Bonjour! Ça va tres bien, et toi?
French Spasm. Anyways here I am with chapter seven and I realized after last chapter I should probably mention again I don't own Harry Potter or anything under the WB syndicate. jealousy
GINNY'S P.O.V.
We call them strong, those who can face this world alone, who seem to get by on their own, those who will never take the fall. We call them weak, who are unable to resist the slightest chance that might exist, and for that forsake it all.
Standing outside the Fire, by Garth Brooks.
Chapter Seven: Who he is
DANGER. Floo home with Draco NOW. The words brought on a blind panic, and I crashed into the hallway right as Draco did the same thing.
"We have to go." We said at the same time.
All the way down the whole bloody staircase to the ground floor, and into the fireplace we went, only slightly hindered by Tom, the nervous innkeeper. Malfoy kept crashing against me since we went into the fireplace at the same time and I would have glared at him but I didn't dare open my eyes.
WHAP. I hit the floor flat on my back, and stood up slowly, brushing soot off. There was a crash from the kitchen and I moved closer to Malfoy without even thinking about it.
"You're alive!" The short and hysterical figure of my mum dashed into the room and all but threw herself on me, sobbing into my shoulder. I glanced at Malfoy questioningly. "I was so worried! I didn't know if the warning would get there in time and I knew you'd be unprepared and I knew you'd probably wander outside anyways because you never listen to what I say and I was just-" She sobbed again, "so worried."
"Mum! You have to tell us what happened! You guys were supposed o be gone for longer than that, what happened?" I felt sorry for my mum, but I was also slightly impatient. "Mum! Calm, down we really are fine. We're home! We're fine, we're fine, we're both alright." At these words my mum wrenched out of my grasp and looked wildly around, her eyes resting on Draco.
"And YOU." For a moment it looked like she was going to rip him apart limb from limb and I wondered vaguely if this was Malfoy's fault. "You had us all so worried; this is what this was all about! This was set up by your father to get back at you and they had lured us to Fulham because we thought there was going to be an attack there but really that was just a distraction to get you alone in Diagon Alley! What if after just barely a week you'd been hurt or KILLED!" She was shaking his shoulders as if he could do anything about this. Finally she stopped and took him into one of her suffocating bear hugs.
The look on Malfoy's face was priceless, almost funny but not under the circumstances. He just stood there, arms pinned to the side and his face over her shoulder, looking shocked and sad at the same time. His eyes were big and for once I could picture him just a normal kid, not some snide and overly adultish self centered bastard. He pried one arm loose and awkwardly patted mum on the back, and caught my eye.
He smiled but I knew from experience that it was a fake smile. I'd forced smiles many times, and I'd come to know what they looked like. I smiled back.
Mum pulled away and hastily wiped her eyes. "Well, you're alright. I'm just a bit shaken. Come on, everyone should be getting here in a minute." And, sure enough, we heard a bunch of popping noises in rapid succession, signaling the arrival of the rest of the family.
Ron, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Dad, Harry, Hermione, Alana, Meg, Vi, Fred, George, and Angelina came crashing through the door, shoving and pushing and looking like a heard of rhinos.
The entire male population my close family, and Harry, engulfed me in a huge group hug and I heard little snips of sentences, mostly relief that I was alright. The girls held back, letting the family have me.
After a second the group dispersed slightly and everyone was talking at once about how worried or scared they'd been and how relived they were. I couldn't help but notice Malfoy who, after the original attack of my mother, hadn't gotten any attention about being safe.
Vi seemed to have noticed the same thing because she was watching Malfoy stare at his shoes with a look of pity. Everyone's attention was drawn when she dramatically pulled Malfoy into a hug and started to fake sob. "I was just so worried! What if something had happened to you.?!?"
Draco smiled lightly at the joke and everyone finally noticed Malfoy, after Vi drew away. Everyone converged over him and shook his hand and said they were glad his father hadn't got there. I thought this wasn't exactly the thing he wanted to hear.
Within a few minutes everyone was crashed on couches in the living room, just enjoying the peace. Finally i couldn't let them enjoy themselves anymore
"What exactly happened?" Vi glared into her hands, and Mum tensed up.
After a moments uncomfortable pause, Dad took his glasses off and cleaned them on his shirt, before starting to reply. "Dumbledore had a tip off from on of his spies that there was going to be an attack by a lot of You-Know-Who's high ranking Death Eaters in Fulham. He gathered us all there and after a while we realized no one was coming. An owl came and it had a letter signed and sealed by the Dark Mark. It said 'not the enemy, nor the mud blood, but the traitor'."
"And that's me, huh?" Malfoy said it as though he thought it was a joke but I could tell it had shaken him up.
