The song in this chapter is called "My Immortal" by Evanescence.
Rachel set the plastic on her cot. She grabbed her hair tie and tied her hair high up into a messy tight ponytail. Then she followed Squid into the Wreck Room where there were 3 pool tables, each one was occupied with campers playing competitive games.
The large CD player in the Wreck Room, boomed loud hard rock music, which Rachel doesn't care for anymore, since she's already angry inside, and especially from what happened moments earlier.
"You ready Squid?" X-Ray asked, clearly annoyed. Rachel took the hint, and realized that the 'guys' didn't send Squid over to ask her to play pool, they wouldn't care either way.
"Yeah I'm ready." Rachel answered strongly, her hands on her hips, cutting off Squid. X-Ray just smirked.
They started playing the game, Squid and Rachel on one team…since nobody else wanted her on their team because she was a girl, and X-Ray was on Armpit's team.
"You better be ready to get your ss kicked." X-Ray noted.
"Rachel!" A voice called her from the other room. It was Cate!
"Caitlyn? What happened to you?" Rachel asked, with a smile.
"Mr. Sir kept me from digging today, I have no idea why. He said something about too many girls out there on the lake belonging to only one tent. I think it had something to do with The Warden and her stupid complaints. He also said that more girls are going to be arriving soon." Caitlyn explained.
Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Typical." she said.
Cate laughed. "Yeah, that's right. Anyway, you gonna play a game? Whose team are you on?"
"I'm on Squid's, against X-Ray and Armpit." Rachel answered.
"Aww ok, so if I get on your team, it won't be even will it…?" Cate said.
"Unless someone else wants to play." Squid said.
"I'll play." Zigzag said from the couch, who, previously, had been staring at a no good TV set, "Nothing good is on anyway." he added.
"Wait a sec, where's Courtney?" Cate asked.
Rachel pointed at the corner of the Wreck Room, where Courtney was in deep in conversation with Magnet. Cate turned her head back to Rachel and smiled a flirtatious smile, meaning that Court is 'in love' again. Rachel smiled with a small chuckle.
"Are we ready to play?" X-Ray asked, holding his hand up in the air, the other holding his cue stick tightly.
"Yeah, just having a little girl conversation while you were waiting so very patiently," Rachel said, and then added, "wouldn't interest you much."
Squid and Cate chuckled.
"Let's play." Rachel said.
Everyone got their cue and finally started the pool game that X-Ray and Armpit had been waiting for with much anticipation. With Squid, Cate, and Rachel on one team, and Armpit, X-Ray, and Zigzag on the other.
"So, who made up yall's nicknames?" Cate asked, trying to make a good conversation besides the competitive remarks that the campers shared.
"Mainly just me, I figure out what they do and link it to a good nickname." X-Ray said proudly. Too proudly.
"Oh so how did you come up with the name 'Zero' then? Doesn't sound like anyone besides you would fit that description." Rachel said with much confidence. Cate and Squid lowered their cue sticks and watched as X-Ray and Rachel led a conversation, each time getting more and more clever.
X-Ray glared. "You know man, I'm gettin' mighty sick of your shit." he said.
"I'm sure Hector is mighty sick of yours." Rachel said, looking over to where Zero was sitting in the corner alone, watching the game. His eyes filled with warmth when she looked over.
X-Ray used his cue to tap Zero's foot, "Looks like you got yourself a girlfriend, Zero."
Instantly, Zero's face tightened up, and Squid noticed….so did Rachel's.
"You just need to get a fcking life!" Rachel screamed at the top of her lungs.
"Hopefully I do because I wouldn't want to turn out like your brother." X-Ray said, again…proud of his comeback.
Rachel's breathe skipped, and she started to breathe heavily. She felt dizzy as she stared into X-Ray's proud face, with Armpit right next to him, starring at her with his arms folded.
"Why the hll did you have to bring that up??" Squid yelled, throwing down his cue stick, confronting X-Ray.
Cate grabbed Squid's elbow and said, "No fights, that would make it worse for Rachel."
