Hello! I'm sorry this update is so long in coming. I could give you lots of reasons, but I'll just get to the chapter.

Thank you to all my Ch2 reviewers!! Miyo86 Blond Archer
And in my replies last chapter I put "Lauren" as "Laura." I'm sorry!

This chapter is based from Assassins, and I do not own Left Behind.

There's no way to describe the rage I feel. I've been through do much and I don't think I

can take any more. How much is one human supposed to endure? I know the Lord said

that he would never try us more than we are able, but sometimes that's hard to believe. I

nightly go through a list of those we've lost, and as the list gets longer, it only makes me

angrier. How is it that we have lost so much? I know that it is our fault that we are still

here on this earth, but when is enough going to be enough? My logic reasoning kicks in,

but I push it away. All of these thoughts of vengeance run through my mind and I don't

want these thoughts to go away yet. I've begun to plan and place myself at the right time

and place to be Carpathia's assassin. I know that its wrong, and I know that the others

would try to talk me out of it if I told them, but I just want to think on these thoughts a

little longer. What if it is my destiny? How can I tell? How will I know what is my own

emotions and what is God's voice guiding me? I'll just be there at the right place and if

the Lord wants me to be the one... could I really do it? I've thought about it and planned

it, but if the time came, if it really came down to it, could I really pull the trigger?

Carpathia has hurt and killed so many; he deserves to die a horrible death, even though he

Will come back to life. But can I really kill? You know, I haven't even thought to

seriously pray in weeks. What has happened to me? Right after I got saved, I felt such a

hunger and thirst for his Word. Now, I feel it's a chore. This rage has consumed me, and I

haven't had the strength or the desire to send these feelings away. So its grown, and now

I can no longer control the thoughts that plague me. Will I be the one to kill Carpathia? I

don't know. But I will continue to plan and position myself, and if God directs me, I'll be

there to do the job.

Please review! (It's so easy and it only takes a minute and it brightens my day! )