I'm sorry for those who are waiting for the update of "Where's my son?" or the sequel of "Wanting Cole Desperately." which I co-write with my friend Gaby (You can also read her stories which are amazing, her penname is Beba Halliwell-Turner... Wow looks like someone is making some ad here!!! lol) under the penname of Charming_Beba. I kinda have a huge rush of inspiration on this story and I really enjoy to write it and to have such great reviews... Yeah, you can yell at me if you want me to update the other stories!!
We all have choices to make... Some are harder than others...
Chapter 11
"Doubts"
#~#~#~#~#~#
When she heard Paige calling her, Piper hurried up to the attic with Liz in her arms and followed by Leo, Tom and Will.
Liz beckoned to be in Phoebe arms and Piper handed the little girl to her mother. Phoebe kissed her daughter on the cheek and Liz rested her head on her Mommy's shoulder without saying anything as she used to do since Belthazor appeared in front of her eyes.
"Cole told that Brad took his powers from demons, that's why we haven't found anything the first time we looked in the book for something to help Cole. No, I have what we need." Paige explained.
Piper nodded and Tom asked: "Is it to help my Daddy?"
Paige knelt down at the same level of Tom and kiss him on the cheek.
"Yeah, we're going to help your Daddy and everything will be okay." She told him.
The little boy nodded and smiled at his Aunt.
Paige took a sheet of paper and quickly wrote the spell she has found on the book.
"Let's go." She said as she started walking towards the door. All the other member of the family followed her to the basement.
When they entered the basement, Cole had his eyes closed and acting like he was fighting to catch some air. He was feeling and looking more and more horrible.
"Don't worry Cole, it's gonna be okay." Paige told him.
Cole slightly nodded without opening his eyes and he turned back into Belthazor. Both of Liz and Phoebe jumped when they saw that the demon was back. Liz tighten her grip on Phoebe who patted her little girl's back.
Paige walked towards Phoebe and said before brushing her sister's hair: "Come on Pheebs, we need you on this one."
Phoebe nodded and Piper joined her sisters.
The Charmed Ones read the spell and Cole morphed back into his human form.
Paige walked towards the cage and asked: "Cole, how do you feel?"
"Kay." Cole whispered.
"Can you feel Belthazor coming back?" Paige asked.
Cole shook his head no and Paige asked: "Can you control him?"
Cole nodded and Paige asked: "Are you sure?"
Cole nodded and again and Paige quickly opened the cage and started to heal him. Leo joined her and healed him as well.
Once they finished, Cole open his eyes and whispered: "Thanks."
Paige and Leo both smiled and helped him to go out of the cage.
When Cole was up, he looked at Phoebe and immediately looked down when he saw the look on her face. He saw her tears and he saw her fears. At this very moment, he knew that the special link he shared with Phoebe and with his kids was broken and that it will take forever for them to heal the wound he had caused while not being able to control the monster who was inside of him.
Paige saw tears rolling on her brother-in-law's cheeks and told him: "You need to rest."
Cole used his powers and a bed appeared in the basement.
"Better like this." He weakly said.
Paige smiled and helped him to lay down.
"Bring the kids and Phoebe back home." He begged.
"Okay." Paige told him.
"I'll be right back." She told him.
She orbed out and when she orbed back next to him, she had three covers with her and she put all of them one Cole who was now shaking like a leaf.
"Thanks." He said with a slight smile.
Paige smiled back at him and ordered: "Now close your eyes and try to get some rest."
Cole did was he was told and closed his eyes.
The youngest Halliwell walked towards her big sisters and said: "Phoebe, you and the kids should rest, you all had a very hard day. I'll bring you back home while Piper will stay by Cole's side."
Both of the sisters nodded and Paige took Phoebe's hand and Tom's hand and she orbed them back in their living room.
"Hey babies, you are going to change into your Pj's while Mommy and I talk a little." Paige told to her nephew and her niece.
Phoebe put Liz on the floor and both of them walked in the room to get changed.
"Honey are you okay? You didn't say anything." Paige asked in a worried tone.
"I... I'm okay Paige, thanks." Phoebe said.
"Listen Phoebe, I now it's hard for you but Cole really needs you." Paige said.
Phoebe nodded and said: "I know, but, it's hard Paige, he hurt me, I know it wasn't really Cole, but..." She didn't finish her sentence and burst into tears.
