The song in italics is "Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross.
Squid dug his shovel into the dirt as the hot sun beat upon his back, causing his sweat to mingle with his tears. Today was the twelfth anniversary of something that had changed his life forever. He had no other distraction but the clink of shovels hitting dirt, so he was forced to dwell on it.
Back when I was a child,
Before life removed all the innocence,
My father would lift me high, And dance with my mother and me,
And then.
Spin me around till' I fell asleep, Then up the stairs he would carry me, And I knew for sure I was loved.
He was nearly halfway through his hole when the happy memory of his second Christmas came bubbling up in his mind. Back then he was Alan, a hyper little two-year-old who loved wreaking havoc around the house and scaring the living daylights out of his mother by sneaking up on her under the table and yelling "OCTOPUS ATTACK!"
That Christmas he had gotten his first tricycle. Little Alan had squealed with glee at the sight of it and would've played on it all day had there not been more gifts to unwrap.
"Hey, listen! It's Jinglebell Rock!" Alan's father said as the song played on the radio. He grabbed his wife and son, and all of them broke out into a crazy, three person boogie. When the song ended all three of them collapsed on the couch, laughing.
Squid smiled, remembering how silly they all had been acting. His father had always made him laugh when he danced.
If I could get another chance,
Another one, another dance with him,
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love, love, love.
To dance with my father again.
They sat for a while as "White Christmas" came on. Little Alan sat exhausted on the couch, all the caffeine and sugar from earlier that day seeming to wear off. As he slowly closed his eyes to slumber, a mushy winter love song came on the radio and his parents got up and danced together in slow circles. The last thing he saw before he fell asleep was his father kissing his mother tenderly.
Squid sighed. They had been so in love then. He even remembered them going off on romantic getaways for the weekend and leaving him with Old Mrs. Miller, the lady who had an aquarium the size of Rhode Island.
He tried to remember how his father was like, but he couldn't seem to remember what he looked like. He was just a reflection in his mind…
Then he remembered the month after his third birthday…
When I and my mother disagreed,
To get my way I would run from her to him.
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me,
Yeah, yeah.
Then finally make me do just what my momma said.
"Come on, Alan, sit at the table when you eat!" His mother said, desperately trying to get him to sit still.
"NO!" Alan said, dodging her attempts to grab him and running to attach himself to his father's legs.
"Whoa!" His father chuckled, looking down at him. "OCTOPUS ATTACK!" Alan laughed. His father picked him up and set him down in a chair. "You gotta stay right there now, or there's gonna be an OCTOPUS ATTACK!" He yelled, tickling Alan without mercy.
"Careful, honey, you'll make him wet his pants again." His mother said, amused. Alan was freed from the tickle attack.
Later that night when I was asleep,
He left a dollar under my sheet.
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me.
He remembered one night before bedtime his dad had told him that he was going out to get some ice cream. Alan had been so excited that he had stayed up waiting after his mother had tucked him in so that he could peek to see what type of ice cream his dad brought home.
Squid jammed his shovel furiously into the dirt. He's been waiting his whole life.
If I could steal one final glance,
One final step, One final dance with him,
I'd play a song that'd never ever end.
Cos I'd love, love, love, to dance with my father again.
It was hard on both Squid and his mother. She had taken up drinking years after, believing that he left her because she wasn't good enough. She moped and drank herself into a stupor until she was only a mere shadow of herself.
Squid remembered just after his father had left them. She had cried herself to sleep for many nights until finally; she had become too drunk to feel.
Sometimes I'd listen outside the door And I'd hear how my momma cried for him
I pray for her even more than me.
I pray for her even more than me...
There was even a point in time when her health plummeted. In fact, it had started to plummet again just before he got sent to Green Lake. Last time the doctors had warned her not to drink so much or else she could die from too much alcohol consumption.
I know I'm praying for much too much,
But could you send back,
The only man she loved.
I know you don't do it usually,
But dear Lord she's dying, To dance with my father again.
Sometimes Squid wished that his father could come back and everything would be just like it used to be.
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream...
Unfortunately, two days after Squid had been released from CGL he had been watching the news one morning at the airport while waiting on a flight to Missouri and saw a report that told some horrifying news.
"Late one Saturday afternoon, a farmer in Boerne, Texas excavated a twelve-year-old corpse of a man while digging a trench near the road. Experts studied the body and reported it to have been stabbed to death several times. Surprisingly, the dead man's WALLET was left with him and we found an ID card."
Squid's heart stopped beating. They showed a picture of the man on the screen and alongside it listed information about him. His eyes looked painfully from the man's picture to his name. Jeremy Smith. 30 years old.
No. No, that wasn't him. There are plenty of Jeremy Smith's in Texas.
"The unusual thing about this is that we also found a grocery bag and in it was a tub of chocolate ice cream. It seems that the man had been killed shortly after his grocery run. Didn't even get to enjoy his ice cream—"
Squid got up and left to the restroom. His mind was spinning; his breath came in short gasps. This wasn't happening. It wasn't true…all of it was a lie. There was no way his father could've been dead all these years…No way.
Squid confined himself to a stall and cried to himself until he heard the calling for his flight.
A few hours later, as he waited for his next flight, he walked into a shop and a song was playing over the intercom. He was immediately reminded of that happy Christmas day when he danced with his father.
A tear rolled down his cheek and he wiped it away before handing the cashier a Luther Vandross CD to check out.
If I could steal one final glance,
One final step, One final dance with him,
I'd play a song that'd never ever end.
Cos I'd love, love, love, to dance with my father again…
MEH BABEH! MEH POOR BABEH!
Oh, gosh, I really am tearing here! OK! 'Nuff mushy stuff!
WAH!