Chapter 4
"It seems we have a new transfer student today," the teacher said, progressing laboriously through the words. "Or should I say, an old transfer student…she is returning to Tokyo-3 after some time away."
This wasn't a totally unexpected occurrence; the new student's arrival was not the first time a child who had left Tokyo-3 during the Angel attacks had returned to class.
The teacher motioned toward the door. "Please, come in."
A girl entered, her purple hair contrasting sharply with the subdued blue-and-white school uniform she was wearing. She seemed faintly ambivalent about this place, and understandably; but all who came in this condition hoped somewhere that their fears would be assuaged, unfounded.
"Amamiya Noriko," the teacher announced, and Noriko silently, hesitantly, wrote her name on the board.
Noriko did not recognize any of the faces before her, as if in her absence the entire class had changed. And, in a way, it had. It wasn't just that she didn't know anyone. The atmosphere was different. The air seemed…stagnant. As if all the tension that had accrued during the Angel attacks was still there, unused, now without a home.
"There's a seat open…" the teacher stopped and stared around, though there were so many seats open that Noriko could practically have had her pick. "…there next to Ayanami," the teacher finished at length.
Noriko walked uncertainly toward the desks; the teacher had not pointed out her seat and she was of course unfamiliar with the child named. A scruffy-haired boy caught her eye and nodded toward Rei; Noriko smiled at him in thanks and took her place.
'Ayanami' struck Noriko strangely. She stared straight ahead even as Noriko sat down, not moved in the least by her new neighbor. She did not seem to fidget or even, often, blink, and did not seem inclined to talk. Nonetheless Noriko leaned over and whispered, "Hey." But she received no response.
Noriko was not so much put out as mystified by Rei's lack of acknowledgment. The entire class seemed quiet and downbeat, but Rei was epitome of it all. Part of Noriko secretly wondered if, were Ayanami to be removed from the room, the rest of the class would suddenly animate itself.
"Now," the teacher was saying, "I believe we were on page 215 of our mathematics texts…" As one, the class removed their math books and opened to the page the teacher named, though how many of them were really following along was debatable.
Noriko pushed aside the thought of the mysterious girl next to her, and tried to concentrate on her studies.
Asuka hobbled out of the apartment, still supported almost entirely by her crutches. Misato had gone to work, which was probably just as well, since if she had known Asuka was leaving the apartment unaccompanied and only artificially mobile she probably would have objected.
The day was a beautiful one; a calm, cool breeze blew at intervals and the very fresh air seemed to have a distinct scent to it. The trees wavered slightly under it, but pleasantly, and everywhere people were regretful that they could not be outside to enjoy it.
Asuka did not intend to go far, but even though she was annoyed with the crutches she knew she would have to do quite a bit of work to totally get rid of them. She resolved to walk to the park about a block away from the apartment, rest on one of the benches there, and then start back.
She walked laboriously slowly, and it angered her. She struggled valiantly to keep the frustration in check, but it was not enough to keep her from occasionally cursing roundly at her faux legs.
At length, she reached the park. It was green all around, bordered by trees, the grass kept rich by a strict watering regimen and a devoted groundskeeper. In the dead center of the park was a fountain—nothing elaborate, but it looked good all the same and broke up the verdance of the rest of the area.
Asuka took a seat on a bench a few meters from the fountain and exhaled heavily; it was only then that she realized how hard she was breathing. She watched the fountain, and saw a little boy dance his way in front of it, chasing after a butterfly. His mother followed after, warning him repeatedly not to fall in the water.
A cool breeze swept through and in front of Asuka the grass rustled, behind her was the sibilance of the tree leaves. An old woman hobbled over and sat down on the bench not far from Asuka. She leaned on a cane, and when she sat she braced the cane against the ground and lay her hands on top of it.
"It's good to see a young lady out for a walk," she said, unprovoked.
"If you can call it that," Asuka muttered. She had lain her crutches across her legs, and suddenly became uncomfortably aware of their weight pressing down on her.
"Now, dearie, any little breath of fresh air is good for you," the woman said, smiling. "I try to get out every day and come here, even though it's only a few blocks."
"I didn't even get that far," Asuka said, more to the air than the woman.
