Heyy. So. I got SOME reviews, but NOT ENOUGH!!! Come one, people! We
are raising the bar here! I mean, doesn't it just make you feel all warm
and fuzzy inside to check your email and see bot@fanfiction: REVIEW ALERT!
Really. So anyway, I hope you like this and you review. Or you don't
like this and review. Whatever, just REVIEW!
Innocent, innocent Harry looked up as an owl flew in the window and dropped a letter in his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"Silly owl," Harry scolded it, "Letters don't go in sandwiches, they go in random steaming beverages!" With this he dropped the letter in a mug of hot chocolate and merrily skipped away. It boiled and simmered in the hot chocolate. DA DA DA.
***
Frail, frail Aunt Petunia walked into the kitchen to serve breakfast to her two fat, fat family members. Poor Harry was alone in his room, counting cobwebs. She served them each a cup of hot chocolate and then got one for herself. They all sat around the table.
"This hot chocolate is too hot." Papa Dursley said.
"This hot chocolate is too cold." Mama Dursley said.
"This hot chocolate is juuuust right." Baby Dursley said. Suddenly he began to choke. His face turned blue. Dramatic music got louder and louder as he tried to notify his parents that he was choking.
"Oh dear!" screamed frail Aunt Petunia. She attempted to do the Heimlich on him, but her frail arms could not fit around his pudgy stomach. Somewhere far far away, Dr. Atkins shook his head sadly. Meanwhile, Dudley fainted to the ground and coughed up one those those red old-fashioned letter seals. It had an "H" inscribed on it. Then he croaked off to go to that big bakery in the sky.
MEANWHILE.....
"Ouch!" Harry yelled as another owl came in a smacked him on the head with a letter. "Thanks a lot! Now I lost count of these cobwebs!" he burst into tears and slumped moodily onto his bed. The owl muttered something about being hormonal and flew away. Harry stuck his tongue out at it and opened his letter.
[note: my italics aren't working, sorry!]
Dear Mr. Potter,
You have been accepted into the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please purchase the list of supplies, attached, in Diagon Alley. We hope to see you there!
Signed,
ALBUS A. DUMBLEDORE
Harry stared at the letter. He flipped to the list of supplies. He stared at the list of supplies. He flipped back to the letter. He stared at the letter. He flipped to-
"HARRY! Get down here, boy!" Fat, fat Uncle Vernon called upstairs to him. He put the letter down on his bed and promptly forgot about it for two days. Then one night at dinner, where all the Dursley's were sitting around the kitchen table and Harry sat down on the floor and begged for scraps, they heard a loud pounding knock.
"Who is it?" Aunt Petunia called pleasantly. More pounding. "Come in!" Aunt Petunia said, obviously unaware to the recent crime rates. Suddenly the door opened and a huge person stood in the door. If they hadn't been eating dinner and it had been light out, his shadowy figure would have been distinct in the frame of the door, which would have looked really cool, but this was dinner so it had to be nighttime.
"Oi've come for yer little nephew, oi 'ave!" The giant man said gruffly.
"You can't take him! We love him! We should never have kept him locked away all these years!" Aunt Petunia suddenly shrieked. "I won't let you have him!" Harry suddenly looked up from the floor as he saw a ray of hope, hope that he was loved. But it was quickly put out as Aunt Petunia walked over to the cupboard on the other side of the stairs and flung the little door open. Out jumped a little boy, about 7 or 8, with dirty-blonde hair and a ripped t-shirt and pair of jeans.
"This..." Uncle Vernon said, wiping away a single tear, "This is Barry. We've kept him locked up all these years ever since we suspected him of being an elf. But no more! We won't let you take him! You'll have to get through me first!" Uncle Vernon sobbed.
"Er...I, er..I just wanted Harry here. He's a wizard, you know." The Dursleys just raised their eyebrows at him in silence.
"Oh, well, um, okay..." Uncle Vernon said, trying to recover from his brush with tragedy.
And with that Harry and the strange Giant man walked off into the sunset.
A/N: TA-DA! Sorry it's been awhile since I posted...and I really have to update PP. Well anyway, PLEASE review! I'd write another song, but I don't want to cause anyone too much pain. But if you don't review, I might have to.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: PADFOOT-DREAMER: Hey Allison! Thank you so much for your long, long review!!! THANK YOU!!!
FLUFFYPINKFLAMINGO: Wow you reviewed the first one too! Good job! Lol I almost giggled out loud at that part too, which is really pretty pathetic since I wrote the thing, but anyhoo I caught myself in time.
