So here's a long update for you. Hope you all like, and don't forget to leave feedback, it helps me more than you know!!!
TOXIC
Chapter 26
The Shape of Things
Haley sat at one of the white tables near the edge of the lawn by herself. She ran her finger along the rim of her crystal wine glass over and over again, watching as the light reflected through the crystal making a beautiful rainbow pattern on top of the white silk table cloth. She couldn't remember how long she'd been sitting alone, just that now she was feeling rather bored and lonesome. The sun beat down upon her face turning it a little pink with flush, and she was grateful for remembering her sunglasses for once.
She watched as Brooke approached her table from where the main tent was set up just outside the country club. It was a magnificent set up to say the least. Pristine white tents covered the green manicured lawn. Small and large groups of people milled around, chatting with each other in their chic summer dresses and suits. It felt like something right out of The Great Gatsby, with it's elegant setting and people. But Haley couldn't seem to shake the feeling that despite its beauty it all felt like just a spectacular illusion.........
For the moment though she was happy for a reprieve from her dreary thoughts, as friend came to join her. Although the look on Brooke's face would have shown otherwise.
"If I have to watch Kelly Thomas try to throw herself at Lucas one more time I might just have to claw her little beady eyes out," Brooke growled as she took a seat next to Haley, Brooke usually didn't mind a little competition now and then. Most of the time she thrived on it, but when it came to Lucas, she didn't want to play any games.
"Yeah I was watching her, it's quite amusing," Haley said teasingly. In truth, Kelly had been throwing herself at Lucas all day, but it wasn't that unusual of an occurrence. Kelly was always trying to find the new hot boy of the day, and apparently Lucas had won that contest the moment he stepped out into the party. Brooke didn't find it humorous however.
"Amusing? Ha! I swear I hate that little ho-bag. She always does this to me. The second I meet a guy she suddenly discovers that they have so much in common. Like it isn't obvious what she's trying to do."
"He doesn't even notice her Brooke, "Haley placated. "He's too busy making sure all the other guys here don't look at you. Really I wouldn't worry about it."
Brooke smiled at Haley's words, trying to let them clam her down. No matter what anyone said, Haley could always make you see the good out of a bad situation. It was a quality many people found very attractive in her, and a reason, Brooke figured, was why Nathan was so drawn to her in the first place.
"As long as she keeps her hands, feet and body away from either of the Scott boys, I don't really care what she, or anyone else does," Brooke leaned back in her chair more relaxed now. She ran a handover her shoulder pulling the hair behind her back so that the sun was hitting her naked collarbone.
Haley laughed at how easily Brooke could go from nuclear to calm in 60 seconds flat, and you would never be able to tell the difference. She wished she could brush things off that easily as well, because this whole party atmosphere was making her more uncomfortable by the moment, especially since she hadn't a clue to where Nathan had gone off too.
"Speaking of the Scott boys, have you seen Nathan around? He said he was going to get a refill on his drink. That was like 20 minutes ago," Haley looked to the tents to see is she could find his dark head above any others.
Brooke turned to look too. "He's probably schmoozing with his fathers' friends. Don't worry he'll be back around," she assured the other girl with ease. Haley wondered how Brooke seemingly took all of this in stride, like it was so simple. Every muscle in her body felt tense, she felt like every move she made was being scrutinized in some way. It was not as easy as it appeared, and Haley could see how people would spend their lives always coming to these parties. It was all about prestige, and showing off what you had. The second you got your foot up on the latter, the person behind you climbed up two more steps. You were perpetually above and behind someone, always wanting to be higher and never quite getting there. It was all consuming. And Haley couldn't comprehend how they all did it, or how they even tried.
"How do you do it Brooke. How do you stay so calm? You fit in so well here," she told her friend, while continuing to mess with her glass.. Brooke sat up in her seat a bit, grabbing her drink from off the table and taking a small sip.
"It's all about faking it babe. You just gotta paste on the plastic smile and blank look and remember to nos and laugh at all the right jokes."
"You make it sound so easy."
"You'll get better at it," Brooke waved at her. "It just takes time."
That was the point right there. Haley wasn't so sure being fake was something she wanted to get good at. Parties like these always appeared so wonderful on the outside, but on the inside you never really got any enjoyment out of them. You couldn't, because you were too busy making it seem like you were having a good time to actually have one. It was like a vicious cycle, and Haley was afraid to get caught in it.
"I suppose......So anyway, where's Lucas at," Haley changed the subject onto something more agreeable.