"We're not even sure why he sent the letter, he would have gotten you if he hadn't." Dad's eyebrows were creased and he thought for another moment. "It doesn't make sense."
Malfoy shrugged. "It probably had a purpose, most weird things they do like that do."
"Why don't we all go to bed." Mum suggested. I've come to believe that's her answer for everything.
"If only I was tired. At all." I said.
"Well everyone else is, so at least be quiet in your room!" She got angry all the sudden (as she usually did after worrying and fretting) and stomped out of the room.
Slowly, one by one (or rather couple by couple), people left and went up to their rooms. After a while it was just me, Malfoy, Harry, and Vi sitting in the living room.
"Well, how'd your guys' time go?" Vi asked, looking at Draco and me in turn.
"The maybe twelve hours we were there were great. I love being left behind and not knowing what's going on." It wasn't the most polite thing to say but I knew Vi was rather sarcastic herself so she wouldn't mind.
"Well we're sorry! I know you're capable of doing what the rest of us do but you're not out of school yet and Dumbledore only wanted Order Members there. You don't even have half a year left."
"I didn't think Malfoy would let himself get left behind like that." Harry was looking furtively at Malfoy, but addressing him as though he wasn't there.
"Harry." Vi needed say no more.
"Sorry. Paranoid," Harry stood up and dug his hands into his pockets. "I think I'll to our room, Vi. You coming?"
Vi shook her head. "I think I'll talk to Ginny a bit longer. I'll be up in a couple minutes."
Harry nodded and disappeared up the stairs.
"Sorry, Harry s trouble trusting new believers. It's that damned prophesy! He thinks there's too much at stake for him to take chances." Vi was glaring at us, but not really at us. I knew the glare wasn't meant for us.
"Well I was an ass hole. Even if the war wasn't going on I don't think he'd trust me." Malfoy said.
"Well maybe things will change after a while. With bad things come good." She stood up and stretched. "Well I am actually a little tired. I only fell asleep for about two hours, and I wasn't supposed to. So if anyone asks I didn't."
"Goodnight." I said. I yawned so big I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I realized I was alone in the room with an uncomfortable looking Malfoy who was gazing at his hands.
"So. How'd you get Dumbledore to trust you?" I asked.
"I dunno. I just told him what my dad said to me and how I didn't want to be a part of it. I was surprised he believed me actually, I didn't really have that much proof." He stood up. "I think I'll go to bed. Or at least be quiet in my room."
I smiled, trying to be friendly. "I was thinking the same thing. I'm not tired at all but I might as well go up to my room and let everyone else sleep."
"Yeah." We both started up the stairs and he opened his door to his room, and I thought he was gone.
Right before I closed my door I heard the smallest voice say "Goodnight."
I listened carefully but I didn't hear a sound. You imagined that.
I stood in the doorway of my room. Sure enough, there was absolutely nothing to do. I knew I couldn't fall asleep; I'd only woken up a few hours ago. I shuffled through the books on my bookshelf and made sure I'd done all my homework. I sat on my balcony for a minute but that was boring too. What I really wanted to do was go out to the little lake at the back end of our property, but I knew it was likely that my mother would check on me several times because of how stressed she'd been that I'd be dead.
Even if I wasn't doing anything by the lake it was always fun. I also figured the sun might be coming up soon, although I was still hopelessly confused at what time it was.
I decided to just go and leave a note. We were at our house, what could happen. Plus I don't think anyone would try anything the night after their previous attempt had failed.
Mom, don't freak out I just went to the lake for a while and I figured you'd check on me. I wasn't tired and I was bored, be back soon.
I tossed the note onto my pillow and wrapped a thick burgundy cardigan around me. I was still wearing jeans and long sleeved T shirt and the night was rather warm for January.
I crept down the stairs and I had to stuff my fist in my mouth to stop from giggling. Whenever I had to be quiet I started to giggle, it was a curse. And it had gotten me caught many times. Shut up. You're going to get caught and whoever catches you will lecture you on how you shouldn't go out at night. Shut up. The giggling got worse. SHUT UP. Right when I closed the back door and was out in the night I let out a bark of laughter and immediately regretted it. I didn't move a muscle for a couple moments and when I didn't hear anything I bolted into the sprinkling of ash trees in the back yard.
That could have been bad. Now, to the lake. I walked slowly through the trees and over felled logs. Under the trees the snow wasn't very deep, not even an inch.
I sighed once I got to the edge of the lake; it was just as pretty as it always was. The edge of the lake was frozen over and the water in the middle peacefully reflected the moon above.
