Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! This is the second chapter! It mentions SB/RL. But it's not a lot!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the mentioned characters!

Stuck in Idiotville

By Lady Stone

"Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the way!" Padfoot sung happily.

"Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh!" Wormtail yelled.

"HEY!" Snape and Prongs screamed.

Moony groaned, "Now can we look for the damned wand!?"

"NO!" Padfoot announced.

"Why not!?"

"Let's sing another song!"

"YAY!"

"Snape, shut up!" Prongs yelled. "Yes, let's look for the wand..."

"Fine..." Padfoot mumbled.

The five of them start moving around, looking for the wand. A thud could be heard...

"Ow... I think I broke my arse..." Wormtail muttered.

"Um, okay then..." Padfoot coughed.

"Padfoot! Get you hand off my leg!" Moony growled.

"Um, I'm across the room..."

"Er, sorry... That's me." Snape grumbled.

"EW!" Prongs screamed.

"Hey! I thought it was chair or something!" Snape yelled.

"Hey! Don't touch Moony! He's mine!" Padfoot announced.

"What the bloody hell!? I am NOT yours Padfoot!"

"Of course you are..." Padfoot whispered seductively.

"Padfoot? What are you doing?" Moony said nervously. "Where are you... ?"

"Mwhahahahaha..." Padfoot laughed evilly.

"Oh Great Wizards... Did someone find that damn wand yet!?" Moony asked slowly.

"I think I've got it!" Wormtail yelled happily.

"Thank God..." Prongs said.

"Give me my wand, you idiot!" Snape yelled.

"Fine, fine..." Wormtail poked him in the side.

"Why do people keep touching me!?" Moony yelled.

"Er, sorry Moony. Thought you were Snape..."

"Give me that!" Snape growled again.

"Okay!" A thud was heard.

"Erm... Did you throw it...?" Snape asked uneasily.

"Oops... Who did I hit!?"

"Not me... Please say you knocked Padfoot out!" Moony answered.

"Nope, I'm still conscious." Padfoot announced happily as Moony groaned.

"Prongs...?" Wormtail asked. "Prongs!?"

No sound was made. "Great, you killed Prongs!" Padfoot yelled.

"I didn't mean to!" Wormtail said sadly.

Snape groaned, "Now where is the bloody wand...?" A loud crash was heard. "Damn vase!"

Moony groaned was heard smacking his forehead. "I'm stuck in a room with a lot of idiots!"

"And me..." Padfoot whispered.

"Get away you horny bugger!" Moony yelled.

Wormtail snickered, "I think Padfoot is hitting on you, Moony!" He yelled gleefully.

"Er... I hope to God not..."

"Too bad!" Padfoot yelled.

"No..." Moony groaned.

"I believe Wolfie and his boyfriend are taking advantage of this dark room..." Snape laughed coldly and Wormtail joined him.

"Shut up, you greasy git!" Moony screamed. A loud smooching sound was heard,

"Ahh!!! Get the hell away from me!"

Padfoot laughed, "Oh, come on now! It's just a bit of fun!"

"Grr... Not to me! It's quite annoying!"

"Aw... Their first fight!" Snape giggled.

"SHUT UP!" A loud crash was heard.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THROW AT ME!?" Snape screamed.

"A vase, you dolt!"

"You could've killed me!"

"It's a shame I didn't!"

"Why you little-"

"Mary had a little lamb! Little lamb-"

"SHUT UP, PETER!" The three yelled.

"But..." Wormtail pouted.

"What's all the commotion about...?" Prongs suddenly groaned.

"Prongs! You're alive!" Wormtail yelled happily.

"Padfoot keeps hitting on me!" Moony screamed.

"Wolfie-boy threw a vase at me!" Snape bellowed.

"They keep being mean to me!" Wormtail whined.

"Moony won't let me kiss him!"

"Shut up, Padfoot!"

"Er... I missed a bit, didn't I?" Prongs asked uneasily.

"Not a lot... But enough to make us go crazy!" Padfoot replied.

"No, you're already crazy! Stop touching me!"

Prongs snickered and then sighed, "Okay, Padfoot! Stop hitting on Moony!"

"But, it's so much fun..." Padfoot pouted.

"Not to me!" Moony growled again.

"Little lamb! Mary had a little lamb! Fleece as white as-"

"SNOW!" Padfoot screamed.

"I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO SING ANOTHER BLOODY SONG!" Moony bellowed.

"Why not!?"

