A/N: HI EVERYBODY! I UPDATED! I'm so sorry you guys, please read! I love you all, and this is kind of a short chapter, but it's getting me back on my groove.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bebop. Wait, I don't own anything, do I? Except the Bebop CDs. But yeah. It's not mine. STOP BEING SO INQUISITIVE, DAMNIT!

***

"Bang..."

"What?!" Faye sat up in bed, clutching the sheet to her bare chest and breathing heavily.

"What's wrong?"

"WHAT?!?!" Faye screamed, her head whirling to the left and calming down when realizing it was only Spike in her room. Wait. Only Spike?

"Since when did I get relieved seeing you in my bedroom in the middle of the night?" Wait. That came out wrong. She silently hoped that Spike hadn't caught it—

"Oooh, is a lonely girl in need of some comfort? Did she have a bad dream?"

"What the hell are you doing in my room, Spike!?" Faye yelled angrily, pointing a finger in his direction, then hurriedly grabbing the slipping sheets.

"I can't be in the room for two seconds without you grabbing yourself," Spike said with false disgust. "You poor lonely girl."

"Do I look that lonely now, Spiegal?" She asked calmly, holding out her gun and squinting her eyes at the target. "You've got ten seconds to tell me why you're in here."

"Faye—"

"Nine."

"I'm just—"

"Eight."

"Will you please—"

"Four."

"What? That wasn't four seconds!"

"It is now. Three."

"Faye!"

"Two."

"Jet said for me to get you to, um, go over the 'surprise party' for Ed." Faye put the gun away, smiling, but threatening to shoot Spike if he came into her room without permission again. He walked out of the room and Faye got dressed, following him a few minutes later.

"So Edward is getting a party for helping the Beboppers quit smoking the death sticks?" Ed mused to herself, rolling over in the air duct to face Ein. "What do you think puppy?" He gave a suspicious bar in response. "Are Spike and Jet And Faye-Faye plotting to overthrow the rule of Ed?" A hurt expression crossed over her face. "This cannot be, Einy-weiny! They know Ed is only trying to help them!" She crawled throught the air duct degectedly, making her way to the place above Jet's room to eavesdrop on the conspiring bounty hunters.

"So we tell her that we're giving her something good, and then she'll go into the room and—"

"We've tried that before, remember?" Spike said, interrupting Faye. She narrowed her eyes at him as he kept talking. "What we need to do is..."

"What, you lunkhead?!" Faye yelled. "If you're so fucking smart, say something—"

"Quiet, both of you!" Jet whispered solemnly. "She must never learn of this. I have formulated a plan that I believe that is great. Great. Just like Thai food." The younger adults stared at the dreamy expression Jet's face before her shook his head and continued. "Faye, you must... give Ed 'the talk.'" Faye paled at the term and narrowed her eyes again, this time at Jet.

"Are you fucking crazy!?" She yelled, again the loudest (but coolest) in the room. "I had to give that talk to my cousin—and holy shit I just remembered something!"

"What?" Spike said, uninterested. Faye was quiet now, breathing heavily and looking at the floor.

"Yeah, I'll do it," she said. "Anything for my precious cigarettes..."

"Great!" Jet said, and Faye's surprising outburst was forgotten by the two men in the room. "Spike, it's your job to gather all the tofu and dye it red."

"What?!" Spike protested, but Jet silenced him with a wave of his hand.

"Last but not least, my job is..." He trailed off, as if difficult for him to continue.

"What?" Faye whispered, temporarily docile from all the energy wasted on thinking up curses and making out with Spike.

"I have to cut my bonsai trees," Jet managed to say. You could just imagine a tear sliding down his cheek while he said this, but unfortunately, the only tears sliding down cheeks right now are from my eyes and on my cheeks as a result of the moving combination of Ave Maria's closing measures and not enough food in the house.

*coughs* Back to the story.

"Why must you do such a terrible thing?" Faye asked, thinking to herself that Jet was a horrible little baby for almost crying over some lousy trees that happened to hold the meaning of life.

"It's because... we must fake Ein's death."

Unfortunately for our heroine, Edward had fallen asleep and was unable to hear the fateful last words of the seemingly flawless plan that makes very little sense at the moment.

***

"How are we supposed to do this?" Spike asked.

Jet took a deep breath, going into his "let's state the obvious and like it!" mode. "While Faye distracts her with the horribly embarassing and time consuming talk, Spike will make the tofu look like guts, and I will make a plushie out of bonsai twigs and some old clothing of mine to look like Ein, which we will drench in the strange tofu mixture."

For those of you who totally got what Jet just said, you can wonder to yourselves why every freehand picture I draw of Faye makes her end up looking like the transvestite with the two-day-old beard I saw in downtown San Diego. For those of you who are confused, they're basically gonna make a fake Ein to distract Ed.

"Why would she fall for this?" Faye questioned.

"You're gonna give Ed a few drinks for her womanly initiation!" Jet giggled like a girl, probably reminisching what his womanly initiation was like.

"I'm gonna drug up a little girl?" Faye said, skeptical of the legality of the plan.

"Yep!" Spike said happily. "I wish I could drug Ed up. She'd probably be hilarious!"

Pathetically, this all seemed perfectly normal to the three, and they scurried off to prepare the master plan. Ed woke up a few moments later, rubbing her eyes and completely unaware of the seconds plan cooked up by the nicotine-starved bounty hunters on their third day without the death sticks.

***

A/N: Sorry it was short. I'm trying to get back on my groove, as I so lovingly put it. I haven't really been in a really "WHEEE!" mood lately, so sorry if this wasn't as good as the other chappies. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I love you guys! Oh, and they were getting REALLY OOC at the end, but oh well. They're nicotine starved! How can they not be insane?

*huggles and apologies*

Qui