Ok here's the new update, again sorry for the long wait. I know I suck at updating. Despite my suckiness you guys have been great with the reviews lately and I love it love it love it!! Big hugs and kisses all around!!!

TOXIC

Chapter 27

As Long As You Follow

".....the most important reason for going from one place to another is to see what's in between, and they took great pleasure in doing just that. Then one day someone discovered that if you walked as fast as possible and looked at nothing but your shoes you would arrive at your destination much more quickly. Soon everyone was doing it. They all rushed down the avenues and hurried along the boulevards seeing nothing of the wonders and beauties of their city as they went.

No one paid any attention to how things looked, and as they moved faster and faster everything grew uglier and dirtier, and as everything grew uglier and dirtier they moved faster and faster, and at last a very strange thing began to happen. Because nobody cared, the city slowly began to disappear. Day by day the buildings grew fainter and fainter, and the streets faded away, until at last it was entirely invisible. There was nothing to see at all."

Haley flipped another page in her book when she heard an outside voice asking her a question.

"Whatcha reading," Brooke asked as she came into Haley's bedroom and plopped down beside her on her bed.

Haley didn't even hesitate to stop reading, just turned the book cover to the side so that Brooke could see it clearly.

"The Phantom Tollbooth," Brooke read aloud, squinting at the book as if it was some foreign object. "Sounds weird. Is it any good?"

"It's all right," Haley mumbled, still trying to read through her talking. She wasn't entirely ready to deal with whatever the outside world had to offer at the moment. But noticing Brooke she could tell she really didn't have a choice.

Scooting closer to her on the bed Brooke sat waiting for her like an expectant puppy who wants its daily pat on the head and scratch behind the ears. With a heavy sigh, and knowing that this visit to her room meant Brooke was wanting something from her now, Haley took her book mark and placed it in between the pages. She dropped it down by her side, and then turned back to her friend, now willing to give her full attention.

"So what's up?"

"Not much," Brooke shrugged nonchalantly, picking at her manicured nails. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to come to the beach with us?"

"For what?"

"A picnic," Brooke answered, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Haley chuckled, and pushed herself more upright on the bed. "You do realize it's nine o'clock at night right?"

Brooke finished picking at her thumbnail, and looked up at Haley unaffectedly. "Yeah, what's your point?"

Now Haley was used to Brooke and her spontaneous adventures, but they usually consisted of the party or shopping variety, not that of nature. Although despite her reservation Haley realized that her, Brooke, and Peyton hadn't spent much time together since summer had begun. Especially since the return of  Luke and Jake. Still though.....

"It's kind of late for the three of us to have a picnic on the beach at night, alone, don't you think?"

"Oh but we won't be alone. The boys will be there," Brooke stated, and lowered her voice a little so that Haley could hear her faintly. "Nathan will be there."

At the mention of his name, Haley could feel herself involuntarily begin to smile. It wasn't something she wanted to let anybody see. The effect he was having on her, or maybe always had, had on her was becoming glaringly obvious. Every time she thought of him, anything about him, anything related to him, her mouth would turn up into that goofy grin. She'd caught herself doing it about a month ago. She'd be grading his homework, and realized he'd gotten most of the problems right, and she would feel this wave of joy come over her at the thought of how well he'd done, and how she'd get to talk to him about it the next day. No one ever noticed her smiling when she was alone in her room, or in the tutoring center. It was just something she could avoid, and not think about. But lately the more she was around him, the more time she spent with him, and her other friends, the less she was able to or even wanted to hide it. That and plus, she'd never really been able to hide her feelings for Nathan from Brooke. Not even in the beginning.

"See, and that's why your coming," Brooke pointed to Haley's face, as she attempted to cover up her smile. "Don't even try to deny that you want to see him because I know you do. Now get up and get ready, you've got 15 minutes," Brooke declared,  moving up off Haley's bed. She headed out toward the door when Haley called to her quietly.

"Hey Brooke?"

"Yeah," she turned in the doorway, her arms crossed over her body, as she waited for Haley's question. Her face softening when she saw Haley become more serious.

Haley bit at her bottom lip a little, shifting her position on the bed uncomfortably. "Am I doing the right thing?"

To anyone else that sort of question would have appeared out of thin air. But Brooke knew what Haley meant. She wanted to know if she was doing the right thing with Nathan. If she was being stupid by letting him back into her life after he'd hurt so badly. There was no easy answer, not one that Brooke could give her, and both girls knew that. Sometimes though, you just need to ask a friend. She understood that as well.

"Are you scared," Brooke asked her in return.

