by: darkestbeforedawn
summary: flowers and dreams... just what does dreams lead to?
warnings: shounen ai, shoujo ai, and everything else in between. spoiler for entire anime series.
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Flower - Meaning - Pairing -
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Lotus - 'Estranged love' - Ritsu x Shigure x Akito
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Ritsu was a really attractive person, wouldn't you think?
Dark brown eyes, glowing orange hair, and the fairest of complexions.
No one would ever suspect she, was a he . The silly boy had been dressing like that for, how long now? And strange enough, no one would question it, or even feel the slightest out of place when that 'she' was addressed as a 'he'. Somehow, we've woven into some sort of a strange family, no matter how much we deny it.
Of course, the feeling was always strained-- everytime there was a celebration of some sort, the air would still and the others around me would wonder what I would do.
They fear me.
In a odd way, I take comfort in that. I suppose it's because that's the only 'constant', besides my fatal illness in this godforsaken house. There isn't a second of hesitation if I were to call out in pain-- everyone would reach out and help me.
But it's only because that's the only thing they could ever do. They can't take away this... this... curse , so they pretend to care.
Except... like I was saying. Ritsu was an attractive person. By some means, he would always pay me a visit with Shigure, after he has finished his writing and the other his duties at the hot-springs. The silly thing apologizes more often than he actually talks, and of course, Shigure teases him for it.
Somehow, I am jealous.
They would arrive together at the same time, and pay me a visit. Shigure has now gotten into the habbit of painting me whenever he does come, and Ritsu brings food from his mother's hot-springs.
Whenever we're together now, it's calm and peaceful.
For that one second, I could almost pretend there wasn't a curse, and it was just us-- Shigure, Ritsu, and I, together. But it's not natural to feel this way about two people, is it?
But then again... how normal are we a family? What kind of house lives in fear of one another, relatives whose been broken inside and out, that have memories they wish to forget but i>I /i>, I order not to forget.
What kind of a teenager am I? I have it all, but I've lost it all as well.
This one time, Shigure upsetted me to the point where I almost did something I would regret. It was such an insignificant little thing, yet I was so unsettled then, that it was all that mattered. my anger clouded my... affection for him.
I was on the brink of mentally collapsing. No one dared to come and calm me down. Afterall, if Shigure was even driven out, who would be able to talk to mean?
They were so afraid.
But did they know... did they know how afraid , how afraid I was of myself?
I wasn't used to crying until that day. But like the saying... "If a tree falls, and no one was there to witness it, how did you know it fell?" No one was there to ever know I cried. They only needed to know of my tyranny, and live in fear of me everyday.
They were afraid of a teenage boy who wass lost in the darkness... crawling towards a light that wasn't there.
Ritsu visited me the other day. He came all by himself, and I didn't ask. I didn't want to hear the truth, as I liked to lie to myself alot.
But he didn't act all that different. He did what he usually did-- set out tea for three people, brought enough food for three people, and was still the same stuttering, silly boy he was.
"He's not angry, Akito-san."
And that's all I needed to hear.
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when i write about akito, i sometimes forget he's only 19. i mean sure, he's the head of a family, but he's still only a teenager, barely an adult! to be in his position like that must either send him into madness, or make him the person we see in the series. so... i thought, 'what would calm him down?' actually, it was more like, 'what would calm i>me /i> down?' so far, all these POVs i've wrote it, i was actually writing what my reaction would be like. because, i suppose, i sometimes find myself in their position-- hana's one-sided romance, kyo's confusion, and momiji's regret.
b>replies to reviews... /b>
GhostHelwig: i wish they had really shown megumi more in the anime, actually. i adore him to pieces, so i was really nervous on how this came out... -smiles-
Darkness Sweetheart2000: thanks! i hope you liked this then -winks-
Akiko Koishii: thanks! i want everyone is furuba to have atleast one turn before having other characters get their second.
Apocalypse Cow: thank you! i think you've just summed up megumi with one phrase; 'cute, in a vaguely psychotic way' lol! a hatori x tohru? sure, but you're going to have to be patient... however, i've recieved loads of requests for it from my other friends to, so expect one!
Crazy-Fruits-Basket-Fan: of course! tohru-kun is one of the few female protagonists that don't piss me off, so i reserved a special one for her. -winks- thanks for reviewing!
R & R, onegai (please)! the next chapter will feature....
Kagura x Kyo