Thanks to all my reviewers! Oh, wait, there are only 6!!! I FEEL SO LET DOWN! *sob* excuse me, I have to go wallow in my sorrow...
Innocent, innocent Harry looked up as an owl flew in the window and dropped a letter in his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"Silly owl," Harry scolded it, "Letters don't go in sandwiches, they go in random steaming beverages!" With this he dropped the letter in a mug of hot chocolate and merrily skipped away. It boiled and simmered in the hot chocolate. DA DA DA.
***
Frail, frail Aunt Petunia walked into the kitchen to serve breakfast to her two fat, fat family members. Poor Harry was alone in his room, counting cobwebs. She served them each a cup of hot chocolate and then got one for herself. They all sat around the table.
"This hot chocolate is too hot." Papa Dursley said.
"This hot chocolate is too cold." Mama Dursley said.
"This hot chocolate is juuuust right." Baby Dursley said. Suddenly he began to choke. His face turned blue. Dramatic music got louder and louder as he tried to notify his parents that he was choking.
"Oh dear!" screamed frail Aunt Petunia. She attempted to do the Heimlich on him, but her frail arms could not fit around his pudgy stomach. Somewhere far far away, Dr. Atkins shook his head sadly. Meanwhile, Dudley fainted to the ground and coughed up one those those red old-fashioned letter seals. It had an "H" inscribed on it. Then he croaked off to go to that big bakery in the sky.
MEANWHILE.....
"Ouch!" Harry yelled as another owl came in a smacked him on the head with a letter. "Thanks a lot! Now I lost count of these cobwebs!" he burst into tears and slumped moodily onto his bed. The owl muttered something about being hormonal and flew away. Harry stuck his tongue out at it and opened his letter.
[note: my italics aren't working, sorry!]
Dear Mr. Potter,
You have been accepted into the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please purchase the list of supplies, attached, in Diagon Alley. We hope to see you there!
Signed,
ALBUS A. DUMBLEDORE
Harry stared at the letter. He flipped to the list of supplies. He stared at the list of supplies. He flipped back to the letter. He stared at the letter. He flipped to-
"HARRY! Get down here, boy!" Fat, fat Uncle Vernon called upstairs to him. He put the letter down on his bed and promptly forgot about it for two days. Then one night at dinner, where all the Dursley's were sitting around the kitchen table and Harry sat down on the floor and begged for scraps, they heard a loud pounding knock.
"Who is it?" Aunt Petunia called pleasantly. More pounding. "Come in!" Aunt Petunia said, obviously unaware to the recent crime rates. Suddenly the door opened and a huge person stood in the door. If they hadn't been eating dinner and it had been light out, his shadowy figure would have been distinct in the frame of the door, which would have looked really cool, but this was dinner so it had to be nighttime.
"Oi've come for yer little nephew, oi 'ave!" The giant man said gruffly.
"You can't take him! We love him! We should never have kept him locked away all these years!" Aunt Petunia suddenly shrieked. "I won't let you have him!" Harry suddenly looked up from the floor as he saw a ray of hope, hope that he was loved. But it was quickly put out as Aunt Petunia walked over to the cupboard on the other side of the stairs and flung the little door open. Out jumped a little boy, about 7 or 8, with dirty-blonde hair and a ripped t-shirt and pair of jeans.
"This..." Uncle Vernon said, wiping away a single tear, "This is Barry. We've kept him locked up all these years ever since we suspected him of being an elf. But no more! We won't let you take him! You'll have to get through me first!" Uncle Vernon sobbed.
"Er...I, er..I just wanted Harry here. He's a wizard, you know." The Dursleys just raised their eyebrows at him in silence.
"Oh, well, um, okay..." Uncle Vernon said, trying to recover from his brush with tragedy.
And with that Harry and the strange Giant man walked off into the sunset.
A/N: TA-DA! Sorry it's been awhile since I posted...and I really have to update PP. Well anyway, PLEASE review! I'd write another song, but I don't want to cause anyone too much pain. But if you don't review, I might have to.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: PADFOOT-DREAMER: Hey Allison! Thank you so much for your long, long review!!! THANK YOU!!!
FLUFFYPINKFLAMINGO: Wow you reviewed the first one too! Good job! Lol I almost giggled out loud at that part too, which is really pretty pathetic since I wrote the thing, but anyhoo I caught myself in time.
Thanks to all my reviewers! Oh, wait, there are only 6!!! I FEEL SO LET DOWN! *sob* excuse me, I have to go wallow in my sorrow...