Haley nodded softly, sucking in a breath of air as she did so. "Yes."

"Then there's your answer," Brooke nodded back at her with reassuring smile, and then headed back to her own room to change.

It was nearly an hour later when everybody congregated at the beach by Nathan and Lucas's beach house. Jake, Peyton, Luke , Brooke and Nathan all sat around in the dark by a pile of sticks far enough from the water that it couldn't touch them. Nathan watched as Haley waded across the shoreline a few yards away, the water coming up to her ankles and then heading back out again. There was a soft warm breeze blowing over all of them, and the night sky was clear and black against the millions of white stars that sparkled above. It was serenely quiet, all accept for one man's angry grunts.

"Dammit, why isn't this working," Jake growled, as he flicked his lighter open once again and tried to light the pile of sticks in front of him. Peyton and Brooke had suggested they try to light some kind of fire for them all to sit around so that they weren't just hanging around in the dark. The boys had agreed it was a good idea up until they were ordered to go find sticks and actually construct the fire itself. Now they were tired and frustrated and no closer too actually having a fire than they were 30 minutes before.

"Maybe because you didn't pile the sticks like I told you to," Peyton said, coming up beside him, and rearranging the sticks so that they lay in crisscross pattern over one another rather than just a huge jumbled pile.

"Why does it matter," Luke asked, from where he sat on the blanket by Brooke.

Peyton shook her head and laughed at them both. "If you don't have the sticks crossing each other like this," she said holding up two sticks in a T position. "then there's no way the oxygen can get through so that the fire can get started. Man, I thought you guys were supposed to know how to do this stuff."

"Yeah , don't you learn this crap in Boy Scouts," Brooke added, and squirmed when Lucas started tickling her side.

"I never did Boy Scouts," Jake shrugged and chuckled when he saw Peyton's look of I-should-of known.

Both girls then turned to Nathan, who was more than anything the most macho guy of the group. At first he looked like a deer caught in head lights, but sort of just shrugged it off. "Hey, don't look at me.  I was always too busy with basketball."

"Me too," Luke furthered, when he felt Brooke eyeing him. She in turn poked him in his side and he just batted her away.

"I did a little league," Jake through in his own defense, and the entire group erupted into a soft laughter.

"This is pathetic. Here give me the lighter," Peyton grabbed the lighter from Jake and squatted down by the pile to give her  try at lighting the fire. She flicked her thumb over the metal on the lighter until it finally stayed lit long enough to hold to the wood. This time it caught on at the edge of one of the sticks though, and quickly began to spread over the whole pile. Brooke looked at her friend and boyfriend as if the entirety of woman kind had just made a huge step forward.

"You go to it Peyt. You show those stupid boys."

"Hey, we are not stupid," Luke waved his arm around, and waited for some brotherly back up.

"Just a little incompetent," Peyton teased, standing up and going over to Jake to hand him back his lighter.

Jake grabbed at his chest mockingly, and came around the fire toward the blonde."Ouch, that's hurtful Peyton."

"And also true," she pointed at his chest. He shook his head and laughed, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to him so that he could press his lips against hers. She fell into his embrace easily, the softness of his mouth lulling her to wrap her arms around her neck. He broke it off too quickly though for her own liking and leaned against her face to whisper into her ear.

"Only when it comes to making bonfires," he breathed huskily, and Peyton pulled back away from him, smacking him on the arm and laughing.

Nathan watched Peyton and Jake continue to play with each other back and forth, leaving him the fifth wheel once again and filling him with the need to go be with Haley. Neither of them had really talked much since they'd all arrived and he was unsure of what to do now. He'd finally taken some initiative between them, and told her how he felt, and because of it the rest of the party had been fun. They'd talked with his family, he'd introduced her around to some of his other family friends, she looked like she was really enjoying herself.

And then this.

This awkwardness all over again. He was so sick of it. Having to start all over again whenever they saw each other. He figured what he'd said to her would of made some kind of dent in their otherwise stagnant relationship. Instead it seemed to have moved them two more steps back. He hadn't asked her to respond to his words at the time, mostly because he didn't want to pressure her into feeling like she had to say something back right away.  But now he was getting to a point where he needed to know, either way. He needed to know how she felt about them.

