindor still won the game, so Harry had to muddle through the celebration in the Gryffindor common room. His Occlumency training was proving to be very useful. He tried to appear as cheerful as possible, but on the inside, he was ashamed of his performance.

He could tell Ron felt the same way. He was prompted to give a speech at the party, which turned out to be quite convincing. However, when Harry met his eyes, he could tell that Ron was disappointed in him. His best friend's feelings were what shamed him the most.

That night was another DA meeting. His nerves were on edge again. He had spent the few hours before the meeting in the library, gathering last minute ideas and avoiding the party back in the common room. Harry was beginning to regret scheduling the meeting on the same day as the Quidditch game. He didn't want to have to face his peers, let alone Ron.

But as always, time passed quickly when he was dreading something. Harry glanced at his watch and realised that if he didn't hurry he'd be late for the meeting. He hurried out of the library and up to the seventh floor. He looked for the portrait of Barnabus the Balmy teaching trolls to dance. Concentrating hard on the room he needed, he walked up and down the corridor three times. Suddenly, the door appeared, and he quickly went inside.

"Oh, Harry, we'd thought you'd forgotten," Hermione said breathlessly as he entered the room. It was decorated in usual meeting décor, complete with cushions and other items for magical practice. She had the list out on the table, which she and Ginny were going over. Ron was sulking in a corner.

"I'd never forget," Harry replied. "I was looking up some last minute things in the library."

"You mean you weren't hiding?" Ron questioned. Hermione and Ginny both glared at him.

Harry decided to ignore his comment. "I thought we would start out with a review from last year - some defensive spells. And I'd like to see how everyone's doing with their Patronuses."

"Mine is excellent," Colin Creevy said as he and his brother, Dennis entered the room. "I've been practising since we met at Hogsmeade."

"Mine is coming along," Dennis added. "It's a Plimpy, but I can't seem to get the legs right."

Harry grinned. He was beginning to feel much better. Teaching D.A. could be a bit nerve-wracking, but it was a lot of fun. He always felt like he was accomplishing something good. Something that would prepare everyone for the battle to come.

As more people arrived, Harry was beginning to feel more at ease. Despite his own adventures, this year had been relatively uneventful for everyone. There was no Triwizard Tournament, no Umbridge lurking around every corner. People were laughing and having a good time, happy to see one another.

The meeting went rather smoothly. After separating into pairs, Harry began instructing his eighteen students. They started out with a banishing charm, using the cushions for comfort. Next, they worked on a silencing charm. Professor Flitwick had spent quite some time on it earlier in the semester, and Harry wanted to review it with them. It had been of some use to Hermione when they were battling in the Department of Mysteries at the end of last year.

For the final lesson, he wanted to see everyone's Patronus. He wished he could produce his own for the demonstration, but he just didn't have the heart. He was afraid he didn't have enough happy thoughts left. Ron was barely speaking to him, and he had to find time for Occlumency. Malfoy had caught the Snitch before him and he had been embarrassed in front of the entire school.

He had Ron and Hermione demonstrate the charm.

Then Harry had the rest of the group perform in pairs, and then the two of them sent them in groups of four back to their common rooms with the help of the Marauder's Map. Oddly enough, the last pair was Seamus and Cho. Cho produced her swan, and Harry couldn't even deny that it was gorgeous. Elegant and smooth, just like its owner.

"Harry," Cho said quietly, "could I talk to you for a minute? Alone?"

Harry felt his heart beat rise inside his chest. "Er... sure."

She led him over to a secluded corner of the room, away from the scrutiny of Ron, Hermione, and Seamus. Her eyes sparkled in the dim light from the chandelier overhead. "I don't know how you'll feel about this, but both Marietta and Michael want to know if they can come back to D.A."

"How do they even know that it still exists?" Harry questioned accusingly. "Did you tell them we were still having meetings?"

"No," she snapped, offended. "They've still got their coins. They both knew the meeting was tonight."

He frowned. Hermione was supposed to take care of that. He glanced over at her by the doorway, but she and Ron were lost in each other's eyes. Perhaps she was a bit distracted lately.

