There must've been a lot of secret crushes or blossoming love
relationships that Rachel didn't know about. Due to the fact that a lot
of the girls and guys have paired up already. Over on two cots were
Caveman and Zero, deep into conversation with Honey and Babygirl.
Knowing him, Zero hardly ever said anything, especially now since he
secretly admires Babygirl. But he sometimes flashes a sweet smile and
blushes ever so often.
Rachel already knew that Zigzag and Cate like each other. They always hung out wherever they went. Cate was one of the only people that didn't think he was weird for being paranoid. Personally, she thought it was cute. The biggest advantage was that they became great friends first, which mattered the most to them.
Lucki and Magnet would always flirt. From the very start, Lucki picked out her guy whether the others liked it or not. And this time it happened to be the animal-lover with a cute Mexican accent. Priceless to Lucki. They sat two cots away from Rachel…Lucki safe in Magnet's warm arms as they continued to chat with Shorty and X-Ray. Now Shorty and X-Ray, that's a complete different story.
Shorty had never been the type to go crazy over boys, or the flirty type. She can't even remember the last time she wore a dress. Not to mention, makeup. She will never be seen with anything pink or girly like. She always considered herself one of the guys, and always got along with them. So dating or having a boyfriend was out of the question right now. And X-Ray couldn't accept that. He really did like her. They both sat with their elbows on their knees and they intently listened and talked with Lucki and Magnet.
Even Armpit had a girl to call his own, for once. Since Banana was so warm-hearted and nice, she saw the heart of the person she met. Even though he stunk and may have a bad attitude at times, Banana saw the good in him. And that was good enough for her. Armpit was just a big teddy bear that needed someone to hug. And to his luck, Banana had found him. They didn't talk much that night, they just watched and listened to everybody's conversations, sitting 3 cots away from Lucki and Magnet.
Now with Strings, it's completely different. She felt a little excluded from the rest. Not only because she didn't have a guy to flirt with or to swoon over, but also because of her past. Everyone here seemed to not be held back by their pasts, which were haunting. But Strings was very well aware of how hard Rachel's past must be for her. But that didn't comfort her. It made her feel less alone, but it gave her no comfort. She just sat on her cot in the very corner of the tent, watching everyone from the shadows. She looked very mysterious to Rachel, like she had something that she wanted to say, or something that she was hiding. Rachel looked at Squid who was sitting right across from Rachel's cot, and spoke to him through her eyes. He nodded. At that, Rachel got up from her own cot and walked over to Strings'.
"Hey, what's up Strings?" Rachel asked, lightly hitting the side of Strings' leg with her hand, as she sat down next to her.
"Oh, nothing much really." Strings answered, "I'm just…." she paused.
Rachel looked at her, "Strings. If you have something to say, your secret's safe with me."
Strings looked pained, "I uh…I know that I can talk to you and not worry about what you'll think of me. I know that something haunts you about your past. And I guess, well, I can sort of relate to that."
Rachel nodded.
"I saw you and Squid last night, when he pulled you away from suicide." Strings said quickly. Relief swept over her as she sighed. She finally had let it out and told her.
Rachel nodded once more, but couldn't find words.
"I won't tell anyone." Strings said, looking down.
"I know you won't." Rachel said with a small smile.
A tear streamed down Strings' face.
"I just…" she cried, "I can't handle this anymore Rachel!" More tears poured from her face with a look of desperation.
"Come here sweetie." Rachel said as she pulled her into a hug. Then Strings followed her out of the tent so they could be alone.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" Rachel asked once they got outside, putting her hands on Strings' shoulders.
She nodded.
"Okay, I'm listening." Rachel said.
Strings then began to tell her story of how her parents had gotten a divorce when she was 13 years old. Her mother had still been an alcoholic and a smoker when Strings had gotten sent to Camp Green Lake. She hasn't gotten any letters since, and for all she knows…her mother could be dead somewhere and she would never know.
"I would always get teased and beat up at school. Even the other kids that got teased would tease me. I don't know, it was like I was the low-life at school." Strings said.
Rachel hugged her, "You don't have to tell me anymore, if you don't want. I pretty much know it. How awful you feel here at camp now."
Strings nodded.
"Does anyone else know this, besides me?" Rachel asked.
"No. It's always been my secret." Strings said.
"Okay." Rachel said, "Let's go back inside and be ourselves. Without any worry, without any pain. Let's just have fun and talk with everyone else."
Strings smiled.
Rachel couldn't help but think that what she just said to Strings, was exactly what Rachel had needed to hear when she was on the brink of suicide. Someone needed to tell her that. Strings walked into the tent, but Rachel stood there, right in the entrance. Someone had told her. Only not in words. Rachel's stomach did flips as she finally felt loved, not only at home, but someone here cares for her. And she knew very well who that was.