Brooke picked up on the topic right away, that silly grin coming across her face again at the mention of him. He's discussing basketball with one of his fathers' friends. Where else? He told me to come back for him in 10 minutes, but I think I might just let him suffer a little while longer, since he left me alone with Theresa and Tim. when we first got here. Which by the way, never a good combination."
Haley giggled at the look of annoyance on Brooke's face. "Yeah I'll take your word for it."
They sat in silence for a while, letting the sun and cool wind wash over them. It was a rare occasion when either of them found the time to just hang out anymore.
"Hey you want to get something to eat? I heard they started serving food a couple minutes ago."
Haley half shrugged. Her stomach had been in knots al day, and the thought of food right then sounded extremely unappealing. "No, I'm not really hungry."
"Well at least come with me to get something to drink. Since Nathan seems to have disappeared."
Haley smiled at her best friends and nodded. Both girls traveled back to the main tent where a small bar sat underneath it. Brooke walked up to the bar and started ordering a drink while Haley stayed a few feet behind. She felt a warm hand come up on her back and she looked up to see Nathan standing beside her.
"Having fun yet," he grinned, and Haley had to stifle a moan. He looked absolutely gorgeous today. He wore a white cotton button down shirt, with his collar unbutton just at the top to reveal a small expanse of tanned skin. His light khaki pants clung around his waist, but fell nicely over his bottom and legs. His hair was slightly gelled causing the rest of his already handsome facial features to stand out strikingly against the white of his shirt. It made Haley's breath hitch in her throat the way he smiled down at her.
She looked down at her own light blue sun dress, and wavy hair, and somehow felt inadequate standing next to him.
"Bundles," she clipped out dryly, causing Nathan chuckled lightly.
"Alright, how 'bout we try that once more with feeling."
She wanted to be happy for him today, she really did. But the harder she tried to be, the more she wanted to just retreat back into that safe shell of sarcasm and wit that always felt the most comfortable.
"I'm sorry Nathan. I just feel a little out of place you know? Plus I'm not that sociable—"
"Haley you're one of the nicest people I've ever met. Just start talking with someone and I know they'll fall in love with you," Nathan brought his arm up around her shoulders and gave it a slight squeeze. She wasn't used to him being quite so affectionate with her. It felt strange, and not in a bad way.
"You seem awfully confident about that," she smiled at him, as Brooke came back up to where they were standing, Lucas with her this time.
"What can I say," Nathan shrugged with a grin. "I know what I know."
"Hey, were getting ready to leave, you guys coming with," Lucas asked as he Brooke joined them in the middle of then tent.
Nathan looked to Haley, and then back at his brother. "In a little while. Dad said something about talking to me before I left so........"
Lucas nodded, knowing how their father could be about his parties and his friends. It wasn't a party for Dan Scott, if he couldn't promote both of his sons to each and every successful man in a 30-foot radius.
"Me and Brooke are going over to her apartment, so maybe we'll see you later."
"Call me if you need anything," Brooke said, looking Haley in the eyes.
The smaller girl nodded, and attempted a smile. Her and Nathan watched as Brooke and Lucas disappeared into the building. They stood for a moment unsure of what to do when small older blonde women came up to them.
"Excuse me for a second," she said in reference to Haley. "Nathan your Father wants you to meet someone. He asked me to get you. He's over by the fountain."
Nathan audibly groaned, tired of his father for the afternoon. "Again? He just paraded me around for the last half and hour. I'd like to spend time with my own guest Mom."
The blond woman seemed to take more notice of the girl beside her son this time, and turned her body so that she facing both of them, a bright smile on her face.
"I'm sorry for my rudeness sweet heart. But my son here must have forgotten his manners, by not introducing us," she through a nagging look Nathan's way.
Nathan glanced back and forth dumbly between the two women until he caught onto what his mother was suggesting he do. When he picked up on what she wanted he waved his hand out gesturing to his mother first. " Haley this is my Mom Debra Scott. Mom, this my........Haley." Nathan stalled on her name, not sure what to call her. What was appropriate or not. He continued on quickly. "You remember. I told you about her. She's the one tutoring me."
Deb nodded," Oh yes, of course. Yes I remember now. It's nice to meet you again Haley. I think we've met before."
"Just once, when I came by your house with Lucas," Haley replied softly.
"That's right. I thought I recognized you. So, you're a friend of Lucas's as well?"
"You could say that."
Deb was pleased with this information."Well I'm glad by boys have a mutual friend. Maybe you can keep tabs on them for me."
"Mom," Nathan cut in, and both women laughed. He always did look rather adorable when he was embarrassed.
"I'll certainly try my best Mrs. Scott," Haley giggled.
