Wow. It took me a month to get out chapter six, then I go and finish chapter seven like… a week afterwards. Or was it even that long? Yup. It's been less than a week. Amazing, don't you think?

kaida13- Everybody hates Karasu. *sob* I bet he feels unloved… Then again… WHO CARES? *is strangled by Karasu* And I don't think Yusuke's going to be fed to the weasels… Not in this chapter, at least.

Wizardess Gal- Interesting… Sounds like fun. Sounds like something I'd do if I didn't hate everyone in my school.

Madame Arrow Foxfire- Heh heh. Yeah. He's really normal. Not. *Is strangled by Kurama* Damn, I'm getting strangled a lot…

Mari Youma- Sounds like… not a whole lotta fun. *squirming while imagining a lot of worse things than breaking knees* Yuck.

chocogurl- Well, read on and you'll find out how she does. She does just marvelous, if you ask me. Note the sarcasm.

Short On Oxygen- Yeah, I have a picture of her. It's posted on myotaku (.com) under the screen name Shadow Jaganshi… It's not really all that great. She's dressed really strange… Heh heh.

Demon Ashika- Well, whaddaya know. I "uppy-dated." ^_^ Marvelous, don't you think?

Zooom! Guess what! I got Poltergeist Report! It's cool! I'm happy! It's funny to watch it in Japanese. Kurama has a girl voice actor. But after a while it actually doesn't sound very strange. And Hiei doesn't sound... well… At first I thought he didn't sound as evil, then I thought he sounded more evil… This is the Japanese voices I'm talking about. I decided that since they cussed so much that it made my mother think it was rated R (it's suggested 16 and older) that I'll just have to watch it in Japanese. So you know what? I will. Hmph! I'll just READ the cuss words that Kuwabara says in every sentence he speaks throughout the entire movie, dammit! He's too stupid to say anything else. *is strangled by Kuwabara but he's so weak it doesn't effect her* Onward! *hits Kuwabara with a frying pan repeatedly*

CHAPTER SEVEN

How odd

"Operator."

"Could you connect me to the Girl Scouts' Company?"

"Girl Scouts? You don't want to talk to them. They're raving lunatics. Once, they kidnapped my best friend and were gonna put him into cookies because he didn't want to buy anything from them. Please do not further insult me. Never mention the Girl Scouts again in my presence. Consult the yellow pages if it's so important."

Click.

"What the hell was that, Shadow?!"

"What?"

"You're supposed to do what they ask, not hang up on them!"

"Nah, they don't know what they're talking about. They don't want to talk to Girl Scouts. Girl Scouts aren't worth anyone's time."

"If you don't do your job right, then I'm afraid I'll have to report it to Akamatsu, and you'll end up in prison. If I don't report it, somebody else will."

"You wouldn't do that, Hiei! I'm your lackey, remember? You don't want a rebellion on your hands, do you?"

"You're not my lackey, Shadow."

"You have a job. A real job. You're prime ruler, right?"

"No."

"Yes you are."

Buzz.

"Operator."

"Could you connect me with Dell headquarters?"

"Uh... Yeah."

Frantic pushing of buttons and flipping of switches.

"You connected yet?"

No reply.

Click.

"Well, he'd better be, cuz I just hung up."

"Oh, God, Shadow..."

~Ding dong...~

"Hello, Ma'am! It's a nice day for a deal, don't you think?"

"Look, kid. The last crap I bought from a door to door salesman broke before I even looked at it. You're a cute kid and all, but I ain't got the money to waste on worthless crap."

Slam.

"Cute...? Some fat lady in a bath robe just called me cute..."

Trudging down the street...

At the next door.

~Ding Dong~

"Hello, Sir! It's a nice day for a deal, don't you think?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NO I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR COOKIES!!!"

SLAM!

"But Sir! I'm not even selling cookies!"

Baka post officer shows up... Delivering letters... How fun...

"What's this, Urameshi? I thought you were a hair stylist!"

"Kuwabara? What the heck are you doing?"

"I'm delivering mail."

Sound of mail slot on door opening.

