Yea, I'm still here. SORRY! about the lack of updates, I know, I know! I was consumed by other duties including school, homework, Sixteen, school, etc... PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
I really hope you guys like this chapter! As I type this I have no idea whatsoever what's going to happen, except I suppose they should actually go to Hogwarts. Other than that, it will be random junk that I come up with as I go along.
If you like this chapter, review!
If you don't... review!
Gracias.
Harry jumped a foot as he heard an odd, yet strangely familiar ringing noise.
He was sitting at the wooden kitchen table with Hagrid, enjoying a breakfast of roast pork and sizzling hash browns, with a few sides of coleslaw and some fresh-squeezed 100% orange juice.
The ringing came again. Harry looked around wildly, sticking out his tongue to sense the air for predators.
"...You wanna get tha'? I would, but I dunno how it works." Hagrid gruff voice startled Harry even further, the poor dear.
"Alright," said Harry, bravely fighting back the tears trying to push their way through. "I won't cry!" he muttered to himself, humming his theme song quietly to stay calm. "Doo, do do do, do dooo, do dooo," he said, wimpering as he looked for the source of the noise. The constant ringing- he couldn't take it anymore! "Doo do do do, do do..."
"Ow!" Harry squealed as he walked into a small table, stubbing his toe and breaking a nail at the same time. He briefly thought of suicide, but then figured out where the ringing was coming from, and decided it was his purpose in life to stay alive long enough to answer it, at least.
"...Hello?" Harry said, picking up the fluffy pink fur-trimmed phone.
"Hello, is Rubeus Hagrid there?" asked a strangely pleasant voice. Harry gasped, his eyes widening as he covered his open mouth with his free hand.
It was the Invasion of the Telemarketers! Just like in the prophecy! Yes, the prophecy a drunk man at the Leaky Cauldron had told him of! Harry stared into space dramatically as the voice replayed itself quietly in his head, but loudly enough for the audience to here.
"And they shall come, and they shall rip you off, and they shall haunt you 'til the day you die, with the never-ending calls, calls, CALLS!!!" Harry screamed and slammed down the receiver. He walked sullenly back to the kitchen.
"Who was tha'?" Hagrid asked.
"The wrong number, it was the WRONG NUMBER, DAMMIT!" Harry screamed at Hagrid fiercely. "What's with the third degree? Must you know every little detail of my life? Every waking minute of my very existence? Why, WHY?" he crumpled to the ground, rocking back and forth and weeping bitterly.
Muttering, "Well, it's my 'ouse, thought it might be fer me...", Hagrid walked from the room.
Harry was left alone in the empty kitchen, which actually symbolized being left alone in the world with an empty heart.
Readers marveled at the deep meaning of this and at the sheer bravery of this poor young boy.
Hagrid opened the door again, calling, "And get yer bags up, we're leavin' fer the station in a few minutes!" and left again.
Harry looked up, sniffling, and trudged into his room to get his trunk, as well as Hedwig's cage. Ten minutes later, they were on their way to King's Cross Station.
The only problem was, Hagrid didn't know how to drive.
"What? It's not like we use these in the wizarding world!" he had exclaimed when he saw what a car actually was.
And so, as it happened, this was how it came to be that Harry Potter, the eleven-year-old, was cruising down the street in a hip red convertible, his tangled black hair blowing back in the wind. Hagrid was next to him in the passenger seat, cowering in fear.
"How do Muggles do this? I'm going to have a heart attack! Where's the eject button?!" Hagrid ranted, looking for a button to propel him out of his seat. The only button he could find was the one to put the top down, but this calmed him quite well, so Harry didn't object. Even though his hair was no longer streaming back but instead in a tangled mess once more.
"Look at this, Hagrid! Look at my hair! Honestly, why couldn't I have inherited my mother's hair, too? Then I really could be a Weasley one day..." Harry said, staring into space as he reveled in his lifelong dream. He was abruptly brought back to reality by a loud honking as he almost crashed into the car in front of him.
"Eyes on the road, 'Arry!" Hagrid commanded, trying to appear as if he hadn't been having a nervous breakdown merely moments ago.
Suddenly, in the rearview mirror, Harry saw flashing blue and red lights, and the loud "Wheee-oooo, wheeee-oooo," of police sirens.