I didn't even hear anyone approach so I almost didn't react fast when I felt somone's hand on my shoulder. I grabbed the hand, and twisted under it so the person behind me was now in front of me with his back towards me and his arm twisted behind his back rather painfully.
I recognized the platinum blonde hair and a surge of anger ran through me. He hadn't changed! "Malfoy! What the fuck are you doing here?" I twisted him arm farther, for now ensuring that he'd talk.
"I thought someone had taken you." Malfoy's scornful sarcastic drawl had returned and that, for me, proved it.
"Don't fuck with me; I know you were trying to do something. WHAT?" I dug my fingernails into his arm.
"I wasn't! Jesus I heard someone laugh and I figured it was some of my father's friends coming back to kidnap you, to get me." He sounded impatient now, but I wasn't about to let go.
"You didn't see it was just me? I was alone for heaven's sake, how could you think I was being kidnapped?"
"Yeah well it was also dark. I didn't want to take any chances." He said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I paused, searching for something else to mask my overreaction and accuse him of. "Why didn't you just leave me alone after you realized I was fine?"
"I was going to talk to you." He sounded defeated, his shoulders hunched and his attempts to get free stopped.
I was still mad, even though I couldn't find a justifiable reason why. So I threw him on his face into the cold dirt in front of us. That felt good.
After a moment he was standing up straight in front of me trying to look dignified. It didn't exactly work with him rubbing his wrist and dirt all over his face.
Even thought I really didn't want to, I felt I owed him it. "I'm sorry."
"More cautious my ass." He muttered darkly.
"What?"
"Tom said you could learn to be more cautious. I think you're plenty so." I smiled at this and he gave me a dirty look in return.
"Well you sneak up on me after dark and put your hand on my shoulder." He tried to keep on glaring, but finally gave me a week smile.
"What were you doing out here anyways?" He gestured towards the dark, shimmering lake and the ash trees around us.
"I like this place. There was nothing else to do and I was bored, plus I couldn't fall asleep." Since when did I explain myself to people who barged in?
"Oh. It's......" he didn't finish his sentence. And I didn't really feel like saying anything else so I just sat down on the bench a few dozen feet from the water. It was charmed to deflect rain and snow and always felt slightly warm, like it has sat in the sun all day. I wasn't sure but I think it had been an anniversary gift from my dad along time ago, way before I was born.
After a few minutes Malfoy hesitantly sat down on the bench, as far away as he could be without falling off. I didn't really care that he was there, the lake was still peaceful and the snow was still beautiful and I was no longer cold because of the bench.
I smiled faintly as I thought about my friends, who I missed. I had a lot of friends that had left school last year but my close ones in my year were Ashley Quick, Shannon Coyle, Skylar Kunce, and Vanessa Schaefer. We were really close and got bored easily without each other. That's the only thing I didn't like about the two week extra vacation time, was that I didn't see my friends for another two weeks. We could make everything funny and when all the other groups of friends were fighting, we were laughing on the sidelines.
After awhile I forgot Malfoy was there, as I could barely see him from the way I was sitting. I tried to get more comfortable by swinging my legs onto the bench, and stopped when I remember Malfoy was still there. He had scooted more onto the bench, so he wasn't about ready to fall off and was much closer to me. His head was tipped, resting on the back of the bench with his eyes closed.
He looked relaxed, but I could tell he wasn't asleep. I had an urge to jump on him or grab him around the head just to get revenge but I couldn't bring myself to. Although it would have been funny. I didn't like it when people disturbed my peace.
"I'm not asleep." I blushed. Malfoy knew I was watching him, even though he'd never opened his eyes.
"I didn't think you were. I was contemplating throwing you in the lake." I told him, ignoring certain other thoughts I had been having, which were slightly less pure in nature.
"That would have been fun."
"Fun? It's freezing, it's January in case you'd forgotten."
"No, I hadn't forgotten, today is the fifteenth. Twelve days." He paused and went on. "And I meant fun because I would have pulled you in after me, therefore defeating the point of your revenge."
He didn't have to tell me what he meant by twelve days, I knew it was the time until he was supposed to become a Death Eater. "Oh. Well, then I guess I won't throw you in the lake," I paused, wondering if I should ask this, 'if you'll tell me what your father would do if he found you."
His eyes opened and for a second I thought I'd said to much and he was going to get up and walk away, but he just straightened and looked me in the eye. "Who do you think I am?" He didn't say it accusingly or like he was angry, he just sounded politely curious.