Rachel entered G-Tent and looked around at everyone. They were all still seated on their original cots and talking. Strings sat down on her cot with Courtney as they whispered together and giggled at the other campers. Rachel smiled and sat down on her own cot.
Squid walked over to Rachel and sat on her cot, taking her by surprise.
"Oh! I didn't see you coming." Rachel said.
"I know darling, zat iz why people call me myzteriouz." Squid said, imitating the French accent.
Rachel giggled, "What'd ya want?"
Squid shook his head, "I don't know."
"What'd you mean you don't know?" Rachel said sternly, with a stubborn look on her face. Squid knew she was being sarcastic.
"I guess…I just wanted to see you." he said.
"Mm?" Rachel murmured.
After some silence and a lot of starring, Rachel just couldn't stand it anymore.
"Squid." she said.
"What?" Squid said.
"I feel like…well, I feel like we need to talk about the other night." Rachel said.
"Okay. Why?"
"I don't know. Because I just feel strange about it all, I guess."
"Alright." Squid said, looking deep into her eyes. Rachel's stomach did cartwheels.
"Listen. I--" she paused, "I want you to know that I have never…ever….had thoughts like I did that night. I mean everything with my father still being alive and-and….Carla storming in here and ruining everything, and how I'm being treated around here. It's just all crazy! This isn't reality, what is wrong with these people?!"
Squid didn't answer.
"I know I shouldn't complain but --"
Squid cut her off, "Listen Rachel…you don't have to explain yourself. I understand. Don't pressure yourself to tell me your life-story and don't worry yourself over the past anymore. Let it go." Squid said.
Rachel nodded quickly in short movements, "I just don't know if I can." she said, looking down, "It's a big step for me. I know I sound like a baby. But I'm really attached to my past. I hate it, but I love it too. I just don't know if I can let it go."
"Of course you can. If you're the fiery-strong girl that arrived at Camp Green Lake two months ago, that I, myself, argued and fought with directly…" Rachel chuckled, "Than you can overcome anything." Squid said.
"I don't know, it's just not that simple. Something very important and close to me, well, a lot of things, I feel are holding me back."
"What things?" Squid asked her.
"It's kind of a-- well, it's a secret. I know it sounds stupid. But my meaning for 'secret' is a lot different than what most people use the word for. Mine's deep, and it hurts. Not just my father or Carla. It's something else."
"What is it Rachel? You can tell me."
Rachel sighed.
"Rachel."
"What?" she asked painfully.
"I care about you." Squid said.
"I--" Rachel stammered.
"I do. And I want you to know that. I want you to feel at peace with your past. I feel like I've known you all my life, or that we were meant to meet each other."
Rachel couldn't believe what he was saying. And she couldn't believe that she was thinking either. He's crazy to say that, yet it's great that he's being straight out. She felt vulnerable, but herself, around Squid. But she hesitated in her mind, from the question he asked her. She….didn't. She didn't love him. She couldn't.
"It just --" Rachel couldn't find the words to say, she was all choked up, "I…really do appreciate that, Squid. But I can't go into a relationship now. I just…can't. I don't want to, and I can't. My past isn't letting me, and thinking about being with you just…" Rachel put her head down. "Hurts." she said.
Squid didn't look at her.
"There's someone….else." Rachel admitted.
Before Squid could say anything or look at her, Armpit budded it and said, "Hey y'all Mr. P wants us to go back to the tents."
Rachel and Squid broke their stare at one another and looked at Armpit. Rachel nodded. They gave each other one last glance, as did the rest of the girls with their new crushes, and all of the D-Tent campers waved and gave their goodbyes.
"Don't worry about it, Rachel. I'll see you tomorrow." he said quickly, and walked out of the tent faster than Rachel could comprehend what he had said.
From Squid's point of view: Song for this chapter….
"Run To Me" by Clay Aiken
Don't, you don't have to save my life
No, you're not ready I can feel it
Outside it's raining, but I'll just go home
Someday your heart will just let him go
As soon as you get that feeling
You can start to live again
As soon as the worst is over
You can make it all make sense
Right now I can't give you what you need
As soon as you get that feeling... run to me
Hush, you don't have to say a word
Trust, I'm not going to hate you for it
Feels like my touch only brings back the pain
Someday those memories will fade away
As soon as you get that feeling
You can start to live again
As soon as the worst is over
You can make it all make sense
Right now I can't give you what you need
As soon as you get that feeling... run to me
How can I be brave enough to say good-bye
I'd die inside without you, ohhh
Can't you see it's hard enough to walk away
Don't look at me, you make me wrong,
I've been through this to make me strong
As soon as you get that feeling
You can start to live again, oh
As soon as the worst is over
You can make it all make sense
Right now I can't give you what you need
As soon as you get that feeling,
As soon as you get that feeling… run to me
Rachel already knew that Zigzag and Cate like each other. They always hung out wherever they went. Cate was one of the only people that didn't think he was weird for being paranoid. Personally, she thought it was cute. The biggest advantage was that they became great friends first, which mattered the most to them.
