A DADDY'S DEATHWISH

by Female Hitokiri Battousai

EDITED::What does a house full of toddlers and fathers tell you? Trouble? You bet yuh! What happens when the girls go out and leave the daddies in charge, to house of insane monkey toddlers who want nothing more than to have fun their way…::one shot::

A Daddy's Death-wish!

Fhb...

Disclaimer: Watsuki Nubuiro and Sony Comics Inc. holds full right to Rurouni Kenshin and Rurouni Kenshin characters

Syn: What does a house full of toddlers and fathers tell you? Trouble? You bet yuh! What happens when the girls go out and leave the daddies in charge, to house of insane monkey toddlers who want nothing more than to have fun their way…

Dedicated to Shiro Tanuki: Thanks for being my best friend and chibi-sis. Thanks a lot for everything I appreciate it a lot. You take care and enjoy the fic okay mi-girl? You down with that I hope!!

---

Ever heard the nagging from toddlers? Isn't it frustrating? I mean…how do you deal with a bunch of toddlers who have the worse manners, flickering tempers, selfish egos and wild personas? Imagine, dealing with a bunch of little children who cause the most trouble. Imagine the picture of small devils with cute little forks dancing around a tired up you. Yup that's truly a picture for Kodak moments. Well that's the picture our favourite daddies forgot to envision…but don't worry the toddlers will give them a memory…a memory to never forget…

Kaoru sweetly smiled and slowly shut the door. Taking her hand off her husband's mouth, he mouthed "and good afternoon to you too" he started with slick sardonic mock in his voice. "You are perhaps the worse father I have ever seen" she spoke matter-of-flatly…

"Really, well then I guess I make up for being a great husband…" he paused seeing her laughing scandalously. "Kenshin—you crack me up sometimes" she chuckled…

"Really…well then" he lifted her up in bridal style spinning her around just a bit. She protested but he aware her that the children were sleeping. She bit her lips in worry and both parents made their way to their room. Kicking the door open, he shut the door and then made his way to the bed. Dumping his wife on the bed she smirked.

"What?" he inquired becoming frighten she was going to ask him for some extravagant favor…

"You're not like having ideas about me being a Easter bunny or a Santa right?" he asked most uncertainly…

"No—no, why would you think that?" she arched a brow placing a single slender finger under her chin.

"Because it's usually in this same room you concoct your evil ideas" he drafted out. She snarled.

"Thanks a lot for the compliment koishii" she sarcastically addressed.

"Baby…I didn't mean it like that" he hopped on the bed with her. She snorted and turned her face from him.

"Oh come on sweetie, don't do me this…" he spoke tiredly.

"Humph" she huffed.

"Kaoru" he rubbed her back. But she remained in check and focus showing him who was in control of the situation…

"Kaoru…" he called but another time, his hands holding hers as he tugged on the wedding ring…

--

--

Just a few rooms from theirs, was a baby pink room with soft shades of pink and light flickers of white and margarine here and there. The pink-carpeted floor and Barbie accessories told you right off the bat, it was a little girl's room. And indeed it was. A small little girl about 2 in age with large pink eyes and a big pink teddy looked around at the hall. She couldn't sleep so she was making a run for it to go sleep with her parents. Running quickly through the hall she thought she heard things calling at her hence, the shadows the branches of the trees encouraged her to race the dark floors. Barging through her parents' door, she blocked her eyes on the site and began crying.

Kenshin and Kaoru removed themselves from the awkward 'staring-into-their-eyes' position they had been. Kaoru slid off the bed making her way to her small daughter.

"Sweet heart what's the matter?" she asked worriedly…

"Mommy, Kitty no sleep and –and kitty see ghost-tez (ghosts)…" she said cutely. Kenshin smirk, his daughter was really adorable regardless if she took for him one hundred percent in physical attributes at least. Kaoru clutched the small red head girl to her reassuring her everything was going to be a-okay.

"Even Mr. Teddies was scareded (scared) mommy…can he get a kissie too? To feel betters?" she asked most adorably.

Kaoru smiled, "sure he can…" and with that she kissed the teddy.

"Thank you mommy, he feels much betters and so does Kitty-chan" she glowed…

"Well mommy's happy to hear that…" she removed a few red tendrils from the small girls face.

"Mommy…" began the little girl with huge pink eyes

"Yes sweetheart?" Kaoru retorted…

"Can I sleep with you and daddy? Pwease?" she begged pouting her lip very cutely.

"Hmm I dunno" Kenshin intercepted…

"Please daddy" Kirakeiko ran to him…

He lifted the small bundle in his arms and he somewhat thought loudly, making many hmm's and mm's. "Kaoru?" he called…

"It's okay with me…" she exclaimed seeing the little girl smile even brighter. She now looked up at her father who shook his head in agreement.

"Yeahhh! Thank you daddy, thankie thankie" she hugged him tightly.

"Your welcome sport!" he let her go and with that she began jumping on the bed…

"Wee---wee" she jumped on the bed loving how high she went.

"Kitty-chan…sweetheart, don't jump on the bed" Kaoru chided…

"Why nots mommy? It's funs" she kept at it going higher and higher…

"Kenshin…tell her something…" Kaoru sputtered…

"Kirakeiko…careful you fall" he suggested…

Kaoru growled. 'What an ape of a husband'

Retiring out the room she went down the hall to collect the small girl's pillows. She opened the door and before she could make a proper step in the room, she fell plump on the floor. 'Oh Kami…Kirakeiko has too much toys…oh man, look at this room—it's filthy…with clothes and toys…'

Taking the "pink" pillows she tiptoed out the room making sure not to mash anything. Sighing lightly she closed the door and made her way to her room. Opening the room she saw the little girl was already tucked in and off into a sweet sleep.

"Aww…she's asleep" Kaoru lovingly whispered.

"Yup…she's out clean…" he dryly remarked…

"I can see that…"

"So…Kaoru?" he hinted. She looked at him whilst placing the pink pillow under the small girl's head.

"Yes?"

"The guys and I were thinking…" he started, his voice somewhat very unworthy and untrusting but she listened on nevertheless.

"Thinking?" she questioned him with a slender arch of her brow…

"We were discussing—and –and we thought it over. We think you girls need a break from all the hassles and extremities," he alleged…

"Uh-huh…I'm liking this" she sauntered…

"And…we thought maybe this Saturday you and the girls should go out, have a girls day out. And um…we'll take care of the kids…" he tittered…

"Wow really?" she sounded surprise…

"Yeah…"

"Kenshin do you think I'm stupid? I know you guys are up to something. You men just don't catch a vibe and do something unless it means worth dying for…" she admitted…

"Oh come on Kaoru, we're doing you a girls a favour, why can't you see we're doing it in good faith…?" he inquired…

"Because anything we do leave you guys to, something "always" goes wrong. You expect me to leave you home with a bunch of toddlers? Pu-lez, you must think I was born yesterday. Good night Kenshin…" she kissed him and took off the lights…

Kenshin sat in the dark, "is that a yes?"

