Disclaimer: Grr.
Reaka: Hello everyone! Sadly, this is the last chapter of "What the hell?" It's sad, I know! It was fun watching James and Remus squirm! Oh well, all good things must come to an end one way or another. (I'm gonna find ya! I'm gonna gitcha gitcha gitcha gitcha...Oops! I'm supposed to give commentary! Sorry.) So, without further ado, and before I start crying cause I can't torture them, here's the final chapter. Cheers!
Back to the Usual
"So this is what we're going to do?" James asked as he, Remus, Sirius, and Peter sat around the Common Room discussing their latest prank.
"Yeah!" Sirius said. "It'll be fun!"
"We aren't hurting anybody, are we?" James asked.
"Course not," Peter assured him. "How can we?"
"Oh. Right," James replied.
"Well, I'm all for it." Remus stated. "When can we do it? I wanna do it now! Come on! Let's go! Let's go!"
"Hold on a minute, Sparky," Sirius said. "Wait until everyone's in the Great Hall for dinner. That way, we'll have an audience."
"So while we're waiting," Peter said, "let's get ready!"
The four of them disappeared into their dormitories.
A cheery dinner was set before the students at the Great Hall. (A/N: Just picture your favorite food here. I'm too lazy to describe it.) Lily and Maru ate and chattered amongst themselves. Kat came in and sat down with them.
"Any of you guys seen the boys?" Kat asked. "I couldn't find them to tell them time for dinner."
"Now that you mention it," Maru said, "they have been missing since Defense Against the Dark Arts. I wonder where they're at?"
"Probably pulling another prank on poor Snape again," Lily said.
"Why are you always standing up for that greasy git?" Maru asked. "Do you have a crush on him or something?"
"No!" Lily said. " It's just that I don't like how cruel James and the others treat him. It's enough to make anyone sick."
"Sure it is," Kat said.
Suddenly, the doors crashed open, and four pirates stepped into the Great hall. The students stared at their new guests.
"What the hell are they doing now?" Lily asked.
She recognized them as the four missing guys from dinner. James and Peter stood to one side of the room. James wore a loose, white shirt and held a butterbeer bottle in his hand. His shirt was open, exposing part of his chest. Lily could help but stare at it.
Peter wore a loose, black shirt and denim jeans. Thankfully, his shirt was not open. A bandanna was around his head.
Remus wore just a regular T-shirt and jeans, but he also had a cape, and a little, pink hat with a feather.
Sirius was wearing a dress, and there was a duck taped to his shoulder. Remus had an arm around Sirius's waist and a plastic sword at his throat.
"Ye bloody pirates!" Remus roared. "Ye want to see your fair beauty again, then you've gotta fight me for her."
"Then you have your fight, Mr. Moony!" Peter declared. With a mighty roar, Peter drew his plastic sword and charged at Remus. With a quick movement, Remus pushed Sirius behind him and broke his plastic sword.
"Too rash, Mr. Wormtail," Remus said. "This is why you don't send a boy to do a man's job. Mr. Prongs! Draw your sword!"
James looked at Remus like he was drunk then drew his butterbeer bottle.
"Your sword! You idiot!" Remus yelled. "But I want some of that after this is over!"
"Don't worry, Ms. Padfoot!" James called. "I'll save you!"
Sirius took that opportunity to scream like a girl.
"Then come at me!" Remus said. "I'm waiting. Better yet! I'll come to ye."
Remus charged at James, and James blocked his swing. The two of them fought all around the whole Great Hall. Even the Slytherins were getting into the entertainment.
While the show was going on, Severus Snape sat at the Slytherin table glaring at the four guys putting on the show.
"Idiots," he thought. "But now I have a way to get revenge on you. This will all be so marvelous."
As the show went on, Peter had retrieved Sirius once James had gotten Remus away from them. The two of them, together, ran out of the Great Hall.