It definitely was not something I had expected him to say. "Well...." I thought for a moment. Should I say what I used to think he was or what I was starting to believe he was? My ideas about him had changed so much in so little time it was hard to think about the person he has been back in school. It was a whole other reality. "I guess I've changed my mind a lot. I thought you were stuck up and ready and willing to kill us for along time there at school. But then you ditched the dark side of your own accord and seemed just barely your old self. I don't know what to think." He seemed to realize I wasn't done and let me continue. "I've thought off and on the whole time you were here that you were good or bad, traitor to the dark side, or just a spy. I wasn't sure at all but I've never not trusted Dumbledore in my life and why stop now?"
He nodded and opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off, I wasn't done yet.
"I always thought I knew you, or least knew what you were like but every now and then you'd do something completely against all that I thought was you, even in school. I saw you one time pick up a little first year's roll of parchment and give it to her, before she left it on the floor and you even smiled at me one time when I'd yelled at Harry and then I heard you telling off Crabbe for something like being an ass hole to a little kid. I don't understand it, it's like there's you, the you that you get when you're just you normally but it's also like that normal you is just a shield, or barrier between the different you that I have to say I'm a whole lot more fond of. When you came here it was like the wall was broke down and you had nothing else to lose and the other you was showing through the old you and so I just don't know which you is you, or if there even is two yous, maybe this is all just an act." I wasn't sure if I'd lapsed into ancient Greek while rambling, Malfoy looked confused enough and I wasn't even sure this made sense, I'd never even thought about it before. "I guess I'd like to find out."
He just sat there. I suddenly realized how incredibly dumb that had sounded, it's like there's a you, but then a different you? What the fuck is my problem? After a second I noticed that I'd leaned forward while talking to him, and he'd scooted even farther onto the bench. We were as close as we could be without being on top of each other.
I could feel his breathe on my face and he had an odd look of restraining himself. If I was honest with myself I knew I was restraining myself too, restraining myself from closing the small but infinitely huge gap between our lips. Once again, he did something completely out of character and said something (or rather did something) that I didn't expect him to do.
"I'd like you to find out." He whispered, and with that he pushed himself off the bench and walked with his hands in his pockets into the trees, disappearing into the darkness.
If I had to pick a pivotally confusing moment of my life, I would have to pick this one. I'd always hear about what a Playboy Malfoy was at school and how he'd make out with (or do rather more than making out) anyone who was remotely pretty.
Why didn't he kiss me then? Was I really that ugly? Or did he honestly just hate me? No, if he hated me I don't think he would have said that last sentence. What did that last sentence mean? I sat there in confusion, contemplating what Malfoy had said and thinking about what I had said and what he could have meant.
I sat there for a long time, knowing and wishing what had almost happened had. I kept on telling myself it was stupid, even if he was changed a bit, he was still Malfoy. Then I thought about what that meant to me. When I thought about Malfoy I thought about evil and Death Eater's and the Dark Lord. I thought about hate and prejudice and how little things made so much difference among humans. When I thought of Draco though, I thought of what he'd done lately. Being nice (mostly) to everyone and trying to stem off fights that Harry tried to start.
I guess names didn't really mean that much. By being a Weasley I was related to having red hair and a lot of freckles and sibling, but that doesn't mean you know me. I'd thought so many times about how Malfoy was so prejudice, but what about all the times I had been prejudice? I guess by thinking Malfoy, no, Draco, was prejudice against everything was being prejudice myself.
A reddish glow on the horizon appeared and I stood up. Dawn was coming.
I wandered back to the house, feeling slightly embarrassed and hoping I wouldn't run into Draco. I fell on my bed fully clothed, my thoughts still chasing each other around my head.
Who was Malfoy? He was Draco, the one that had suffered his father for years, until he finally got up the courage to do what he thought was right. He was the child who had had his family ripped apart by the same monster as so many people had, yet no one felt sorry for him. He was someone who knew that most people hated him just for what his father had been, and when the time came, he chose to be the hero and not take the easy way out. I had thought Draco had learned a lot by coming to our side, but now I think I learned the most by him coming.
Wow. That was one big orgy of corniness! Lol oh well, I'll try not to do it again.
Anyone like it? Anyone with suggestions? If your going to flame me just go and shove it up your ass, you shouldn't have read this far if you didn't like it.
The song at the beginning of the chapter kind of fit but it kind of didn't..... it made sense to me.
I LEAVE FOR AUSSIE IN EIGHT DAYS!!!!!!!! 7-6-04, so I leave the fourteenth
WHY THE MO ISNT FAN FICTON LETTING ME ADD MY CHAPTER!!??!?!?!?!? IT SAYS CONNECTION TIME IS TO GREAT OR SOMETHING. Stupid piece of shit. It might take a while to get this chappie up. Yup I just checked the sight and they said it was in a read only mode until they can find a correction, because something corrupted the main database. argh.
