Neon Genesis Evangelion (Shin Seiki Evangelion) and all related indicia are copyright © Studio Gainax. This work is fanfiction, and uses elements of this copyright without permission. Its author makes neither profit from the work nor claim to own any of the elements, and survives on a wing, a prayer, and constant supplication to the goodwill of Gainax not to sue him.
The story itself is of my own creation.
Piano Solo (don't ask about the name...) is a continuation fiction to Evangelion. Although it is set up so it can stand on its own, it borrows elements from my previous work, Blue Eyes in a Little Girl, and essentially picks up where that story left off. If you have never read that story, I would advise reading it, since the conditions at the end of Blue Eyes are subtly different from the conclusion of episode 24 of the series. But even if you have never read that piece, Piano Solo should still be comprehensible (inasfar as Evangelion is ever comprehensible) and enjoyable.
3/10/03: I apologize for the unforgivably long delay between the posting of chapters 2 and 3. First I was tinkering with the story, then I let the fic lie fallow for a while, then I tinkered with the story a little more… and time just rolled on. My bad, and I apologize. I won't promise that the same thing won't happen again in the future, since I have a policy of not making promises I can't keep, but I'll try to make sure the delay is shorter. Again, sorry.
~
Chapter 1
The fire-ravaged beast emerges from the conflagration. His name is Gargant, earned by the coals of his eyes and the black rictus of his lips, his fame wrought with the hammer of his ferocity on the anvil of his enemies' lives.
—
'Do not fear to kill me, Ikari Shinji-kun.'
Nagisa Kaworu…
'…loves Ikari Shinji-kun.'
'You are not the one to die, Ikari Shinji-kun.'
'Because of you, I am happy…'
—
"…Ikari Shinji-kun. Ikari-kun?"
"What?" Shinji looked up from his reverie, staring around at the drab classroom and the teacher calling roll. "Oh…I'm here."
How long ago had Kaworu died? It seemed like it must be so long. And yet, barely any time had passed at all. And already, the pilots were back in school, back to their respective façades of—now genuine attempts at—normal lives.
Shinji watched the walls of the classroom, and the teacher's desk, all the same color, the same shape and size and proportions they had been in all his time there. All his time, which had begun with the coming of the first Angel, the first call to action from his father Gendo, the first battle—the first blood shed.
—
Is not the moon the same?
This spring
The spring of old?
Only this body of mine
Is the same body…
—Ariwara no Narihira, Ise Monogatari
—
He could not imagine—could not imagine—all that time ago, which really was so little time at all. And after that first attack, after that first killing. How much more killing had he done? How many others had died because of him? He shook his head as though to clear it, but the images would not disperse. Each frame, each second of stained and tainted life and unlife, burned forever into his memory, not ever to be purged but instead to remain as a testament, until the Last Day when his mind was played out before all humanity, and he was shown for the murderer he was.
The teacher had finished his roll and moved on to other things, but none of them registered with Shinji. His class was short so many people—because of him. So many who had moved away because of the threats of life in Tokyo-3, or who had been inadvertently killed in Angel attacks. And Toji. Suzuhara Toji, who was still in the hospital, who had nearly died at Shinji's hands.
And why? And why?
For him.
****
Sohryu Asuka Langely sat up in her bed, suddenly and violently sick of the hospital scenery, even the seemingly-picturesque view of the lake outside her window. It was the only thing of any color she had had to look at for several weeks now, and it no longer pleased her to sit in silent introspection about the ordeal she had survived.
Whenever she could talk to a doctor she would ask when she would be released, but the answer was always, 'a little longer'; the doctors now seemed overly cautious, not having to rush the pilot back to functionality so she could pilot her Eva.
So why would they want to keep me here? The only reason they even wanted me alive was for that thing.
She looked dejectedly out the window, across the vast expanse of bare earth and water. She remembered the shockwaves of Unit-00's destruction, appreciable to her even hundreds of meters from the blast point. When she had learned what happened she had been stunned, and even more so to find that Rei was not only alive but in very stable physical condition.
A nurse arrived at the ever-open doorway, her footsteps momentarily drawing Asuka away from her thoughts. She came in and nodded to the girl as though she were only accessory to the chart the woman was checking, scrawling numbers on pad as she went.
Without a word to the patient the nurse replaced the chart and went out again, her steps receding down the hall.
Asuka returned her eyes to the window, but her thoughts were gone.
****
Shinji walked despondently out of school. Another day past when he had learned nothing for want of concentration; another day past without Asuka, who was still in the hospital, and without the consolation of Ayanami's presence, for she was in attendance but since her miraculous recovery had been even more reticent than before.