"No…it means it's a no"

'Damn'

---

Friday

The next morning Kenshin awoke to what seem to be something wet and gooey on him.

It was funny what he thought, while under the contrary he had a huge surprise to get. Fluttering open his eyes he saw his small daughter dribbling on him. 'Oh kami-sama…' Kenshin wished he hadn't opened his eyes. The little child, small as she was, he noted the innocence even as she slept; she drew closer to the warmth of his neck exhaling soft hmm's in a tuneful manner, to the side of her, her mother nestled softly in the warmth of her sheets. Kenshin smirked at the two most important ladies in his life. Getting up slowly, he tried to avoid making any vigorous or loud noises whilst getting out of bed. He made sure Kirakeiko was still sleeping and with that he made his way to his bathroom. Brushing up spick-and-span he retired below to have himself some breakfast. Collecting himself a bold and the carton of milk from the refrigerator he took the corn-flakes 'Chump-puffs' to be precise and had himself some chow.

Taking a first bite of the cereal, he spit it back out, 'Oh my gosh, who eats this?' Watching the pink colour of his milk he assumed the obvious. 'Kirakeiko and pink fantasies'

Skipping his breakfast he ran back up the stairs and began getting ready for work. Himura Kenshin was a one of the top board members of Battousai Inc. though he was somewhat the owner he shared the title with his non-biological father. But Kenshin still had to get to work for seven. He usually returned around 3, but with recent competition from the Mokoto. Inc Kenshin found himself in crowded rooms brimmed with cups of latté and strong coffee. Fixing his hair in a high pony he placed on his shades whilst getting his briefcase. Making his way around the bed, he sat on the bed where he raised the hair that covered Kaoru's cheek. Kissing her cheek she smiled even in her sleep. With that he got up and left.

When Kenshin arrived at his office he met Sano, one of his best friends. Though the men were astray for the first two years which implied:- not caring who the next was, it was somewhere in the middle of the third year they became friends thanks to their wives, ever since then they became the best of buds, the most evil of the batch. But regardless that, it didn't stop them from having a wale of time…

"Aye wassup Himura…I didn't see you enter…" Sano started whilst getting himself a cup of coffee, "coffee?"

"Sure…"

"So what did Kaoru say about Saturday? Did she fall for the bait?" he asked curiously, his face in his cup while he followed Kenshin to his master office. The huge room was somewhat contemporary and very modern. The silver and black décor increased the wealth of the lean upholstered chairs and the stain finishes in the room. Even crown molding said that this room certainly didn't come cheap.

"Nah…she didn't buy it. She asked me if I was dumb hence it brought her to the closing statement, if we can't take care of ourselves how come could we take care of a bunch of toddlers. I mean what's so hard in kids? My son and daughter aren't trouble…women…they think too hard…" he complained while taking a sip of the hot coffee.

"Yeah true, Megumi told me the same thing. It's like these women read the same book, 'how to tell your husbands who's in charge—kick his butt if he messes with you'. Man it's crazy really, me and Megumi have been living for what? Six years and yet she still doesn't give me everything I want, but that's cool, but the point is man, the woman is like a damn hussy, she's always bossing me around and I'm stinking fedup of it…we need to take action man or somebody is gonna get hurt…" he bluntly spoke with a proud chin hanging out…

Kenshin raised a brow, "oh…and what are you going to do, hit your wife?" he inquired uncertainly, a bit shock Sano would ever propose to do such a thing…

"Heck no…why? Coz she'd be doing the honors. Look Battousai if it's one person I'm afraid of more than you…more than ice-face Aoshi, it's my wife. I'm terrified…seriously"

Kenshin chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Sano questioned, "I don't see it funny, if I'm not wrong, I'd say you are too…" he smoothly answered…

"Me? Afraid of my wife? HA!! That's an understatement! You gotta to be joking my friend, you have to show woman whose boss, if you don't then you're gonna get your butt whooped. In my house I do the talking, Kaoru does the listening, that's exactly how I like my woman…" he paused seeing Sano taking notes, "and that my friend is how you gotta be around that Herculean-Megumi, you gotta fight fire with fire, don't let her show you whose boss, show her whose boss, you're a man, and you don't tolerate nonsense, whilst they on the other hand have to tolerate us and our needs, ain't I correct?" he entreated…

"You know what you're right! I'm gonna show Megumi whose the boss…" Sano stood tall while speaking courageously…

"Yeah now that's what I'm talking about… you tell her…in her face." He argued…

"Yeah, I'll tell her exactly how I feel…I'll tell her straight up" he barked like the ghetto…

"Yeah and when she wants something, whatcha gonna say?" rattled Battousai

"Phessh! Girl get your fat butt up and get it yourself, why chick, coz I'm a man, you spell that M—A-N—manpower…" he roared…

"That's right Sano…whose the man?" he cliché

"I'm the man"

(Sano phone rings)

"Excuse me Kenshin…" and with that he took the call, 'it's Megumi' he lisped…

Kenshin smiled knowing Sano had all the courage he needed.

"You want me to do what? Girl, I'm not doing that---I'm a man…I have rights too you know…so you do it…take time off like I do" he argued

(Megumi argues on phone)

"Uh-huh...girl…you better watch who you talking to or I'll whoop that butt of yours…" he objected…

(Megumi talking)

Sano's face turned white. "Yes maim, what time should I pick up your clothes from the drier?"

(Megumi talking)

Kenshin face-faults.

"Uh-huh…do you want them ironed and steamed too dearest, I'd love to do it, anything for you my buttercup…really? Okay great…bye"

Sano ends the call on his cell and looked at Kenshin. "MEN ARE SLAVESSSS!! DOGS REALLY" he stormed out Kenshin's office cursing…

'Can't blame the guy for trying…'

---

Kaoru and Megumi drove to the mall.

"Hey Megumi, did Sano tell you something about baby-sitting the kids on Saturday?" asked Kaoru who drove her posh Jaguar X-j around the block.

"You know what, he did…what do you think those rotten men are up too?" she asked whilst putting on some lipstick in the car.

"I don't know. But whatever it is, I know I'm not gonna like it…" Kaoru thoughtfully spoke…

"Men! They think we're complete idiots, like hello we go through everything not them…it sucks really…" she shut her lipstick and pressed her lips…

"Yeh…so where did Misao say she was meeting us?"