"Because your singing voice it torturing my poor sensitive ears!" Moony whined.

"Please..." This time Wormtail asked.

"NO!"

"Come on, Remmie!" Prongs pouted.

"I bet Snape doesn't want to..." Moony announced proudly.

"I don't want to... But I will! I mean, since you THREW a VASE at my HEAD!" Snape hissed.

"Please, you guys! Why must they be stupid songs! I mean, Jingle Bells and Mary Had A Little Lamb!? What the heck!?" Moony whined.

"What about Michael Jackson!" Wormtail asked.

"OH GOD NO!" The other four screamed violently.

"Fine..." Wormtail pouted.

"How about... Old McDonald had a farm!" Padfoot started.

"E-I-E-I-O!" Prongs sung along.

"STOP! Not that either!" Snape hissed.

"What, then!" Prongs asked.

"Can't we just look for the wand already...?" Moony asked sadly.

"Aw. Do you need a hug?" Padfoot asked slowly.

"Yeah, but not from YOU!"

"Fine! Be that way!" Padfoot could be heard fake crying.

"What about from me!?" Wormtail asked proudly.

"God no! Rather have one from Sirius..." Moony muttered.

"OKAY!" Padfoot bellowed.

"I mean-" Moony started.

"BLOODY HELL, BLACK! GET OFF ME!" Snape screamed wildly.

"Damn it... You're not Moony!" Padfoot said sadly.

"No, I'm not! So, don't even TRY snogging me!"

"Hey! He wouldn't snog me! Maybe kiss me! But SNOG!?" Moony yelled.

"Or would I...?"

"Get away from me Padfoot..."

"Padfoot! Leave Moony alone! Let's just look for the wand." Prongs informed them.

"Fine." Padfoot growled.

They all began crawling on the floor looking for the wand once more...

"I think I've got it!" Padfoot yelled happily.

"No, that's my hand..." Moony said slowly.

"I know!"

"STOP IT!"

"Come on Padfoot! Snog Moony when we're not alone in a dark room... Wait... That sounds like a perfect place to snog someone! I've gotta bring Lily here!" Prongs said happily.

Moony groaned, "Just find the wand... Okay?"

"We're trying to look!" Snape hissed.

"I've got it!" Wormtail said.

"This time don't THROW it!" Snape yelled.

"Okay, here!"

"All right, I've got my wand! Now it's time to get out of here!"

"YAY!" Moony, Prongs, and Wormtail screamed happily.

"Must we?" Padfoot said sadly.

"Bring back Wolfie on your own time!" Snape yelled at him.

"Grr... He will certainly NOT!" Moony bellowed.

"Whatever..." Snape muttered. "LUMOS!"

Nothing happened.

"Erm, Snape..."

"Shut up Potter!"

"Maybe it's not a wand..." Wormtail whimpered.

"Then what the hell is it!?" Snape asked loudly.

"I don't know..."

"It could be a twig!" Padfoot yelled, sounding happy that they weren't leaving soon.

"Erm... Why would there be a twig in this room!?" Prongs asked.

"I don't know... I was just a guess! Jeez!" Padfoot said sourly.

"Whatever..." Moony muttered. "Great... We're stuck in here longer..."

"Cool! Hey, Remmie-baby..."

"Touch me, I shall bite you!"

"Ah, sounds nice..."

"SHUT UP!"

"Sounds as though Wolfie really is dangerous!" Snape sneered.

"Shut up, Snivellus!" Prongs yelled.

"Call me that again and I shall poke you in the eye with the twig... Or what is supposedly a twig..."

"SNIVELLUS!!!" Prongs bellowed.

"Argh! Die fiend die!"

"Stop it!" Wormtail groaned.

"Remmie..." Padfoot said slyly.

"Padfoot, are you gay?"

"WHAT!?" Padfoot yelled surprisingly, "Why the hell would you think that!?"

Wormtail sighed, "I wonder..."

"Why...? Are YOU, Moony?" Padfoot asked nervously.

"Maybe..." Moony whispered, turning the tables on Sirius.

"Oh God... I want outa here NOW!"

Moony snickered, "Come on Snape and Prongs! Let's look for the wand!"

"Okay- OUCH! STOP POKING ME!"

"I warned you, Potter! I warned you!"

Moony groaned and slapped his forehead.

"While we wait for them, let's sing a song!" Wormtail said warmly.

"Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!" Padfoot started.

"Not that bloody song again..." Moony muttered.