Paige pulled her into her arms and said: "Shhhh, it's okay sis."
"It's going to take you some time to heal from that, to forget what happened, but you'll go through this, I know you will, you're strong Pheebs. I know you and Cole can make it." She added.
"I went through so much things already, I don't know if I'll be strong enough to go through this one." Phoebe sobbed.
"You'll do it... We will all help you, don't worry, we are all here for you." Paige said.
"Mommy! Liz and I are ready." Tom shouted from his room.
Phoebe quickly wiped away her tears and said: "Thank you so much Paige. I love you."
Paige smiled at her and said: "I love you too."
Phoebe smiled back at her sister and walked in the kids' room.
Before leaving, Paige walked in Cole and Phoebe's room and took some clothes for Cole and she orbed back in the basement.
Piper was sitting on the floor next to Cole's bed. Leo and Will were already in bed.
"How is he?" Paige asked as she put Cole's clothes on the floor next to the bed.
"He fell asleep." Piper replied.
"How's Pheebs?" Piper asked.
"Not really good." Paige truthfully replied.
"It's gonna be hard." They said in the same time.
Piper got up and said: "We need to rest as well. We won't help if we're tired."
Paige nodded and they both went upstairs in their rooms.
#~#~#~#~#~#
Meanwhile in Tom and Liz's room, Phoebe was sitting on her little girl bed who was already under the covers. Phoebe bent towards her and kissed her on the cheek.
"I love you baby." She whispered.
Liz nodded and closed her eyes. Phoebe kissed her on the forehead before getting up and walking towards her son's bed on which she sat down.
"Is Daddy okay now?" Tom asked.
"Yeah, I think so, but he is still a little tired because of what happened to him." Phoebe explained.
Tom nodded and Phoebe kissed him on the forehead and said: "I love you Tommy."
"I love you too Mommy." He replied.
Phoebe got up and walked in her room to get changed into her Pj's. Once she was in her Pj's, she walked toward her bed and sighed. She didn't feel like sleeping in this bed, not without Cole. She didn't feel really good in this room, she was scared and worried all the time, but it was even worst here.
She walked in the kids' room and laid down on Liz bed. The little girl was still awake.
"Can Mommy stay with you?" Phoebe asked.
Liz nodded and Phoebe wrapped her arms around her baby girl who fell asleep.
Phoebe stayed awake, she just couldn't sleep, she had too much things in mind.
She loved Cole with all her heart but it was just too hard to handle such an horrible thing.
Maybe things will never be the same between her and Cole.
Maybe their love wouldn't survive to this test and was it a test by the way?
Maybe she will never be able to let him touch her or kiss her.
Maybe things will never get better and they'll have to break up.
Maybe the kids will still be scared of their father.
What if he hurts her again?
What if he hurts the kids?
What if Liz never talks again?
She sighed and gave her daughter a small kiss on the forehead before closing her eyes and falling asleep.
#~#~#~#~#~#
Cole walked towards Phoebe, wrapping his arms around her from behind lovingly. He started running his hands on her belly and kissing her in the neck.
"Glad the kids are at the manor." Cole told her with a warm smile.
Phoebe nodded and turned in his arms to face him.
"Have you planned something to do?" She asked seductively.
"Actually, I've planned plenty of things." He replied in the same tone.
They both smiled and started kissing. The kiss was sweet at the beginning and then it became more and more passionate and demanding.
Phoebe moaned and broke the kiss just to say: "I love you Cole."
After that she brought her lips to Cole's who, as an answer, pulled her body against his and they continue to kiss passionately.
Cole slid his hands under Phoebe's blouse to caress her sides and her back.
Phoebe started to unbutton Cole's shirt and to caress his chest but none of them broke their intense kiss.
Cole lifted up Phoebe who wrapped her legs around his wait and carried her in their room, still not stopping to kiss her. They both laid down on the bed, Cole was on top, and he started to unbutton Phoebe's blouse.
Once Phoebe's blouse was removed, Cole started to kiss her stomach and he said: "As smooth as a baby's bottom."
Phoebe smiled and Cole kissed her passionately once again.
Suddenly, he turned into Belthazor and an athame appeared in his hand and he stabbed Phoebe in the stomach.
