Okies, I apologize for no updates in over 3 months, but a lot of writer's block and finals in school. That, and I've fallen in love with someone who's not paint and plastic (a.k.a., not an anime character, but a real person.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop, but I really, really, REALLY want to own a certain green-haired bounty hunter (3 guesses who).
***
"What!?!?!?" Spike screamed as he woke up, to his surpries, not in the kitchen, but in his seldom shown bedroom. He realized the entire day before had been a dream, and he hadn't really....done that with Faye. He sighed and reached into the pocket of his suit to find a certain cardboard box, his first and only love.
"This is too good to be true," he muttered as he pulled out a paper roll. It felt the same, but he quickly realized that it was unrolling in his hand. He stared at the note, and almost cried.
"Damn it Ed!" He yelled loudly.
"We have got to find out how to break her," Faye said tiredly, leaning against the wall near the the door to Spike's room.
"Do you think there's actually a way?" Jet rumbled dejectedly, eating from a Styrofoam cup of noodles.
"We attack," Spike began, "her only weakness."
"Yes. We need to hide—"
***
"Einie-winie! Tomato!" Ed sang as she floated through the rotating gravity simulator looking for her friend. Coming around a bend, Jet and Faye appeared, smirking with their arms folded across their chests. "Hi-hi Faye-Faye and Jet-person! Edward's looking for—"
"Ein and Tomato?" Jet offered innocently.
"Yeppers!" Ed replied happily doing a backflip in midair.
"Why don't you go ask Spike if he knows where they are?" Faye said sweetly. "I think he's in the living room!"
"Okies, Faye-Faye! Thankies Jet-person!" Ed floated off in the direction of the living room singing a song about a crimson cherry and a gorgeous grape falling in love.
"We've got her now," Jet and Faye said simultaneously.
***
"Spiiiiiike-persoooon!" Ed howled when she rolled into the living room. "Spike-Spike! Edward is looking for Tomato and Ein!!!" After saying his name, Ed heard a whimper that sounded like the Bebop's faithful dog. The sound came from a room Ed hadn't been in before. "Ein? Spike-person? Tomato?"
Ed crawled into the dark room. The door shut with a click behind her.
"Woof!"
"Ein!" Ed shrieked happily. "I looked all over for you, why were you hiding in here?" All of a sudden, the lights blazed on, revealing....no one.
"Who turned the lights on Ein?" Ed asked, before she was seized, dragged into a chair, and swiftly tied to it. She then noticed Ein was handcuffed to a pole stuck firmly in the ground.
"Well, Edward," Spike began. "As you can see, this 'clean-up job' has driven us over the edge!" ?He smiled derangedly. Ein barked.
"If Edward remembers correctly, this is only the Number 2 Day!" Ed said cheerfully, not at all worried with the situation at hand. Ein barked.
"We brought Tomato here for you so we could get our zip crafts back." Faye said sweetly. "If you don't agree to do so..." Jet picked up a hammer and held it threateningly over Tomato. Ein barked.
Ed didn't know what to do. Let Spike, Jet, and Faye smoke again, or have Tomato be killed. And if Tomato was killed, Edward would be useless to the Bebop and would be kicked out. And if Tomato broke, all the systems would be running again. Ed decided quickly.
"Alrighty-tighty-mighty, Edward will let Faye-Faye's Redtail free and she can go get the death-sticks!" Edward sang, pretending to feel no remorse.
"We knew you'd be helpful, Ed!" Jet smiled at her. "Now do your job!" Ed typed at the computer with her toes and a moment later, Faye ran out of the room skipping.
"Faye-faye, Edward programmed the Redtail to go to the nearest asteroid's store and back, no stops at casinoes or racetracks!" Ed sang and Faye grunted in anger.
"Just keep telling yourself that we're getting cigarettes, Faye," Spike said soothingly to Faye, who was climbing into her ship.
"We're all counting on you, sweetheart!" Jet said fatherly. "Remember: no Camels."
"FREEDOM!!!!" Faye yelled as the gate opened and she flew out the opening.
***
It had never felt so good to fly. Faye was grinning the entire trip, even as she paid the bill at the gate exit. She was whistling a cheerful tune as she piled the numerous cartons of cigarettes onto the checkout line.....thing, and handed the cheerful blonde cashier her Woolong card.
Let's see, about 10 cartons of cigs, about 2000 Woolongs each should be—
"Miss?" The preppy blonde said, distracting Faye from her complicated math. "There are no Woolongs on this card."
Faye's eye began to twitch, a red blush spread across her face, and before she knew it—
"DAMN IT EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
***
"Yes, Faye's back!" Jet said happily, as he cut the windtunnel tape that held Ed and Ein to the chairs. Spike ran off happily into the next room to greet Faye, his faorite person at that specific moment. "See? You two just need to learn that it never works when you try to mess with grown-ups, it never work—"
"DAMN YOU ED!!!!!!"
"Spiuke, what's the problem?" Jet asked urgently as he ran into the room with Faye behind him, sobbing. Spike took a deep, and very angry breath as he looked into Jet's eyes. Without saying a word, Jet realized what had happened. He turned to Ed...but she was gone.
"Wha—what should w—we do?" Faye gasped as she calmed down from her stress-induced heart murmer.
"We can't let her beat us like this again," Spike answered evenly. "She's only one girl, we're three adults. This has gone too far."
***
"I think we shouls sleep here tonight Ein!" Ed said cheerfully as she snuggled under a blanket inside the cramped air duct, unaware of the devious plot of the three crewmates, slowly driven mad with desire. Yes, a desire for the cancerous smoke of the cigarette.
***
Damn good last line!!!! Woo-hoo, sorry for the three month wait. I'll try more, I just was really busy! I wanna thank:
Kendra Luehr- Thx for the reviews, I'm glad you laughed you ass off!!!
Anaesthesia- I really liked how you talked about the story and its strong points. Finally a review with substance!!!!
GiGi- Indeed!!!!
MercuryWater- Very Flattering!!
AnimeGurl- Thanks, that's really nice, I hope you like this chappy!
BirdieRumia- Well said, thanks!
Aolani- Thanks, I hope you read this!
Chaos Queen- Hi! I'll call you tomorrow and thanks for the review!!!
Blindy- This is one of the nicest reviews ever. Hope this chapter is as good as the others!
MichiSpiritChan- Lol, I hate online withdrawel. And no, that isn't a real stage, made up for humor!!!
TORI- Cool cool!!! Thanks, that was really nice!
Ichigo-nuclear- Indeed, procrastination is a way of life. Thanks for coming over last night!!
Feng Shui Goddess- Thanks for the review, I'll try to update more!
Sakura Rain- Damn, you laugh a lot...thanks!
KodachiSoul- Wow, that was really nice!!!!!! I'll update again soon.
I can't tell you how great these reviews are and how much you guys kick-ass!
Chlorophyll,
Qui-ti