Epona's Bath Chapter 3:
Oh, Epona, Thou Art Cruel
Yay! People still liked it! I thought the second chapter was a bit of a decline. This took a little long because I dyed my hair purple and my dad wasn't too happy about it -. I'm keeping Epona's Bath for my own reasons...R&R
Rated PG for comic violence and mild swearing and a possible dirty joke
Disclaimer: I no longer own OOT! I sold it to my best friend for thirty bucks and an issue of Shonen Jump! Now I am rich and well-read!
Link got up off the ground, Epona had it coming to her. As soon as he beat Ganon, he was going to kill that horse. He looked down at himself. He groaned inwardly.
I'm covered in mud and grass! he thought, and my favorite hat is still gone! He glared at Epona who was docilely eating grass.
"Don't go anywhere!" he shouted at her, and he dove in the lake to wash himself off. He swam to the island where a semi-conscious Navi was.
"Ohhhhh, what happened...my head..." Navi groaned.
Link picked up Navi and carried her to the late professor's house.
"What are you doing? AAAAAckpth!" Link tossed Navi into the shark tank and looked down.
Good, he thought, that distracted the shark. He got out his Longshot and got his hat back as Navi flew out of the water.
"What was that for?!"
Link wasn't listening, "My hat is in shreds!" he cried out.
"Oh please it's just a stupid-" she stopped abruptly to the look on Link's face, "I mean, we'll get you a new one.
"I don't want a new one! This is the one I got from Saria on our first date!"
"You had a date when you were ten????"
Link didn't answer. Mourning over his lost hat, he brought it outside the house and buried it. He stuck his Kokiri sword in the dirt.
"Here lies my hat," he said in a sad tone, "It was so young! Why did it have to die?! Why?! Why?!"
Why is he making so much fuss over a stupid hat???? Navi thought.
"EPONA! You are the cause of the death of my hat! Now I'm really gonna kill you...after I get Ganon!"
He marched down to where Epona was, "Epona, let's...she's sleeping!"
It was true, Epona was sound asleep. Smart enough not to get behind or in front of Epona, he went up to her side, "Epona! Wake up!" Epona just piddled on Link's shoe.
"Yuck! Gross! Horse piss!" he started to spin around clutching his throat, "Gack! I've been poisoned!" Link jumped in the lake.
Navi went up to Epona and bopped her on the nose. Epona shook her head, snorted, and ate Navi.
"Eek! Help me!" she called from Epona's stomach.
Link came back, "Hm...Navi is so unreliable..."
"Link help me!" came a minuet cry from inside Epona.
"Huh? Oh..." Link was torn. This was his chance to finally get rid of Navi, but he also hated Epona.
"Oh...fine, I'll help you Navi..."
He opened Epona's mouth, "Fly out!"
"Stupid! I'm stuck!"
"Alright then..." He stuck his arm down Epona's throat and grabbed on to Navi, but Epona didn't like having arms stuck down her throat. She bit down on Link's arm.
"Ow! You stupid hooooooorrrrse!"
Epona had bucked up on her hind legs and sent Link with Navi in his hand soaring. This ended abruptly due to a large cliff. Epona fell right back asleep.
Link brushed himself off, he wasn't too dirty, but he was super mad. He marched right up to Epona, got on, and kicked her really hard, "Move! Dammit!" Again, he flew off the horse into the cliff. When he fell, he squashed Navi, and Epona fell asleep again.
Link walked right up to Epona and pouted, "Fine then, take a nap, but I'm not waiting!" He pulled out his ocarina and played the Sun's Song. Immediately, the bright day around him turned into dark night...but Epona wasn't there.
"Not again!" he cried out. He knew exactly where Epona was, with the Gerudo horse.
The Gerudo horse comes in! There will be at least two more chapters...
Yay! People still liked it! I thought the second chapter was a bit of a decline. This took a little long because I dyed my hair purple and my dad wasn't too happy about it -. I'm keeping Epona's Bath for my own reasons...R&R
Rated PG for comic violence and mild swearing and a possible dirty joke
Disclaimer: I no longer own OOT! I sold it to my best friend for thirty bucks and an issue of Shonen Jump! Now I am rich and well-read!
Link got up off the ground, Epona had it coming to her. As soon as he beat Ganon, he was going to kill that horse. He looked down at himself. He groaned inwardly.
I'm covered in mud and grass! he thought, and my favorite hat is still gone! He glared at Epona who was docilely eating grass.
"Don't go anywhere!" he shouted at her, and he dove in the lake to wash himself off. He swam to the island where a semi-conscious Navi was.
"Ohhhhh, what happened...my head..." Navi groaned.
Link picked up Navi and carried her to the late professor's house.
"What are you doing? AAAAAckpth!" Link tossed Navi into the shark tank and looked down.
Good, he thought, that distracted the shark. He got out his Longshot and got his hat back as Navi flew out of the water.
"What was that for?!"
Link wasn't listening, "My hat is in shreds!" he cried out.
"Oh please it's just a stupid-" she stopped abruptly to the look on Link's face, "I mean, we'll get you a new one.
"I don't want a new one! This is the one I got from Saria on our first date!"
"You had a date when you were ten????"
Link didn't answer. Mourning over his lost hat, he brought it outside the house and buried it. He stuck his Kokiri sword in the dirt.
"Here lies my hat," he said in a sad tone, "It was so young! Why did it have to die?! Why?! Why?!"
Why is he making so much fuss over a stupid hat???? Navi thought.
"EPONA! You are the cause of the death of my hat! Now I'm really gonna kill you...after I get Ganon!"
He marched down to where Epona was, "Epona, let's...she's sleeping!"
It was true, Epona was sound asleep. Smart enough not to get behind or in front of Epona, he went up to her side, "Epona! Wake up!" Epona just piddled on Link's shoe.
"Yuck! Gross! Horse piss!" he started to spin around clutching his throat, "Gack! I've been poisoned!" Link jumped in the lake.
Navi went up to Epona and bopped her on the nose. Epona shook her head, snorted, and ate Navi.
"Eek! Help me!" she called from Epona's stomach.
Link came back, "Hm...Navi is so unreliable..."
"Link help me!" came a minuet cry from inside Epona.
"Huh? Oh..." Link was torn. This was his chance to finally get rid of Navi, but he also hated Epona.
"Oh...fine, I'll help you Navi..."
He opened Epona's mouth, "Fly out!"
"Stupid! I'm stuck!"
"Alright then..." He stuck his arm down Epona's throat and grabbed on to Navi, but Epona didn't like having arms stuck down her throat. She bit down on Link's arm.
"Ow! You stupid hooooooorrrrse!"
Epona had bucked up on her hind legs and sent Link with Navi in his hand soaring. This ended abruptly due to a large cliff. Epona fell right back asleep.
Link brushed himself off, he wasn't too dirty, but he was super mad. He marched right up to Epona, got on, and kicked her really hard, "Move! Dammit!" Again, he flew off the horse into the cliff. When he fell, he squashed Navi, and Epona fell asleep again.
Link walked right up to Epona and pouted, "Fine then, take a nap, but I'm not waiting!" He pulled out his ocarina and played the Sun's Song. Immediately, the bright day around him turned into dark night...but Epona wasn't there.
"Not again!" he cried out. He knew exactly where Epona was, with the Gerudo horse.
The Gerudo horse comes in! There will be at least two more chapters...