"Well it is her mall…so um…just finding her will be a damn dilemma" Megumi notified watching the huge mall. It's title "Misao's World." It was somewhat a bratty and selfish title. But knowing the sorta of life Misao indulged herself in, unconsciously that is, they had to come to terms, Misao was accustomed to the fame, spotlight and egotistical glow. Yet under it all she was a sweet young and ambitious mother. She was the youngest woman to have a mall up at the age 16. An achievement for her.

"I think I'll call her" Megumi spoke whistling at the size of the mall.

"Yeah, good idea" Kaoru thought whilst she got herself a park. Megumi spoke to Misao for five minutes hearing the dry-run of where she'd be. Kaoru parked the car and both ladies exited. Going through the automatic doors they walked to the escalator and then proceeded to the food court. In the Italian section Misao sat. Megumi pointed out. "I think I see her…ohh---but Kaoru-chan look at the cute guy…hey gorgeous" Megumi waved at the man…

Kaoru pulled Megumi away, "Megumi…does Sano know you still flirt with men?" inquired curiously the sapphire eye woman…

"Not really. But just between you and me, lets keep that out lil secret, okay tanuki…?"

"You know I'm not gonna keep that secret if you keep calling me that…"

"Keep calling you what?" Megumi asked like she didn't know…

"You'll know when I tell Sano our lil secret" Kaoru winked and walked passed her…

'Stupid tanuki'

They joined Misao who was watching her watch bitterly.

"I thought you girls forgot me…" Misao retorted…

"Misao, we only called you five minutes ago…"

"I happen to be a very prompt woman…surprise surprise!" she sauntered…

"So we've noticed. So what are we ordering, I'm starved" Kaoru thought…

"Pregnant again?" Misao asked raising a brow…

Kaoru blushed.

"She so totally is…" Megumi jumped in…

"Oh come on you guys…" "You guys, please just drop it…"

"Alright alright! But that's cute Kaoru, that you're preggy. So what you gonna name your little chibi?" blabbered Misao…

"I don't know. I haven't even told my husband I'm pregnant—for me to go deciding names is sorta odd…" she suggested quirking a her brows in finely knitted lines.

"I guess it would be. But lets just talk amongst us girls. Have you decided a name for say, if he's a boy. I mean you must have had a name you wanted for your son…or daughter…so…tell us" Megumi remarked leaning over to hear…

"Well…let's just say if he's a boy, I want his name to be something European sounding. And if she's a girl, something French or Italian sounding…" she reported…

"You're right Kao-chan, you do need your husband's help to name your kids…coz technically speaking, you do a bad job" Megumi rattled…

Kaoru blinked back, "what did you just say?" Kaoru fumed…

"Good-afternoon ladies, what will it be?" asked a tall young man in a somewhat butler outfit. He was holding a notebook and preparing to take orders…

"The usual for me Chinlee…" Misao proposed…

"Yes maim, and for you two lovely ladies…?" asked the young men…

"Um…can I have you?" asked Megumi with an evil grin on her face. The boy blushed.

'The fox never changes…' Misao thought. Kaoru mentally slapped herself.

"Megumi he meant to eat…he's not a snack…" Misao blurted out…

"You know weasel I'd tell you something, but I'll keep my cool. I'll have order 5 good-looking…" she winked at the boy.

Kaoru rolled her eyes, "I'll have order 7, no mustard please…" she handed him her menu…

"Sure, and drinks…?"

"We'll all have some vodka…" Misao requested…

"Oh no Misao, I can't drink…remember (she fumbles with her fingers)…the baby…"

"Oh yeah…she'll have a fruit-punch" Misao ordered.

"Okay thank you. Your meal will be served in the next five minutes…" he walked away…

"Such a hott guy" Megumi growled like a kitten…

"Megumi get real, he's a teenage boy, he doesn't want anything to do with you" emphasized Kaoru

"Kaoru, do you see me? Well girlfriends I'll have you both know, with this hott face and sexified look, I'm everything anybody could want…" she proposed…

"Odd really, it's a wonder how you didn't get Battousai, he's suppose to be the hottest man there is yet. I won't lie, Aoshi is hott, but come on…Himura is a caramel to chew and swallow to your hearts content" Misao deciphered.

Kaoru giggled.

"Well excuse me…" Megumi rolled her eyes.

"You know what guys, lets change the topic. We've been talking too much of those rotten men"

"Rotten?" Misao repeated…

"Well yeah, their looks and their behavior…hasn't Aoshi told you he wanted to babysit on Saturday with the boys?" Kaoru inquired…

"Um, yeh, he did. How did you know that?"

"They're up to something Misao. All of them. Why in gods would they want to baby-sit all of a sudden, and on Saturday? Oh come on, no man likes to be cooped up in house with little toddlers…"

"Hello girls…" came a sweet sounding voice…

"Tokio-san…konnichiwa" the girls greeted, on the side of her was Yumi Mokoto with her three year old daughter…

"Yumi-san…konnichiwa" Kaoru extended her greetings…

"Konnichiwa Mrs. Himura…so how's the business with your husband?" she drawled…

"I'm presuming alright. And who is this pretty little missy?" Kaoru saw a sweet little girl at her side with burgundy hair and extremely brown eyes.

"Oh! This is my daughter, Giselle, say hi to auntie Kaoru Giselle"

The little girl hid behind her mother, "hello…" came her small voice…

"Why don't you girls joined us…?" asked Megumi…

"Good coz we're starved…" everyone laughed…

After a few minutes of settling down they began talking about the men.

"So what were you gals talking about?" asked Tokio…

"Nothing really. We were just talking about how the boys are trying to babysit this Saturday…"

"For some strange reason Saito asked me that same question…"

"Yeah, Shishio asked me that too" both ladies spoke…

"They're really planning something…but what?"

"You know…they're really rotten doing such a thing, whatever the thing be…"

"Yeah…what's up with these weirdo men?" so many questions, yet nobody was figuring it out.

"Kaoru-chan you've been quiet for a while…" Tokio spoke…

"Because I think I know what they're up too" she spoke minutely

"What?" was everyone's response. She opened her bag and searched for her PDA. Going through the calendar and then the TV. Guide she didn't find it weird or even unmistakable what the occasion was.

"This is why" she showed the girls the event, "Football with hot chicks??"

"Those rotten men…" they all fumed…

"Your meals ladies…" the waiter placed the meals down for Misao, Megumi and Kaoru.

"Thank you…" the women bluntly answered…

"Tip?" he began..