French Spasm. Anyways here I am with chapter seven and I realized after last chapter I should probably mention again I don't own Harry Potter or anything under the WB syndicate. jealousy
GINNY'S P.O.V.
We call them strong, those who can face this world alone, who seem to get by on their own, those who will never take the fall. We call them weak, who are unable to resist the slightest chance that might exist, and for that forsake it all.
Standing outside the Fire, by Garth Brooks.
Chapter Seven: Who he is
DANGER. Floo home with Draco NOW. The words brought on a blind panic, and I crashed into the hallway right as Draco did the same thing.
"We have to go." We said at the same time.
All the way down the whole bloody staircase to the ground floor, and into the fireplace we went, only slightly hindered by Tom, the nervous innkeeper. Malfoy kept crashing against me since we went into the fireplace at the same time and I would have glared at him but I didn't dare open my eyes.
WHAP. I hit the floor flat on my back, and stood up slowly, brushing soot off. There was a crash from the kitchen and I moved closer to Malfoy without even thinking about it.
"You're alive!" The short and hysterical figure of my mum dashed into the room and all but threw herself on me, sobbing into my shoulder. I glanced at Malfoy questioningly. "I was so worried! I didn't know if the warning would get there in time and I knew you'd be unprepared and I knew you'd probably wander outside anyways because you never listen to what I say and I was just-" She sobbed again, "so worried."
"Mum! You have to tell us what happened! You guys were supposed o be gone for longer than that, what happened?" I felt sorry for my mum, but I was also slightly impatient. "Mum! Calm, down we really are fine. We're home! We're fine, we're fine, we're both alright." At these words my mum wrenched out of my grasp and looked wildly around, her eyes resting on Draco.
"And YOU." For a moment it looked like she was going to rip him apart limb from limb and I wondered vaguely if this was Malfoy's fault. "You had us all so worried; this is what this was all about! This was set up by your father to get back at you and they had lured us to Fulham because we thought there was going to be an attack there but really that was just a distraction to get you alone in Diagon Alley! What if after just barely a week you'd been hurt or KILLED!" She was shaking his shoulders as if he could do anything about this. Finally she stopped and took him into one of her suffocating bear hugs.
The look on Malfoy's face was priceless, almost funny but not under the circumstances. He just stood there, arms pinned to the side and his face over her shoulder, looking shocked and sad at the same time. His eyes were big and for once I could picture him just a normal kid, not some snide and overly adultish self centered bastard. He pried one arm loose and awkwardly patted mum on the back, and caught my eye.
He smiled but I knew from experience that it was a fake smile. I'd forced smiles many times, and I'd come to know what they looked like. I smiled back.
Mum pulled away and hastily wiped her eyes. "Well, you're alright. I'm just a bit shaken. Come on, everyone should be getting here in a minute." And, sure enough, we heard a bunch of popping noises in rapid succession, signaling the arrival of the rest of the family.
Ron, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Dad, Harry, Hermione, Alana, Meg, Vi, Fred, George, and Angelina came crashing through the door, shoving and pushing and looking like a heard of rhinos.
The entire male population my close family, and Harry, engulfed me in a huge group hug and I heard little snips of sentences, mostly relief that I was alright. The girls held back, letting the family have me.
After a second the group dispersed slightly and everyone was talking at once about how worried or scared they'd been and how relived they were. I couldn't help but notice Malfoy who, after the original attack of my mother, hadn't gotten any attention about being safe.
Vi seemed to have noticed the same thing because she was watching Malfoy stare at his shoes with a look of pity. Everyone's attention was drawn when she dramatically pulled Malfoy into a hug and started to fake sob. "I was just so worried! What if something had happened to you.?!?"
Draco smiled lightly at the joke and everyone finally noticed Malfoy, after Vi drew away. Everyone converged over him and shook his hand and said they were glad his father hadn't got there. I thought this wasn't exactly the thing he wanted to hear.
Within a few minutes everyone was crashed on couches in the living room, just enjoying the peace. Finally i couldn't let them enjoy themselves anymore
"What exactly happened?" Vi glared into her hands, and Mum tensed up.
After a moments uncomfortable pause, Dad took his glasses off and cleaned them on his shirt, before starting to reply. "Dumbledore had a tip off from on of his spies that there was going to be an attack by a lot of You-Know-Who's high ranking Death Eaters in Fulham. He gathered us all there and after a while we realized no one was coming. An owl came and it had a letter signed and sealed by the Dark Mark. It said 'not the enemy, nor the mud blood, but the traitor'."
"And that's me, huh?" Malfoy said it as though he thought it was a joke but I could tell it had shaken him up.
