Quick note-I (prancing-pink-monkeys) apologise for the big delay in-between updates but my computer broke. Thanks 4 being so patient.
Disclaimer-well as u know this is all fiction from our twisted minds that have been further warped by today's tv society. We own nothing at all not even the potato sacks we are wearing.
Chapter 8 – The end?
"FATHER!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
Governor Swann fell out of the cupboard, unconscious. Elizabeth tried to go over to him, but Commodore Norrington got there before her. He picked him up, and held him at lipstick point.
"Anybody moves, and dear old Governor Swann gets a nice makeover!" Commodore Norrington laughed evilly.
"Please, don't!" Cried Elizabeth.
"Well, what's wrong with a little makeover?" Jack asked.
Will looked at him, and replied, "Well if you look at the state of Commodore Norrington's make up, then I think you can guess why we don't want him to go near the Governor with make up of any sort!"
"Ah, good explanation, mate" Jack turned to the Commodore "Commodore, please, put the lipstick down, and don't do anything stupid"
"HA! And you think I'm going to listen to you, Sparrow? Of course not!"
"Please, just let us go," Elizabeth was nearly in tears now.
"I'm sorry, I can't do that. No one is leaving until Will admits his feelings for me" Commodore Norrington replied.
"How many times do I have to tell you? I hate you!" Will was becoming angry. "I don't care that you've dressed up as a woman to get my attention, I'm married for Gods sake!"
"So does that mean that there would be a chance if you were single?" Norrington asked, glaring evilly at Elizabeth.
"I've said it once, and I'll say it again, Norrington, NOT IF YOU WERE THE LAST CROSSDRESSER ON EARTH!"
Commodore Norrington frowned, and dropped Governor Swann, who was still unconscious. Elizabeth went over to him, to see if he was ok. The Commodore walked over to a drawer, and pulled something out. "I had really hoped I didn't have to resort to this." He put on a false sad look, and narrowed his eyes at Will.
"What are you talking about?" Will asked, becamoming nervous, as Norrington stared at him.
"Well, while I was cleaning up this pigsty of a house, I came across something quite interesting" He broke out into a grin, seeing Will's look.
"Oh, and what would that be?" Will asked.
Norrington held up a bag with white powder inside. "My, Will, aren't we a dark horse?"
Elizabeth looked at Will, and asked, "What is that?"
Norrington smiled, then replied, "Oh, Elizabeth, you act like you've never seen cocaine, found it in your room."
"Will, how could ye?!" Everyone turned to look at Jack, who looked very hurt. "What!I thought we were mates, an all this time ye have kept this from me. I, I don't think that we can be friends anymore." He noticed everyone staring at him "What? Can't a guy have his moments?" he shouted.
Elizabeth turned her attention back to Will, "What the hell are you doing with cocaine?"
Will shifts uncomfortably, "Well, I, erm, I'm minding it?"
"Not good enough, try again"
"I, I, I'm an addict, ok? I can't help it, my life is so stressful at the moment, or haven't you noticed? I've got a wife with more bloody facial hair than me, AND to top it off, a cross-dressing stalker!"
Norrington spoke up, "Actually, I prefer the term wannabe woman, with a serious crush"
"Whatever, look, why me? Isn't there someone else you fancy that you could bother?"
Norrington looked at the floor and replied, "Well there is one" He giggles slightly.
"Really, who?" Elizabeth asked.
"Oh, no one," He replied, sighing dreamily.
"Oh come on, tell us, please?" Elizabeth pleaded.
"Ok, ok, for a while now I've had a HUGE crush on Gillette." Norrington replied, blushing.
"So why don't you tell him instead of chasing my husband?"
"Well, I just wanted to make sure Will wasn't interested before I made my move on Gillette, didn't want to make Will jealous now, did I?"
"So will you tell him then, so we can go?"
"And say what? Just tell him, I can't do that!"
"Why the bloody ell not? You were like that with Will!"
"That was different! Gillette isn't as easy as Will!"
"Oh, if I'm easy, then I'd hate to see what Gillette's like!" Will muttered, earning an elbow in the ribs from Elizabeth. She then mouthed 'shut up,' to which Will did.
Suddenly the door was kicked down, as guards rushed in, surrounding the Commodore, staring at his choice of clothing.
