CHAPTER TWO

Rewards

Well, Monday came around in no time and Hiei went to prison. Er... work. As a prison guard. Yes, that's it. Anyway, this chapter is going to be about Hiei.

Not knowing exactly what to do when he got there, Hiei went to the head warden's office (For future reference, this guy's name is Akamatsu. Well, that's his last name, at least). As soon as he walked in, the man smiled and stood up.

"Hello, Hiei."

"Hello."

"Ready for your first day of work?"

"Ready? I suppose."

"All right. Well, we've got to get you a uniform, and... why do you have a sword with you?"

"I take it everywhere."

"Do you know how to use it?"

"Hai, baka! Didn't I tell you I used to teach martial arts?"

"Let me see it."

Hiei drew his sword and held it in front of him.

"It's actually sharp! What kind of martial arts teacher carries around a sharp sword?!"

"This one," Hiei said, sheathing his sword.

"Hai, well I suppose you won't need a gun, then. Better carry it anyway, though, just in case, ne?"

"Whatever, but I doubt I'd ever use it."

"Um... Well, let's just get you a uniform, all right?" Akamatsu said.

A little while later, Hiei was wearing the uniform of the prison guard and had been lectured on rules and procedures. He was standing beside the door in Akamatsu's office, looking rather bored and spiteful.

"I'm going to make you my personal bodyguard and assistant," the man had said. "If there's ever an escape or a riot, my safety is in your hands."

Well, standing there leaning against a wall all day was definitely easy pay, but he wasn't really concerned about money.

Actually, he was. This way, he didn't have to do anything, and he was getting money, and Shadow would leave him alone.

Then again... Once she got her a/c and in-ground swimming pool, who knows what she'd be wanting next? A tennis court? Maybe she'd want to convert the basement into a bar.

Hiei was so lost in his thoughts he barely even noticed Akamatsu say, "Well, it's time for my rounds. Come with me." Luckily, he did notice and hurriedly trailed after him.

The prisoners, for the most part, were assholes. They made stupid noises and threw things and Hiei was sorely tempted to murder all of them. Or course, he didn't, because then he'd be shipped off to the high-security penitentiary and have to escape and go back to Makai to stay away from Ningenkai police as well as Koenma.

But since he didn't kill anyone, he was safe.

The rest of the day was extremely boring. Hiei ran some errands, delivering papers to people and getting signatures from other people and all in all he decided his job didn't suck as bad as he'd expected it to.

But it did suck.

When he got home, he was promptly greeted rather loudly by Shadow.

"Hello, Hiei! How was work?!" she asked. "Fun? Boring? Stupid? Sucky?"

"Fneh," he replied.

"Really? So it wasn't half as bad as you expected it to be but it still sucked. Well didn't I tell you you'd do fine? You didn't get fired!"

Hiei didn't respond.

"... Or did you?"

"Huh?"

"Get fired."

"Iie."

"Good."

"..."

"Sooo... are you hungry? I could make you a sandwich or something..."

Hiei stared at her.

"Are you seriously offering to fix me a sandwich, or am I hearing things? 'Cause that's got to be the first time I've ever heard that."

"Well I just thought that since you've got a job and you're getting me money, I should do something to return the favor, ne? Even if it is as simple as fixing your dinner and whatnot. I mean... You know what I mean."

"Hai."

The phone rang.

"That's probably Kurama," Shadow said. "Didn't he say he'd call?"

"Yeah." Hiei answered the phone. "Hello? Oh, hey Kurama."

With that confirmed, Shadow went into the kitchen to fix... sandwiches. She's sure going all-out, yeah?

Five minutes into their extravagant dinner, somebody rang the doorbell. Shadow stuffed the rest of her sandwich in her mouth and walked to the door. She opened it to find Eclipse standing there holding a suitcase.

"Hmmff?" Shadow said, her cheeks puffed out as she tried to chew the sandwich. Eclipse stared at her puffy-cheeked friend. For a minute, there was silence.

"You look like a chipmunk."

Shadow nearly choked. She tried to stop laughing so she could swallow her food, and eventually managed to after about dying.

"Why're you here?" she asked, swallowing.

"I was wondering if I could stay with you and Hiei for a while."

"Why?"

"My parents royally pissed me off!"

"Well they do that sometimes," Shadow said. "But if it's that bad, fine. Stay. We got plenty of room... Did I tell you Hiei got a job?"

"... If you did I don't remember."

"Well Hiei has a job. He's a guard at the prison."

"Are you serious?!"

"Absolutely."

Eclipse burst out laughing. Shadow stood aside and her friend walked in. They went to the dining room.

"Hiei, Eclipse is gonna stay with us for a little while cuz her parents royally pissed her off. All right?"

"Fine... But... Since when did my opinion matter?"

"Since I decided to ask it."

"Ah."

"Exactly. Now... Come with me, child," Shadow said, leading Eclipse away.