"Just think about it," Cho said. "Marietta's learned her lesson. She knows what side is right. And Michael... well, he's not that bad."

Harry grunted. "From what I hear, you think he's just fine."

"We're not a couple anymore," Cho replied, brushing her hair behind her ear nonchalantly. "We're just friends."

"I don't care about that," Harry said curtly.

Cho smiled. "Are you sure?"

Harry's eyes narrowed as he glared at her. If there was anything that he was certain of, it was that Cho was not going to take him on another one of her emotional roller-coaster relationships. "Positive."

She took a step back. "I...I see." It was clear that she got the message. "Well, just think about it." She turned around, her hair and hips bouncing behind her, and left with the last group of Ravenclaws.

Harry ran his hands over his face and through his hair. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He sighed and returned to his lesson. It was apparent that Seamus, who had never had much practice, was struggling with his own Patronus.

"Expecto Patronum!" Seamus shouted. A thin, wispy cloud came out of the tip of his wand, but it made no shape. He sighed. "It's no use. I don't even know what mine is, only that it's hairy."

"You just... you need to think of something that makes you happy."

"I am," Seamus replied. "It's just not good enough."

Harry could understand how he felt. "There's got to be something."

"Wait, I've got it," he said suddenly.

He grinned. "Expecto Patronum!" With a flick of his wand, the silver phantom appeared, and it was quite hairy. It was almost human form - no, Harry realised, it was an ape. But it wasn't clumsy or wild. It had long, silky hair and dark eyes.

"I know what it is!" Seams cried. "It's a Demiguise! No wonder I couldn't see it before. They're practically invisible. Their coat makes excellent invisibility cloaks."

Harry smiled. "Brilliant."

Hermione looked at her watch and cleared her throat "It's getting late."

Ron nodded in agreement. "Some of us have extra homework."

Then the two of them sent them in groups of four back to their common rooms with the help of the Marauder's Map.

As usual, Harry walked with Luna back to her common room

"You don't look happy" she said. "Was it something Cho said? I saw you and her talking"

Harry looked at her. She looked concerned and was biting her bottom lip

"She wanted to know if that Marietta could re-join the meetings"

"Oh that's all right then" Luna said, smiling again. "What did you say?"

"I said I'd think about it" replied Harry, a bit puzzled as too why Luna would be so worried about who attended the meetings. "Did you see the match?"

"It was a good game," Luna laughed lightly and, Harry thought, a bit mockingly. He smiled at her.
"Come on, cheer up" said Luna.
Luna was as odd as ever, but, Harry thought with a grin, he liked her better that way; she made him feel more comfortable to be himself.

"You flew well, it was just unlucky that Malfoy caught the snitch before you"

"I was day dreaming, and not paying attention. Now Ron's angry with me, and I still haven't seen Sirius. I'm starting to wonder if I ever will. On top of that, occlumency isn't going well"

"I didn't know you did occlumency" said Luna, looking surprised. "who teaches that?"

"Snape" said Harry bitterly

"That's Professor Snape to you Potter" said an icy voice "I think that had better be five points from Gryffindor for not addressing a Professor properly, another five because it's not the first time, and a further five points from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw for being out of bed after hours."

They looked round to see the lank dark hair and hooked nose of Professor Snape step out from the shadows.

"Good night Harry" said Luna as she disappeared into her common room.

"A word Potter" began Snape" haven't you learnt your lesson? The Dark Lord finds people like you who care about other people easy targets"

"Yes Professor" Harry was too tired to argue with him tonight

"Make sure you practice Potter. Now get back to your dormitory"

Harry lay in his bed that night for what felt like endless hours. He had been the first one to bed after the D.A. meeting, yet he still had not fallen asleep before the moon reached its highest peak in the sky. The cold northern wind was loudly beating against the windows of the dormitory.

Or was it just Neville's snoring?

Harry couldn't be sure as he tossed and turned, entangling his legs in his bed sheets. Wide awake and uncomfortable, he knew it was no use trying to get any sleep that night. He felt exhausted, yet sleep would not come to him.

