Epona's Bath Chapter 2:
She's Smart, But He Can Be Smarter
Wow! I didn't think people would like it so much! It was my first fanfic (well sorta, HackLUNCH went up at the same time) since I'm doing some more chapters maybe I should change it to Link's Completely Psycho-Maniac Horse or something...I'll stick with Epona's Bath for now...R&R!!!!
Rated PG for comic violence and mild swearing and possible dirty jokes
Disclaimer: I OOT!!! My friend is borrowing it, but I have no right to use its characters and stuff and I am possibly breaking the law posting this...
Link was sitting by the edge of Lake Hylia, waiting for his horse to be done in the water.
He shouted out to her, "You never wanted to go in now come out!"
Epona just whinnied and went deeper into the water, "Well, I hope you fall off the drop-off then! See if I care!" Link pouted and scowled and whined, but Epona did not come out. (he only has the attitude of a ten-year-old y'know) Eventually he gave up. The scarecrow's pieces started wheezing laughter. Link, in a major temper tantrum, sliced all the pieces until they were only little atoms, then he stomped on them so hard they split in half.
BOOM
Link was blown away by the nuclear explosion that followed. He flew straight through the old guy's lab wall.
"What the hell was that? That hurt more then when my eyes burned out from seeing Impa!"
"That would be something so vastly scientific that your puny brain cannot comprehend it," said the old man.
"What're you talking about you old fart?"
"I'll tell you if you dive down to the bottom of the pool. I lost my teeth down there."
"I don't really want to know, but since I have nothing better to do, I'll do it."
Link put the Iron Boots on and dropped down to the bottom, where a hungry shark was waiting for him. Link screamed and took off the boots. He swam ferociously to the top, only loosing his hat along the way.
"You're crazy, you old fart! I could have been killed! And I lost my favorite hat! Now all the people are gonna laugh at me cause I don't have my dazzling hat that I look so handsome in!"
"No loss..."
"That was my best hat...!"
"I meant you, we could all use one less muscle head in this world..."
The old professor was unable to continue because his lungs were one side of the room and his head was on the other. Link was getting furious now, Epona was going to come out of that water whether she liked it or not. Link marched out of the old man's house to where Epona was to find her with several Zora.
"Oh Epona, I absolutely adore you!" said one Zora.
"You have such a lovely light fur!" said another.
"I wish I could be with you forever and ever!" said the third Zora.
"Beat it you stupid Zora! She's MY horse!"
The third Zora looked appalled "You mean it's a girl?!"
Having absolutely no patience ever, he drew out his bow and was ready to shoot the stupid Zoras, but they swam away. Link turned to Epona.
"Epona! You come out now!"
Epona just snorted in response.
"I have a carrot for you!"
Epona was smarter that that, only Malon and the Gerudo horse ever fed her.
Link swam out to Epona and grabbed her by the reigns, but, being in water, he had no force to pull her with, even if he kicked really hard. He put on the Iron Boots again, but once he was on the bottom he slid and fell down to the absolute bottom of the lake. Not being smart enough to put on the Zora Vest, he coughed and sputtered when he reached surface again.
"Dammit! Move!" He yelled as he swam up behind Epona, and Epona did move. She kicked him so hard that he flew and hit the tree on the island, crushing Navi who was returning from her crying fit.
"I fell for it again! How stupid am I!?" Link shouted.
Navi was smart enough not to answer him, or maybe she was just unconscious.
He walked over the bridges and all the way around to where Epona was and pouted at her. Then he got a brilliant idea, he pulled out his ocarina and played Epona's Song again. When she heard it, she came charging right towards him.
Link smiled to himself, "Now that's a good hor-" Link was trampled again by Epona.
There shall be more...If you review and like it!!
Wow! I didn't think people would like it so much! It was my first fanfic (well sorta, HackLUNCH went up at the same time) since I'm doing some more chapters maybe I should change it to Link's Completely Psycho-Maniac Horse or something...I'll stick with Epona's Bath for now...R&R!!!!
Rated PG for comic violence and mild swearing and possible dirty jokes
Disclaimer: I OOT!!! My friend is borrowing it, but I have no right to use its characters and stuff and I am possibly breaking the law posting this...
Link was sitting by the edge of Lake Hylia, waiting for his horse to be done in the water.
He shouted out to her, "You never wanted to go in now come out!"
Epona just whinnied and went deeper into the water, "Well, I hope you fall off the drop-off then! See if I care!" Link pouted and scowled and whined, but Epona did not come out. (he only has the attitude of a ten-year-old y'know) Eventually he gave up. The scarecrow's pieces started wheezing laughter. Link, in a major temper tantrum, sliced all the pieces until they were only little atoms, then he stomped on them so hard they split in half.
BOOM
Link was blown away by the nuclear explosion that followed. He flew straight through the old guy's lab wall.
"What the hell was that? That hurt more then when my eyes burned out from seeing Impa!"
"That would be something so vastly scientific that your puny brain cannot comprehend it," said the old man.
"What're you talking about you old fart?"
"I'll tell you if you dive down to the bottom of the pool. I lost my teeth down there."
"I don't really want to know, but since I have nothing better to do, I'll do it."
Link put the Iron Boots on and dropped down to the bottom, where a hungry shark was waiting for him. Link screamed and took off the boots. He swam ferociously to the top, only loosing his hat along the way.
"You're crazy, you old fart! I could have been killed! And I lost my favorite hat! Now all the people are gonna laugh at me cause I don't have my dazzling hat that I look so handsome in!"
"No loss..."
"That was my best hat...!"
"I meant you, we could all use one less muscle head in this world..."
The old professor was unable to continue because his lungs were one side of the room and his head was on the other. Link was getting furious now, Epona was going to come out of that water whether she liked it or not. Link marched out of the old man's house to where Epona was to find her with several Zora.
"Oh Epona, I absolutely adore you!" said one Zora.
"You have such a lovely light fur!" said another.
"I wish I could be with you forever and ever!" said the third Zora.
"Beat it you stupid Zora! She's MY horse!"
The third Zora looked appalled "You mean it's a girl?!"
Having absolutely no patience ever, he drew out his bow and was ready to shoot the stupid Zoras, but they swam away. Link turned to Epona.
"Epona! You come out now!"
Epona just snorted in response.
"I have a carrot for you!"
Epona was smarter that that, only Malon and the Gerudo horse ever fed her.
Link swam out to Epona and grabbed her by the reigns, but, being in water, he had no force to pull her with, even if he kicked really hard. He put on the Iron Boots again, but once he was on the bottom he slid and fell down to the absolute bottom of the lake. Not being smart enough to put on the Zora Vest, he coughed and sputtered when he reached surface again.
"Dammit! Move!" He yelled as he swam up behind Epona, and Epona did move. She kicked him so hard that he flew and hit the tree on the island, crushing Navi who was returning from her crying fit.
"I fell for it again! How stupid am I!?" Link shouted.
Navi was smart enough not to answer him, or maybe she was just unconscious.
He walked over the bridges and all the way around to where Epona was and pouted at her. Then he got a brilliant idea, he pulled out his ocarina and played Epona's Song again. When she heard it, she came charging right towards him.
Link smiled to himself, "Now that's a good hor-" Link was trampled again by Epona.
There shall be more...If you review and like it!!