Rachel remembered Joshua's cold face at his burial; her only brother's death had haunted her all her life. And she remembered how her father had been absent at his funeral, with Rachel and her mother in tears. All her life since Josh's death had been different, she felt him there with her. And if he had to die, she wished that she could just get over it.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my, childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd, wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd, fight away all of your fears
I held your, hand through all of these years
But you still have…
All of me
Slowly, huge teardrops started streaming down Rachel's clean smooth face. The music and the voices had disappeared. She couldn't hear, all she heard was the beating of her heart, quickening with every thought she had. All she could see was Armpit and X-Ray still standing strong, Zigzag had left to go watch TV, and Squid yelling and Cate holding him back. No sound. No dialogue. She felt frozen, she couldn't move.
Suddenly she heard the last words of her brother's voice, the voice that Rachel had a longing to hear….
FLASHBACK
Rachel looked out the window to see Joshua tossing a baseball up in the air and catching in his glove.
"What're you doing Josh!?" Rachel called.
"I'm waitin' for Charlie and Owen to get here!" he answered, his southern accent clear as ever.
"Alright but if Dad comes home, sneak in the back!" Rachel yelled out, making sure that Joshua would be safe.
"I know! Oh, they're here! I'll be back tonight. I love you Rachel." he said.
END
I love you Rachel…Rachel…Rachel……I love you.
It echoed inside Rachel's head. That night when Josh came home, their father decided to try out his drugs with Josh, to see the affect. Rachel went out to get the mail while her mother was out getting groceries, when she came back to see a different Josh. That was all the time Rachel's father needed to overdose Josh. His face had been sunken and his eyes looked cold. 10 minutes later, Joshua died.
Rachel had always thought that she could've saved him. But a chain of events happened that made it impossible to have a chance to keep him alive. Ever since then, Rachel had always blamed herself for her only brother's death.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Rachel started to lean over, she felt sick, and she put her hand on the side of the pool table. Zero got up and walked over to her, but just as that happened…she instantly felt well again.
She just got over the shock of hearing somebody speak of her brother's death in that way, and now the anger and pain came. Tears started pouring out of Rachel's eyes uncontrollably and she felt like she was going to burst if she didn't get energy out or scream. So she whipped herself around and ran out of the Wreck Room with Cate and Squid calling after her. Everyone else in the Wreck Room stopped what they were doing to run over to the window or door and watch Rachel.
"Do you what you did?? You're a complete creep who doesn't care about ANYBODY!!" Squid started having a fit, along with Cate, who no longer tried to hold Squid back. This time, Squid was running after Rachel, with Cate close behind him. It's amazing how those two people can care for Rachel so much just over 3 weeks' time. Was she really that obvious about how she needed someone's love?
Rachel ran and looked around her like she had no clue where she was. Joshua was feet from her, calling her, needing her help. She was running, but not very fast…tripping and falling every so often. It was killing her that she couldn't reach Josh. Every step she took he got further and further away, drifting in the heat of the horizon. She stopped, out of breath, and collapsed.
She sobbed, feeling the pain not only of her brother's death, but of her mother's also. Dirt and sand was getting in her mouth, she coughed, breathing it in her nose.
Instantly she felt someone at her side…but things were going in slow motion to her now. It was Squid, who grabbed her shoulder and turned her over, lifting her head up from the dirt. Cate sat down and put Rachel's head on her lap.
"Rachel! Rachel!" Squid tried to wake her from her dreaming, but she was awake.
"No! Let go of me." she said, "it's Joshua."
"What?" Cate said.
"Look," Rachel pointed, "it's him…he…I…let me go, I can save him! I won't let him die this time…." her voice trailed off as her eyes moved to the side, where Squid was sitting, and her eyes slowly closed.
"Oh God." Squid said.
"I knew she was hurting but, I didn't know it was this bad! She must not have gotten the care that she needed when her brother died. She was alone." Cate said.
Squid's ear was by Rachel's mouth.
"She's breathing." he said. He picked up Rachel, with Cate by his side, and started carrying her back to camp.