Separating himself from the group, Nathan slowly treaded out to where Haley was walking along the shoreline not too far away. She was kicking lightly at the water, stirring her feet in the black water as it rushed in and out with the tide. She was listening to the crash of the waves come together and fall apart over and over again, only being distracted away from it as Nathan settled up beside her. For a few moments they walked silently together. Haley stuck her hands in the pockets on her jean skirt and noticed that Nathan had done the same. She was trying not think about his words to her the other day, or what they meant. Everything was still so hard to process, and she felt at a loss for what to do. Her heart and her mind always seemed at a crossroads with one another, and she was so tired of it. Without much ease her eyes wandered out in front of her as she finally began to speak.

"Why is it, you think, that the ocean is so peaceful?"

Nathan looked down his side at her as she continued to walk ahead, her eyes focused forward. He was trying so hard to figure out what was going on inside that head of hers but couldn't quite seem to get a grasp.

"Probably because it doesn't ask anything of you. It just kinds it what it is," he stated simply.

"Forever unchanging," Haley added more as question than anything else.

"Yeah," he spoke quietly and nodded.

Haley noticed Nathan's eyes boring holes into the side of her head, and decided to finally look up at him. She gave him and constrained smile, and pulled a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"That's sort of comforting I suppose," she looked down at her bare feet and kicked the wet sand.

Nathan felt like he wasn't really apart of whatever conversation they had stumbled into, but decided to follow through with it nonetheless. "Why?" He asked when they'd reached a point where Haley chose to stop walking.

She turned toward the ocean and quietly watched the waves. "Because you know it's always going to be there no matter what," she said sadly and Nathan again felt confused. He didn't know what it was that had gotten her like this, and it bothered him.

"Haley you've been pretty quite all night, is there something up?"

She wanted to turn to him right then and scream YES! Yes there's something up! I'm falling for you and I don't know what to do or say or how to act. I don't know how you feel and that scares the shit out of me. She wanted grab his face, cup it in her hands and bring it to hers so that she could kiss him with all the passion she could feel bubbling up inside of her. She wanted the damn butterflies in her stomach to go away and let her be at peace for one moment when she was around him, so that maybe she could feel normal again. She just wanted to tell him the truth.

But she didn't. Instead she shook her head solemnly and looked him in the eyes as she said, "No."

"You sure," he asked, not certain if he should believe her. "I mean I thought we had a good time at the party the other day........you seemed happy."

"I was," she wrapped her arms around herself. She knew she needed to tell him how she was feeling soon. Even if it didn't end the way she wanted it to, she needed to tell him. Now was not the time though.

Nathan could see she was uncomfortable still. "Then tell me what's up. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing's up," she assured him, pulling her arm out to touch his hand. "I was just thinking about stuff. Really everything's fine."

"You promise?"

Haley forced that plastic smile on her face that she'd learned from Brooke and turned toward Nathan cheerily. "Cross my heart," she said, taking her hand and moving it over her chest in an X.

"Really?"

"Really," she nodded again.

Nathan seemed to be placated by her words for the moment, and smiled back at her. They started walking again when he glanced down at her a second later, and evil smirk across his face.

"Well it's a good thing you're happy then because if you don't start smiling soon I might just have to do this," with lightening quick speed few have rarely ever seen, Haley saw Nathan whip around and scoop her up off her feet so that he was cradling her in his arms above the water.

"Nathan," Haley squealed and wiggled in his arms, as they tightened around her. "Oh my God put me down!."

He laughed at her struggles and moved farther out into the water, so that it came up to his knees. "Mmm I don't know," he contemplated.

"Put me down!" She yelped, glancing down at the water below her and knowing that there was no way she was getting free without getting wet, unless he chose to move back toward the beach. Stubbornly though she still moved about in his arms.

Nathan was amused by her actions and smirked at her moving even more farther out so that the water now hit him at the top of his thighs. "Did I ever tell you my Theory about girls and water?"

Haley shook her head vehemently and watched as the waves came up drenching Nathan's shorts.

"Well I have this theory about girls and water, and how I think they basically all look good soaked in it," he repeated and watched as Haley's eyes widened in horror at the thought of what he was going to do.

"NO," she stated wildly. "I swear on all that is good if you don't put me down I will kill you Nathan!"

He stood still contemplating her words. "All right," he nodded in agreement and then started moving back to the shore but paused looking her straight in the eyes a big Cheshire cat smile fanning out over his face. "Guess I'll die a happy death then," and with that he pulled his arms out from under her quickly watching as she fell into the four-foot water beneath her.

As soon as she'd fallen in it she popped back up, her entire body sopping wet. She hurriedly wiped at her eyes and the wet hair that clung to her face, brushing it back. Her mouth was open in awe that he would actually do such a thing, and the amusement in his eyes only set her off more.  She tried to lunge at him, but before she could even say or do anything he was already jetting back to the beach.