Prologue
Another day, another battle. I'm reminded of which side I'm supposed to be on, as my guardian angel deflects yet another of Satan's fiery masses as it's hurled towards me with incredible heat and force. I've been told I'm an innocent to be protected, though even now I question how that could ever be true.
The light hurtling towards me is always the same; a red, bright, heated mass that captures my gaze. Peering into the flames has a strange effect on me. Each time I look into the hurtling ball of death ands destruction coming towards me, I become nothing more than a deer, shocked by the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. I'm tempted to just stand there, mesmerized by what I'm seeing. The flames hold images of everything I've ever wanted, ever dreamed about. Promises of things to come, if only I would let it hit me.
My angel glances at me, as if to see what I will do. His blue eyes watch me intently as the fire draws closer, and his fair skin pales even more. Drawing his hand through his short brown locks, he marks himself as if to run in front of me if I don't move on my own. The ball moves speedily towards me still, and I won't budge. I'm tired of running. It doesn't matter if I do or don't anymore. Either way, my beautiful angel will save me…though for what reason, I'll never understand.
As I reach out for the ball of destruction, my angel charges towards me and pulls me aside, deflecting Satan's endless balls of hell fire and waking me from my lucid trance. He seems to think I was too dazed to move out of the way on my own. Really though, I'm testing my limits, and I'd half a mind that time, to just let the fire consume my soul. I've been running from this evil for so long now, not understanding why it's after me, or why my angel was even sent to watch over me. Doesn't he understand how it feels to be a pawn in a game you don't understand? Doesn't he ever fell like giving up this endless battle?
My angel grows weary of me I think. Seems he can never leave my side as I am forever stumbling into harm's way. Everyday is a battle for my soul, and all I may do is look on. And here we are, in yet another battle of good verses evil, and I can't figure out which side I truly belong on. I was never given a choice; my side was chosen for me. Not that I see the difference between what is god and what is evil anymore. How can I when I've seen so many die to protect an innocent, and so many live to do evil works? Is there even a difference anymore? Was there ever?
In order to protect me, my angel has had to let others die. He's sedated me, erased memories, and has ripped me away from everything I've ever known. All of this to "Protect me". "From what"? I want to ask him. But my angel merely shakes his head, knowing any answer he gives will only lead to more questions that neither of us know the answers to. And this is to be the side of good. Two figures with no hope, afraid to trust each other, and having no idea what to do with the flawed task before them.
Satan has tried to kill my angel, and has sent me visions of a life I've always dreamed about but never had the means to make my own. He promises me a better life. And I'm too confused now to know what's real and what isn't.
My angel promises me nothing…just that he will watch out for me. I am his charge, and his soul was melded with mine when he took me on, as I am his God given assignment. If you are bound to a charge, you feel what they feel, and can supposedly better keep them from perils and dangers…or so he has told me. When he does actually speak.
No one ever bothered to tell me why my guardian looks out for me, or why my soul is of such worth. Perhaps it is worth nothing. But then why does my angel not leave? The way my angel acts, I start to question for what purpose God wants my soul. He seems as needing of it as the very devil that hunts me. Day after day my angel stays by my side, wrapping himself in a cloak of invisibility. He never strays too far from where I am. Sensing danger, he hurries back to me, stopping yet another evil faction from claiming my life.
For some reason, he has been sworn to protect me. He's never given me a reason why, thought I've pestered him about it countless times since our meeting. I'm starting to wonder if he even knows the answer himself. Each time I ask, he groans, wishing, I think, that his charge was mute, and tells me not to question him. But I'm never satisfied with his answer, and proceed to pose more questions.
My angel touches a finger to my forehead and beckons sleep to take me. I think he just wants to sit quietly for a moment, and I cannot blame him. The questions I ask are difficult to answer because I don't think he understands these battles any more than I do.
As I drift off to sleep, my angel sits next to me, his head in his hands, a book in his lap, and he prays to God that he's protecting me as he should. I wish to answer him, to reassure him he's done his best…but sleep overtakes me once again, and I leave him to his prayers, hoping that maybe, this time, someone will hear them.
