Holy updates, Batman! An update!

Yea...sorry about that...I was kind of dragged into my new non-parody story (Sixteen)...go read and review it. Maybe it's a bad idea that I have three stories and none of them are finished. Maybe I should take them one at a time.

Oh well.

Last night I was thinking and I have two new ideas for stories (both Harry Potter-related...lol)

The first idea I started writing already, but I'm not sure whether to post it. I've read a lot of stories that are like "breadbox versions" or "Harry Potter in 180 seconds" and stuff to that idea. And I really like them, I find them really funny and stuff, so I started one. This is NOT an original idea and I'm not taking credit. The story's mine, obviously, but not the whole idea of a summary-like thing. I'd give credit to whoever thought of it, but I've seen so many people do it that I have no idea who started the little fad.

Fad. What a great word.

Oh, by the way, before you read this chapter, the spacing is messed up. As in it added radom spaces and took away the ones I wanted to be there, so it's kind of screwed up, sorry about that.

Anyway, second idea is from the end of Prisoner of Azkaban, through summer, and into the beginning of Goblet of Fire, all from Sirius's point of view. Cuz Sirius is cool.

And so is reviewing.

Yea, I think I'm done here.

REVIEW!

"'Ello? Olivander? You in here?" Hagrid called as they opened the door the a musty little shop. Harry looked around. Long narrow boxes lined every wall, crammed in one after the other.

"Oh, goody gumdrops! Shoe-shopping!" Harry squealed, "My most favoritest sport!" he looked down at his pink Uggs, which were going out of style before his very eyes.

Hagrid eyed him, looking a bit concerned, but cleared his throat loudly and walked over to a dingy little counter, where a dingy little man sat, snoring loudly.

"Olivaaander! Wake up! WAKE UP, DAMMIT!"

The little man awoke with a jolt, eyes darting back and forth.

"D-dude! Wh-what is it, Hagrid? Do you n-need a wa- AGGHHH!!! DUCK AND COVER!!!!"

The man screamed, eyeing Hegwig (who had just hooted) and darting under his desk. Quickly he jumped back up, smoothing out his jacket as though nothing had happened.

"W-who do you need a w-wand for, Hagrid? I m-mean, you've been expelled like, thirty why-years ago, m-man. G-get reeeeaalll!" suddenly Harry gasped. The man was none other than...

A HIPPIE.

Harry screamed like a girl and ran behind Hagrid for cover. The man behind the desk, whose eye was twitching madly, looked at Harry sleepily, as though in a daze. His bright tye-dye t-shirt, brown suede jacket and boots, patched jeans, and the soul patch on his chin. They all screamed 'Hippie'. Harry tore his gaze away, deeply frightened.

Suddenly the man twitched again, falling back down onto his chair with a dazed smile on his face, staring into nothingness.

"Er...I don't think tha's gas. Stay back, 'Arry." Harry was too frightened to correct Hagrid's lack-of-'H'.

"Now, Olivander...how many fingers am I holding up?" Hagrid said slowly and clearly, waving two fingers in front of Olivander's face.

"P-p-peeeeaaccee..." Olivander droned, smiling again. It was indeed pure coincidence that Hagrid's index and middle fingers were in the universal Peace Sign. Olivander just liked saying peace.

"Ah, just as I thought. You know what this means, kids!" Hagrid said to an invisible group of PBS viewers, eyeing the Hippie again. "Olivander's on crack!" he said cheerfully, helping himself to various boxes and pulling them off the shelves. At this, Olivander suddenly jumped up.

"Duuuude! What do ya think you're doooing? Those are like, my...boxes. You can't, like...take them. You have to, like...sweeeeet." he fell back in his chair, drooling and snoring away once again.

Hagrid shook his head. "I used to know Olivander, he was in my year at 'Ogwarts. Always a druggie, never good news. It's sad, the youth of today..." he drifted off, wiping away a tear.

Suddenly, in a bolt of abstinence, there was a loud crash! Someone had jumped through the window! It was none other than...

The D.A.R.E. officer!!!