He was worrying about so many things. Ron had been so angry with for ages, and the game earlier that day only made it ten times worse. He had also wasted a few thoughts wondering about Marietta Edgecombe and Michael Corner and whether he should let them come back to D.A. He would need to discuss it with Hermione and Ron - if he would ever speak to Harry again.

Harry was dreading the heckling that was bound to come from Malfoy on Monday in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Losing to him was something that Harry didn't even get a chance to prepare for.

And for some reason, whenever he finally did drift off to sleep a little, in the space between his consciousness and his dreaming, he saw the images of his parents.

With the image of his father so fresh in his mind, Harry couldn't help feeling lonely. It was times like these he wished he could talk to Sirius. He thought of the pieces of the broken mirror carefully packed into a corner of his trunk. If only he could look into it and see Sirius. If only he could hear his godfather's voice one last time.

Chaos. There was pandemonium everywhere. He could sense it when he flicked his tongue into the open air. Feet running. Shouting. Keys unlocking. Gates opening. And fear. Lots of fear. The stench of fear was so clear he could hardly smell anything else. As he slithered upon the stone floor he could sense the vibrations of laughter .

He could hear the laughing now. The final gate unlocked and they stepped out into the open air. Bellatrix took a deep breath and stepped towards him. She looked much healthier than when we fought her last year, her heavy-lidded eyes wide and black hair shining in the sunrise.

"What took you so long?" she questioned, then leaned over and picked him up.

He coiled around her boney wrist and slithered up her arm until he was secure around her neck. He had a better view of the anarchy around him. Some foolish guards hid in the cells that once held prisoners. The apparition ban on the fortress that kept its captives from escaping would now be the death of their most loyal employees.

Kill them. Kill them all.

He watched as the dark figures came out of their cells and advanced on the last of the guards, trembling in fear. One, with long pale hair, raised his wand and began the incantation that would end the terror.

And as the first life was snuffed out in a flash of green, she laughed. "Yes, Master. I will save my strength for her."

The cackling echoed in Harry's mind. Horrible, evil screeching exploded in his ear. His scar felt odd. Tender. Harry reached up to touch his forehead, but suddenly felt two hands close around his wrists. Someone was calling his name. Someone was shaking him.

"Harry! Harry!"

His eyes flew open and he sat up in bed, nearly knocking the woman out of the way.

"Tonks?" Harry questioned.

Professor Leurre sat beside him, looking more like a concerned Tonks than a stern doppelganger of McGonagall. "Harry, are you all right?"

"I think so. What are you doing here?" Harry took a deep breath and reached up to touch his scar. Pins and needles shot through his forehead. It wasn't painful, just eerie. And suddenly, he remembered. He grabbed Tonks by the shoulders. "They're free," he said..

"Who? C'mon Harry, we need to get you to the Hospital Wing."

"Bellatrix is coming for you," Harry whispered.

Tonks stopped in her tracks. "Are you sure?"

Harry nodded. "I know it." Tonks quickly pulled him up and draped his arm across her shoulders. She didn't stagger under his weight.

They slowly made their way to the stairs that led to the common room. Tonks went through first, then helped Harry. "Lean on me," she said. Harry did, and she steered him towards the left.

They left the common room via the portrait and turned right

"The Hospital Wing is the other way," Harry said, his teeth clenched as he tried to walk.

Tonks shook her head. "You had a vision. We should go to Dumbledore's office first. I imagine he's waiting."

Harry staggered along the third floor hallway until they took the stairs down to the second level where the statue of the gargoyle was located.

His mind was racing as Tonks said the password to get inside. Unlike his previous visions, he could vividly remember each detail as though he were really there. He shivered.

"All right, Harry?" Tonks questioned.

He didn't know.

When they entered his office, Dumbledore was already awake, looking very concerned as he sat behind his enormous claw-footed desk. He was wearing a dressing robe, and his long white beard was gathered together at the base of his chin to keep it from tangling while he slept. A faint hum was coming from Dumbledore's collection of strange silver instruments.

"Sit down, Harry." It was a command. "We will wait for the others to arrive."

