Author's Note: THANKS FOR ALL THE GREAT REVIEWS!!! I enjoyed reading them! You guys are beyond wonderful! I do apologize for those of you who don't like RL/SB, and those who want more... Hehehe... Also, on another note - Many of you are confused with the concept of 'Eddie the Elf'... Let me explain...

Well... Eddie isn't anything but an inanimate object (a stick, so he can't talk...) He's not even a 'he' or a 'she'... More like an 'it'.... Well, Eddie isn't considered a House Elf OR a LOTR Elf either... Just think of him as a stick with a name...

Warning: Tad bit of humorous SB/RL.

Stuck in Idiotville

by Lady Stone

"JINGLE ALL THE WAY! H-" Padfoot and Wormtail were silent for moment, waiting for Moony to stop them from saying 'hey'.

"Why'd you guys stop?" Prongs asked quietly.

"Well... How come Moony isn't talking?" Wormtail asked wondrously.

"I don't know... Do you know, Eddie the Elf?" Came Snape's giddy voice.

Silence.

"Erm... Has Snape gone bonkers? And has Moony died?" Wormtail asked uncertainly.

"NO! MOONY! COME BACK TO ME!" Padfoot whined.

"Oh, bugger off." Came Moony's annoyed voice. "I'm not dead... I'm just in my own little world at the moment."

"Ah..." Prongs said.

"So, Eddie... What are you up to today? Hmm..."

"Snape! Shut it!" Moony yelped. "I cannot take it anymore! YOU'RE ALL DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

"Don't hyperventilate, my sweet!" Padfoot cooed.

"SHUT UP!" Moony yelped.

"I want outa here..." Wormtail whined.

"So do I, Wormtail... So do I..." Prongs muttered. "Hey, Snape?"

"What, Potter?" Snape asked slowly.

"Can I see Eddie for a second, please?" Prongs asked sweetly.

"Erm... Okay..." Snape handed him over. "But do be gentle, he's very fragil- "

Snap!

"EDDIE!!! NO! WHAT HAS THIS HORRID WORLD COME TO!?" Snape bellowed.

Padfoot snickered. "You deserved it."

"Be quiet! Or I'll snap Wolfie in half!"

"TOUCH REMMIE AND YOU SHALL DIE FIEND!!!"

"PADFOOT! Shut up!" Moony yelled.

"EVERYONE!? SHUT UP!" Prongs screamed and all was silent. "Good. Now... Shall we search for Snape's wand again?"

"We'll never find it... We're stuck here for all of eternity..." Wormtail moaned as Moony was heard whimpering.

"We've gotta try... Or we'll all starve to death." Prongs said firmly.

"Well... We've got fish guts? They're good in protein... Right?" Padfoot asked uncertainly.

"Why'd don't we eat Snape?" Wormtail asked wearily as Snape was heard growling.

"Nah. Don't eat greasy foods. I'm on a diet." Padfoot sighed.

"Shut it!" Snape hissed.

"Well... We should eat Moony first... Because if he's still here tomorrow then he'll eat us all..." Prongs said eagerly.

"NO!" Moony bellowed.

"I'll protect you from them, my love!" Padfoot said happily as Moony groaned.

"It's settled then... We'll first eat the fish guts, then Moony, then Wormtail, he's plump, and then comes Padfoot... Then me. We'll leave Snape by himself... He can fend." Prongs snickered.

"You will not eat me first!" Moony yelled ruefully.

"I'm not plump! Just big boned!" Wormtail hollered.

"You can eat me first! Just don't touch my Moony!" Padfoot argued.

"I will not be left alone! Even if I have to stay with you lot!" Snape grimaced.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Prongs hollered. "I was just kidding! Great Wizards... You should eat me first so I won't have to listen to you all!"

"That can be arranged." Snape muttered.

"Why in the world are we talking about eating each other in the first place?" Wormtail asked curiously.

"Because we'll be stuck in here forever, that's why." Moony muttered.

"Yay! I'll have my Moony forever!" Padfoot yelled happily and a loud smooch was heard.

Snape sighed, "I don't even have enough strength to yell at you, Black..."

"Ew... I kissed Snape." Padfoot groaned.

"That's something to tell the grandkids..." Moony muttered.

"We're gonna have grandkids! Yippee!" Padfoot shouted.

"That is NOT gonna happen!" Moony hissed.

"How would it anyway? I mean... You two wouldn't be able to have kids-" Wormtail was silent. "You know what? Let's just drop the subject."

"I wish Lily were here..." Prongs muttered.

"Sucks to be you!" Padfoot snickered.

"Hey! You have Moony with you!" Prongs yelled.

"I know!" Padfoot said happily.

Moony didn't even bother this time... "So, Padfoot?"

"Yes, my sweet?"

Moony moaned, "What ever happened to your broken leg anyway?"

"Oh, well I just healed it with my wand!" Padfoot announced happily.

Silence.

"What? Did I just hear that right?" Prongs hissed.

"Uh, yeah..." Padfoot answered, confused.

"You have your wand?" Moony asked angrily.

"Yeah..."

"But you said you didn't!" Wormtail hissed.

"Well, I guess I just forgot!"

"When did you remember?" Snape asked curiously.

"Um... About half-an-hour ago..." Padfoot answered, still confused.

Silence.

"I'm gonna kill you, Padfoot." Prongs said softly.

"GIVE ME YOUR DAMN WAND!" Moony bellowed.

"Jeez, Moony! In a crowded room!? I thought different of you!" Padfoot hissed jokingly.

"EW!" Wormtail whimpered.

"PADFOOT!" Moony screamed.

"Sorry! Jeez... Here ya go!" Padfoot handed the wand to Moony.

"Okay, now to leave this horrid place..." Moony muttered. "Lumos!"

Light enveloped from the end of the wand and surrounded the five wizards. They were all sitting in a circle in the middle of an empty room, except for a few small tables with abandoned vases and books atop them.

"I can see!" Wormtail quipped happily.

"I'm so happy!" Prongs began crying in his hands.

"Great Wizards... I'm free from this retched darkness with these idiots..." Snape murmured, but was looking at the remnants of his lost friend, Eddie the Elf.

"I'm gonna get out here... I'm leaving..." Moony said in awe.

Padfoot was grinning idiotically at Moony and all of a sudden, leaped on top of him and kissed him deeply.

"PADFOOT!" Moony yelled and pushed the boy off of him.

Wormtail snickered and took the wand from Moony. "And now... To finally leave this horrid place..." He sighed and turned toward the door. "Aloho-"

The End!

Author's Note: JUST KIDDING! Mwhahaha... Don't ya just hate cliffhangers... Hehehehe...