"Dammit, they brought in the Fuzz!" Harry exclaimed, whipping on a pair of sunglasses.
"Who did?" Hagrid asked, looking confused.
"Never mind that!" Harry said, for lack of a better answer, and swiftly turned the car with a loud screeching of brakes. He drove over a jump, through a ring of fire, and around various obstacles until he...well, ran out of gas.
"Ok, ya got me!" Harry said, rolling down the window and putting his hands up as a policeman, who was also wearing sunglasses, walked up next to the now idle car.
"How old are you, sir?" the man questioned, "Love your shades, by the way."
"Hey, yours aren't bad either. Armani?" Harry answered conversationally.
"Nah, Macy's. My wife's a penny-pincher." the man replied, shrugging. "Anyhoo...I'm gonna have to see your license."
Harry's heart was racing as he fumbled around the car. He didn't have a license! What if they missed the train? He searched around in his pocket until his hands closed on something laminated and license-shaped. He handed it to the officer.
"Oh...my...GOSH!" the officer exclaimed, looking at the thing Harry had handed him. "Random Phrase Shouters Anonymous? Me too! Actually, I prefer 'Contingent Exclamatory Syndrome', but TOTALLY! Wow, this is so neat-o! Guatemala!" he said, giggling.
"Banana hammock," Harry replied, grinning.
Suddenly the radio on the man's belt beeped. "Oh, sorry...I'm going to need your name, sir." the policeman instructed, still trying to contain his excitement.
"The name's Potter," Harry said, taking off his sunglasses, "Harry Potter." and with that he drove away into the distance.
Harry stepped out of the car, not stopping to wonder how he had managed to get to the station when just minutes ago he'd had to stop in the middle of a wild police chase because he was out of gas. It was almost like...magic...
Handing Hagrid a barf bag, which he gratefully accepted, Harry strolled toward station 9. Hagrid followed suit.
"Oh, HELLO, Harry dear!" shouted Ron's mum, Mrs. Weasley. "Do you need help getting onto the station?"
Harry grinned knowingly. He was, after all, in the middle of the second book, and already knew how to get onto Platform 9 ¾. He whipped on a snazzy bowler hat and a pinstripe suit.
"No thanks, toots. I got it all covered." he said, winking and walking into the brick pillar under station 9 with a –SMACK!-
The audience winced, but applauded politely as Harry pulled himself back up (the brave, strong boy!), getting odd looks from a few Muggles around him.
"You walk into the wall under Platform Ten, dumbass." Ron muttered, doing so with an annoying know-it-all look on his face.
Harry stuck his tongue out at the spot where Ron had been and, grabbing his trunk and owl's cage once more, strolled through the barrier under platform ten.
Harry spotted Ron and few feet ahead of him, and hurried to join him. Within five minutes, the rest of the Weasley clan had stepped through and were checking up on last-minute packing.
"Ron," Mrs. Weasley said, "you have Mr. Punky-pie? You know how you can't sleep without him."
"Mum!" Ron said, turning bright red and shoving a little teddy bear into his trunk.
"And George," Mrs. Weasley continued, ignoring her youngest son, "You have your lax pills? You know how the house-elves prepare that chicken, it makes you so constipated, darling – George? George!" but George was already halfway to the train, acting as though he couldn't hear her and looking around to make sure no one else did.
The rest followed, filing onto the train and being kissed goodbye by Mrs. Weasley. Harry waved to Hagrid and followed Ron, looking for an empty car. They finally came upon one, at the back of the train, and shoved their trunks under their seats.
"Good morning!" a voice came over the speaker next to Harry's head, "And welcome to train 202 to Hogwarts from Platform nine and three quarters! We hope you enjoy your ride. Please store all carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment and fasten seatbelts. When the seatbelt signed has been turned off, feel free to move about the cabin. No smoking is allowed on the Hogwarts Express. In case of rapid change in pressure, oxygen masked are located in the overhead area and will fall automatically. A snack cart will be coming around shortly. Thank you, and enjoy the ride."
The two boys looked at each other and shrugged. Suddenly, with a loud whistle, the train began to move.
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A/N: Well, I went to write chapter ten and realized that 9 was only half finished! Sorry about that! And I haven't updated this story in a LONGGG time, so sorry about that too! Please review!!!
...please????