Out of nowhere they all heard Dan Scotts menacing voice a few yards behind them, He was flagging over Nathan as he called his name. Nathan sighed long and heavy, as if he was returning to prison.
"I'll be back in a couple minutes all right," he asked her more than told her. Haley simply nodded and smiled.
"Have you and Nathan been friends for long, Deb asked when Nathan was out of ear shot.
"Not really. We just sort of fell into it out circumstance, I guess you could say."
"Well I'm grateful either way. For your help with his grades and his happiness."
Haley wasn't prepared for something like that to come out Deb Scott's mouth. It meant more than she would've like to have admitted.
"Thanks."
Deb seemed to take that one word of gratitude in stride and smiled warmly down at the younger woman. "Now if you'll excuse me again, I think I might have to go save my husband from himself."
"It was nice to meet you again Mrs. Scott," Haley said, shaking the other woman's hand lightly.
"You to Haley."
Haley watched as Deb treaded over to Dan in the large group he was standing in, giving Nathan just enough time to excuse himself from everyone. It was in that instant that Haley knew no matter how flawed Deb Scott could be, Nathan at least had someone like her in his life to depend on.
"Hey you ready to get that drink now," Nathan asked her, his demeanor much happier now that he was away from his father.
"Sure," she nodded, following his lead back to the bar.
"At least this way we can pretend to be doing something productive, right," he teased, and noticed her unknowing blanch at the topic. She'd looked uncomfortable since the moment they'd walked into together. He couldn't tell if it was from the stares they got from him bringing someone new, or if she just didn't know what to do with herself. Most of the time Nathan didn't know what to with himself when he was at these parties, and he'd grown up around them.
Still, he wanted to make her comfortable as possible, and he was bound and determined to make that happen.
"Brooke told me their serving food in the dining hall too," Haley offered, and Nathan saw this as his chance to finally get them alone.
"Are you ready to eat," he turned back toward her.
Haley wrapped her arms around her stomach, those nervous butterflies still, occupying most of the space. "Mmm, not really. But I could stand to get out of the sun for a little while though."
"Just follow me then," Nathan placed out his hand and Haley tentatively took it. He lead her forward back too inside the club dining hall. "I know this little spot in the corner where we could.....why are you giving me that look?"
"What look," Haley asked when he stopped mid-sentence.
"That look, right there, " Nathan pointed to her face, her quirked up eyebrows and grin. "Like I'm suggesting something improper. When I merely offered to get you away from the madness."
"I.........never mind let's go," Haley was at a loss for words. She had no doubt in her mind that she'd given Nathan a look when he'd made his comment, but he hadn't implied anything, she just assumed. And what was even worse was that she wasn't at all put off by the thought of him proposing something. In fact a part of her missed the old cocky Nathan. The take charge guy, that took control of the situation, when she didn't want too. It felt like a back forth battle with what she wanted and what she though she wanted, and it wasn't fair to him. Nothing it seemed was fair when it involved either of them.
Nathan shrugged off Haley's response and continued to lead her into the dining hall. They made it through the second set of doors when a group of middle-aged women stopped in front of them. One in particular coming up to them, that unfailing plastic smile plastered on her face.
"Nathan Scott, is that you? Come here and let me get a good look at you," she yapped, taking Nathan by the arms, making his drop Haley's hand. He could feel her reluctant to let go, which drove him to widen his smile.
"How re you doing Mrs. Parish," he asked like this was something he had to do every day.
The older woman pulled one of her hands back to mess with her hair. She obviously wanted impress Nathan with her looks. Why she bothered, he didn't know or care.
"Wonderful darling, thank you for asking. But my you've grown even taller since last year I believe," she stepped back to survey his entire height, noticing Haley only by accident then. She forced her smile even wider at this, her straight white teeth glaring back at Haley. "And I see you have a lovely new girl with you."
"Mrs. Parish, Haley James," he introduced them, and watched as they delicately shook hands.
"Nice to meet you Ma'am," Haley tried to be as cordial as possible, despite her desperate want to just be away from all these people. It was too late though, Haley could feel this woman's eyes on her like pirana.
"James......I'm not very familiar with that name. Are you new to this town," the woman asked her flippantly.
"No I've lived her my whole life," Haley answered back the same.
Nathan's eyes traveled back and forth between them, not sure what to do.
"Really... that's interesting. I swear I would remember such a pretty girl like you. Who does your father work for?"
And there it was. The question she'd waited for all day. The one of many reasons that her and Nathan would never fit in this place, not with these people.
"The school district," Haley replied, trying to side track her away from the topic. She desperately wanted to look for Nathan for help, but what could he do? He couldn't save her from the truth.