Lucki and Magnet would always flirt. From the very start, Lucki picked out her guy whether the others liked it or not. And this time it happened to be the animal-lover with a cute Mexican accent. Priceless to Lucki. They sat two cots away from Rachel…Lucki safe in Magnet's warm arms as they continued to chat with Shorty and X-Ray. Now Shorty and X-Ray, that's a complete different story.
Shorty had never been the type to go crazy over boys, or the flirty type. She can't even remember the last time she wore a dress. Not to mention, makeup. She will never be seen with anything pink or girly like. She always considered herself one of the guys, and always got along with them. So dating or having a boyfriend was out of the question right now. And X-Ray couldn't accept that. He really did like her. They both sat with their elbows on their knees and they intently listened and talked with Lucki and Magnet.
Even Armpit had a girl to call his own, for once. Since Banana was so warm-hearted and nice, she saw the heart of the person she met. Even though he stunk and may have a bad attitude at times, Banana saw the good in him. And that was good enough for her. Armpit was just a big teddy bear that needed someone to hug. And to his luck, Banana had found him. They didn't talk much that night, they just watched and listened to everybody's conversations, sitting 3 cots away from Lucki and Magnet.
Now with Strings, it's completely different. She felt a little excluded from the rest. Not only because she didn't have a guy to flirt with or to swoon over, but also because of her past. Everyone here seemed to not be held back by their pasts, which were haunting. But Strings was very well aware of how hard Rachel's past must be for her. But that didn't comfort her. It made her feel less alone, but it gave her no comfort. She just sat on her cot in the very corner of the tent, watching everyone from the shadows. She looked very mysterious to Rachel, like she had something that she wanted to say, or something that she was hiding. Rachel looked at Squid who was sitting right across from Rachel's cot, and spoke to him through her eyes. He nodded. At that, Rachel got up from her own cot and walked over to Strings'.
"Hey, what's up Strings?" Rachel asked, lightly hitting the side of Strings' leg with her hand, as she sat down next to her.
"Oh, nothing much really." Strings answered, "I'm just…." she paused.
Rachel looked at her, "Strings. If you have something to say, your secret's safe with me."
Strings looked pained, "I uh…I know that I can talk to you and not worry about what you'll think of me. I know that something haunts you about your past. And I guess, well, I can sort of relate to that."
Rachel nodded.
"I saw you and Squid last night, when he pulled you away from suicide." Strings said quickly. Relief swept over her as she sighed. She finally had let it out and told her.
Rachel nodded once more, but couldn't find words.
"I won't tell anyone." Strings said, looking down.
"I know you won't." Rachel said with a small smile.
A tear streamed down Strings' face.
"I just…" she cried, "I can't handle this anymore Rachel!" More tears poured from her face with a look of desperation.
"Come here sweetie." Rachel said as she pulled her into a hug. Then Strings followed her out of the tent so they could be alone.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" Rachel asked once they got outside, putting her hands on Strings' shoulders.
She nodded.
"Okay, I'm listening." Rachel said.
Strings then began to tell her story of how her parents had gotten a divorce when she was 13 years old. Her mother had still been an alcoholic and a smoker when Strings had gotten sent to Camp Green Lake. She hasn't gotten any letters since, and for all she knows…her mother could be dead somewhere and she would never know.
"I would always get teased and beat up at school. Even the other kids that got teased would tease me. I don't know, it was like I was the low-life at school." Strings said.
Rachel hugged her, "You don't have to tell me anymore, if you don't want. I pretty much know it. How awful you feel here at camp now."
Strings nodded.
"Does anyone else know this, besides me?" Rachel asked.
"No. It's always been my secret." Strings said.
"Okay." Rachel said, "Let's go back inside and be ourselves. Without any worry, without any pain. Let's just have fun and talk with everyone else."
Strings smiled.
Rachel couldn't help but think that what she just said to Strings, was exactly what Rachel had needed to hear when she was on the brink of suicide. Someone needed to tell her that. Strings walked into the tent, but Rachel stood there, right in the entrance. Someone had told her. Only not in words. Rachel's stomach did flips as she finally felt loved, not only at home, but someone here cares for her. And she knew very well who that was.
