Finally an update is here. Sorry about the wait. Here's the second part of the dinner scene for you all. Thank you all for the superb feedback! I couldn't ask for more!!

TOXIC

Chapter 18

Jaded

It had been over an hour since they'd all ordered and eaten. The worst meal of the century finally coming to end. It was in the middle of one Brooke's class act dating disaster stories that Haley heard a slight beep coming from her purse. She reached down, where she'd sat in on the ground and placed in her lap, taking out her cell-phone and flipping it open. The front screen read: New Text Message.

Haley clicked into her Inbox, the message from a number unknown to her. She scrolled down her inbox to the message.

            Haley, Had fun last weekend. Can I see u again?  –Brad

She felt her heart begin to race inside her chest, as she snapped her phone shut, and threw in back into her bag. Picking up her fork, she tried to returning to her meal, only to discover she'd pretty much lost her appetite.

"Whose that," Brooke asked out of left field.

"Nobody," Haley blurted out quickly, too quickly. Which brought Nathan's attention away from his steak and into the conversation.

"Was it your new boyfriend," he asked bitterly, choosing now of all time's to finally join the conversation.

"Boyfriend? Haley is there......" Peyton began.

"I don't have a boyfriend. I don't know what he's talking about," she looked to Nathan nervously, hoping against hope that he wouldn't do what she knew was in his nature to do. And that was making potentially bad situation worse.

"Sure looked like he was your boyfriend when you left the club the other night," he spit out, his ego still sore from the rejection he'd felt by Haley's words.

"How would you know? You walked out first, remember? Not that anyone's surprised by that news," Haley matched him.

"I don't see you denying it."

"I don't have to deny anything to you, or anyone else."

"So you did leave with him then," Nathan prompted, despite Haley's paling.

"Just let it go Nate," Lucas tired making peace.

Nathan waved him off, without a second thought, his mind set. "No I'm curious. She won't say if she left with him or not. But she will say they're not together. Now what does that mean?"

"What do you want from me." There wasn't even a word for how uncomfortable she was feeling right now. Glancing to Brooke or Peyton, Haley hoped for some kind of reprieve. None came.

"Oh come on, we're all dying to know?"

"Know what," Haley cried.

Nathan was beyond curious now, as he continued to prod her. He needed to know what happened. Had to know to what she did with this guy; why he was so much better.

"So did you make it to his apartment, or did you just screw him right there in the parking lot?"

"NATHAN," Lucas and Peyton yelled form both sides of the table at him.

"Keep your voices down! Jesus," Jake whispered, as people from other tables began looking over at them.

Nathan wasn't prepared to quit. "Tell us Haley. What was it?"

"Nathan stop," Brooke snapped.

"No! I want to know. Did you sleep with him Haley?"

She felt the room begin to spin around  her, as Nathan's eyes observed her frantic own. She took shallow breaths.

"I didn't do anything," she finally confessed, as her mouth began to quiver.  "I wanted to. I tried. But I couldn't stop thinking about you."

His eyes widened.

"Happy now," she yelled at him, pushing her seat backwards, and fleeing the room.

"Nice going Romeo," Brooke gritted out, shooting an evil glare Nathan's way. "I'm gonna go check on her."

Haley sat on the lady room stall, anxiously cracking her knuckles. Of all things to say to Nathan, in front of all of her friends. Why did it have to be that? She didn't know whether she should feel foolish or stupid for her admission. Everything seemed so messed up. And the more everyone tried to fix it, the worse it got.

"Haley are you ok," Brooke called from the other side of the door.

"Define ok?"

Brooke blew out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry about Nathan sweetie. He's a jackass."

"What's new," she gave a defeated shrug.

"Haley?......Why didn't you tell me about the Brad thing? I could've helped."

"Because it was a mistake. The only reason I even started talking to him that night was to make Nathan jealous. It was a stupid, and it backfired on me anyway. Now we're back to square one. He hates me, and I hate him, and that's ........I don't know anymore."

"Maybe you should try talking to him," Brooke offered as she walked into the stall beside Haley's and sat down.

"I have tried, it doesn't make any difference."

"Try again."

"I don't want to Brooke. I just want to go back to the way things were. When my life wasn't so complicated," she added, with false conviction.

"You mean when you sat back and watched life go by," Brooke through back at her.

Most of her life people had called Haley the goody-goody, the girl next door, the dependable one. And she'd just accepted that was her place in life. She was the go-to girl. But she also had dreams of her own. Goals and ambitions that most people didn't even take the time to pay attention too.

"Just because I haven't dated half of the football team, and every frat boy on campus doesn't mean I watch my life go by," Haley yelled threw stone marble walls of the bathroom stall.

Brooke snorted out a sardonic laugh. "You spend so much time hiding from what you want Haley James, you might as well just be watching it!"

"You're wrong," she got up from the seat and pushed out into the open bathroom.

"You're scared," Brooke countered, followed her.

"Well I'd rather be scared than a Sl–," the word died on Haley's lips before she was even able to finish the horror of what she almost said, hit both of them like a ton of bricks.

They stared at each other for a moment before Haley averted her eyes away with uncertainty. Bolting out the door before Brooke could even manage a response.

...............................