"Take a hike bucko" Megumi argued

"We've got to get revenge" Misao ministered angrily…

"Yes we do…but how?" whispered Yumi…

"There is one way…" proposed Tokio…

"Girlfriend, start spilling…" Misao rattled…

"Very well---it goes like this…"

---

That afternoon when the boys got home to their individual wives and children, the ladies did some talking…

"Oh Kenshin-itoshii"

"Yes angel?"

---

"Oh Sano-sweetheart"

"Yes babes?"

---

"Oh Aoshi-darling…"

"Hmm babe?"

---

"Oh Saito-kun"

"What?"

---

"Oh my Shishio"

"Yeah?"

---

"Remember you told me about baby-sitting the kids on Saturday?" Kaoru began…

"Yes…"

"Well I've been thinking, I do need a break, and yeah Saturday is a pretty good day for you guys to baby-sit…so who exactly are you going to baby-sit?" she spoke neatly…

"Um, Sano's kids, Aoshi's kids and Saito's kids…"

"Oh, well um Shishio called and said he'd be baby-sitting Saturday with you guys"

"Pheesh…he could go burn himself again. I don't want that bandage boy in my house…" Kenshin snarled in conclusion…

"I already agreed to allow him in. So I'm presuming you guys are going to babysit some 11 kids for the entire Saturday?" she interrogated…

"Yes we are. All we really do want is for you girls to enjoy your Saturday and to know…we care…" he declared in a trustful manner.

"Aww…that's so sweet Kenshin" she kissed him momentarily and then pulled apart.

"Well enjoy Saturday. Don't say I didn't warn you guys…"

Kaoru waved at her husband whilst proceeding upstairs.

Kenshin timed her. Making sure he heard the door shut he text the message across his phone that it was on. Saturday here we come!!

---

Kaoru, Megumi, Misao, Yumi and Tokio looked at the now sitting toddlers and fathers. Eleven children with some five fathers wasn't much of a practical bargain for any mother. Yet it was seemingly the idea to leave the men alone with the toddlers to teach them a thing or two about --one, marriage and two, responsibility. If they did "survive" the ordeal, they'd be asking for nice nursing homes, which already had reservations for five persons. Kaoru was the dominant woman at the time mainly because it was her house everyone practically lounged off in. Her daughter who apparently was the youngest in the talkative toddlers, held her mommy's hand, her pretty large pink eyes already in tears from her mother's departure.

"Okay guys, here's the layout. These are children you're going to be looking after. Very hyper-active and in some causes bi-polar children. Do not play aggressive or they will be aggressive with you guys. As fathers I expect you all to set good examples for each and every one of the children. They are small, sensitive and very much alert to what you do and say. I want no watching of obscene shows. I want no one to draw on the walls, I want no one to jump on my furniture and oh, fathers, I want my house back in one stable piece. If anything mad and deranged occurs, gentlemen I swear I will make all of you divide the responsibility and consequences equally. You've been told your rules, please obey." Kaoru spoke to everyone. The men and children nodded.

'Men are like big kids, stupid really' thought Misao in her head.

Kaoru stooped before her daughter watching the sniffing child. "Mommy, Kitty-chan no wants to stays with daddy and his friends, Kitty loves you, Kitty wants to go with yous. Pwease no leave kitty…pwease…pwease" she cried that Kaoru's heart was actually breaking to see her youngest child suffer this much.

"Awww…little tanuki wants her mommy wommy stay, how pathetic. Lozer" Megumi's brown head burgundy eye daughter quoted, making a large "L" with her hand.

Kaoru saw Megumi and her daughter's genes were definitely in the same boat. Kirakeiko whose small face was covered in her mother's arms, slowly pulled apart.

"What, did you just call me?" asked Kirakeiko Warning---warning, Battousai's genes

"I called you a tanuki—whats the matter you deaf all of a sudden?" she curled her brown locks that fell beautifully in her face.

Kirakeiko's eyes went into deep and angered amber; it was the first time her eyes hued to such a shade. She began walking away from her mother, standing perfectly still in front Megumi's daughter, Sakura, she executed a perfect side trust kick in the older girls face. "KIYAHHHH" she screamed out her ki outburst.

Sakura went across the room, Kirakeiko ran to her but Kenshin ran after his daughter holding her back from attacking the bigger girl. "No daddy she called me a tanuki—Kitty no like that name, kitty no like her…let me kick her in her big head" she screamed out squirming and twisting in his grasp.

Sano picked up his daughter, rubbing her head. "Wow…baby cat fight, growl-power" he joked.

No body laughed. "It was suppose to be a joke. Oh forget it" he waved off.

Kaoru took Kirakeiko from Kenshin. Placing the small girl to the floor she looked at the small girl in her eyes. "Kirakeiko, mommy loves you. And mommy doesn't want to hurt you, but I swear if you be mommy's big girl, mommy probably will buy you something special, you never know" she winked at her daughter whose pink eyes perked with a fond electrical interest.

"Really, you'd buy me the snake I wanted in the pet shop?" she asked innocently. Kaoru shuddered remembering what had happened the day they went into the pet shop. Kirakeiko actually fell in love with cold bloodied-creepy crawlers, snakes---reptiles and anything disgustingly scary.

"That one we'd have to talk about, besides don't you want a dolly or something?" she asked…

"Yes mom, but when I try to comb their hair I break their heads off---and sometimes I use them as my kendo partners…" she bit her lips innocently. Kaoru blinked back. 'That's why all her doll heads are in the dojo…weird really'

"Well okay, I promise if you monitor daddy and the boys I'll buy you a chocolate…"

"The double-caramel-chocolate-fudge-nutty mix?" she licked her lips at the thought…

"Uh-huh that same chocolate" Kaoru felt like her stomach was coming on with a gripe. 'This baby wants food—I need food'

"Okay, it's a deal…" she shook her mothers hand. By now everyone was looking on at the two.

"Well you guys be good now…" Misao pulled Kaoru away so the mother wouldn't have another long-chit-chat with her daughter.

"Uh-huh" the men waved a little too authentically at their wives.

"Oh Misao wait, I have to do something" Kaoru pulled out the woman's grasp.

"Well hurry up already" Misao practically screamed.

Kaoru ran up to Kenji and kissed his cheek, "you be good sweetheart---I love you…". Going to Kenshin, she made way to head for Misao, but he held her back. The look in his eyes was really sinning. Slipping her hands around his neck and she kissed him.

"Ewwww…kissing" the little children groused out.

They departed.

The girls said their farewells warning the men specifically that sugar was not be to be shown as a trade for the children's good behavior and off they were on their way to the mall.

Kenshin and the other men looked at the children. Eyes of the innocent met the eyes of the mature and rated.