So many questions were reeling in Harry's mind. How did Tonks know where he was? How did Dumbledore even know what was going on? Was there some sort of surveillance on him that he didn't know about? How else could they have found him?

Harry was afraid to look Dumbledore in the eye. He wondered who they were waiting for. The sunrise was already spilling through the window in Dumbledore's office when McGonagall and Snape hurried through the door and stood at the headmaster's side.

He understood why McGonagall was there - to hand out the punishment, of course. It was a rule that only the head of each house could decide on the punishment of her students. However, Snape's presence was a mystery to him. Snape appeared to have been awake. He was not dressed in any sort of night clothes. Perhaps he slept in the same tattered black robes that he wore during the day. It wouldn't surprise Harry if he did. At least it would account for his greasiness.

When he met Snape's eyes, Harry could sense he was rather apprehensive about the whole situation. Maybe through his spying, he had been aware of the plans of the breakout in Azkaban.

Dumbledore inhaled sharply, then folded his long fingers together and set them down on his desk. He started at Harry with his twinkling, yet fierce, blue eyes. "Harry, I know that tonight has been quite an adventure for you. I know that there are endless questions in your mind. However, we need you to answer our questions before we can answer any of yours. You must tell us what you saw."

Harry gulped. He had become quite used to recording any of his dreams in the Diary Duplicator. It was a lot different trying to recall broken images to write on a page than telling them to ears that were anxious to hear. But it felt different to him this time. This time he didn't see broken images. He could recall everything about the vision in detail. It had been clearer than the first vision he'd had of the attack on Mr. Weasley last year.

"I remember," he began, "I remember the whole thing. I was there. I was at Azkaban. I've never seen the fortress before, but I know that's where I was. I was a snake again, like last year.

Harry glanced up. Snape winced at the sound of his name. He continued with a renewed sense of distress. "There was death everywhere. I could sense it. I could smell it. And then I could hear her laughing."

"Who?" Dumbledore questioned, as though he already knew the answer.

"Bellatrix Lestrange," Harry spat. Her name caused fury to grow inside of him. "She came over and picked me up and I coiled all around her neck so that I could feel her heartbeat."

McGonagall and Tonks exchanged worried glances. Harry pretended not to notice. "I could communicate with her. She would talk to me and we could understand each other. I said for her to kill them all. No, I said for the others to kill them all. I told her to save her strength."

"Others?" Snape interrupted. Dumbledore held up a hand to silence him.

"She said she was going to save her strength for her." Harry tried not to look at Tonks. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to know that she was the one who had put Bellatrix back in Azkaban over the summer. He only knew she was the one because he'd been spying on her and Remus earlier that night. "And then someone else came forward to do the killing. It was Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy."

If it was possible, Snape's face somehow grew even paler. He turned to look at Dumbledore, but the headmaster was still patiently studying Harry. "And how did it end, Harry? Did he sense you?"

Harry thought back to when he had awakened from the vision. It had all happened so fast, it was a little fuzzy. First Malfoy killed, and then he could feel Tonks's hands wrapped around his wrists as he reached for his scar. "No... No, he didn't know I was there. The only reason I woke up from the vision was because Tonks was shaking me."

All eyes were on Tonks as she looked sheepishly to the floor. "I guess my cover's been blown," she said quietly. "I found Harry on the floor. He was thrashing around. I didn't know what to do."

"It's fine," Dumbledore said. "You did the right thing, Tonks." He took a deep breath and sat up in his chair. "Please escort Harry to the Hospital Wing, where he is to spend the rest of the day sleeping. He has had a very long day and an even longer night." Dumbledore peered over the desk at him with suspicious eyes. "I'm afraid your questions will have to wait for another day, Harry."

Harry nodded. That meant his punishment would have to wait for another day. "Yes, sir." He stood gingerly on his feet and slowly made his way to the door with Tonks's help. Sleep had never sounded so good to him.

"Minerva, kindly alert the Ministry that Azkaban Fortress has been under attack and the captured Death Eaters have broken free." McGonagall nodded and quickly left Dumbledore's office.

Harry expected to overhear Dumbledore give some instructions to Snape, but just as Tonks shut the door, he heard Dumbledore's powerful voice. "You and I have much to discuss, Severus."