Rachel set the plastic on her cot. She grabbed her hair tie and tied her hair high up into a messy tight ponytail. Then she followed Squid into the Wreck Room where there were 3 pool tables, each one was occupied with campers playing competitive games.
The large CD player in the Wreck Room, boomed loud hard rock music, which Rachel doesn't care for anymore, since she's already angry inside, and especially from what happened moments earlier.
"You ready Squid?" X-Ray asked, clearly annoyed. Rachel took the hint, and realized that the 'guys' didn't send Squid over to ask her to play pool, they wouldn't care either way.
"Yeah I'm ready." Rachel answered strongly, her hands on her hips, cutting off Squid. X-Ray just smirked.
They started playing the game, Squid and Rachel on one team…since nobody else wanted her on their team because she was a girl, and X-Ray was on Armpit's team.
"You better be ready to get your ss kicked." X-Ray noted.
"Rachel!" A voice called her from the other room. It was Cate!
"Caitlyn? What happened to you?" Rachel asked, with a smile.
"Mr. Sir kept me from digging today, I have no idea why. He said something about too many girls out there on the lake belonging to only one tent. I think it had something to do with The Warden and her stupid complaints. He also said that more girls are going to be arriving soon." Caitlyn explained.
Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Typical." she said.
Cate laughed. "Yeah, that's right. Anyway, you gonna play a game? Whose team are you on?"
"I'm on Squid's, against X-Ray and Armpit." Rachel answered.
"Aww ok, so if I get on your team, it won't be even will it…?" Cate said.
"Unless someone else wants to play." Squid said.
"I'll play." Zigzag said from the couch, who, previously, had been staring at a no good TV set, "Nothing good is on anyway." he added.
"Wait a sec, where's Courtney?" Cate asked.
Rachel pointed at the corner of the Wreck Room, where Courtney was in deep in conversation with Magnet. Cate turned her head back to Rachel and smiled a flirtatious smile, meaning that Court is 'in love' again. Rachel smiled with a small chuckle.
"Are we ready to play?" X-Ray asked, holding his hand up in the air, the other holding his cue stick tightly.
"Yeah, just having a little girl conversation while you were waiting so very patiently," Rachel said, and then added, "wouldn't interest you much."
Squid and Cate chuckled.
"Let's play." Rachel said.
Everyone got their cue and finally started the pool game that X-Ray and Armpit had been waiting for with much anticipation. With Squid, Cate, and Rachel on one team, and Armpit, X-Ray, and Zigzag on the other.
"So, who made up yall's nicknames?" Cate asked, trying to make a good conversation besides the competitive remarks that the campers shared.
"Mainly just me, I figure out what they do and link it to a good nickname." X-Ray said proudly. Too proudly.
"Oh so how did you come up with the name 'Zero' then? Doesn't sound like anyone besides you would fit that description." Rachel said with much confidence. Cate and Squid lowered their cue sticks and watched as X-Ray and Rachel led a conversation, each time getting more and more clever.
X-Ray glared. "You know man, I'm gettin' mighty sick of your shit." he said.
"I'm sure Hector is mighty sick of yours." Rachel said, looking over to where Zero was sitting in the corner alone, watching the game. His eyes filled with warmth when she looked over.
X-Ray used his cue to tap Zero's foot, "Looks like you got yourself a girlfriend, Zero."
Instantly, Zero's face tightened up, and Squid noticed….so did Rachel's.
"You just need to get a fcking life!" Rachel screamed at the top of her lungs.
"Hopefully I do because I wouldn't want to turn out like your brother." X-Ray said, again…proud of his comeback.
Rachel's breathe skipped, and she started to breathe heavily. She felt dizzy as she stared into X-Ray's proud face, with Armpit right next to him, starring at her with his arms folded.
"Why the hll did you have to bring that up??" Squid yelled, throwing down his cue stick, confronting X-Ray.
Cate grabbed Squid's elbow and said, "No fights, that would make it worse for Rachel."