"Okay guys…lets get started" Sano clapped his hands and with that they started their first routine on the list, TV shows.

Aoshi was in charge of this part, Kenshin was in charge of food, Sano in charge of changing, Shishio in charge of play time and Saito in charge of sleep-time.

With everything set and running according to plan, the boys thought they could carry out their sneaky little plan. A plan that no one knew was for the better or the worse.

"Okay kids, which film do you guys want to see, Barney 1, Barney 2, Barney 3 and oh look Barney 4?" Aoshi asked the children seeing them bored.

"That's bull man. Lets see some other shows" Sanosuke's oldest son who was the oldest out of the children, a five year old spoke. His name was Anthony.

"What did you just say?" Aoshi couldn't believe he just said that.

"Um—nothing?" Anthony said innocently…

"I thought so. Well we have, Lion king, Jungle boy 2, Sesame street, the Wiggles, the Tellytubbies, Spawn opps mistake there" the children jumped up when they heard the film Spawn. The boys jumped up on the couch their shoes imprinting on the silky pillows. Aoshi bit his nails, 'oh kami…'.

"Guys..stop" Aoshi was usually a very calm and focus man, but this wasn't exactly what he called weekend quality time with children…

"Uncle Aoshi, Kitty wants to see Jungle boy two.." she sat next to Misao's daughter, Millei.

"Um…lets see"

"I want to see Sesame street" whined Jinnger…

"Oh shut up girl, I want to see Lion King" rapped Sakura.

"Why don't you shut your mouth, you keep bossing everyone around. Whose mommy you think you ares?" asked Jinnger

"YEHH" Kirakeiko and Mellei got up supporting for Jinnger.

"Why don't you three just shut up and fedex it to somebody who cares" Sakura rolled her eyes and gave the hand.

"You stupid little" she was cut off when Sakura pushed her hand in Jinnger's face, "talk to the hand you got no man"

Kirakeiko, Mellei and Jinnger gaped. "I'm really gonna beat her up, whose coming to help me?" asked Jinnger who jumped off the chair.

Aoshi was having the worse time of his life, apparently with the amount of votes he got, he had pulled out all the Dvds from their cases. Yet unseen were the young boys who sat on one couch watching the girls… 'girls are very violent'

Aoshi who was looking to pack back all the dvds accidentally let one roll to a small's girl foot. Giselle, Sakura's best friend. Picking up the cd she couldn't make out what it said. Looking in the distance she saw the boys looking at her, she blushed. They immediately turned away from looking at her. She giggled. Throwing the cd over to Kenji, he caught it snap in his hand.

Throwing her back, a small game of Frisbee occurred whilst Sakura got beaten up for her stupid comments. Pillows were flung across the room landing all around the room.

"Okay---so Barney one goes into the Barney one case. Spawn case —(Aoshi feels around for the last dvd), where's the Spawn dvd?" he looked around his area. Looking up he saw what made him swallow. 'Oh my lord—help us.' There before his very eyes were the children playing with the dvd. When it fell they'd literally fight to have it back, scratching the cd with their nails and the floor. What made situations worse was the sight of Sakura being whacked, and pillows being flung across the room from point A to point B, which usually smashed things.

"Please stop?" Aoshi thought he lost his voice. His heart perhaps.

They weren't listening.

"Kids please stop" he spoke firmer. Nobody listened.

"Come on kids…please stop" he broke up the fight with Sakura and the trio.

But they only returned to whacking her when he turned his back.

"I SAID TO GODDAMN STOP IT" Aoshi shouted.

Everyone froze. Crickets could be heard. Everyone stopped what he or she was doing and sat quietly on their chair.

It was the first time Aoshi ever shouted at the children, but really they were driving him up a wall.

The loud shout traveled in the kitchen where the boys were fixing the kids a snack. All five men ran out in pretty pink aprons with matching head-bands on their head.

"What's the matter?" asked the fathers worriedly.

"OH MY GODD" Kenshin shouted out in disbelief at his drawing room.

"Where?" the children asked looking around for God

"He's not under the pillow that's for sure" spoke Chris (sano son) who looked under the pillow on the couch.

"My house. N-no my drawing room. My pillows---my wife—aghh, my death. Look kids I don't know whose fault it was to dirty the place and make it such a pig-style but I want to know how did it or else somebody's going to have him or herself a little time out in the kiddie's corner" Yup audience they planned all that.

Everyone pointed at Aoshi. The man simply laughed like if he had gone crazy from the children. Dropping the spawn case Kenshin's eyes bulged open.

"Oh gosh Aoshi man, what's wrong with you? The kids can't see that movie, its Pg. 13. They're not even 6 and you want them to see something which is a nine years difference to them? Get real!!" Kenshin quarreled. Aoshi tried to but in but the red head was frantic of all that just occurred to his drawing room.

"I tried…" was Aoshi's only comment

"Not hard enough man" Sano rapped

"Yehh" the men backed him up.

"Well if you gentlemen are so goddamn perfect…" he walked up to them, the children watching as the men becoming aggressive, "why don't you all do it" Aoshi shoved the Spawn case in Kenshin's chest.

"You know what icy-boy I will…just watch" he took the dvd and went to the front room.

"Okay kids, tell me what movie you all like and I'll play it" he paused,

"SPAWN" came a shout from them.

"Except Spawn…" Kenshin wagered out

"Aww. I wanna see Wiggles" one said

"I want to see Lion King" spoke another

Kirakeiko ran off her chair and went to her daddy, raising her hands so he could collect her she said lovingly to him, "Kitty wants to see Barney. Daddy loves Kitty mostest right?" she said cutely. She had the same eyes as her mother, the same workaholic determine eyes. Those eyes that were determined to do anything, and yes sometimes they unconsciously did evil. He watched her as she asked to see Barney. She knew she could try her tricks because firstly, that was her father, and two she'd use her mother's line "you love me the most." Mother and daughter simply had the devil's genes.

"Koishii…daddy is going to make a vote"

"What kinna votes?" she asked cutely…

"Um, a kinna vote where everybody chooses their film…so you go sit by Mellei and daddy will show you all how to participate" he reckoned.

"Okay daddy" she ran back to her seat.

"Okay you guys listened up." Kenshin started, the children partially listened.

"Don't listen to me and uncle Battousai is going to let out 'VICIOUS'…" he threatened

"V-vicos?" Kirakeiko repeated.

"Vicious sweetheart. It's a very bad dog that lives under the house, and if anyone of you give too much trouble to me or anyone of the boys I'll make Vicious eat you up" the little girls screamed and gasped out in fright. The boys snarled. "That's so bogus uncle Battousai" the boys snarled.