The light hurtling towards me is always the same; a red, bright, heated mass that captures my gaze. Peering into the flames has a strange effect on me. Each time I look into the hurtling ball of death ands destruction coming towards me, I become nothing more than a deer, shocked by the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. I'm tempted to just stand there, mesmerized by what I'm seeing. The flames hold images of everything I've ever wanted, ever dreamed about. Promises of things to come, if only I would let it hit me.
My angel glances at me, as if to see what I will do. His blue eyes watch me intently as the fire draws closer, and his fair skin pales even more. Drawing his hand through his short brown locks, he marks himself as if to run in front of me if I don't move on my own. The ball moves speedily towards me still, and I won't budge. I'm tired of running. It doesn't matter if I do or don't anymore. Either way, my beautiful angel will save me…though for what reason, I'll never understand.
As I reach out for the ball of destruction, my angel charges towards me and pulls me aside, deflecting Satan's endless balls of hell fire and waking me from my lucid trance. He seems to think I was too dazed to move out of the way on my own. Really though, I'm testing my limits, and I'd half a mind that time, to just let the fire consume my soul. I've been running from this evil for so long now, not understanding why it's after me, or why my angel was even sent to watch over me. Doesn't he understand how it feels to be a pawn in a game you don't understand? Doesn't he ever fell like giving up this endless battle?
My angel grows weary of me I think. Seems he can never leave my side as I am forever stumbling into harm's way. Everyday is a battle for my soul, and all I may do is look on. And here we are, in yet another battle of good verses evil, and I can't figure out which side I truly belong on. I was never given a choice; my side was chosen for me. Not that I see the difference between what is god and what is evil anymore. How can I when I've seen so many die to protect an innocent, and so many live to do evil works? Is there even a difference anymore? Was there ever?
In order to protect me, my angel has had to let others die. He's sedated me, erased memories, and has ripped me away from everything I've ever known. All of this to "Protect me". "From what"? I want to ask him. But my angel merely shakes his head, knowing any answer he gives will only lead to more questions that neither of us know the answers to. And this is to be the side of good. Two figures with no hope, afraid to trust each other, and having no idea what to do with the flawed task before them.
Satan has tried to kill my angel, and has sent me visions of a life I've always dreamed about but never had the means to make my own. He promises me a better life. And I'm too confused now to know what's real and what isn't.
My angel promises me nothing…just that he will watch out for me. I am his charge, and his soul was melded with mine when he took me on, as I am his God given assignment. If you are bound to a charge, you feel what they feel, and can supposedly better keep them from perils and dangers…or so he has told me. When he does actually speak.
No one ever bothered to tell me why my guardian looks out for me, or why my soul is of such worth. Perhaps it is worth nothing. But then why does my angel not leave? The way my angel acts, I start to question for what purpose God wants my soul. He seems as needing of it as the very devil that hunts me. Day after day my angel stays by my side, wrapping himself in a cloak of invisibility. He never strays too far from where I am. Sensing danger, he hurries back to me, stopping yet another evil faction from claiming my life.
For some reason, he has been sworn to protect me. He's never given me a reason why, thought I've pestered him about it countless times since our meeting. I'm starting to wonder if he even knows the answer himself. Each time I ask, he groans, wishing, I think, that his charge was mute, and tells me not to question him. But I'm never satisfied with his answer, and proceed to pose more questions.
My angel touches a finger to my forehead and beckons sleep to take me. I think he just wants to sit quietly for a moment, and I cannot blame him. The questions I ask are difficult to answer because I don't think he understands these battles any more than I do.
As I drift off to sleep, my angel sits next to me, his head in his hands, a book in his lap, and he prays to God that he's protecting me as he should. I wish to answer him, to reassure him he's done his best…but sleep overtakes me once again, and I leave him to his prayers, hoping that maybe, this time, someone will hear them.