"Child?" she said, trailing after her friend.

Hiei survived that week at work. Shadow was so happy she not only hugged him until he couldn't breathe, but she also fixed a more elaborate dinner than sandwiches! She made some strange... something... with meat and rice and stuff... and surprisingly, it was good! Despite the fact that it looked like something you might find in vomit, it was good.

Sorry, that was gross. You want me to go into detail? Well, the rice looked like little maggots, and for all Hiei and Eclipse knew, they were. But they weren't. And...

Had enough yet?

Muwahahahaha!!

And after the good-tasting-but-disgusting-looking rice/meat concoction, they had cake. Made by Shadow. And it tasted good too! And Hiei complimented her!

"You know, you act like a total idiot, and sometimes I'm not sure whether you're acting or not, but at least you aren't a horrible cook."

"Well gee, thanks Hiei. At least there's one good thing about me."

"No, there's more than one good thing about you," he said, feeling a bit guilty for sounding rude and hoping he could think of something convincing that wouldn't sound like he was hitting on her.

"Stop right there!" Eclipse interrupted. "If you two are gonna have some mushy little love scene, do it when I'm not around!"

"You want that cake rammed up your nose?" Shadow threatened.

"No."

"Then shut up."

"Why? For all I know, you two have little make-out sessions and whatnot every day. Since nobody else lives here, it is a bit suspicious, you know," Eclipse pointed out, expecting to be throttled. Instead, she saw something... naughty... flash in Shadow's eyes. She watched as her friend walked to Hiei and wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind. She put her head next to his.

"Yes, of course," Shadow said, grinning. "We do that all the time. We play strip poker, too. And after that, the loser... well..." She went into insane fits of laughter, which usually signified something perverted was going through her head. Eclipse's eyes bugged as millions of ideas went through her mind.

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" She ran away. A second later she walked back in, looking cautious and suspicious. "I don't trust you two alone together anymore."

Shadow tried to look innocent. "Why not? What's wrong?"

"I think... if I leave you two alone, you'll... do things..."

"Of course we'll do things, idiot!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"We'll watch TV, and we'll play pool, and we'll read books, and..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Eclipse's mind was not functioning. All she was hearing was 'We'll have sex, and more sex, and more sex, and...'

"I think she's flipped her lid," Hiei said.

"Hai. Her mind is vulnerable. Maybe I could eat her brain."

"... Nani?"

"Her lid. Her lid is flipped, her mind is open, her brain is exposed, and I shall eat it for dinner."

"... Good luck finding it," Hiei said, shrugging. He stood up and Shadow took her arms from around his shoulders.

"Where are you going?" Shadow asked.

"Up to my room. You know, you didn't have to go through all that trouble to make dinner and everything," Hiei said. Shadow shrugged.

"I only burned myself twice."

Hiei raised his eyebrows. "Is that good?"

"It didn't really hurt that bad... Anyway, I think I'd better try to calm Eclipse down... If you want anything else, feel free to ask... I mean, you're the working man of the house now, right? You boss me around," Shadow said.

"You think that's how it works, huh?"

"Perhaps."

Suddenly, Eclipse jumped between them.

"TOO CLOSE, TOO CLOSE! NO SMOOCHIES! NO NO NO!"

"God, Eclipse! We're not gonna kiss!" Shadow said.

"Yeah right! You were about three inches apart!"

"Aye. So?"

"So usually when a guy and a girl are three inches apart, they then go ahead and KISS."

"Whatever. Look, I'm going up to my room," Hiei said. "Good night."

"Good night Hiei," Shadow said sweetly, just to scare Eclipse worse. Her friend turned to her.

"What do you two do when nobody's around?"

Monday. The first day of Hiei's third week at the prison. It was boring and exactly the same as every other day. He stood in Akamatsu's office, half asleep, supposedly guarding him.

The phone rang, bringing him back to the real world. Akamatsu pressed the button for speaker phone.

"What?" His normal greeting.

"Sir, we've got a few more prisoners... Teenagers. What do you want me to do with them?"

"They're here? Now?"

"Yes sir."

"I'll send Hiei for them." With that he hung up. "Hiei... Take the new prisoners to cell thirteen. Here's the keys. They're in the front office."

Hiei took the keys and walked out of the office, down the hall between the prison cells, noting that cell thirteen was empty, then stepped into the police office. His jaw dropped. He moved his mouth but couldn't say anything, because standing there, all of them wearing handcuffs, were his closest friends. Plus Kuwabara, too.

Yes, I know. It's not as long as usual, but at least I updated. Besides, I thought I'd just leave you with a nice little cliffhanger. Don't worry, the cliff isn't all that high. Just about 50 feet, maybe? Anywho, review, people. Maybe you could suggest what they're in prison for. I mean, I have some idea, but I need options here. Options options options. Ya know? 'Course ya do.

Oh, you want a dictionary? Hai means yes, iie means no, nani means what, and I think that's it.