"Don't believe me?" he asked and with that he gave Sano the eye-signal to bark like a bad dog.

"RUFF---RUFF---RUFF---RRRRRR---GRR---RUFF" the man somewhat hid behind the men performing his doggie actions. The children screamed.

"Now now calm down. The only way Vicious does attack is if I ask it too. Vicious listens to nobody but me. So you guys better behave or you guys are going to get a solid snap. Now, who wants to see Barney?" asked Kenshin.

A few hands went up. He counted. Only three people were up to see that show.

"Whose up for Lion-king?" two hands went up

"For Sesame street?" one hand went up

"For the Wiggles" two hands went up

"For Jungle book 2?" four hands went up.

"For Tellytubbies?" it was the last call, six hands went up.

"Okay seeing from all the votes, we will go with Tellytubbies" and with that he placed the dvd in the dvd player and the show began.

"Now you kids be good and watch the show, got that kids?" asked Kenshin

"Yes uncle Battousai"

"Yes daddy" Kirakeiko chirped cutely..

"Good" and with that the five fathers did the stupidest thing alive that they could ever do. They left toddlers alone and unsupervised.

After twenty-five minutes of watching the show the boys were really becoming bored. Kenji banged his head with a pillow, whilst Anthony turned upside-down watching the TV. Chris was on the floor carefully watching the show with Kirakeiko, Mellei and Jinnger. Giselle was sleeping and Sakura was watching her nails. It was such a boring film that the boys just couldn't handle it.

"DADDDDD" Kenji shouted out…

Kenshin ran out the kitchen and immediately came to toddlers who looked bored beyond all reason except for a certain four. The youngest in the group. They were literally standing in front the TV and dancing.

"Come on boys and girls sing it with me, we got eyes to see, a nose to smell, ears to hear a tongue to taste and fingers to???" the alienated yellow thing asked.

"TOUCHHH" the four children screamed

Kenshin hated these programs. It was very torture-some when he spent the first couple years with Kenji teaching him all these things. Kirakeiko played with him but she preferred her mother. A prejudice or genetic favoritism thing he didn't know about.

"Yes Kenji-chan?" Kenshin asked his son trying to block off all the screaming Kirakeiko and her group was doing.

"This show is boring, I want something to eat" he grumbled about his stomach.

"It's not boring Kenni-chan, its udicational (educational) and if you no likes you could split like a pea in a podes (pod)" Kirakeiko aware him rolling her eyes in disgust.

"Who asked you dork-face?" he started the name-calling.

"Nobody butt-face" she flamed

Kenshin couldn't believe he was hearing this. "Hey hey, stop this you two. I don't want any fighting from you guys. Got that?" he asked in a reprimanding tone.

"Yes sir" they bowed their heads in shame.

"Good, now we'll have to wait on the others before you guys can eat, for the while just try to relax and enjoy the program" Kenshin went back into the kitchen calling the guys to come and watch the very "primitive" program.

Sano made a turn back into the kitchen when he saw what was showing. Saito pulled him back out, "oh come on, cut me some slack. Do you know how many years I went through with those ugly yellow, purple—and green stupid things. That show is the dumbest educational program I have ever seen. What kid is that thick?" he asked seeing the four children.

The fathers gave him a cold-threatening stare. "Apparently ours" was his only minute whisper.

"Okay people grab a seat and monitor the little ones" Kenshin instructed.

The boys sat down close to the children whilst Kenshin pulled the girls away from the TV.

"Not so close to the TV girls" he sat down on the chair with the three adorable toddlers lining around him.

"Small or big they like you huh Himura?" asked Shishio watching as the little girls leaned against him.

Kenshin looked at the girls, "what can I say, I'm a very attractive guy"

They only nodded. An hour went and the educational program was really starting to make the kids have an early head start on a nap. Sano who was pretty much a grown man with the heart of a child fell asleep with the boys. Saito, Aoshi, Shishio and Kenshin were having a nerve-racking problem. They were literally forcing their bodies to take in the very torturing educational program. They trembled lightly from the tense and overrated work of the stupid aliens. Kenshin slowly began falling asleep feeling a bit out of reality. Suddenly before he knew it, his little daughter screamed out "All finishes" she was always so high-pitch and cheerful. He loved her but she really needed to show her enthusiasm in softer ways. The men perked up after hearing the little girls scream out that the horrendous show was over. Kenshin took off his Tv.

"Oh daddy- that was funs. Can kitty-chan see it again..? Pwease—pwetty pwease?" she implored her large pink eyes large with innocence and her evil mother-genes. Although Kirakeiko was mini-Kaoru with his red hair, he had to admit she truly was her mother. It was something Kenshin fell in love with, her innocence for one but something else and with all Kirakeiko's nagging he found the right word, their determination. Kaoru was truly determined. Regardless who stood in her way she'd walked past them objecting them with any line she could use from primary school pouts, fake-tears from her son and high-school pick up lines. She was also a very naughty woman that for some reason had the funniest idea she could get whatever she wanted. And perhaps Kirakeiko managed to get those sassy little evil genes. Such a thing was already becoming conscious to see in his daughter, who she was unlikely to see or understand. He didn't let it worry him though, she was just a baby still, and nothing bad could happen---right?

"Kitty---sweetie" Kenshin started. She pouted and gave the triumph-card, the puppy-face. It was now Kenshin knew it truly was Kaoru to blame for their daughters over-sweet-imploring.

"Pwease daddy, I really loves you daddy, you're my bestest daddy in the whole widest widest worlds" she hugged him…

"Awwww" Sano went soft seeing how adorable she looked and sounded.

The boys shot him a hard, cold stare. Waving off to Kenshin to say no at her, Kenshin found it extremely hard to actually say no, just two letters, which he found extremely ---difficult to utter. Do you see why Kaoru gets away with everything she wants?

"Noo" whispered loudly Shishio, he for one could not stand three hours watching that shit. Who the heck invented that crap anyways?

Kirakeiko turned around only to see her uncles scratching their heads and sweat-dropping. She thought to herself 'my uncles are weird'

"Um…kitty how about you go along with the rest of the children and go have something to eat?" he asked.

She perked up when she heard food. For the children who were somewhat asleep-and-awake snapped to reality and immediately everyone ran to the kitchen. Kenshin stayed back however. He had unfinished business. Taking out the Tellytubbies dvd he realized his dvd player was smelling as if it was burnt inside. 'Really—and this crap causes a lot of money.' Placing the dvd in the case he looked around curiously and with that, threw it in Kaoru's plant. 'Opps---now its lost, oh well. Kirakeiko has to know what I did was only for her best, I do it because I care for her—a lot too' he sighed and made his way to the kitchen.

