Disclaimer: If it was mine, then this would be a prequel to the Harry Potter series.
Reaka: Wow! Thank you reviewers! That was definitely more than I expected! I know about Hagrid inventing the Blast-Ended Skrewts during Harry's fourth year, but for my purposes, they were around for the Marauders. So, without further delay, let's get the party started.
"Remus, maybe this whole thing was a bad idea."
James sighed as Remus tuned him out. Remus, himself, was skipping down the halls and whistling a song he made up. Every time he messed up he would cackle loud enough that people would stop walking and look at the duo walking down the hall.
"Is Remus stoned?" a girl asked her friend as they walked down the hall. Unfortunately, Remus overheard them and walked up to them.
"Remus, don't!" James warned.
"Now, I just heard one of you ask if I was stoned, right?" Remus asked.
"Well, you are acting a little hyper," the girl said.
Remus put his arm around the girl. James rolled his eyes.
"Thank you," Remus said. "Thank you for calling me weird."
James grabbed the hyper Remus and ran towards the Forbidden Forest so they wouldn't be late. They managed to get there just in time. Professor Kettleburn stared at them.
"Now that all of us are here," he said, "it's now time that I get the Flobberworms out. Everyone get into groups of five."
James and Remus found Lily and two other girls by the names of Maru and Cat. Kettleburn went around and gave each of them a Flobberworm. Remus's eyes lit up at the sight of it.
"Remus," James said. Remus took his quill and watched as the Flobberworm's head rose.
"Are you okay, Remus?" Lily asked.
"Look!" Remus said. "Look at the way it's raising! It's like one of those Indian Snake Charmers!"
Maru looked at him. Remus put the quill to his lips and acted like he was playing a flute.
"Doodedoodoo! Doodedoodoo!! Doodedoodoo!" Remus said. The Flobberworm's head moved as if swaying to the beat.
"What the hell?" Maru asked. The four of them looked at the hyper Remus, and they started to laugh.
"Remus, leave the Flobberworm alone," James said.
"Why is he so hyper, and you're so calm all of a sudden?" Lily asked.
"Sirius had another potion experiment." James explained. "As you can see, this is the result."
Remus picked up the worm again.
"Remus!" Lily said. "Leave him alone!"
"But he doesn't want to be there!" Remus said. "He wants to be my friend! And he shall be my little wormy friend!"
"Give me the worm!" James said.
"But he's my little wormy!" Remus protested.
"Freak!" Cat exclaimed. "You're a freak!"
Remus cackled. The class turned around and looked at him. He heard the Slytherins whisper "freak" but he didn't care. He was laughing. James took the worm and put it back down. Remus picked it back up again.
"REMUS!" his group exclaimed. "Leave the worm alone!"
"Just get the Skrewt," James said, "and maybe that'll make him leave the worm alone."
"Get the Skrewt, Remus," Cat said.
"Yeah! Get it!" Lily agreed. Remus put the worm down and went to get the Blast Ended Skrewt. He looked at his hand.
"Oh look! It crapped on me!" he exclaimed. James sighed.
"I shouldn't have given in to Sirius," he said.
Remus came back with the Blast-Ended Skrewts, tweezers, a probe, and scissors. He laid them down.
"Let's just start the cutting!" Remus said excitedly.
"Wait Remus," James said, "we need to write down the assignment too."
Three seconds later...
"Can we start cutting now?" Remus asked.
"Not yet," Lily said, "now shut up!"
Remus got bored and took the probe. He started to poke at the head of the beast. (A/N: I'm talking the one where the brains go, you perverts!)
"Are you having fun, Remus?" Maru asked.
"It gives me something to do," he answered. He poked at it a little more. Suddenly, he poked it too hard, and he stabbed it in the head!
"Oh shit!" he exclaimed.
"Remus, what'd you do?" James asked calmly. He knew the answer would probably make him want to strangle the werewolf.
"I, accidentally, stabbed it in the head."
"Might as well dissect it now," Lily said. She took the scissors and cut open the animal. Right when she did, the brain exploded, and went all over the students.
"EW!" Maru and Cat shouted.
Instead of dissecting the rest of the beast, like what everyone else was doing, the five of them were wiping Skrewt brains off their robes. Kettleburn strolled over to them and looked at the mess.
"I don't even want to ask." Kettleburn said. "Ten points from Gryffindor for their...messy ways. Everyone clean up their mess, and after that the class is dismissed."
James and Remus walked back to the castle. They had separate classes. James, surprisingly, held in his anger.
"I am gonna kill Sirius," he thought.
Now wasn't that interesting? Tell me what you think! Come on! You know you want to! You can do it! Just press the button, and you can review! Please? I won't stop annoying you! Do it! Do it...