The other woman placed her hand on her hip, tapping her finger on her chin like she was thinking. "He's and administrator then, I'm sure. Although I don't believe there are any James's on the board," she rattled off. Haley looked straight into her eyes, her body tense, as she tried to appear obliging.
"That's because he's a janitor Mrs. Parish," Haley spoke, and watched as the woman's face went from jealous and inviting to cold and insolent in a matter of seconds.
Without a second glance the woman turned back to Nathan, and smiled. "So Nathan, how's you Mother been? I haven't been able to talk to her all day?"
Nathan wanted to tell the old woman to go shove it. He couldn't though, and all three of them knew it. Which left Haley with that same sickening feeling again. The one that told her how bad this was all going to end. Because she was Haley James, and he was Nathan Scott.
"She's doing pretty good. She just signed up for this......" Nathan began speaking and felt Haley slowly backing away from his side.
"Excuse me," she almost whispered and turned around and headed toward the doors.
Nathan paused, watching as she started to leave. He wanted to kick himself for letting the conversation get as far as it did. He knew she didn't deal well with people acting too superior to others. It was a trait he'd come to admire in her, above many others. Haley always tried to be equal to each and every person she met. It took a lot for her not to like you, and that usually meant you weren't worth liking in the first place.
Letting her leave now would only push them farther away, and Nathan was not going to let that happen. He'd spent too much time being careful, watching what he said, how he acted, trying to make sure he wouldn't hurt her again. But it wasn't getting them anywhere. They weren't moving forward.
"I have to...."Nathan began, and rushed after Haley out the door. He caught up with her when she was half way through the main hall. It was quiet, and his voice echoed as he called out her name.
"Haley! Wait a minute. Where are you going," he ran up beside her as she continued out to the parking lot.
"I knew I shouldn't of come here," she rambled off. "I knew it would be a mistake."
"Haley what are you talking about," he breathed, as he walked beside her quickly.
She stopped once they were outside, the sun blinding her uncovered eyes, but she didn't care. "This Nathan," she motioned to everything. "This whole place. You and me. All of it. I can't be this plastic person for you. I can't pretend to be something I'm not."
"I never asked you too," he gave her an angry look.
"Yes you did. By asking me to come here. It was like you wanted to prove to all your friends and family that they can't control you anymore. And that's great Nathan, I'm glad you're finally standing up for your self. But did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't want to be you catalyst?"
"And did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason I asked you to come, was because I just wanted you to come?"
He through a question back at her question, neither of them really answering either nor denying either. Haley felt like she was in some horrible limbo. Why couldn't he just say what he meant? Because there was so much at stake that was why, and neither of them wanted to risk what it would cost to take that first step forward.
Nathan could see the defeat in her eyes as she came up to him. He could see it when she grabbed a hold of his hand, and rubbed her thumb over it softly.
"I should go," she spoke softly, resolutely, and Nathan could so easily let her go. It would make everything more simple to just say goodbye right then and there.
He didn't want to go back to that life before. It was boring and dull, and empty. Nothing meant anything, because there way nothing at risk to lose. But there was never anything there to gain either. Nathan saw Haley begin to pull her hand away and he held onto it. She looked up at him ready to speak and shook his head.
"Don't......please. One of us is always running away, and I hate it," he looked down at her and then away back to the club, his mind wandering. "You know I was standing there listening to Bill Fisher talk about his stupid sail boat. Every year he tells me about this stupid boat. Every single year. Like I'd forget or something. And it always bores the Hell out me, because I know I have to laugh and be polite or else my father will never let it go. So I'm standing there, listening to this man talk about his boat, and I'm not thinking about how bored I am, or how much I want to leave. I'm thinking how I really wish you were standing there with me, listening to this old guy spout about the difference between rigs and rail, because I know you'd get a kick out of it. I'm thinking I've never had this much fun at one of these stupid parties before. I'm thinking, I want you by my side."
Haley stood speechless, unsure of what to say at his confession. She knew he was waiting for her to respond, but her mind was racing at his words, she couldn't think.
"Nathan I......." the words died on her mouth. She felt that if she didn't speak soon he might just walk away, and she'd lose this chance forever, her heart rate quickened, and still she thought of nothing, accept his words: I want you by my side.
He dropped her hand then, but didn't move away, just stared down at her waiting, not expecting.. "Nathan I don't know what to say," she said honestly, afraid of what he was going to do next.
Nathan simply grasped her other hand, linking it with his own. "Say you'll come back inside with me," he smiled down at her. "I want you to meet my uncle Keith."
"Ok," she nodded, all her earlier insecurities dissipating for the time being as they walked back in through the glass doors, this time together.