There across the huge kitchen was a long table with small chairs on either side. Equally shared.

Girls sat on one side and boys on the other. Jinnger, Kirakeiko and Mellei sat together speaking of unknown things but from the way Jinnger and Kirakeiko laughed Kenshin sensed it was something very funny. Giselle and Sakura sat together talking over the table with the boys. Whilst brothers Anthony and Chris were hungry as ever for food. Kenshin sat down on a chair close to the food vanity. Saito was surprisingly stirring the easiest meal alive. Macaroni and cheese.

"Needs some salt" he spoke throwing in a dash of salt.

Sanosuke poured drinks whilst Shishio handed each one of the children a napkin. Kenshin picked up some paper plates and forks. Handing them each one, he got a thank-you from all the girls, on the boys side he hardly got a thanks, the only was from Chris. 'Tough crowd'

"Okay you little mice come get your hot macaroni and cheese" shouted Saito.

Immediately chaos occurred. Everybody wanted food the same time. Anthony and Chris were first in line, battling the pushing from behind. Kirakeiko pushed up to the front of the line. Sakura screamed out when she felt someone push her backward, it was Kirakeiko pushing in the line. Pulling the smallest girl's hair, Kirakeiko whipped around and saw Sakura tugging on her hair. She pulled her hair, but then Sakura pinched Kirakeiko causing the little girl to go in an outburst of tears. Everyone stopped. Kirakeiko usually cried the worst because she was the smallest. She bawled, her face turning a brilliant pink. Her eyes were screwed shut yet tears fell down. Immediately Kenshin went to his daughter's side…

"Oh Kirakeiko what happened angel?" he lifted her up, the small child crying loudly…

"Sa—wha—wehhhhhh, (sobs) Sa—(sniffs)kura pulled my hair and---(sniff—sniff) pinched me" She paused showing her father the red pinch on her arm.

Sano walked away from behind the food vanity and called Sakura. "Sakura come here right this instant" Sano sounded very angry.

Sakura swallowed the lump. "Busted" Mellei whispered as Sakura past her.

She walked to her father standing a safe distance from him.

"I said to come here" he shouted again. After hearing him assert her so harshly her eyes welled in tears. She came up to him. "What gave you right to pull Kirakeiko's hair and pinch as an addition?" he asked strictly…

"K-kirakeiko…s-she, was pushing in—the line" she cried.

"Is that true Kitty-chan?" asked Kenshin who was rocking her back and forth.

She nodded cutely. "Yes daddy" she looked down ashamed at her actions.

"But does that give you right Sakura to hurt her?" Sano asked empowering-like

"N-no daddy, Sakura-chan is sorry…" she cried so sorrowfully that Kirakeiko actually was feeling something 'I feel nothing for you. HAHAHA!!'

"I don't want to hear that, tell Kirakeiko sorry." He turned her around so she was facing Kirakeiko.

"Ki-r-ra-ke-iko, I'm sorry. D-Do you forgive me?" she sharply cried.

"Yes…I forgive you coz Kitty-chan pushed in the line. Kitty is sowwie…" she smiled.

"Good now you girls go to the back of the line and wait" Kenshin instructed

"WHAT?" they looked up at him.

"Go" he firmly spoke

"Yes sir"

"So are we frens Sakara-chan?" asked Kirakeiko nicely

Sakura wiped her tears, "little tanuki haven't you learned anything from a professional acting? No—I guess not. Once you're a tanuki you're always a lozer" she made a "L" with her hand.

"You are such a barf-face"

"What-everrrr" she rolled her eyes and did it like those really pompous teenage girls.

'God, I really don't want to kill anyone but help me when I'm around this flat-butt-face'

Everyone eventually was given their share, drinks were served and a healthy desert of fruits was placed out on the table. Kenshin watched over the schedule they were running on. They were taking way too long just for them to get the kids at their other activities. The children laughed and made a pretty bad mess all over the floor and themselves. Chris choked and began coughing. Everyone panicked.

It was torture dealing with a choking toddler. Kenshin rubbed his back whilst Sano feed his son some bread for the food to slowly make its way down.

"Is it just me or is he turning blue?" asked Aoshi looking at the small's boy face.

"Oh God ice-man he is turning blue" Sano freaked, "Okay Chris stick your finger up your throat and barf" all the children backup from the table…

"He's gonna blow, make a run for it" Mellei screamed and all the children ran around the kitchen, some ran outside, others made their way to other places of the huge house. By now the kitchen was empty…

"You guys, would you please stop standing like idiots and go get the kids" Kenshin reckoned…

"Right" and with that they ran around the house looking for the small kiddies.

---

"Girls do you think what we're doing is the right thing?" asked Kaoru softly.

They had walking around the mall for over four hours. "Kaoru-chan I can't believe you'd ask us that" Misao rattled rolling her eyes

"Yes tanuki. Oh come on you saw what those rotten-good-for-nothings are doing. They're watching some fleshy chicks play football on T.V" Megumi shot hotly back

"Yes Kaoru-chan. Those men of ours deserve some hardcore lessons and I'm afraid they're really going to get a good dose of medicine. A medicine these fathers can't say no to, but have to agree, else, it's war" Tokio spoke flatly.

"Yeh, Kaoru-chan think of it as that vacation you don't get in August. Have some fun Kao-chan…relax" Yumi spoke…

"I can't. I'm a pediatrician and a mother. What's there to relax about? Besides its been bothering me, what if we have this whole thing wrong, what if they're really trying to do something nice for us?" she asked thoughtfully. The girls went silent. It was then Megumi came out and said, "HA!? Those men do something nice for us, that's an understatement" the girls laughed, but Kaoru didn't. Yet everyone thought, what if?! Oh kami, they'd have some explaining to do themselves.

"Look-----free food" Misao shouted out

"No need to advertise it to the whole world lil weasel" Megumi flatly added

"Whatever! Come on Kao-chan" she pulled the bigger girl and the group followed.

---

"I CAN'T STAND IT ANYLONGER" Sano shouted. He had been caught in the prisoners hold. The toddlers officially tied him up.

"Hello Uncle Sano" he saw Mellei coming out of her hiding place with a white scarf in her hair, then Jinnger and Kirakeiko approached with what seem to be miniature medical kits.

Sano scoot around seeing the girls approaching with evil stares, he prayed they wouldn't hurt him---not too bad at least.

Meanwhile…

"Kid you better come down or I swear I'm gonna give you a solid whooping" Saito snarled at the little boy who was no other than Chris. He was playing Tarzan on the curtains.

"Then I'll make my mom kick your butt wolf, and she's not afraid of you, so suck my fart" he turned around and farted.