"We're not even sure why he sent the letter, he would have gotten you if he hadn't." Dad's eyebrows were creased and he thought for another moment. "It doesn't make sense."
Malfoy shrugged. "It probably had a purpose, most weird things they do like that do."
"Why don't we all go to bed." Mum suggested. I've come to believe that's her answer for everything.
"If only I was tired. At all." I said.
"Well everyone else is, so at least be quiet in your room!" She got angry all the sudden (as she usually did after worrying and fretting) and stomped out of the room.
Slowly, one by one (or rather couple by couple), people left and went up to their rooms. After a while it was just me, Malfoy, Harry, and Vi sitting in the living room.
"Well, how'd your guys' time go?" Vi asked, looking at Draco and me in turn.
"The maybe twelve hours we were there were great. I love being left behind and not knowing what's going on." It wasn't the most polite thing to say but I knew Vi was rather sarcastic herself so she wouldn't mind.
"Well we're sorry! I know you're capable of doing what the rest of us do but you're not out of school yet and Dumbledore only wanted Order Members there. You don't even have half a year left."
"I didn't think Malfoy would let himself get left behind like that." Harry was looking furtively at Malfoy, but addressing him as though he wasn't there.
"Harry." Vi needed say no more.
"Sorry. Paranoid," Harry stood up and dug his hands into his pockets. "I think I'll to our room, Vi. You coming?"
Vi shook her head. "I think I'll talk to Ginny a bit longer. I'll be up in a couple minutes."
Harry nodded and disappeared up the stairs.
"Sorry, Harry s trouble trusting new believers. It's that damned prophesy! He thinks there's too much at stake for him to take chances." Vi was glaring at us, but not really at us. I knew the glare wasn't meant for us.
"Well I was an ass hole. Even if the war wasn't going on I don't think he'd trust me." Malfoy said.
"Well maybe things will change after a while. With bad things come good." She stood up and stretched. "Well I am actually a little tired. I only fell asleep for about two hours, and I wasn't supposed to. So if anyone asks I didn't."
"Goodnight." I said. I yawned so big I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I realized I was alone in the room with an uncomfortable looking Malfoy who was gazing at his hands.
"So. How'd you get Dumbledore to trust you?" I asked.
"I dunno. I just told him what my dad said to me and how I didn't want to be a part of it. I was surprised he believed me actually, I didn't really have that much proof." He stood up. "I think I'll go to bed. Or at least be quiet in my room."
I smiled, trying to be friendly. "I was thinking the same thing. I'm not tired at all but I might as well go up to my room and let everyone else sleep."
"Yeah." We both started up the stairs and he opened his door to his room, and I thought he was gone.
Right before I closed my door I heard the smallest voice say "Goodnight."
I listened carefully but I didn't hear a sound. You imagined that.
I stood in the doorway of my room. Sure enough, there was absolutely nothing to do. I knew I couldn't fall asleep; I'd only woken up a few hours ago. I shuffled through the books on my bookshelf and made sure I'd done all my homework. I sat on my balcony for a minute but that was boring too. What I really wanted to do was go out to the little lake at the back end of our property, but I knew it was likely that my mother would check on me several times because of how stressed she'd been that I'd be dead.
Even if I wasn't doing anything by the lake it was always fun. I also figured the sun might be coming up soon, although I was still hopelessly confused at what time it was.
I decided to just go and leave a note. We were at our house, what could happen. Plus I don't think anyone would try anything the night after their previous attempt had failed.
Mom, don't freak out I just went to the lake for a while and I figured you'd check on me. I wasn't tired and I was bored, be back soon.
I tossed the note onto my pillow and wrapped a thick burgundy cardigan around me. I was still wearing jeans and long sleeved T shirt and the night was rather warm for January.
I crept down the stairs and I had to stuff my fist in my mouth to stop from giggling. Whenever I had to be quiet I started to giggle, it was a curse. And it had gotten me caught many times. Shut up. You're going to get caught and whoever catches you will lecture you on how you shouldn't go out at night. Shut up. The giggling got worse. SHUT UP. Right when I closed the back door and was out in the night I let out a bark of laughter and immediately regretted it. I didn't move a muscle for a couple moments and when I didn't hear anything I bolted into the sprinkling of ash trees in the back yard.
That could have been bad. Now, to the lake. I walked slowly through the trees and over felled logs. Under the trees the snow wasn't very deep, not even an inch.
I sighed once I got to the edge of the lake; it was just as pretty as it always was. The edge of the lake was frozen over and the water in the middle peacefully reflected the moon above.