Cole woke up and sat up on his bed, all sweaty and out of breath. It was a nightmare, an horrible nightmare were once again he was hurting Phoebe. He tried to recover his breath and wiped away the tears which were falling down his cheeks. He looked around and remember he was in the basement at the manor. He laid back on the bed and sighed. He missed her and the kids so much, he wanted to be with them more than anything but he knew he couldn't. They needed time away from him, little Lizzie looked so scared when she looked at him and he was sure Phoebe hated him and was afraid as well.
He decided to be patient, to give her the time to heal from what Belthazor has done. He wasn't going to push her to come back to him. He was going to stay at the manor, in the basement until Phoebe tells him that he can come back home. He knew everything was his fault, that's why he didn't want to do anything to be sharp with her or to hurt her.
He sighed again.
'If things could be different.' He thought.
He has always thought that his life with Phoebe would be awesome and it was but all those horrible things they went through were breaking his heart because he knew that in a way or another, it was his fault.
He wanted to be the best father and the best husband but every time things were going wrong.
Maybe he didn't deserve to be happy because of all the things he did when he was Belthazor, now he was paying for all the crimes he has done in the past.
Maybe his life as a human was including that he would never be able to take care about the people he loved, to hurt them all time.
Maybe Phoebe's life would be happiest without him.
Maybe she was now regretting to be with him and to have children with him.
Maybe she didn't love him anymore...
What if she didn't want to see him anymore?
What if he never see Tom and Liz anymore?
What if he wasn't mean to be living anywhere else but in the Underworld?
What if his family was now rejecting him?
All those doubts filled Cole's mind. All those maybes and what if was driving him crazy. One thing was sure, he wouldn't leave if Phoebe didn't asked him to go away from her and they kids.
But what if she asks him to leave?
What will he do without them?
'I would prefer to die than to be far away from them.' He thought.
He remembered what it was like to be away from them like the time when he had to fight against the demons when Liz and Tom were just two little babies and he knew it was hurting too much. Not to be able to hold them in his arms, to kiss them, to laugh with them, to play football with Tom or to read stories to Liz, to take nap with Phoebe, to watch cartoons... It was driving him insane.
This night, he couldn't come back to sleep, he had too much things in mind, so he just waited for the day in his bed, wondering what was to come for him.
#~#~#~#~#~#
So, what did you think about it? Was it good, was it bad? What's going to happen?
Please review and feel free to say what you want about this story...
THANKS A LOT!
Want to join the update list? Give me your email in one of your reviews...
We all have choices to make... Some are harder than others...
Chapter 11
"Doubts"
#~#~#~#~#~#
When she heard Paige calling her, Piper hurried up to the attic with Liz in her arms and followed by Leo, Tom and Will.
Liz beckoned to be in Phoebe arms and Piper handed the little girl to her mother. Phoebe kissed her daughter on the cheek and Liz rested her head on her Mommy's shoulder without saying anything as she used to do since Belthazor appeared in front of her eyes.
"Cole told that Brad took his powers from demons, that's why we haven't found anything the first time we looked in the book for something to help Cole. No, I have what we need." Paige explained.
Piper nodded and Tom asked: "Is it to help my Daddy?"
Paige knelt down at the same level of Tom and kiss him on the cheek.
"Yeah, we're going to help your Daddy and everything will be okay." She told him.
The little boy nodded and smiled at his Aunt.
Paige took a sheet of paper and quickly wrote the spell she has found on the book.
"Let's go." She said as she started walking towards the door. All the other member of the family followed her to the basement.
When they entered the basement, Cole had his eyes closed and acting like he was fighting to catch some air. He was feeling and looking more and more horrible.
"Don't worry Cole, it's gonna be okay." Paige told him.
Cole slightly nodded without opening his eyes and he turned back into Belthazor. Both of Liz and Phoebe jumped when they saw that the demon was back. Liz tighten her grip on Phoebe who patted her little girl's back.
Paige walked towards Phoebe and said before brushing her sister's hair: "Come on Pheebs, we need you on this one."
Phoebe nodded and Piper joined her sisters.
The Charmed Ones read the spell and Cole morphed back into his human form.
Paige walked towards the cage and asked: "Cole, how do you feel?"
"Kay." Cole whispered.
"Can you feel Belthazor coming back?" Paige asked.
Cole shook his head no and Paige asked: "Can you control him?"
Cole nodded and Paige asked: "Are you sure?"
