Epilogue
The Hat eventually began to foam at the mouth; he choked and died later on that
night. Dumbledore flushed him down the toilet the next day.
Harry's body was left where it was until the janitor came back from his holiday and
decided to donate it to the experimental how-not-to-kill-the-patient-in-surgery group,
which disbanded six days later when the realised they weren't really saving anyone
and that they had actually become a threat to society.
Dumbledore went on to earn an Oscar and two BAFTA nominations for his
performance in the epic trilo-, oh hang on…
Sugar Kane Kowalczyk continued running until she had made a full circle of the earth
and returned to the Hogwarts grounds. She was shot by Hagrid immediately and is
now displayed in a museum southwest of London, in the git-needing-kick exhibtion.
Cho Chang eventually hit the ground, but before she did that she learned by means
of a flying squirrel that gravity was a figment of her imagination created by a Large
group of men. Not particularly important men, mostly orthodontists and executives of
minor firms. They petitioned to have capital letters put into their name (this became
the most interesting event of their week) and received a notice twelve weeks later
stating that they got one large 'L' and an odd shape which when turned upside down
looked quite familiar...
Five seconds before she hit the ground Cho realised that it said nothing about the
squirrel's theory on gravity in the encyclopaedia that had been o so conveniently
tossed out of the window right after she jumped. She threw it up over her shoulder
when she was done, encyclopaedia's were of no use now so why not? Either way, it
had taught her a valuable but now useless lesson: Never trust a flying squirrel wearing a cape.
The Squirrel never made it to the ground. He had gotten caught and squashed between
the pages of the encyclopaedia.
The Author's computer eventually overheated due to her many attempts at making
Quentin Tarantino references that no one would ever get. It was given six funerals and
a wedding.
When The Author had finished grieving the loss of her only friend in the whole wide
world, she bought a Pentium CXXXVVIII Computer that constantly told her to "Bite
Me". She took this as a challenge.
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FIN
(Author's Note: You likey? You no likey? How dare you no likey! You should likey!
Why you no likey? Is it because I likey?)
The Hat eventually began to foam at the mouth; he choked and died later on that
night. Dumbledore flushed him down the toilet the next day.
Harry's body was left where it was until the janitor came back from his holiday and
decided to donate it to the experimental how-not-to-kill-the-patient-in-surgery group,
which disbanded six days later when the realised they weren't really saving anyone
and that they had actually become a threat to society.
Dumbledore went on to earn an Oscar and two BAFTA nominations for his
performance in the epic trilo-, oh hang on…
Sugar Kane Kowalczyk continued running until she had made a full circle of the earth
and returned to the Hogwarts grounds. She was shot by Hagrid immediately and is
now displayed in a museum southwest of London, in the git-needing-kick exhibtion.
Cho Chang eventually hit the ground, but before she did that she learned by means
of a flying squirrel that gravity was a figment of her imagination created by a Large
group of men. Not particularly important men, mostly orthodontists and executives of
minor firms. They petitioned to have capital letters put into their name (this became
the most interesting event of their week) and received a notice twelve weeks later
stating that they got one large 'L' and an odd shape which when turned upside down
looked quite familiar...
Five seconds before she hit the ground Cho realised that it said nothing about the
squirrel's theory on gravity in the encyclopaedia that had been o so conveniently
tossed out of the window right after she jumped. She threw it up over her shoulder
when she was done, encyclopaedia's were of no use now so why not? Either way, it
had taught her a valuable but now useless lesson: Never trust a flying squirrel wearing a cape.
The Squirrel never made it to the ground. He had gotten caught and squashed between
the pages of the encyclopaedia.
The Author's computer eventually overheated due to her many attempts at making
Quentin Tarantino references that no one would ever get. It was given six funerals and
a wedding.
When The Author had finished grieving the loss of her only friend in the whole wide
world, she bought a Pentium CXXXVVIII Computer that constantly told her to "Bite
Me". She took this as a challenge.
}{ }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ }{
FIN
(Author's Note: You likey? You no likey? How dare you no likey! You should likey!
Why you no likey? Is it because I likey?)