I didn't even hear anyone approach so I almost didn't react fast when I felt somone's hand on my shoulder. I grabbed the hand, and twisted under it so the person behind me was now in front of me with his back towards me and his arm twisted behind his back rather painfully.
I recognized the platinum blonde hair and a surge of anger ran through me. He hadn't changed! "Malfoy! What the fuck are you doing here?" I twisted him arm farther, for now ensuring that he'd talk.
"I thought someone had taken you." Malfoy's scornful sarcastic drawl had returned and that, for me, proved it.
"Don't fuck with me; I know you were trying to do something. WHAT?" I dug my fingernails into his arm.
"I wasn't! Jesus I heard someone laugh and I figured it was some of my father's friends coming back to kidnap you, to get me." He sounded impatient now, but I wasn't about to let go.
"You didn't see it was just me? I was alone for heaven's sake, how could you think I was being kidnapped?"
"Yeah well it was also dark. I didn't want to take any chances." He said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I paused, searching for something else to mask my overreaction and accuse him of. "Why didn't you just leave me alone after you realized I was fine?"
"I was going to talk to you." He sounded defeated, his shoulders hunched and his attempts to get free stopped.
I was still mad, even though I couldn't find a justifiable reason why. So I threw him on his face into the cold dirt in front of us. That felt good.
After a moment he was standing up straight in front of me trying to look dignified. It didn't exactly work with him rubbing his wrist and dirt all over his face.
Even thought I really didn't want to, I felt I owed him it. "I'm sorry."
"More cautious my ass." He muttered darkly.
"What?"
"Tom said you could learn to be more cautious. I think you're plenty so." I smiled at this and he gave me a dirty look in return.
"Well you sneak up on me after dark and put your hand on my shoulder." He tried to keep on glaring, but finally gave me a week smile.
"What were you doing out here anyways?" He gestured towards the dark, shimmering lake and the ash trees around us.
"I like this place. There was nothing else to do and I was bored, plus I couldn't fall asleep." Since when did I explain myself to people who barged in?
"Oh. It's......" he didn't finish his sentence. And I didn't really feel like saying anything else so I just sat down on the bench a few dozen feet from the water. It was charmed to deflect rain and snow and always felt slightly warm, like it has sat in the sun all day. I wasn't sure but I think it had been an anniversary gift from my dad along time ago, way before I was born.
After a few minutes Malfoy hesitantly sat down on the bench, as far away as he could be without falling off. I didn't really care that he was there, the lake was still peaceful and the snow was still beautiful and I was no longer cold because of the bench.
I smiled faintly as I thought about my friends, who I missed. I had a lot of friends that had left school last year but my close ones in my year were Ashley Quick, Shannon Coyle, Skylar Kunce, and Vanessa Schaefer. We were really close and got bored easily without each other. That's the only thing I didn't like about the two week extra vacation time, was that I didn't see my friends for another two weeks. We could make everything funny and when all the other groups of friends were fighting, we were laughing on the sidelines.
After awhile I forgot Malfoy was there, as I could barely see him from the way I was sitting. I tried to get more comfortable by swinging my legs onto the bench, and stopped when I remember Malfoy was still there. He had scooted more onto the bench, so he wasn't about ready to fall off and was much closer to me. His head was tipped, resting on the back of the bench with his eyes closed.
He looked relaxed, but I could tell he wasn't asleep. I had an urge to jump on him or grab him around the head just to get revenge but I couldn't bring myself to. Although it would have been funny. I didn't like it when people disturbed my peace.
"I'm not asleep." I blushed. Malfoy knew I was watching him, even though he'd never opened his eyes.
"I didn't think you were. I was contemplating throwing you in the lake." I told him, ignoring certain other thoughts I had been having, which were slightly less pure in nature.
"That would have been fun."
"Fun? It's freezing, it's January in case you'd forgotten."
"No, I hadn't forgotten, today is the fifteenth. Twelve days." He paused and went on. "And I meant fun because I would have pulled you in after me, therefore defeating the point of your revenge."
He didn't have to tell me what he meant by twelve days, I knew it was the time until he was supposed to become a Death Eater. "Oh. Well, then I guess I won't throw you in the lake," I paused, wondering if I should ask this, 'if you'll tell me what your father would do if he found you."
His eyes opened and for a second I thought I'd said to much and he was going to get up and walk away, but he just straightened and looked me in the eye. "Who do you think I am?" He didn't say it accusingly or like he was angry, he just sounded politely curious.