"OW!"

"What's the deal? The mail won't go in!"

"Baka! That guy is watching through the mail slot and you just stuck an envelope in his face!"

"Owie..."

Angry guards ganging up on baka children hanging outside some lunatic's door.

"Okay, kids, why don't you get around to doing your jobs..."

"Yes, Sir."

The baka postal worker opened the mailbox.

"Let's see... The Soma family has... Fourteen overdue telephone bill notices... Three phone bills... Sixteen… What was that?"

Scuffle scuffle.

"Hmmm?"

Two seconds later, the baka postal worker has a rabid squirrel latched onto his face.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

~Jingle~

"Hello, Kurama!"

"Augh... Karasu, can't I go one day without seeing you?"

"Nope!"

And the sound of a certain redhead banging his head off the counter echoed through the shop.

Revv, revv, revv...

"Okay Eclipse, now stop revving the engine and try going somewhere!"

"Okay..."

Zoom! CRASH!

As you can see, this whole 'working' deal isn't working too well.

But it shall continue! For insanity is good!

"Hiei, I have to go somewhere!" Shadow called into the living room as she pulled on her boots.

"Where?"

"The monastery."

"The where?"

"I dunno. Do we even have a monastery in this city?"

"... I don't think so."

"Then I'm going to the shrine. Wherever it is they have monks," Shadow said. Hiei looked at her sideways.

"Why?"

"No reason."

And with that, Shadow walked out the door and jumped over the porch railing (even though the steps down to the ground are in a straight line from the door, she made a detour to the left so she could jump over the railing).

"No reason? Yeah right, you've got to have a reason, and you're not leaving me behind until you tell me what it is," Hiei said, appearing next to her.

"Hiei, you're my guard during the day. This is after my work hours! I'm allowed to enjoy myself!" She took off running.

"YOU'RE GOING TO THE SHRINE TO ENJOY YOURSELF? THAT'S NOT WHAT THOSE THINGS ARE FOR, YOU KNOW!"

"Well fine!" Shadow snapped, stomping back to where Hiei stood. "If you must know, I went there a couple days ago and had sex with a monk, and now I'm going back for a second round."

Hiei moved his mouth soundlessly for a second before he managed to make noise.

"No you didn't."

"You're right. I didn't."

"I knew it!"

"I know you knew I knew you knew."

"Did you ever notice that 'know' is 'wonk' backwards?" Hiei said. Shadow stared at Hiei, amazed he'd pointed out something stupid and random that she'd never noticed.

"Well 'how' is just 'who' rearranged!" Shadow countered. "Or... is 'who' just 'how' rearranged?"

"Racecar is the same forwards as backwards."

Shadow paused. "What the hell is 'wonk'?!"

Hiei blinked. "Beats me."

"Well why would somebody turn it backwards and make it 'know'?!"

"I dunno."

"What the heck is 'wonk'?!"

Hiei stared at Shadow blankly. "You already asked that."

"Well dear God! When I start repeating my questions that means they're important! Must go to shrine and seek answers to questions!" With that, Shadow tore down the street, Hiei close behind yelling at her.

"Monk, we seek an answer," Shadow said, kneeling in front of a monk whom she had carefully chosen out of all the cloaked and hooded figures in the shrine.

"What is it, my child?" the monk said.

"Err... Could we talk to you in private?" Shadow said, glancing around.

"Of course." The monk lead Shadow and Hiei into a separate room. "Now, what is it you ask?"

"What is 'wonk'?"

"'Tis 'know,' only backwards," the monk answered, taking off his hood. He was young and a sparkle of mischief lit up his eyes. He didn't look much like a monk type of character. Hiei looked at him suspiciously.

"Why do I get the feeling you're not a real monk?"

"Probably because I'm not," the monk answered. "But Shadow-chan is a friend and I speak to her often."

"You do not. I just met you yesterday..." Shadow said.

"We learned a lot in a short amount of time," the monk said. Hiei quirked an eyebrow.

"When did you find the time to come visit some monk?" he asked Shadow. She shrugged.

