Heyy! Ok, I've been waiting to post this chapter for a LONG time because of the R.P.S.A. (see bottom author note) but I couldn't because, to make a long story short, I couldn't get on fanfiction for I couldn't post the next chapter of PP and/or see who I had to put into the R.S.P.A. So yea. R&R! NOW!
***
"Arrggh," Harry muttered, stifling a yawn. He looked around. This wasn't his room/cupboard!
Ohh, wait a minute. This is that place with the bathrobe people and the giant man who bought me a bird and a mop or something. Riiight. Well, better get ready for another exciting day!
Harry promptly sat up in bed, smacking his scarred head against a low-hanging lamp and falling back onto the bed, semi-unconscious.
When he woke up again a large hairy man was staring at him.
"'Arry? 'Arry? Eh, yer comin' 'round! Thought ya really conked yerself there! Thought yer might not be up an' about fer the big day! We can't 'ave that, now, can we?"'
Harry just nodded as he wondered where Hagrid was from with that accent. As Hagrid left the room Harry pulled open his closet door and gasped.
"ARRGGHHH!!!! EVIL BLACK BATHROBES!!! DON'T LOOK THEM IN THE EYE! DON'T LOOK THEM IN THE EEEEEYYYEEEE!!!!!!" he shrieked, shielding his face and tumbling to the ground, shaking in fear.
A loud earthquake-like noise announced Hagrid running up the stairs.
"What er ya yellin' about?" he cried, looking at Harry like HE was the crazy one.
"The...bathrobes...evil...nighty-night-land...bad dream..." suddenly he had a sudden revelation. He jumped up and rummaged through his backpack.
"AH!" he screamed, "IT WASN'T A DREAM!" he held up a big red and gold button, with the letters R.P.S.A. on it.
"Oh, ya fool, there ain't no Noighty-Noight-Land! You were in Diagon Alley! The best place fer yer back-ta-school shoppin'! Where else were ya planning on buying Wizarding Books? Madison Avenue?" Hagrid rolled eyes, looking at Harry like he was some kind of moron.
"But...the bird...the books...the bowl...the mop...all...magic?" Harry said slowly
"The owl, books, cauldron, and broom were all fer yer first year at 'Ogwarts!" Hagrid said, tossing Harry a bathrobe and turning to leave the room.
"And these are yer robes! see the lit'l 'Ogwarts seal on 'em? Aww...look at that! The little Snakey-wakey! And the wittle lion-wion! And a Baaadger! Aww how cute! Oh, but Ravenclaw's is the cutest, look at the wittle~"
"HAGRID!" Harry interjected, extremely confused, "WHAT in the world are you talking about?"
"Oh, put on yer robe and come with me!" Hagrid said exasperatedly, leaving and shutting the large wooden door behind him. Harry reluctantly pulled on a robe and sneakers and followed Hagrid downstairs.
***
Harry squinted in the bright sunlight. They were in the middle of the same wide street they were on yesterday. As they walked Hagrid explained the story of Harry's parents, of Albus Dumbledore, and of Hogwarts School. Harry's head was spinning as they reached a little stone building. Hagrid opened the creaky door and they stepped inside.
Harry gasped as he looked around. There were no windows, yet the room was cheery and bright. There were no chandeliers, yet candles were suspended in mid-air above his head. Suddenly he caught a glimpse of red hair out of the corner of his eye.
"Hey, mate!" The red-headed boy he had seen yesterday grinned, as Harry noted he was also wearing an R.P.S.A. pin. "I'm glad you could come to the meeting! We've had trouble recruiting members lately." The boy shook Harry's hand and led him over to two empty chairs.
"Sorry for not introducing myself yesterday, I'm just got a bit...um...overexcited...about seeing another random-phrase-shouter," he said sheepishly, "I'm Ron Weasley. And you are..."
"Oh! Sorry. Harry Potter." he said, suddenly looking worried as the entire room went silent. "Er...hi?" he said as suddenly everyone burst into screaming wildly and shaking his hand. Large crowds of teenage girls stormed him, asking for autographs. Others looked on interestedly but luckily refrained from trampling him. Some stared on awe, almost drooling.
"Er...what a welcome ceremony?" Harry shouted over the mad giggling and screaming, trying to get a glimpse of his friend over the many people surrounding him.
"OKAY!" A voice suddenly boomed, making everyone jump, "THAT'S ENOUGH! IN YER SEATS! ALL OF YA!" Hagrid bellowed at the kids. They promptly took there seats, focusing on Hagrid but occasionally letting their eyes flicker over to Harry. Hagrid went on to announce to the R.P.S.A. (who occasionally randomly bellowed out words in the middle of his speech) about how Harry didn't know he was a wizard, at the same time telling Harry why everyone was storming him like stampeding zebras. He just hung his mouth open and stared around the room at everyone. They stared back.