Cole nodded and again and Paige quickly opened the cage and started to heal him. Leo joined her and healed him as well.
Once they finished, Cole open his eyes and whispered: "Thanks."
Paige and Leo both smiled and helped him to go out of the cage.
When Cole was up, he looked at Phoebe and immediately looked down when he saw the look on her face. He saw her tears and he saw her fears. At this very moment, he knew that the special link he shared with Phoebe and with his kids was broken and that it will take forever for them to heal the wound he had caused while not being able to control the monster who was inside of him.
Paige saw tears rolling on her brother-in-law's cheeks and told him: "You need to rest."
Cole used his powers and a bed appeared in the basement.
"Better like this." He weakly said.
Paige smiled and helped him to lay down.
"Bring the kids and Phoebe back home." He begged.
"Okay." Paige told him.
"I'll be right back." She told him.
She orbed out and when she orbed back next to him, she had three covers with her and she put all of them one Cole who was now shaking like a leaf.
"Thanks." He said with a slight smile.
Paige smiled back at him and ordered: "Now close your eyes and try to get some rest."
Cole did was he was told and closed his eyes.
The youngest Halliwell walked towards her big sisters and said: "Phoebe, you and the kids should rest, you all had a very hard day. I'll bring you back home while Piper will stay by Cole's side."
Both of the sisters nodded and Paige took Phoebe's hand and Tom's hand and she orbed them back in their living room.
"Hey babies, you are going to change into your Pj's while Mommy and I talk a little." Paige told to her nephew and her niece.
Phoebe put Liz on the floor and both of them walked in the room to get changed.
"Honey are you okay? You didn't say anything." Paige asked in a worried tone.
"I... I'm okay Paige, thanks." Phoebe said.
"Listen Phoebe, I now it's hard for you but Cole really needs you." Paige said.
Phoebe nodded and said: "I know, but, it's hard Paige, he hurt me, I know it wasn't really Cole, but..." She didn't finish her sentence and burst into tears.
Paige pulled her into her arms and said: "Shhhh, it's okay sis."
"It's going to take you some time to heal from that, to forget what happened, but you'll go through this, I know you will, you're strong Pheebs. I know you and Cole can make it." She added.
"I went through so much things already, I don't know if I'll be strong enough to go through this one." Phoebe sobbed.
"You'll do it... We will all help you, don't worry, we are all here for you." Paige said.
"Mommy! Liz and I are ready." Tom shouted from his room.
Phoebe quickly wiped away her tears and said: "Thank you so much Paige. I love you."
Paige smiled at her and said: "I love you too."
Phoebe smiled back at her sister and walked in the kids' room.
Before leaving, Paige walked in Cole and Phoebe's room and took some clothes for Cole and she orbed back in the basement.
Piper was sitting on the floor next to Cole's bed. Leo and Will were already in bed.
"How is he?" Paige asked as she put Cole's clothes on the floor next to the bed.
"He fell asleep." Piper replied.
"How's Pheebs?" Piper asked.
"Not really good." Paige truthfully replied.
"It's gonna be hard." They said in the same time.
Piper got up and said: "We need to rest as well. We won't help if we're tired."
Paige nodded and they both went upstairs in their rooms.
#~#~#~#~#~#
Meanwhile in Tom and Liz's room, Phoebe was sitting on her little girl bed who was already under the covers. Phoebe bent towards her and kissed her on the cheek.
"I love you baby." She whispered.
Liz nodded and closed her eyes. Phoebe kissed her on the forehead before getting up and walking towards her son's bed on which she sat down.
"Is Daddy okay now?" Tom asked.
"Yeah, I think so, but he is still a little tired because of what happened to him." Phoebe explained.
Tom nodded and Phoebe kissed him on the forehead and said: "I love you Tommy."
"I love you too Mommy." He replied.
Phoebe got up and walked in her room to get changed into her Pj's. Once she was in her Pj's, she walked toward her bed and sighed. She didn't feel like sleeping in this bed, not without Cole. She didn't feel really good in this room, she was scared and worried all the time, but it was even worst here.
She walked in the kids' room and laid down on Liz bed. The little girl was still awake.
"Can Mommy stay with you?" Phoebe asked.
Liz nodded and Phoebe wrapped her arms around her baby girl who fell asleep.
Phoebe stayed awake, she just couldn't sleep, she had too much things in mind.
