Look, I can draw a stick figure! 0-l- Sideways!
One of my many muses escaped the asylum and got ahold of my reviews. He refers to himself in third person, don't worry, it's okay. He's harmless, really... Just a little odd...
Celebrindae- Story no end just yet, no no. Authoress has decided to drag on story longer. Is Celebrindae happy now?
Okami Youkai- Cool art, says Authoress.
Draikitha- Okay, Authoress has been horribly scarred for all of eternity. Draikitha has some odd ideas which horribly frighten poor authoress and her slave. (Authoress horribly mauls her slave for telling about authoress's slave.)
Dark Dragon34- Clueless Foolishness is good. Good for health of Dark Dragon34, yes.
Meg- 'Itai' is a exclamation of pain. Authoress injures slave often and makes him say that. (Authoress horribly mauls slave again for referring to himself as a slave)
Sillyningengirl- How very silly. (Authoress mauls again) Err... Slave means, 'that's an interesting idea.' (gets mauled again)
kaida13- Not seen Kanna in Inuyasha... Can't use idea since has no idea what is. That make sense?
What2callmyself- Assuming you didn't get to read chappie before birthday? Apparently you get to read chappie after birthday. That idea isn't bad. Authoress likes idea. Might use. Might not. You shall see in future chapters.
Mari Youma- Authoress is extremely happy about getting out of school. She had party at friend's house and got married. (Again is mauled for saying such things. Authoress gains control of reviews) Sorry! That's a really, really long story. I was with my best friends and a lot of insanity happens in that situation. And before I am brutally murdered, this muse is not my slave, though he refers to himself as such. (Authoress is mauled and her slave parties for he has one something for once in his life) BAD AUTHORESS SHALL NOT STEAL THE PRECIOUS! (does not own Lord of the Rings.)
koshin- Ooh, 'nother interesting idea, we shall see about this one too.
Black Cat- You know where Youko and Kuronue are? Authoress shall hunt you down and interrogate you, that she shall.
whowhenwhatever- Lucky you, it shall not end just yet. Is this confused person happy now?
Riyo Shiban- Authoress was hoping not to have to use them, but it is another possibility.
SilentDark- Oh, no, six days is a horribly long time. You shall be punished. (Authoress mauls slave again) Oh, no, Authoress says six days is not long and you shall not be punished. You are lucky one.
nutari- Authoress has had eyes clawed out before and says it is not fun. Thanks go to you for not furthering her pain.
BarOhki- It is possibility. Authoress thinks. She shall see.
OH MY GOD, THAT STUPID MUSE IS RETARDED! Sorry if the replies to your reviews were a little strange, I told you I couldn't get to them before the muse did... Anyway, here's the story. I'll lock up the muse so he doesn't scare you anymore.
CHAPTER SIX
Short Stuff
"Well... At least now Youko's out of his head..." Yusuke said.
The group stood looking at the three unconscious bodies before them. Youko's plan had gotten him out of Hiei's mind and into his own body. That wasn't helping Shuichi, though, because he was still quite human and that was not what the intentions of the plan had been.
"Yeah, but... Now he's Youko... And he's out... And he has nobody to control him..." Shadow said thoughtfully. "And I'm going to die."
"Oh, come on, look on the bright side! Physical restraints work just as well as mental ones!" Eclipse said cheerfully.
"Oh, what, I'm supposed to chain him up or something?"
Eclipse shrugged. "That'd work."
"Baka," Shadow said. (A/N: Wow, it's been ages since I put Japanese in my stories! I think. I don't remember writing that since I wrote "Kuwabaka" in the last chapter) "In order to chain him up I'd have to be stronger than him."
"What, but I thought women were superior!" Koenma added.
"Shut up, Junior, we don't need your two cents worth!" Shadow said coldly.
"Just trying to help out."
"What, by saying I'm weak?"
"I never said that."
"INDIRECTLY YOU DID, SHORT STUFF!"
"I'm not short!"
"Not right now you aren't, but naturally you are, you stupid 600-YEAR-OLD MIDGET-BABY!"
"I'm sorry mommy..." Koenma said, cowering.
"I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER! GO CRY TO YUSUKE!"
"YUSUKE, I WANT MY MOMMY!" Koenma bawled.
A groan from Kurama shut them all up. His eyes blinked open and he looked around.
"Strange how the human wakes up before the demons..." Koenma muttered.
"Huh?" Kurama said.
"Good afternoon, Kurama. You're still human," Shadow said.
"I know... What happened?"
"Youko's plan didn't work completely," she said.
"Wha...?" He noticed Youko lying on a bed nearby. "Oh. Crap."
"Yeah, crap is a nice five letter word to describe this situation," Shadow said.
"Well, yes, it would be, except that 'crap' only has four letters," Eclipse pointed out.
"I know. That's what I said. It's got five letters."
"Four, Shadow."
"I know! It's got five letters! What, do you think I'm incompetent? That I can't count? C-R-A-P. That's FIVE!"
"NO IT'S--"
"SHUT UP! YOU'RE IN DENIAL!"
"No I'm not."
"SEE?"
"Witch."
"Shnergle."
"What?"
"I said--"
Koenma cleared his throat suddenly and both girls clamped their mouths shut and looked at him. "Could we talk more about the problem at hand than how many letters are in 'crap?'"
"There's five," Shadow said triumphantly.
"SHUT UP!"
"Yessir."
"Now... This plan really backfired. You two were supposed to end up in your normal fused state. But you didn't. It messed up and Youko's himself."