The elderly lady laughed, a loud, full laugh. "You shouldn't worry so much, if your crutches are anything to judge by. Little steps turn into long distances over time, dearie."
Asuka nodded, without a word.
The wind stirred, and Asuka's long red hair danced on her shoulders.
The bell sounded its tones and the teacher wheezed, "Class dismissed." There was suddenly the babble of children as they filed excitedly out of the room. As they left, Noriko hurried to catch up with Ayanami, who was among the first to leave.
"Hey!" she said, running up beside Rei. "Hello!"
Rei turned her head and fixed Noriko with her large, unblinking gaze. "Hello." Her voice seemed dry, almost lifeless. Noriko looked back into Rei's eyes: on any other person the stare would have looked vacuous, but with Rei Noriko had the distinct sensation she was being judged, evaluated. "Can I help you?"
Noriko was thrown off by the question. What an unnatural thing to say, Noriko thought. "Well, uhm…" she scrambled for the words. "Looks like we're seatmates now, huh?"
"Yes," Rei replied.
Noriko foundered for a moment, given no way to continue the conversation. She decided to go for a sure ice-breaker.
"What's your favorite TV show?"
"I do not watch TV." Rei did not seemed upset or disdainful, merely factual, and it bothered Noriko all the more.
"Why…why not?"
"My apartment doesn't have one."
"Oh," Noriko said, almost as though disappointed. "Are you poor or something?" Suddenly she stopped, mortified. "I mean! Oh, I…I don't…I didn't…I didn't mean it like that!"
"I see no need for such excesses," Rei said, ignoring Noriko's hurried apologies.
"I…I see," Noriko said. "Then…what do you do in your free time?"
The question seemed to confuse Rei, or at least give her pause. At length she replied uncertainly, "It… It does not matter."
There was an uncomfortable silence between the two. Finally, Rei stopped. "This is my building," she said, and went in, leaving Noriko on the street. Noriko looked around at the dingy urban surroundings, and for the first time noticed the near-constant clanging of construction machines in the background. She wondered how Rei ever concentrated with that kind of noise going non-stop.
She also realized she did not know the way home.
Shinji left school alone.
He had noticed Ayanami leaving, and had seen the new girl running to catch up with her. He had not seen if she succeeded. He wondered if they knew each other from before the new girl left, or if there was some reason the transfer might want to the speak to the silent girl.
Shinji himself had been all but unable to speak to Ayanami after Ritsuko had revealed to him what Rei truly was. Now Shinji was at an impasse. Clearly, the Ayanami who walked the school grounds today did not remember who Shiniji was, except in the most factual way.
But Shinji had seen Dr. Akagi destroy the dummy project with his own eyes. This was the only Rei left—if Shinji attempted to rebuild his relationship with the other Ayanami with this new one, then he could know that for better or for worse, he would never have to do so again.
And yet he could not bring himself to speak to her; it took all of his strength merely to look at her. If the second Ayanami had been distant, this one was completely removed, where the previous Rei had seemed emotionless, this one seemed almost cold.
Shinji turned street corners and walked what seemed like a long way. He wanted to go to the NERV hospital wing to see Toji. He had not heard anything about Toji for quite some time, and staff members were evasive about answering his questions.
The giant shining pyramid of NERV headquarters rose before Shinji. He shivered, its image reminding him afresh of the horrible deeds he had perpetrated there. Nonetheless he summoned his resolve and walked inside, going to the hospital he knew so well.
As he walked down the corridor to his friend's room, he was met by a doctor accompanying a young man the other way. Shinji stopped and gaped: the young man was Toji.
"T…Toji!" Shinji stammered.
"Hey, Shinji!" Toji said jovially. "I wondered if I'd ever see your mug around here again!"
Toji seemed to be in amazingly good health for the injuries he had sustained at the controls of EVA-05.
"How did they heal you like that?" Shinji asked, his mouth still hanging slightly open.
"Well," Toji said as if embarrassed, "a lot of stitches. But most of the really serious stuff was on the inside. I had, like, three different transplants." Shinji started, the doctor next to Toji said nothing.
"But they never told me you were being released," Shinji went on. "Why are they letting you out?"