"What are you doing?" Norrington asked.
Gillette made his way through the guards, to speak to him. "Well sir, we were up at the fort, when we saw smoke signals coming from this house, so we decided to investigate.
"Smoke signals?!" Everyone looked over at the fireplace, where Jack had his coat over it, taking it off every few seconds. He looked up and saw the guards, "HA! It looks like me plan worked then. Good job me mum forced me to join the scouts when I was a boy!" He stood up and joined the group. The attention had turned back to Norrington.
"Sir, may I ask what is going on here?"
"Oh, Gillette! There's something I need to tell you, I really fancy you, you know!" Norrington said shyly.
"Excuse me?" asked a shocked Gillette, hoping he misheard him.
Will stepped in, to stop Norrington from saying anymore.
"Sir, I'll explain it all to you."
Will spent the next hour telling Gillette what happened.
After hearing what happened, he went over to Norrington, "I'm sorry sir, but I have to arrest you for harassing these people." He put him in irons, but Norrington smiled, unfazed, and raised an eyebrow.
"Hmm, into bondage Gillette? I'm into role play, myself – maybe you could wear your uniform to bed?"
"Sir, I don't think you understand the seriousness of this."
Norrington rolled his eyes, "Of course I do, what do you take me for? No one will suspect anything, if that's what you're worried about, because I'm dressed as a woman, BUT if you keep up these public displays 'holds up irons' then it just won't work."
"I really don't know what you're talking about sir, but what I do know is that you are going to jail."
"But, but..." Norrington was speechless, as the guards dragged him off.
Gillette turned to Will, Elizabeth and Jack, "I'm really sorry about that, we'll just take Governor Swann to the doctors, and we'll be on our way." Gillette motions to a guard, who picked up the Governor, and put him over his shoulder. He walked out, but Gillette shouted, "Wait a minute!"
"Yes?" The guard turned around, hitting the Governors head on the doorframe.
Gillette rolled his eyes, "Don't forget his wig," he said, handing the guard the pink wig.
"Ah, thanks," He turned to leave, hitting Governor Swann's head again in the process, and walked out.
"Well bye" All the guards cleared out.
When everyone left, Elizabeth turned to Will and said, "So what are you going to do about your little addiction?"
"It's not an addiction!" Will cried.
"It will be if you don't do something about it!"
"Hey, you can't ask me to give it up!" Elizabeth stared at him. "Please? I quit smoking, this is all I have left!"
"But Will, it's dangerous to your health!"
"So is rum, but Jack's been drinking it for years! And he's fine, see?"
They both turned to look at Jack, who had passed out on the floor, with an empty bottle of rum next to him.
"Where did he get that from?" Will mused.
"I don't know – HEY IS THAT ONE OF MY SPOONS?!" Elizabeth shrieked.
"Hey, calm down!"
"Fine! Where were we? Oh yes, well if you want to look like that 'points to Jack' then go ahead, keep on taking your precious drugs, but you won't be doing it here!"
"Ok, ok, I'll sign up for a 12 step programme tomorrow." Will sighed.
"Thank you, now, I'm going to try out a new product my father got me. Apparently it's all the rage in Brazil. It's supposed to help me get rid of my moustache."
"What is it?" Will asked.
"They're called wax strips, see you later," with that Elizabeth left the room.
Will sighed, then turned to Jack, who had woken up.
"So are you going to stay any longer?" Will asked.
"Nah, I miss me ship, although it was a fun visit, well see ye."
"Bye Jack."
Will smiled, finally, everything is back to normal.
In the jail...
It was shower time, and all the prisoners were washing. Commodore Norrington was humming to himself. Now, you'd think that a Commodore being stuck in jail would be a kick in the teeth, but not our Commodore.
He turned to the man showering next to him and grinned.
"Excuse me sir, be a sport, and pass the soap."
The man looked at the soap nervously, which was surprisingly lying on the floor.
Commodore Norrington saw the look of terror on the young mans face, and laughed evilly.
The end
There you have it folks – it's been great writing this! We would like to thank everyone who had reviewed, it meant a lot to us, and let us know if you guys want a sequel or not. By The Shiny Pearl, and my good friend Prancing Pink Monkeys.
(prancing-pink-monkeys "wow I have a friend I'm so sob happy")