"So..." Ron said, breaking the awkward silence, "Let's all make Harry feel very welcome! And that does NOT mean trying to suffocate him and/or send killing curses at him to see if he survives again!" a few people groaned disappointedly as people started the whisper excitedly.
"AHEM!" A girl suddenly called, banging a wooden hammer thing on a desk, "ORDER IN THE COURT! Sorry, always wanted to say that..." she said sheepishly, twirling a strand of her bushy hair. "Anyway! I now call this meeting of the R.P.S.A. to order! First order of business-.."
"CORN DOG!" someone yelled, to some scattered applause.
"First order of business..." the girl continued, rolling her eyes, "Is new members. We've been very low on recruiting new members, no thanks to our recruiting-`"
"THERE ARE 15,000 SHEEP IN AUSTRAILIA!" someone yelled out, also receiving some applause.
"AHEM..." the girl said, giving everyone icy looks, "As I was saying, no thanks to our RECRUITING SQUAD!"
"Hey!" a boy with brown hair stood up suddenly, as Harry applauded playfully, too late to realize that was not in fact a random phrase, but an actual objection, "That's not fair, Granger! Ron and I have been working our bums off trying to find people to join! It's not that simple to just walk down to street and find people saying random things!"
"Yea!" Ron added, turning a bit pink, "You're always complaining about us! All you do is bang the damn mallet on a desk and state the obvious!"
"BLUE'S CLUES!" someone agreed.
"Well! ExCUSE me, but I'm sure we can replace Seamus and Ron in the snap of a finger! It's not like THEY do anything! They just walk around and listen to people and wait for them to say random things! That doesn't exactly take hard work!" she shouted shrilly, chucking the mallet at Seamus's head and storming out of the room. Luckily, Seamus ducked just in time.
"That one's got issues," Ron told Harry as he stared at the spot where the angry girl had been standing. "I heard she spent two years in anger management."
"Hmm..." Harry said, not really paying attention, as he stared in awe at all the shiny, shiny red buttons glistening from people's robes.
"Umm..." the brown haired boy said, standing up on the podium and holding the mallet that had narrowly missed his head a moment ago, "Meeting dismissed!"
"ORANGE PEEL!!!" Harry shouted gleefully, feeling very "in". As he strolled towards the door he tripped on a stick and fell on his butt.
"Now who leaves a stick INSIDE?" he hollered, picking it up.
"NOO!!!" an older girl shouted, reaching for the smooth stick a second too late. It shot out a red spark and suddenly she ran around screaming, her head on fire.
"Merious!" an older boy bellowed, pointing another stick at her head. She was promptly engulfed in a stream of water coming out of the stick, but the flames were indeed gone.
"NOW will you go to the Yule Ball with me, Anna?" he asked sweetly, looking very satisfied.
"You wish! Dan already asked me, anyway!" she stormed out of the room, looking enraged and dripping from head to toe.
"Arridius," the boy called lazily as the water evaporated. He looked very disappointed. Harry wondered if all magic girls were this angry.
***
"Well, that was sort of a bad first meeting for you. Usually they go somewhat better." Ron said to Harry as they walked down the street, Hagrid patrolling closely behind, occasionally shooing off groups of screaming girls, holding signs that read things like
"HARRY HOTTER!" and "LIGHTNING BOLTS ARE SEXY!"
They really needed some more creative lines. But whatever.
"No it wasn't! It was really exciting! And fun! And action-packed!" Harry said excitedly, picking up a stick and waving it around.
"THAT REMINDS ME!" Hagrid suddenly shouted, "You need a wand!" He grabbed Harry's arm and dragged him into a nearby shop, Ron trailing behind.
_________________________________________________________________________
A/N: Whew! Ta da! I got a little too serious in there, sorry about that! But to make up for it, I have a most important announcement!
In response to some reviews I've gotten, I have decided to start the official...
~*~*~RANDOM PHRASE SHOUTERS ANONYMOUS!!!!!!!~*~*~
List of members:
Padfoot-Dreamer
If you would like to become a member, you know what to do. If you don't, refer to Padfoot-Dreamer's review. No angry people equipped with mallets, I promise.
MUSTARD.
review!
~~~~~~~~~~BREAKING NEWS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This just in: Ok, I don't know how many of you lovely listeners out there read my reviews, but today I was disappointed to see a *tear* FLAME! I've seen other people get flamed, and this is one of the ruder ones I've seen. In summary, they said I was a pathetic excuse for a person, basically because they did not like the freaking title of my story. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?! Seriously. I won't flame ya back because I'm not stooping to that level, but I'm watchin' you, DD(platinumflirt@hotmail.com) O.o *hums* you can't briiiiing me down, you can't....*ahem* REVIEW! PLEASE! I NEED A POSITIVE COMMENT HERE!
ps~ Ok, new thought. Maybe this is my initiation as a true author! MY FIRST FLAME! Aww. Lol.