"I didn't visit a monk. He's not a monk. This is the older brother of one of the girls on the soccer team I coached for a little while."

"I have cleansed young Shadow of her sins and in doing so, have added to the list of sins I have committed over the years..."

"... Shadow, you were lying when you said you had sex with a monk, weren't you?" Hiei said, worried.

"He's not a monk!"

"So you could have had sex with him and it technically wouldn't have been a lie if you'd told me that you didn't have sex with a monk."

A scream echoed down the street and Shadow glanced out the window as Kuwabara ran by on the street below, desperately clawing at a squirrel on his face, followed by a pack of dogs.

"That's true, but I didn't have sex with anyone, Hiei. I was being sarcastic," Shadow assured him. Then she added seductively, "If I wanted to have sex with anyone, I would be trying harder to get you, sexy beast."

Hiei's eye twitched slightly. The monk... er... false monk... cleared his throat.

"You came seeking answers... Did you get them?"

"No. What is 'wonk,' wise monk?" Shadow asked.

"'Wonk' is 'know' backwards. If you change one letter, 'tis 'monk.' Anyone who speaks slang fluently may think of 'wonk' as sex or something related. Have your questions been answered, young Shadow?"

"Yes. Close enough to pass."

"Have your questions been answered, Little One?" the monk asked Hiei.

"Little One?" Hiei said coldly. "No. My question has not been answered."

"Then speak your question and I shall do everything in my power to give a satisfactory answer."

Kuwabara ran back the other way, screaming and still clawing at his squirrel-face.

"Why is Kuwabara such an idiot? Bet you can't answer that one."

"Kuwabara is an idiot because he was born that way, humans are stupid, and his sister has killed all his brain cells."

"That's a good answer, but I think there's more to it," Hiei said.

"I have another question!" Shadow chirped.

"Yes, Young One?"

"How do you know everything?"

"I am a monk. God has blessed me with grand intelligence and..."

"But you're not a monk," Hiei interrupted.

"Do you have a crystal ball?" Shadow asked suspiciously.

"Yes, of course," the guy answered sarcastically.

"Can I see your crystal ball?" Shadow asked (meaning it in the perverted way.)

"You can, as long as you have working eyes, but you may not." (knowing she meant it pervertedly)

"Damn," Shadow cursed. She turned to Hiei. "Can I see your crystal balls?"

And Hiei fell over right then and there, out cold in a dead faint. Yes, he knew she meant it that way too.

"Oops. Well, I'd better drag him home."

"No need. I know how to wake him. Kneel beside him and give me your hand," the monk said quietly. Shadow, not really sure what was going on, obeyed, and the monk put her hand right on Hiei's... well... below his waist. Shadow yelped and pulled her hand away instantly and Hiei was up in a flash.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

"Shadow-chan was going to take advantage of your incapacitated state," the non-monk said, smirking. Shadow glared up at him, then realized that since she was still on her knees, she was right at *that* level. She quickly stood up.

"Okay, this chapter has had too much superfluous pervertedicity, okay? Let's cut it out."

Many nods of agreement. Authoress hides in a hole for several hours in shame, but does not remove the pervertedness because it came out of her head and if she deletes it she will be at a loss for what to write, and will be forced to kick herself with steel-toed boots. Which would hurt.

Suddenly, since the authoress is sick of the perverted scaryness coming out of her mind (aka: Crystal Balls and "wonk"), the shrine, the false monk, and everything around Hiei and Shadow vanishes, being replaced by Shadow's room.

"Okay, now we're in my room... I'm tired. I worked hard today. Hiei, unless you want to sleep with me, get out of my room. I'm going to bed," Shadow said, doing a belly flop onto her bed and falling asleep the instant her door clicked shut behind Hiei.

The next day, Eclipse had her first big dirt bike tournament, and everybody took off the day to watch her crash and burn. Er... How negative of me...

"Next is young Eclipse Shinomori! Here she comes..." the announcer said. Shadow and the others watched Eclipse zoom by on her bike, going towards the first jump. She hit it and went up, and up, and up, doing some strange stunts in the air, before hitting the ground and crashing her bike.