"Oh, the medical staff decided I was doing well enough to be treated on an outpatient basis if necessary." The words suggested he had learned them by rote, and he shook his head at Shinji as if to say 'There's more to the story'.
The doctor led Toji, now accompanied by Shinji, to the front door of NERV headquarters, where he signed a bevy of forms at the desk at then pointed to the door. "Can you get home?" he asked.
"I'll go with him," Shinji offered, and the doctor merely nodded and walked back the way they had come. Shinji and Toji went the other way, back out into the bright sunlight.
"That was weird," Shinji said once they were outside. "I've never seen a doctor just leave a patient like that."
Toji nodded. "Lemme tell you the truth," he said. "But it's off the record, okay? I don't know just why they're doing this, but they're not letting me out because I'm fine and dandy. I mean—I am, really, I'm fine," he backpedaled, seeing Shinji's fearful expression. "Nothing real bad should happen from here on out. But I think the real reason they're letting me go is because they can't afford it anymore. I'm costing them too much."
Shinji nodded, then summoned his voice. "But…then…what about your sister? Can't they take care of her, either?"
Toji suddenly became very grave. "Yeah," he murmured, "funny thing about her…she, ah…she's dead."
Shinji stopped in his tracks. "What?"
"Yeah…it was a couple of weeks ago. They thought they'd fixed her all up, and they let her out a long time ago. But it turns out something gave her some kind of weird concussion. They never really explained it to me, but…I guess something happened in her head that they never noticed and didn't fix. And it came back and got her."
For a moment Shinji could barely catch his breath. "I…I…I'm so sorry, Toji…" And mentally Shinji added another life to the list of those he'd taken, those who had died for his crusade.
"Shinji, y' couldn't've done anything about it," Toji said, not looking at him. "I know I got mad at you back when you came here, but…but it wasn't your fault. It really wasn't." He stopped as his voice cracked. He forced himself to continue. "But I can't help but wonder…if it wasn't, y'know…some… life-for-a-life kind of thing. And…And I wish to God it would've been me instead."
Shinji put his hand uncertainly on his friend's shoulder. "I know what you mean," he said truthfully.
Shinji had seen Toji safely home—he really did seem all right—and Toji had invited his friend in for a desultory snack of tea and crackers. Toji's parents had not been home ("Even they don't know I'm being let out…oughta be a surprise for them," Toji had said) and after ten minutes or so of sitting in awkward silence Shinji had done his best to take his leave with grace.
Now it was midafternoon bordering on evening and Shinji was back at his own apartment complex, staring up at the massive building with the countless windows which stared out of it, like a hundred thousand eyes all watching the city, all watching him.
Anxious to escape their gaze, Shinji hurried inside, but there he stopped again and leaned against the wall as though too tired to go on. Toji's sister is dead, he kept repeating, as though he couldn't accept and internalize the fact. It simply kept saying itself over and over and over, ringing like a mantra until the words lost all meaning and Shinji was simply staring numbly into the wall across from his.
His reverie was suddenly interrupted by the door opening. He looked up: the new girl had arrived.
"Oh, h…hi," he said, pulling his weight away from the wall and back onto his feet. "I…I didn't know you lived here."
Noriko smiled uncertainly. "Yeah, I…I didn't know you lived here, either."
They stared at each other for a moment as though taking each other in, then Noriko offered, "I'm Noriko…what's your name?"
"Ikari Shinji," Shinji replied, and bowed unsteadily. "Pleased to meet you."
"Pleased to meet you," Noriko echoed, and also bowed. "Say," she said, remembering, "I think I heard about you…"
Here it comes, Shinji thought to himself, she knows about Eva and the Angels and all the terrible things I've done…
"My family met a woman when we were looking for our apartment the other day, she mentioned someone named Shinji…"
"Huh?" Shinji said, surprised. "You mean you've already met Misato?"
"Is that her name?" Noriko asked.
"Well…I guess I don't know if there are other Shinjis in here," Shinji replied, his social anxieties catching up with him again.
"I'll bet it was you," Noriko said, trying to lift his spirits. "She said you were about my age."
"Oh…" Shinji said only. There was another uncomfortable silence.