She loved Cole with all her heart but it was just too hard to handle such an horrible thing.
Maybe things will never be the same between her and Cole.
Maybe their love wouldn't survive to this test and was it a test by the way?
Maybe she will never be able to let him touch her or kiss her.
Maybe things will never get better and they'll have to break up.
Maybe the kids will still be scared of their father.
What if he hurts her again?
What if he hurts the kids?
What if Liz never talks again?
She sighed and gave her daughter a small kiss on the forehead before closing her eyes and falling asleep.
#~#~#~#~#~#
Cole walked towards Phoebe, wrapping his arms around her from behind lovingly. He started running his hands on her belly and kissing her in the neck.
"Glad the kids are at the manor." Cole told her with a warm smile.
Phoebe nodded and turned in his arms to face him.
"Have you planned something to do?" She asked seductively.
"Actually, I've planned plenty of things." He replied in the same tone.
They both smiled and started kissing. The kiss was sweet at the beginning and then it became more and more passionate and demanding.
Phoebe moaned and broke the kiss just to say: "I love you Cole."
After that she brought her lips to Cole's who, as an answer, pulled her body against his and they continue to kiss passionately.
Cole slid his hands under Phoebe's blouse to caress her sides and her back.
Phoebe started to unbutton Cole's shirt and to caress his chest but none of them broke their intense kiss.
Cole lifted up Phoebe who wrapped her legs around his wait and carried her in their room, still not stopping to kiss her. They both laid down on the bed, Cole was on top, and he started to unbutton Phoebe's blouse.
Once Phoebe's blouse was removed, Cole started to kiss her stomach and he said: "As smooth as a baby's bottom."
Phoebe smiled and Cole kissed her passionately once again.
Suddenly, he turned into Belthazor and an athame appeared in his hand and he stabbed Phoebe in the stomach.
Cole woke up and sat up on his bed, all sweaty and out of breath. It was a nightmare, an horrible nightmare were once again he was hurting Phoebe. He tried to recover his breath and wiped away the tears which were falling down his cheeks. He looked around and remember he was in the basement at the manor. He laid back on the bed and sighed. He missed her and the kids so much, he wanted to be with them more than anything but he knew he couldn't. They needed time away from him, little Lizzie looked so scared when she looked at him and he was sure Phoebe hated him and was afraid as well.
He decided to be patient, to give her the time to heal from what Belthazor has done. He wasn't going to push her to come back to him. He was going to stay at the manor, in the basement until Phoebe tells him that he can come back home. He knew everything was his fault, that's why he didn't want to do anything to be sharp with her or to hurt her.
He sighed again.
'If things could be different.' He thought.
He has always thought that his life with Phoebe would be awesome and it was but all those horrible things they went through were breaking his heart because he knew that in a way or another, it was his fault.
He wanted to be the best father and the best husband but every time things were going wrong.
Maybe he didn't deserve to be happy because of all the things he did when he was Belthazor, now he was paying for all the crimes he has done in the past.
Maybe his life as a human was including that he would never be able to take care about the people he loved, to hurt them all time.
Maybe Phoebe's life would be happiest without him.
Maybe she was now regretting to be with him and to have children with him.
Maybe she didn't love him anymore...
What if she didn't want to see him anymore?
What if he never see Tom and Liz anymore?
What if he wasn't mean to be living anywhere else but in the Underworld?
What if his family was now rejecting him?
All those doubts filled Cole's mind. All those maybes and what if was driving him crazy. One thing was sure, he wouldn't leave if Phoebe didn't asked him to go away from her and they kids.
But what if she asks him to leave?
What will he do without them?
'I would prefer to die than to be far away from them.' He thought.
He remembered what it was like to be away from them like the time when he had to fight against the demons when Liz and Tom were just two little babies and he knew it was hurting too much. Not to be able to hold them in his arms, to kiss them, to laugh with them, to play football with Tom or to read stories to Liz, to take nap with Phoebe, to watch cartoons... It was driving him insane.
This night, he couldn't come back to sleep, he had too much things in mind, so he just waited for the day in his bed, wondering what was to come for him.
#~#~#~#~#~#
So, what did you think about it? Was it good, was it bad? What's going to happen?
Please review and feel free to say what you want about this story...
THANKS A LOT!
Want to join the update list? Give me your email in one of your reviews...