"And there she goes!" the announcer finished.

Eclipse walked off the course in shame.

"Aw, you did fine!" Shadow said later that day as her friend moped around the house.

"Nah... Hiei, do you think I could pick another job...? I don't think freestyle is right for me... I have no talent... I'm a talentless idiot..." Eclipse said.

"BAKAYAROU, STOP MOPING! DO YOU SEE ME MOPING?! I'M AN IDIOT, BUT DO I WALLOW IN SLEF-PITY BECAUSE OF IT? NO! BECAUSE NOT ONLY AM I HALF-BREED FIRE DEMON, BUT I'M PART MARY SUE AS WELL! IT MAY BE SCARY, BUT OVER THE... er... some number of stories... THAT'S HOW IT SEEMS! SOMEBODY POINTED IT OUT TO THE ALL-MIGHTY AUTHORESS SOMEWHERE, AND IT WAS NOT INTENDED AS AN INSULT AND THE ALL-MIGHTY AUTHORESS DID NOT TAKE IT THAT WAY, BUT NOT SHE NOTICES THAT I SEEM TO BE SLIGHTLY MARY SUE-ISH!!! BUT I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE, BECAUSE CHANGE IS BAD!!!"

"JEEZ, YOU THINK YOU YELL LOUD ENOUGH?!" Eclipse screamed from down the hall where Shadow's voice waves had blown her.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Good lord," Hiei muttered. He grabbed his dinner plate and shattered it over Shadow's head.

"Ow," Shadow squeaked. She fell flat on her face.

"Well, that wasn't Mary Sue-ish," Hiei said absently. Shadow groaned.

"So what about getting me another job, Hiei?" Eclipse asked as she walked up the hall towards the two fire demons.

"I'm sure it could be arranged... I mean, Kurama's the only one we haven't had to relocate yet... Kuwabara doesn't count. His job wasn't all that challenging in the first place."

"Neither is selling flowers," Shadow pointed out.

"Yeah, but poor Kurama has to put up with Karasu all day. He's being stalked," Hiei said. Shadow and Eclipse shuddered.

"Stalking people is fun," Shadow said happily. "I saw a shirt once that said, 'Are you stalking me? Cause that'd be super.'"

Hiei let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Eclipse, tomorrow we'll talk to Akamatsu. You know, he's gonna get pissed about all these job changes. It's supposed to be a punishment, but you all are just changing jobs whenever you get sick of the one you're at..."

"That's not true! I stopped when soccer season was over, Yusuke got fired, and if Eclispe continues being a freestylist, she'll get fired too. So HA. You're wrong, I'm right, you're wrong, I'm right, you're rong, I'm... rite...? I can't spel. Ah! Dam! Ah! Stopp iit! AHHHHH! Hay, Eye speled 'ahhhh' write. Wel whut do ewe ekspect at 1:39 AM on a Fry-day? Wel teknikly issa Sat-her-day naow."

"Shadow..." Another groan/sigh escaped Hiei's lips. "Get a life, kid."

"I ain't no kid! I'mza full growed adult! As full growed as you're gonna gets in this parts uh Juh-pain."

Hiei groaned and slammed his head off the table.

"Well 'least I ain't bein' no perv-ert no more, know what I mean?"

"AUTHORESS SHADOW LADY, WRITING AT 1:43 IN THE MORNING IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!!!"

(Curse you, Hiei, I've written at 3 in the morning before! Don't tell me what's good for me! It's my story and my brain, and if I want to use my miniscule brain to write a story when I'm too bored to be tired, then I'll just go ahead and do that, and YOU CANNOT STOP ME, WEAK FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahem. Back to the story that is being written when I'm too bored to be tired...)

"Dang, thees chapper ish short..."

"Not really..."

A few seconds later, after word count...

Not counting these words or the chapter number and title, there's 2,450 words according to MW.

"Well that's long enough!"

"Yeah, but this chapter is stupid..."

"Dude, we aren't even s'posed to know this is just a story..."

"Oops."