"So, what did you do after school?" Noriko asked, trying to jump-start the conversation.
"Oh, I was just…to see a friend," Shinji replied morosely, and Noriko could tell by his face that she'd said something wrong. She was saved from having to come up with something else when Shinji continued, "I saw you running after Ayanami when we left…did you catch up with her?"
"I…I did," Noriko said, remembering the distant girl she had spoken to that afternoon.
"What did you talk about?" Shinji asked. Coming from anyone else Noriko would have thought he was prying, but Shinji's voice was so guileless that she couldn't help but answer.
"Well, not much…she doesn't seem like a very talkative person, you know?"
"Yeah…I know," Shinji replied, and Noriko knew that he meant it.
"But…I'd like to get to know her," Noriko said, trying to sound spirited.
"Me too," Shinji said, with an almost imperceptible nod. "She's hard to get to know, though."
"It looks like it," Noriko agreed. "But I'll bet she's really nice when you get to know her."
"I guess," Shinji said. "I…I don't know her that well, either."
"That's too bad," Noriko said. "Maybe between us we can help her open up."
"Maybe," Shinji said.
The talking stopped for a moment.
"Uhm, look," Noriko said, stepping forward a little, "I've got to help make dinner tonight, so I should get going…see you tomorrow," she said, smiling as best she could.
Shinji tried valiantly to return the gesture. "Okay," he said. "See you tomorrow."
Noriko walked by him and took the first elevator that came. Shinji stood a moment longer and then, the apathy that had consumed him earlier lifted, he too ascended to his home.
"It seems one of our operatives has gone missing," Gendo said dryly.
Fuyutsuki, standing before him, across the vast desk, gazed at him. "Yes, sir."
"I told you not to go looking for that computer."
"I know, sir."
Gendo snorted derisively. "You're dismissed, Kozo."
"Yes, sir." Fuyutsuki left the room. He knew that if he were any other one of the Commander's subordinates, his head would have been mounted on a pike outside Gendo's office. Instead he had come out quite intact, and without even the dressing-down he had expected. Something told him that Gendo had secretly wanted to search for SEELE's fabled computer himself, but had never had an excuse to do so.
"Glad I could be of service, sir," he muttered to the air.
In a black room, black statues stood and held conference. The space was illuminated only by the glowing, blood-colored letters on the statues: SEELE.
"Ikari is testing us," the third statue said, "sending his spies to look for things he should not try to find."
"No," the second statue refuted, "Ikari would never do anything so rash—even he. It must have been without his knowledge."
"Without his explicit knowledge," another obelisk corrected.
"All the same, it means somebody is trying to investigate us." Keel's voice emanated from the statue marked 01. "Let us make certain that all of our security is quite tight."
"Agreed," several others said.
"And now, to business," Keel continued. "The mass-production units are on-schedule."
It was a statement. All of the others volunteered prefunctory confirmations.
"Then we will soon have all the machinery necessary to bring about the Promised Day," the first statue said. "But there is one thing which we still lack."
"The Lance."
"Precisely. The Lance is still in lunar orbit and shows no sign of breaking free at the moment."
"Well, what shall we do?" The fourth statue seemed amost plantive.
"Perhaps we can create some kind of space craft which can retrieve it," another volunteered.
"No, no," a third objected. "Such a thing could never be made. The Lance is huge, and I think that no space carrier vessel could successfully bring it back to Earth, especially with the utter secrecy which we would require."
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," Keel said, his deep, throaty voice cutting through the intensifying debate. "I think you are all grossly underestimating the Lance's capacity to act under its own volition."
"What do you mean?" the second statue asked, as if suspicious.
"What I mean," Keel said, "is that the Lance of Longinus is inextricably linked with the Evangelions. When eight separate Evangelion units are activated at once, I believe that the Lance will return to Earth of its own accord. You might say that the 'gravity' produced by the Evangelions will be so strong that it cannot resist returning."
"How can you be sure that this will work?" The second statue again.
"I cannot," Keel said, and it was the truth. "But it seems there are no better ideas, and if we are to effect the Promised Day then we must somehow bring the Lance back under our control."
There was silence from the others.
"Then," Keel said, "this meeting is adjourned."