"Maybe he did it intentionally," Shadow said suddenly. "Are they okay?"
"What? Major change of topic there girl," Yusuke said.
"I mean, isn't it a little odd that he woke up first? He's a human, after all. Humans are like... supposed to be like... weaker than demons, aren't they? So they would have woke up before him, right? So why didn't they?"
"Oh my god. It's a miracle. Shadow had a logical thought!" Eclipse said. "LET US REJOICE!"
And she was promptly clobbered over the head by Shadow and some brass knuckles she'd found somewhere that happened to fit her hand perfectly, so the logical conclusion is that she probably found them in her pocket and they were hers.
BUT ENOUGH LOGIC!
Koenma examined Hiei and Youko only to find...
THEY WERE IN HORRIBLE CONDITION AND THEIR LIFE ENERGIES WERE MELTING AWAY AND THEY WERE GONNA... be perfectly fine. Because they both happened to magically wake up a few minutes into his examinations, life energies perfectly intact and not showing any signs of going anywhere.
Youko took one look at himself, then on his left and right, and let out an extremely un-Youko-like whoop.
"I'M FREE! COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY FREE!"
"Don't get your hopes up," Koenma said. Youko narrowed his gold eyes.
"Oh? What's that supposed to mean, short stuff?"
"I'M NOT SHORT!"
"CHILDREN, GET ALONG!" Shadow yelled. Youko's eyes fell on her and she had a sudden urge to run away, so that's exactly what she did.
"Ahhhhhhh!" she screamed dryly, running away. She smacked right into a wall, looked at it, and ran the opposite direction.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Then she spotted Youko. "Ahhhhhhh!" The wall. "Ahhhhhhh!"
Then she ran into Hiei and fell over, you know, because he's such a giant obstacle and blocks her path so bad that if she took a detour around him it'd be weeks before she reached her destination. Which happened to be right on the other side of him, but she didn't know that because she's a clueless fool, so she turned and crawled wildly in the other direction and ran into a wall, didn't have enough sense to crawl the other way, backed up, ran into the wall again, backed up, ran into the wall again, backed up...
This went on for quite some time and all it accomplished was a dent in the wall. Poor wall.
"Do something with that girl, will you Hiei?" Koenma said.
"What? Why me?"
"Because you know more about her than we do. What can make her stop?"
"A kick in the head," Hiei answered. "Or at least, that'll confuse her and she might turn away from the wall. It won't hurt her brain because she doesn't have one. If she used speed it'd probably slow down her body systems instead of speeding them up, because she's just a really fucked up little girl."
"LANGUAGE! I HEAR PROFANITY!" Shadow screamed suddenly, lunging at Hiei. He sidestepped and she ran into Youko. Then she was traumatized for life, and it was awful.
But nobody cared.
Because she wasn't really traumatized for life.
This girl can only be traumatized for as long as she remembers the incident, and with her five-minute memory span, that's not very long.
This incident just kept her out of the way for five minutes while she sat in the corner feeling traumatized.
Four minutes and fifty seconds into her traumatizedness, Koenma decided there was no way he could think of anything to solve their problem at the current moment. Declaring this to the rest of them took four seconds. They all ended up back at Shadow's house four minutes and fifty-six seconds after her initial traumatization.
"Soo... What're we gonna do now?" Eclipse asked. Shadow looked at Youko.
"HIDE!" She grabbed a leaf off a nearby houseplant, crouched down, and put it on her head. Two seconds passed and she looked confused.
"Why have I got a leaf on my head?" she asked, standing up. Everybody sweatdropped and let out an exasperated groan. Shadow grabbed the leaf, looked at it for a second, and then stuffed it in her mouth. "Must've been saving it for my lunch." Then she skipped out the door, into the yard, and sat in the 11-inch-high grass that hadn't been cut once yet that year.
"What's her problem?" Yusuke said cluelessly.
They watched as Shadow pulled a dandelion out of the forest of grass and cheerfully said, "Mommy had a baby and its head popped off!" She popped the head off the dandelion, then looked very thoughtful. "What a cruel woman!"
NOW TIME FOR MANY A/N's. See, me puts A/N's at end of chapter so people not have to scroll through many long ramblings of mine to reach story. And because I don't remember them until the end.
See, it's not just called "Short Stuff" because they use that label repeatedly through the chapter, it's called that because the chapter is so damn short. . I dunno. For some reason I just thought this'd be a nice place to stop it, just so I could get it posted today. I mean… Summarize the chapter: 'Youko's plan didn't work. They went back to Shadow's house.' Yup. That's all that happened. Oh well. It was a chapter that explained how I got out of thinking up an explanation for how he got back in Shuichi's head. I'm so cheap.
My best friend (the person who made up Eclipse... kinda) is a very encouraging person, you know that? After she read this chapter, she swiveled the swivelly computer chair around, looked up at me with eyebrows raised at the surprising stupidity of this chapter and she just plainly said, "You have problems."
And of course, I cheerfully agreed.
Oh, and I have a new chapter of the 'sun sand and surf' story written (title of story too long and tedious to type...), but I'm not ready to post it yet because I wanna get the next chapter written to see if my ideas in those two chapters will get me anywhere, so... It's the story updated the longest time ago, so people are probably getting sick of waiting... I think... I dunno. Well if you're sick of waiting, guess what you get to do? JUST WAIT A LITTLE LONGER! Learn some patience! Jeez! .
Until next time! Ta!