It definitely was not something I had expected him to say. "Well...." I thought for a moment. Should I say what I used to think he was or what I was starting to believe he was? My ideas about him had changed so much in so little time it was hard to think about the person he has been back in school. It was a whole other reality. "I guess I've changed my mind a lot. I thought you were stuck up and ready and willing to kill us for along time there at school. But then you ditched the dark side of your own accord and seemed just barely your old self. I don't know what to think." He seemed to realize I wasn't done and let me continue. "I've thought off and on the whole time you were here that you were good or bad, traitor to the dark side, or just a spy. I wasn't sure at all but I've never not trusted Dumbledore in my life and why stop now?"
He nodded and opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off, I wasn't done yet.
"I always thought I knew you, or least knew what you were like but every now and then you'd do something completely against all that I thought was you, even in school. I saw you one time pick up a little first year's roll of parchment and give it to her, before she left it on the floor and you even smiled at me one time when I'd yelled at Harry and then I heard you telling off Crabbe for something like being an ass hole to a little kid. I don't understand it, it's like there's you, the you that you get when you're just you normally but it's also like that normal you is just a shield, or barrier between the different you that I have to say I'm a whole lot more fond of. When you came here it was like the wall was broke down and you had nothing else to lose and the other you was showing through the old you and so I just don't know which you is you, or if there even is two yous, maybe this is all just an act." I wasn't sure if I'd lapsed into ancient Greek while rambling, Malfoy looked confused enough and I wasn't even sure this made sense, I'd never even thought about it before. "I guess I'd like to find out."
He just sat there. I suddenly realized how incredibly dumb that had sounded, it's like there's a you, but then a different you? What the fuck is my problem? After a second I noticed that I'd leaned forward while talking to him, and he'd scooted even farther onto the bench. We were as close as we could be without being on top of each other.
I could feel his breathe on my face and he had an odd look of restraining himself. If I was honest with myself I knew I was restraining myself too, restraining myself from closing the small but infinitely huge gap between our lips. Once again, he did something completely out of character and said something (or rather did something) that I didn't expect him to do.
"I'd like you to find out." He whispered, and with that he pushed himself off the bench and walked with his hands in his pockets into the trees, disappearing into the darkness.
If I had to pick a pivotally confusing moment of my life, I would have to pick this one. I'd always hear about what a Playboy Malfoy was at school and how he'd make out with (or do rather more than making out) anyone who was remotely pretty.
Why didn't he kiss me then? Was I really that ugly? Or did he honestly just hate me? No, if he hated me I don't think he would have said that last sentence. What did that last sentence mean? I sat there in confusion, contemplating what Malfoy had said and thinking about what I had said and what he could have meant.
I sat there for a long time, knowing and wishing what had almost happened had. I kept on telling myself it was stupid, even if he was changed a bit, he was still Malfoy. Then I thought about what that meant to me. When I thought about Malfoy I thought about evil and Death Eater's and the Dark Lord. I thought about hate and prejudice and how little things made so much difference among humans. When I thought of Draco though, I thought of what he'd done lately. Being nice (mostly) to everyone and trying to stem off fights that Harry tried to start.
I guess names didn't really mean that much. By being a Weasley I was related to having red hair and a lot of freckles and sibling, but that doesn't mean you know me. I'd thought so many times about how Malfoy was so prejudice, but what about all the times I had been prejudice? I guess by thinking Malfoy, no, Draco, was prejudice against everything was being prejudice myself.
A reddish glow on the horizon appeared and I stood up. Dawn was coming.
I wandered back to the house, feeling slightly embarrassed and hoping I wouldn't run into Draco. I fell on my bed fully clothed, my thoughts still chasing each other around my head.
Who was Malfoy? He was Draco, the one that had suffered his father for years, until he finally got up the courage to do what he thought was right. He was the child who had had his family ripped apart by the same monster as so many people had, yet no one felt sorry for him. He was someone who knew that most people hated him just for what his father had been, and when the time came, he chose to be the hero and not take the easy way out. I had thought Draco had learned a lot by coming to our side, but now I think I learned the most by him coming.
Wow. That was one big orgy of corniness! Lol oh well, I'll try not to do it again.
Anyone like it? Anyone with suggestions? If your going to flame me just go and shove it up your ass, you shouldn't have read this far if you didn't like it.
The song at the beginning of the chapter kind of fit but it kind of didn't..... it made sense to me.
I LEAVE FOR AUSSIE IN EIGHT DAYS!!!!!!!! 7-6-04, so I leave the fourteenth
WHY THE MO ISNT FAN FICTON LETTING ME ADD MY CHAPTER!!??!?!?!?!? IT SAYS CONNECTION TIME IS TO GREAT OR SOMETHING. Stupid piece of shit. It might take a while to get this chappie up. Yup I just checked the sight and they said it was in a read only mode until they can find a correction, because something corrupted the main database. argh.