"Hey, Shinji!" Aida Kensuke ran up alongside him, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and trying in vain to keep his frazzled blond hair out of his eyes. Shinji looked up at him briefly, and then back down to the ground before his feet.
"Don't feel like talking today, huh?" Aida said, speaking himself a little too quickly. "I understand. Some days are like that, y'know?" In fact, Aida had noticed that every day seemed to be like that for Ikari Shinji, who had returned to school only recently. Through a few deft computer hacks Kensuke had managed to learn that all seventeen Angels were supposedly dead, rendering the Evangelion project complete as well.
His first reaction had been to be crushed under the notion that he had now lost every chance of piloting one of the heroic machines. It was followed quickly by the guilty recollection that his friend Toji had gotten that chance, and it had all but killed him. And further, the thought of what that chance had done to Shinji, who had always been quiet but now was nearly silent, and Ayanami, who for all intents and purposes existed only to herself, and even Asuka, whom he had not seen in nearly a month, and of whom Shinji was heavily reluctant to speak.
He thought about his knowledge of things military, remembering that a great many people who had lived through war desired never to speak of it, that many never could for shell shock and nightmares.
And so they walked in silence, for one awkward and for the other, habitual.
****
She was not content. The death of the seventeenth Angel had thrown everything into turmoil for everyone. It seemed like it should have been the final mark of peace, but instead it had caused only confusion. All of NERV had very suddenly lost its way, having no visible enemy to battle.
As for Rei, she no longer knew what to do with herself.
I was born—created—to pilot Eva, she mused. And now the threat Eva was born—created—to destroy is gone. And so…
Life had become a series of motions for her now, one day segueing into the next in one unbroken stream of time. Though the pilots had not been officially released from NERV's employ, they had not been called there for some time, either. There had been final batteries of physical and mental testing, and Asuka was still in the hospital ward, but it seemed that for all practical purposes they were now free to live their lives.
Except Rei, for whom NERV was life.
And here I am, tossed aside now that I am no longer useful…only a little doll, to be used and thrown away.
Nobody remarked her silence anymore.
****
Misato sighed and looked around the NERV base. She was there because it was still her job, still her workplace, but there was now so little work to be done. The tech staff, small enough to begin with, had dropped to nearly half its number in regular attendance. She had not seen Ritsuko since her destruction of the dummy system and had no idea where she was—either dead, or rotting her way there in some out-of-the-way prison cell.
Commander Ikari had made himself scarce recently; she had not seen his imposing visage for nearly a week. Even the normally officious Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki was nowhere to be found. Misato imagined they had quite some administrative cleanup to perform, and didn't envy them the task.
She herself had to be content with issuing a few cursory orders here and there, for there was simply nothing for her to say. She had served chiefly as battle commander, and now the battles were over. She still saw Shinji each night, although neither of them talked much any more. She gathered that the death of the last Angel had struck him a hard blow, although she was at a loss to say quite why.
Meanwhile, Asuka was in the hospital for what seemed an interminable amount of time. To Misato, it seemed only the doctors knew what sign of good health they were waiting for, and had no interest in telling anyone else what it was.
And Rei—Misato had not seen Rei for what seemed like a very long time.
****
Ikari Gendo sat in a darkened room, only his desk glowing faintly in the pitch. Around him, surrounding him, were other desks, with other men. The council SEELE, NERV's conniving masters. The sub-commander Fuyutsuki stood at Gendo's shoulder, looking out over the assembly with his characteristic grimness.
"We have been informed of Tabris's death," a slender man remarked. "Quite…impressive."
Gendo merely nodded, his eyes hidden by his spectacles.
"But we have also been informed that he nearly touched off Third Impact," the man continued. "That is less promising news."
Gendo said nothing, no reaction visible in his face or manner.
"We wonder if this is not grounds for the dissolution of NERV."
Finally Gendo spoke.
"It seems NERV has completed its task…and thereby extinguished its own usefulness. Would you not dissolve it anyway?" Despite his words no fear or discontent could be detected in his voice, only the facts of the matter.
The slender man smirked. "You are not altogether useless now that the Angels have been defeated. No indeed…there are other applications for such a powerful organization."
Gendo resumed his silence, but Fuyutsuki knew he would be thinking less of his own organization's power and more of the ever-dwindling budget allotted it.
Lorenz Keel's deep voice rumbled past the other man's proclamation. "We will not eliminate NERV, not yet. But one day you will no doubt outlive the applications we have for you."
"Is that a threat?" Gendo asked, deadpan.
Keel nearly smiled. "No, Ikari. Not a threat. A promise."