Harry slept until well past noon that day. When he finally woke up Madam Pomfrey was at lunch. He quickly got up from the bed and made his way from the deserted hospital wing back to Gryffindor Tower.

As he climbed the stairs, he couldn't help but notice how eerie Hogwarts felt. Was it because he had finally let go of all the emotions he'd been holding inside? Was it because it was hard to feel at home there anymore? Was it just him?

But even the Fat Lady was humble. "Billywig bile," Harry mumbled. The portrait opened and Harry stepped inside.

The common room was quite full and all eyes were on Harry as he quickly walked toward the boy's dormitory. However, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Seamus were sharing a table and Hermione was on her feet to greet him in a flash.

"Harry! Where have you been? We've been so worried!"

"Worried?" Harry questioned.

"When we couldn't find you this morning, we just assumed the worst. Especially after what happened."

"What happened?"

Ginny held up a copy of The Daily Prophet. There was a picture of Azkaban Fortress on the front page. "The Azkaban Breakout."

"Oh, right." Harry cleared his throat.

"You mean you didn't hear about it?" Seamus questioned.

"I did more than that," Harry muttered. He sighed, feeling his exhaustion returning. Seamus raised an eyebrow at him, confused. "I... I was just... I had an early morning Remedial Potions lesson."

"Snape never gives you a break, does he?" Seamus laughed.

"No," Harry said. "He certainly doesn't. I'm going to go up and take a nap before supper."

He turned away from his friends' worried faces and dashed up the stairs. If he didn't sleep, at least maybe he could have a moment to himself so he could get some actual studying done - or better yet, his Muggle Studies essay.

He had just climbed into his four-poster when the door into the boys' dormitory opened and shut. Harry glanced up and saw Ron come inside, The Daily Prophet in hand. He threw it down on the foot of Harry's bed.

"Look, Ron, I've had a long day. I don't want to get into anything with you..." Harry began.

"You saw it, didn't you?" Ron interrupted. "You saw the whole thing."

Harry sighed. "Pretty much."

"The Ministry said no survivors," Ron said. "All the Death Eaters. Gone. The other prisoners. The workers. All killed."

Harry could still smell the stench of death. He shivered. "Murdered."

Ron plopped down on the bed across from him and held his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Harry, but there's no easy way to say this."

"Ron..."

"I've decided to drop you from the team. I just forget how much you have on your plate sometimes. I'm so narcoleptic."

Harry sighed. "Narcissistic?"

"Right." Harry could see that Ron felt terrible. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked as though he hadn't had much sleep either. His face was paler than usual. "I'm really sorry. "

As Harry sat in Defence Against the Dark Arts the next afternoon, he watched Tonks teach the class with an ease that she had only developed in the past few months. She was past her clumsiness - though she still had a few mishaps - and seemed to be enjoying herself.

There were a few things bothering him. How did she know where to find him after he'd had his vision? How did she know that he was in trouble? There was only one thing he knew for sure: he was under closer surveillance than he realised.

But the thing that made his skin crawl the most was the smugness he saw in Malfoy. He did not hide his cheerfulness at the escape of his father. He even had the nerve to come up to Harry before class and say, "At least it only took my father a few months to escape." Harry's blood had been boiling ever since. Not to mention that he was extra arrogant because of his capture of the Snitch.

The bell rang and most of the students quickly bolted out of the classroom. Harry, however, took his time in gathering his things. Perhaps he'd ask Tonks a few questions before he left.

"Harry, may I see you in my office, please?"

"Yes, Professor." Ron glanced at Harry, but he pretended not to notice. He quickly picked up his books and followed Tonks into her office.

As soon as he stepped inside the door, someone spoke.

"Harry, how are things?"

He smiled at Harry, but his eyes were serious. He looked a bit pale.

"Remus? What are you doing here?"

"Remus is going to take you to a special, er, meeting," Tonks said. "In light of recent events, some things are going to change."

Remus interrupted. "So, what's been happening? How's the quidditch going?"