The winter night sky had become a drizzling mix of blacks and greys, as raindrops began to fall lightly fall. Nathan stood outside the front doors of the steakhouse, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets as he paced, head down, around the sidewalk. He'd walked back forth on the same patch of concrete for the last twenty minutes, attempting to make any sense he could of Haley's words.

She'd meant them, that he knew. What they meant for them, he did not. He didn't even know if there was a them. Or if there should be.

It was when Nathan has made it to the end of the sidewalk for the hundredth time, that he saw Haley storm of the restaurant. Too busy putting on her coat to see him.

"So you're leaving first this time," he blurted out, trying to get her to stop.

She glanced back at him, and kept moving, ignoring his presence, intent on getting to her car. He ran to right after her.

"Haley wait up!"

"No," she shouted.

"I need to talk to you," he called, coming up in front of her and blocking her way. She tried to move around him but the effort was futile. And so she let her arms fall limp to her sides, as she met his eyes in anger.

"Oh now you want to talk. And see here I thought you didn't have time in your "schedule" to talk to people like me."

"It's not like that," he pleaded.

"Whatever," she shook her head, "I don't want to talk to you Nathan. I don't want to look at you. I don't want to be anywhere near you."

She tried to get to her car, but he wouldn't move. And Haley noticed how much Nathan really did tower over her. He was so much bigger than her, so much stronger, that if he really wanted to make her stay he didn't have to ask, not really.

"I'm sorry ok, I am," he said softly.

"You say that a lot. Does it even mean anything?"

He shifted in front of her, uncomfortable as she watched him. "Things are rough right now for me. And I didn't mean to drag you into it."

Haley looked less that impressed. "I really hope that wasn't suppose to be an apology."

Nathan watched Haley search his face. He knew he needed to explain his behavior, for no other reason than that she deserved the truth. "It's not"

"Then what? What do you want?"

"The truth? I flunked out . Every class...I just stopped going. Didn't see the point really. I thought I was invincible, ya know? Here I was a freshman at Michigan State, playing on the starting line with Seniors, two and three years older than me, who were never gonna get drafted. I thought I could just blow off a class or two. Nobody would care. My coach would cover for me. And he did, in the beginning. Until I stopped going altogether........I got a letter in the mail right before Thanksgiving though. It was from the Dean of Admissions kindly letting me know that I was no longer welcome in the University," Nathan sucked in a breath of air and met Haley's eyes, they were withdrawn, distant "I know that doesn't mean anything to you, but it's my life. And I've fucked it up. Just like my entire family knew I would."

Haley didn't know what to say. Part of her heart broke for him, and also felt rectified as well. Nathan Scott finally getting a taste of his own medicine.  It should've felt more pleasing. But it didn't, it just hurt more really. He looked so lost inside of himself.  Ane she sat on the edge, with no clue of what to do.

"I'm sorry for you Nathan. I am. But you make your own choices. We all do. And maybe you just made the wrong ones this time. I don't know. Either way that doesn't have anything to do with me," she made to him around him, and grabbed on to her arm to stop her.

" I told you because, I'm trying to apologize about......."

"About what? Sleeping with me and then leaving. Treating me like I'm below you? Accusing me of sleeping with Brad when everyone knows you're still screwing Theresa?...... Well don't. Just don't ok. I don't want to hear it," she stood still and waited for him let go of her arm.

He looked to ground, his whole posture sinking with him. He looked childlike in that instant. Almost shy, and vulnerable, a side of him Haley was sure, most people never got to see.

"I'm-I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"Then why did you do it?"

"You hurt me when you left with him. And so I wanted to hurt you," Nathan answered honestly, still grasping her arm, his grip not as tight this time. Haley glanced down at his hand and then back to his face, the reality of the situation becoming rather more confusing than less with Nathan's words.

"I don't get it Nathan. You don't want. You want me. You don't me, or you don't want anyone else to have me? This all too messed up. I can't deal with you or this anymore," Haley shouted, pulling her arm away, and pacing back and forth feverishly.

Nathan watched her quietly as she moved in front of him. Oddly enough, unable to move from his spot on the parking lot. His mind kept reverting back to her outburst at the table.

"But you said you couldn't stop—"

He broke in, but Haley spun around to face him. "I said I couldn't stop thinking about you. But I will."

The words stung more than he thought they would. Unprepared, he supposed for the inescapable rejection she was simply throwing back his way.

"You say that, but how do you know," he challenged.

"Because I know how to be happy," she through back at him.

"And I don't?"

"You may think your so unreadable Nathan. That no one can see what you don't let them see. You'd like to think you have that much control. But you don't. You spend so much time trying to make your parents happy. Trying to be better than Lucas, and everyone else that your completely miserable with yourself. And now you want everyone else to be miserable too."

Nathan's face clouded over as the realization of her words actually hit him. He felt to open in the darkness of the parking lot, her bright eyes observing him. It seemed pointless to argue with her. She 'd already made up her mind about him. And he didn't know where he stood.

Taking a few steps backwards, Nathan glanced to his feet and then back up to her, as she continued to stay near her car. The distance between them felt like an ocean.

Gulping back a breath of air, Nathan shoved his hands back into his pockets were they belonged, and moved back a little more.

"Too bad the only time I wasn't miserable was with you," he uttered softly, not even looking at her, before he turned around and headed back into the restaurant. Haley left in the dark without him once

 again.