A/N: Okay so just to try to avoid some confusion I want to explain that Nathan and Lucas are both Deb and Dan's sons in this story. I just chose to make them both full-blooded brothers because it flows better with how I want this story to go. As always thank you all of your wonderful reviews I hope you're enjoying reading it!! Feel free to leave feedback. I always like to know if there was a specific part you liked or didn't like. Either way! I also apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I didn't have a whole lot to add to it. I wanted it be short and sweet. A new update will be up soon though. I promise. Now on with the reading:)

TOXIC

Chapter 14

So Far Down

Trying to make his life make sense.  Trying to understand why he did the things he did. Those were the thoughts running through Nathan's head as he entered his house, and threw his gym bag roughly to the ground. The sound it made it hitting the floor reverberated throughout the rest of the house.

"Nate is that you," Deb Scott called, from the kitchen when she heard the noise. "Nate?"

She listened has she heard heavy steps come from the foyer and into the smaller kitchen, were she was currently trying to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The smell of burnt sugar and chocolate mixed into the air. Nathan took no notice of it as he entered the room sullenly.

"What," he grumbled, leaning on a nearby barstool.

"How was your trip to the gym," Deb asked with added pep, as she continued to stir the cookie doe.

"Fine."

"Did you see Luke there," she looked up at him, and his face shifted from blank canvas to a noticeable scowl.

"No."

"Do you know where he is," she pressed, and Nathan shifted on his feet tensely, not wanting to talk to his mother about his brother right at the moment.

"No."

"Do you know where he is," she seemed concerned.

Nathan wondered not for the first time if she ever acted this worried when he wasn't around. Sure Luke was the good child, and he was the bad. They had been deemed these roles from practically birth. And even though Nathan had basketball, he would never be good enough in his parents eyes to be considered the good child. Lucas won the part long ago. Not that they both hadn't been given anything everything they both wanted. Not that they weren't both loved. It just hurt, he supposed, that Luke got both basketball and brains, and he only got one.

"Nope," he bit out at her, ready to leave the room.

"Do you know if he's going to be around for dinner?"

"I don't know Mom. Call his cell," Nathan practically yelled.

Deb set down her bowl and came closer to her second born. "Is there something wrong Nate?"

He let out a deep heavy sigh. "Everything's peachy Mom," he shrugged her off, and walked toward the hall. He hated when she pitied him. It was sickening.

"Are you staying for dinner," she questioned.

"Yeah," was the last thing he uttered before he left the room, and went towards the stairs. Only to come right across his father's path.

Another heavy sigh. Why did people always bother him, when he just wanted to be left alone.

"Nate, you seen your brother," Dan Scott said as he continued to parus the catalog he held in his hands.

Nathan rolled his eyes, wanting more than anything to not have to go through this whole spiel again. "No. I don't know where he is. I haven't seen him all day."

"You think he'll be home tonight," Dan asked with interest, his eyes still on the what he was reading.

"Probably," Nathan bit out in a raised voice, which immediately got his father's attention.

Dan eyes him carefully, and snapped the catalog shut. "Did you talk to the Bayview coach yet?"

"Not yet."

"You better get on top of it son, or else you won't be playing on any team next year."

"I know Dad."

"Then do it," Dan stated with a serious glare.

"I will," Nathan replied in kind, the overwhelming feeling of never quite being good enough, struck him as it always did when he had these talks with his father. It was a Dan Scott speciality something both him and Lucas knew too well. Something, which neither of them could escape, and yet always tried to attain. It was a futile effort, and Nathan could see that. He just didn't know if trying to live up to his father's expectations was worth all the sacrifices. Not when it made him choose between what he wanted and what Dan wanted. And not when it made him feel like this.

Both men stood in silent consideration for a moment, Nathan staring off into the empty side room, as Dan observed him.

"How about we go for a run," he questioned, with a more merrier expression.

"I already went running this morning," Nathan countered, with a tried shrug.

"Well you'll go again then. Gotta keep fit for next season," Dan smiled, slapping Nathan on the back as he started down the opposite hall.

"Go change, I'll meet you down here in 15," he added before disappeared.

Nathan grinded his jaw together, and slowly began pounding his way to his room. The only real thought that continued to haunt his brain, despite the nagging of his mother and bluster of his father, was the image of Haley's fallen face. The fact that he had caused it, and now it was too late to take back. Much like everything else in his life.