Rachel entered G-Tent and looked around at everyone. They were all still seated on their original cots and talking. Strings sat down on her cot with Courtney as they whispered together and giggled at the other campers. Rachel smiled and sat down on her own cot.
Squid walked over to Rachel and sat on her cot, taking her by surprise.
"Oh! I didn't see you coming." Rachel said.
"I know darling, zat iz why people call me myzteriouz." Squid said, imitating the French accent.
Rachel giggled, "What'd ya want?"
Squid shook his head, "I don't know."
"What'd you mean you don't know?" Rachel said sternly, with a stubborn look on her face. Squid knew she was being sarcastic.
"I guess…I just wanted to see you." he said.
"Mm?" Rachel murmured.
After some silence and a lot of starring, Rachel just couldn't stand it anymore.
"Squid." she said.
"What?" Squid said.
"I feel like…well, I feel like we need to talk about the other night." Rachel said.
"Okay. Why?"
"I don't know. Because I just feel strange about it all, I guess."
"Alright." Squid said, looking deep into her eyes. Rachel's stomach did cartwheels.
"Listen. I--" she paused, "I want you to know that I have never…ever….had thoughts like I did that night. I mean everything with my father still being alive and-and….Carla storming in here and ruining everything, and how I'm being treated around here. It's just all crazy! This isn't reality, what is wrong with these people?!"
Squid didn't answer.
"I know I shouldn't complain but --"
Squid cut her off, "Listen Rachel…you don't have to explain yourself. I understand. Don't pressure yourself to tell me your life-story and don't worry yourself over the past anymore. Let it go." Squid said.
Rachel nodded quickly in short movements, "I just don't know if I can." she said, looking down, "It's a big step for me. I know I sound like a baby. But I'm really attached to my past. I hate it, but I love it too. I just don't know if I can let it go."
"Of course you can. If you're the fiery-strong girl that arrived at Camp Green Lake two months ago, that I, myself, argued and fought with directly…" Rachel chuckled, "Than you can overcome anything." Squid said.
"I don't know, it's just not that simple. Something very important and close to me, well, a lot of things, I feel are holding me back."
"What things?" Squid asked her.
"It's kind of a-- well, it's a secret. I know it sounds stupid. But my meaning for 'secret' is a lot different than what most people use the word for. Mine's deep, and it hurts. Not just my father or Carla. It's something else."
"What is it Rachel? You can tell me."
Rachel sighed.
"Rachel."
"What?" she asked painfully.
"I care about you." Squid said.
"I--" Rachel stammered.
"I do. And I want you to know that. I want you to feel at peace with your past. I feel like I've known you all my life, or that we were meant to meet each other."
Rachel couldn't believe what he was saying. And she couldn't believe that she was thinking either. He's crazy to say that, yet it's great that he's being straight out. She felt vulnerable, but herself, around Squid. But she hesitated in her mind, from the question he asked her. She….didn't. She didn't love him. She couldn't.
"It just --" Rachel couldn't find the words to say, she was all choked up, "I…really do appreciate that, Squid. But I can't go into a relationship now. I just…can't. I don't want to, and I can't. My past isn't letting me, and thinking about being with you just…" Rachel put her head down. "Hurts." she said.
Squid didn't look at her.
"There's someone….else." Rachel admitted.
Before Squid could say anything or look at her, Armpit budded it and said, "Hey y'all Mr. P wants us to go back to the tents."
Rachel and Squid broke their stare at one another and looked at Armpit. Rachel nodded. They gave each other one last glance, as did the rest of the girls with their new crushes, and all of the D-Tent campers waved and gave their goodbyes.
"Don't worry about it, Rachel. I'll see you tomorrow." he said quickly, and walked out of the tent faster than Rachel could comprehend what he had said.
From Squid's point of view: Song for this chapter….
"Run To Me" by Clay Aiken
Don't, you don't have to save my life
No, you're not ready I can feel it
Outside it's raining, but I'll just go home
Someday your heart will just let him go
As soon as you get that feeling
You can start to live again
As soon as the worst is over
You can make it all make sense
Right now I can't give you what you need
As soon as you get that feeling... run to me
Hush, you don't have to say a word
Trust, I'm not going to hate you for it
Feels like my touch only brings back the pain
Someday those memories will fade away
As soon as you get that feeling
You can start to live again
As soon as the worst is over
You can make it all make sense
Right now I can't give you what you need
As soon as you get that feeling... run to me
How can I be brave enough to say good-bye
I'd die inside without you, ohhh
Can't you see it's hard enough to walk away
Don't look at me, you make me wrong,
I've been through this to make me strong
As soon as you get that feeling
You can start to live again, oh
As soon as the worst is over
You can make it all make sense
Right now I can't give you what you need
As soon as you get that feeling,
As soon as you get that feeling… run to me