Harry cheered loudly and grabbed a bag of popcorn.

"Stay back, children!" the crazy ever-sober man said with a wave of his wand. He pointed it at Olivander.

"Darius!" he shouted, as a jet of purple light leaped from his wand and smacked Olivander in the head.

"What happened? Dude! Officer Barley! It's you again!" suddenly he looked confused, "How come every time I wake up my head hurts and you're here?" he shrugged and stood up.

"My work here is done! And remember kids, Drug Abuse Resistance Education is here to HELP!" with this he handed out a few bumper stickers and t-shirts reading "JUST SAY NO!" and flew away through the hole in the window he had made upon entering.

Harry squinted against the sunlight as the wonderful D.A.R.E. officer disappeared into the horizon.

Hagrid cleared his throat loudly. Olivander jumped. Still Hippie, but no more twitchy.

Eh, it's better than nothing.

Harry tried hard to fight his Hippie-phobia as Olivander got down multiple boxes from the shelves. After about an hour of Harry blowing up various helpless inamimate objects, including the shopkeeper's beloved collector's edition Woodstock food processor, Olivander stood hesitantly in front of a shelf at the very end.

Harry would have wondered if this would be the one, the perfect wand for him, but he already knew. The dramatic music playing totally gave it away.

The audience 'boo'ed and threw popcorn at the orchestra under the stage.

"I wonder..." Olivander said, gingerly taking down a large box labeled:

FOR USE OF THE BOY WHO LIVED ONLY. HIGHLY DANGEROUS.

"Hmm...maybe YOU should try this one, dude!" he said thoughtfully. Harry carefully opened the box. He shrieked as a little glass Christmas ornament fell out of the box and rolled to his feet and cracked open.

Suddenly the form of a young witch, whose eyes were magnified to three times their normal size by her giant spectacles, appeared in the silvery smoke that came from the orb.

She spoke, her voice cold and harsh. Harry leaned closer to here what she was saying.

He distinctly heard "The Dark Lord" and "only one shall live". Just as he was about to lean closer, the form of the woman was disintegrated as someone blew it away.

Harry, looking up to see who the culprit was, saw Ron frowning at him.

"The sign says 'no smoking', Potter. Please, have a little respect." Harry hung his head in shame as Olivander sheepishly stuffed something under his desk.

"Ok, you two, that's enough bad influence for one day!" Hagrid said, grabbing a wand out of the box the orb had come from and quickly pick-pocketing Harry. Grinning evilly as he pulled out seven galleons, he laid them on the counter.

"Oh, Hagrid, you don't have to pay!" Harry said cheerfully, reaching for his slightly lighter wallet.

"No, no! I insist!" Hagrid grinned, handing the wand to Harry and leading them out of the shop.

"Bye, dudes! Peace, little red-head bro!" Olivander called after them as Ron steamed. One of the many things Harry and Ron had in common was their strong dislike of Hippies. They even started the I.S.D.H., "I Strongly Dislike Hippies" club, but they couldn't find very many members. Except one fanatic named Ernie who seemed to think they were planning to blow up Hippie Nation, the newly formed all-hippie country.

Harry sighed as he skipped merrily down the street, arm-and-arm with Ron and humming a happy tune.

Life was good.

A/N: Lol. I have no idea what inspired that Hippie theme, And yes, if any of you caught it, the crack line was from School of Rock. What a great movie. If you haven't seen it, go rent it now. After you review, of course. And props to you if you know about D.A.R.E.

Ah, fifth grade. Good times, good times.

Shall I write a review song? I can't really think of what tune to do, thought. Give me ideas when (not IF) you review. So meanwhile, for your entertainment pleasure, I will write a limerick.

If you review you are cool,

Cooler than a trip to the pool,

If you don't you are not,

You stink and should rot,

Just kidding I love you all...stool...

[But I'll love you more if you review! And it's good karma!]

So now I'm off to possibly write the next chapter of Peter Pot. But I also have to change my summaries and ratings and all that schpiel, cause it's getting old.

And old is bad.

Save Burma! Review!