"You stole Ms. Padfoot from me!" Remus yelled as he watched Peter go. "Now you will feel my wrath!"
But at that moment, James had run Remus through with his plastic sword. Remus stared at it for a while then fell to his side. He was dead.
"Well, I'd better get his body out of here." James said. "Who wants to stare at a corpse while they're trying to eat? I certainly don't! Drinks all around!"
With that said, James grabbed Remus's legs and dragged him out of the Great Hall. The students cheered once the doors were closed.
When everyone settled down, Dumbledore stood up.
"I hope we have all learned a lesson in this," Dumbledore said. "Drugs are bad."
Later, when the original Marauders came down, Remus found a note attached to his plate. Raising an eyebrow, he picked it up and read it.
Come to the lake, alone.
Remus ate his food and set off towards the lake outside the castle. While on the way, he felt a shudder pass through him, but it wasn't cold.
"Why am I at the lake?" he asked himself.
Right when he stepped to the shore of the lake, a net closed around him and he was flung into a tree. He hung from a branch that hung over the water. Severus emerged from the shadows and laughed at him.
"It isn't so funny when you're the one being picked on, is it?" he asked.
"What?" Remus asked. "I haven't picked on you all day? What are you talking about?"
"You remember," Severus purred. "How you and Sirius humiliated me by switching the ingredients around in Potions! How you made me sing that song!"
"I did that?" Remus asked.
"Let him go, Snivellus," James said from behind the two of them. "Or we'll toss you in that lake!"
Severus turned around. James, Sirius, and Peter faced him with their wands pointed. He smiled.
"Too late Marauders," he said. "Rope cut!" (I don't remember the cutting spell's name)
Peter pointed his wand at Remus.
"Accio Remus Lupin!" Peter bellowed.
Sirius and James aimed at Severus.
"Expelliarmus!" Sirius said.
"Stupefy!" James yelled.
Severus fell, and his wand fell right next to him.
Remus cut himself free and went to his friends after he was safely on shore.
"Sirius," Remus said, "why can't I remember a thing that happened today?"
"I'd like to know the same question," James agreed. "What happened?"
"Well," Sirius began, "I must've forgot to put an ingredient in the potion. You should've remembered what happened. Too bad though. Lily looked like she might've been ready to ask you out, James."'
"What was that?" James asked threateningly.
"Wanna kill him?" Remus asked.
"Yeah." James answered.
"But Remus!" Sirius protested. "I saved your life! Now you want to kill me?"
But his protests fell to deaf ears. At that moment, Remus and James started to chase a screaming Sirius Black back to the castle.
Peter just stood staring at the three of them in silence. He raised an eyebrow once Sirius started screaming.
"Well," he said to himself. "It was their fault for taking the potion in the first place. I'm just glad it wasn't me."
He then started to walk up to the castle forgetting about the unconscious Slytherin lying at the shore of the lake.
Reaka: Well, that's it. The pirate prank that the Marauders did was actually based on a true story. At Reese Craven's birthday party, the four of us dressed up as pirates. I had a cape, a little blue hat with a feather and a duck that was duck-taped to my shoulder. Reese Craven's character was Captain Jack Sparrow. Unlike the prank in the Great Hall, we ran around Reese's block and sword fought in the middle of the road. The dialogue was my own special touch. We didn't really say all that crap.
Now that that's out of my system, I'd like to thank the kind reviewers that read this story! And they are...
Reese Craven
Fool Moon
Dark and prone to violence
clarie
Silverstar24
Luthien
Kaydon
Versipellis
pIPPINpIRATE
Monkee-Frodo (a.k.a. Too Lazy To Sign In)
Dumbledore's Emerald Phoenix
Marker the Baka
dancing in darkness
someonelse
loonygrl90
Singin-newsies-goil
The BritBrit
Tanya J Potter
kaibygirl
Thank you all! And to those of you who have yet to review me, I thank you kindly for those too! See you around!