Rachel remembered Joshua's cold face at his burial; her only brother's death had haunted her all her life. And she remembered how her father had been absent at his funeral, with Rachel and her mother in tears. All her life since Josh's death had been different, she felt him there with her. And if he had to die, she wished that she could just get over it.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my, childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd, wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd, fight away all of your fears
I held your, hand through all of these years
But you still have…
All of me
Slowly, huge teardrops started streaming down Rachel's clean smooth face. The music and the voices had disappeared. She couldn't hear, all she heard was the beating of her heart, quickening with every thought she had. All she could see was Armpit and X-Ray still standing strong, Zigzag had left to go watch TV, and Squid yelling and Cate holding him back. No sound. No dialogue. She felt frozen, she couldn't move.
Suddenly she heard the last words of her brother's voice, the voice that Rachel had a longing to hear….
FLASHBACK
Rachel looked out the window to see Joshua tossing a baseball up in the air and catching in his glove.
"What're you doing Josh!?" Rachel called.
"I'm waitin' for Charlie and Owen to get here!" he answered, his southern accent clear as ever.
"Alright but if Dad comes home, sneak in the back!" Rachel yelled out, making sure that Joshua would be safe.
"I know! Oh, they're here! I'll be back tonight. I love you Rachel." he said.
END
I love you Rachel…Rachel…Rachel……I love you.
It echoed inside Rachel's head. That night when Josh came home, their father decided to try out his drugs with Josh, to see the affect. Rachel went out to get the mail while her mother was out getting groceries, when she came back to see a different Josh. That was all the time Rachel's father needed to overdose Josh. His face had been sunken and his eyes looked cold. 10 minutes later, Joshua died.
Rachel had always thought that she could've saved him. But a chain of events happened that made it impossible to have a chance to keep him alive. Ever since then, Rachel had always blamed herself for her only brother's death.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Rachel started to lean over, she felt sick, and she put her hand on the side of the pool table. Zero got up and walked over to her, but just as that happened…she instantly felt well again.
She just got over the shock of hearing somebody speak of her brother's death in that way, and now the anger and pain came. Tears started pouring out of Rachel's eyes uncontrollably and she felt like she was going to burst if she didn't get energy out or scream. So she whipped herself around and ran out of the Wreck Room with Cate and Squid calling after her. Everyone else in the Wreck Room stopped what they were doing to run over to the window or door and watch Rachel.
"Do you what you did?? You're a complete creep who doesn't care about ANYBODY!!" Squid started having a fit, along with Cate, who no longer tried to hold Squid back. This time, Squid was running after Rachel, with Cate close behind him. It's amazing how those two people can care for Rachel so much just over 3 weeks' time. Was she really that obvious about how she needed someone's love?
Rachel ran and looked around her like she had no clue where she was. Joshua was feet from her, calling her, needing her help. She was running, but not very fast…tripping and falling every so often. It was killing her that she couldn't reach Josh. Every step she took he got further and further away, drifting in the heat of the horizon. She stopped, out of breath, and collapsed.
She sobbed, feeling the pain not only of her brother's death, but of her mother's also. Dirt and sand was getting in her mouth, she coughed, breathing it in her nose.
Instantly she felt someone at her side…but things were going in slow motion to her now. It was Squid, who grabbed her shoulder and turned her over, lifting her head up from the dirt. Cate sat down and put Rachel's head on her lap.
"Rachel! Rachel!" Squid tried to wake her from her dreaming, but she was awake.
"No! Let go of me." she said, "it's Joshua."
"What?" Cate said.
"Look," Rachel pointed, "it's him…he…I…let me go, I can save him! I won't let him die this time…." her voice trailed off as her eyes moved to the side, where Squid was sitting, and her eyes slowly closed.
"Oh God." Squid said.
"I knew she was hurting but, I didn't know it was this bad! She must not have gotten the care that she needed when her brother died. She was alone." Cate said.
Squid's ear was by Rachel's mouth.
"She's breathing." he said. He picked up Rachel, with Cate by his side, and started carrying her back to camp.