Harry looked down to the floor. "Ron and I were arguing. He's dropped me from the team. Not to mention that Malfoy caught the Snitch yesterday in the Quidditch Match."

Harry didn't feel it was right to tell Lupin about Luna yet.

"What?" Harry could feel Remus's eyes on him, but he didn't have the heart to look up. He didn't want to see his pity.

"I don't know how he did it, but he beat me to it. Fair and square.. And I had Occlumency with Snape, which was a complete disaster."

"It was?"

Harry shrugged. "Sort of."

"How did Tonks find me?" Harry interrupted.

Remus shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Well, Harry, as long as we're being honest with each other..." He cleared his throat. "There's something I didn't tell you about the Moon Guide."

"Which is?"

"It works both ways. You can see me when you look into your half. When I look into mine, I can see you." Looking older than usual, he sat down on the edge of Tonks's desk. He winced, as though his back hurt. "My main assignment from the Order has been to keep an eye on you."

Harry took a step towards him. "What you're really saying is that it was your job to spy on me."

Remus nodded. "It was for your own good, Harry." Harry was fuming, but before he could say anything, Remus held up his hands to silence him. "Look, it really did feel like spying. That's why I didn't do it as often as I should have. It's one thing for me to give you permission to check up on me, however when the tables are turned it's a different story."

"Did Dumbledore put you up to this?" Harry questioned.

"Quite the contrary. It was Molly."

"Mrs. Weasley?" Now Harry was really confused. "But why would she care?" And as soon as he had asked the question, Harry realised how silly it was. His name was on the clock, wasn't it? He was an honorary member of the Weasley family. Mrs. Weasley would do anything to protect her family.

"Well, I happened to be with Tonks when I checked up on you yesterday morning" Remus continued

"Why?" Harry asked. How could Remus have gone to him if he was hundreds of miles away in his cabin?

"That's not important," Remus said quickly. "I sent Tonks after you, while I alerted Dumbledore."

He glanced at the clock on the mantle of the fireplace in the office. "I'd better get going, Harry, they are expecting me. Look after yourself. You know where I am if you need me"

There was a knock on the door and Mr. Weasley quickly rushed over and opened it. "Remus, Come in, come in." he said jovially.

Remus looked awful. Much worse than anyone ever remembered him. His eyes were clouded, and there were dark circles beneath them. He looked thinner, but somehow, wilder. He was more anxious than exhausted. His hands shook - almost unnoticeably - as he unbuttoned his thick down jacket.

"Hello," he said with a smile. "I apologise, Molly. I'll only be able to stay for a quick dinner. Full moon's tonight."

"It's rotten luck," Remus continued, "that it falls today."

"It's all right," Mrs Weasley replied, managing a grin. "I'm just glad you're here now."

The three of them made their way into the lounge where Dumbledore, Tonks & Snape were waiting.

"Welcome Remus" said Dumbledore getting to his feet. Remus took his seat at the table, opposite Tonks.

"As everyone's here, we may as well begin" continued Dumbledore. "Remus & Tonks, could you tell us how Harry Potter is getting on?"

Lupin looked at the table for a moment before he spoke. "His moods are up and down, depending on the day. He's worse than we expected. I'm concerned that he's going to do something stupid"

"Like?" asked Mrs Weasley

"I've heard that he's very pre-occupied with Sirius"

"And, he's in a right state about that prophecy" added Tonks. "It probably won't be long before he boils over"

"That's not going to be good" said Mr Weasley, removing his glasses and wiping them on a cloth.

All the time the discussion was going, Snape stared at the far wall.

"Thank you Remus" said Dumbledore once Lupin had finished his report.

"I have made an error of judgement" began Dumbledore gravely. "I have omitted an important part of the magical community from my plans. I am referring to the house elves."

"Hermione Granger would be a useful contributor to that discussion" said Tonks "she has attempted to bring the plight of the house elves enslavement to the attention of the general public as well as the Ministry."

"She, err, believes" said Snape, enjoying stressing the word "that all the elves should be freed, and given proper wages and benefits. It is of course nonsense, and likely to be counter productive to our cause."

"We shall see" said Dumbledore, with a touch of impatience in his voice.