Saito took a whiff and fainted in rk style.

Kenshin on the other hand was trying to get into the guestroom where Kevin, Joshu (Saito's sons) and Ryuo were watching some movies. Did I mention it was a lot of violence

"I'm gonna kill you—bang bang!" the man said on the film.

"GUYS OPEN UP" Kenshin pounded on the door.

"I'm gonna make you die slowly" the man shouted

Kenshin's eyes shot open. 'Sano needs to stop bringing his films at my house or my wife is going to think I watch that'

Kenshin sighed when they didn't listen. Taking a couple steps backward, he did what seem to be the only idea to hit his head. Knock the door down. Running into the door, he hit the door with his shoulder. "Ouch" he slid down the door in pain.

Aoshi however was having himself a little catch, Giselle and Sakura were putting on Kaoru's makeup. Every mother's worst fear.

"Girls what are you all trying to do, get me killed from Kaoru-san?" he asked. The girls turned around. Aoshi backed up with fright on his face 'they look absolutely horrid, why don't they apply for roles in the upcoming Exorcist'

"No." they came closer.

"You know what, enjoy yourselves" he shut the door scared like hell by the way they looked

Downstairs in the toilet was Shishio who was cracking some serious egg (lol).

"Heheheh" he heard laughter.

"Whose there?" he asked pausing for a response. "Kenshin, Sano, Saito, Aoshi who is it, its not funny you guys." He rallied out

"Throw it in" came a voice.

There on the door was a small opening for toilet paper to enter. What happen was the whole opposite, throwing some cockroaches, bugs and other creepy crawlers into the man's pants the man looked at the bugs and could only (SCREAMMM)

The children ran from the toilet laughing their little hearts out.

(Outside)

"Oh looksie, Uncle Sano no feel goods. Kitty make you feels much betters" she ended it with a sweet smile.

"Open your mouth uncle" Kirakeiko asked kindly.

He nodded no. "I said to open your mouth" audience remember she feels she can get anything she wants.

He nodded no another time. "You can't or you won't?" he saw her amber eyes flaming. 'Oh Kami—she's got Battousai genes…'

"I'll ask you one more time man, open your mouths" she dropped the uncle thing coz she personally thought it wasn't working.

He shook his head afraid she would hurt him. "FINE! You asked for it, don't say I didn't warn you. Mellei-chan" Kirakeiko said sweetly her words dripping a honey.

The young girl nodded and proceeded about her business. Standing between Sano's legs she sighed, "this might hurt, but oh well don't say we didn't warn yah"

And with that she kicked him straight up his 411-live.

Sano bawled out in pain. Kirakeiko smiled to herself, "and that is what we call progress ladies" and with that she placed the wooden stick on his tongue. "He seems fines to me" she looked inside his mouth whilst he screamed his heart out.

"Uncle Sano please be quiet this is a hostipal (hospital)." Kirakeiko pointed her finger in a chiding way.

He gritted his teeth 'the little runt'

"Okay, now to check your heartbeats" she placed her pink and yellow plastic stethoscope over his heart, "uncle Sano…" she gasped…

He growled. "You no lives?"

The little girls gasped. "No fears girlies, Kitty-chan makes uncle Sano live. My mommy is a doctor—she learned Kitty to be doctors" Kitty said informingly

'Jou-chan your goddamn child is going to kill me. Help me kami'

"Screw driver" Kirakeiko voiced.

'What??' Sano thought he was going to faint.

"Screw driver kitty-chan" Jinnger handed her the plastic pliers (they don't know names yet).

"Okay---so how does Kitty-chan open your chest?" she wondered biting her lips like her mommy.

Sano's eyes were wide open. "Ahh—I remembered. I saw mommy do this, she placed the pliers over his nipple and squeeze down.

"KENSHINNNNNNNNNNNN COMEEEE FOR YOOURRR CHILD" Sano shouted.

Inside torture was still occurring. . If God had trouble with Adam and Eve who didn't even listen when he said not to eat from the forbidden tree… what made these fathers think toddlers would be any easier?!

Kenshin battled the door, his shoulder sore and burning. He pulled at the shirt, seeing that he had bruised his skin. His eyes slightly blazed. Children would not rule him, he would rule them. Kicking the door with more force and more Battousai-nerve he found the trio sitting on the floor looking at a blue screen. 'Blue-chip—thank God for V-chip activation'

"We swear we didn't see anything" they all admitted.

They could hear what was going on but they couldn't see it, modern technology ruled sometimes.

"You three have some serious explaining to do when your mothers come home" he pointed out.

"Aww! Please no Mr. Himura...we didn't know what we were doing." They justified.

"Save it for someone who cares. Drawing-room now" his voice was intoned, cold and silver as the threatening voice he unconsciously raised at his rivals.

The boys ran into the drawing room, not waiting for him to meet up with them. Kenshin heard screaming from outside. Passing through the drawing room he saw two adults chasing a bunch of little children. Kenshin sighed this was more than they bargained for, and the girls, oh gosh, they were so evil, they knew they'd suffer horribly, but they just played slick. 'Women are so cruel God, beautiful yes, but mine—she's so wicked' he thought to himself. As he approached the kitchen French-doors, he heard the screaming more intense. Alarmed at such a scream, he ran out the kitchen. Making his way to the scene, he couldn't believe what was happening.

"Kirakeiko" he called in his disbelief. She was squeezing Sano's nipple with a pliers. The look on her little face said she was trying hard to finish her assignment. Her face was red with determination and stress.

She backed off wiping her brow, "I can't open his chests daddy...can you help me?" she asked cutely.

"Kirakeiko, Jinnger and Mellei get inside this instant" he ordered and the three little girls made their way in. Kenshin untied Sano who was left hurt and ego-somewhat broken from the three evil musketeers. "Kenshin, your daughter" Sano started whilst getting up.

"She is one aggressive little thing. Where does she get that I-want-everything attitude?"

"Her mother…" he paused, "I think its kind of dumb, but what happened?" asked Kenshin

"She and her little girlfriends played doctor, guess who was the patient?" he cried when he felt the pain in his chest.

"Oh God, she has a strong hand for a two year old, are you sure she's two?" Sano asked

"As hard as it is to believe, you have to admit she was only try to help"

"Yeh, help kill me"

Kenshin laughed. Both men returned. When they arrived many of the little ones were talking amongst themselves. Kirakeiko was sitting next to Sakura and actually talking. For once!

"Okay, I want to know, who placed bugs in my pants?" Shishio asked with a smug expression on his face.

All the children pointed to one another. "It's not me idiot" "No me" "Uh-huh" "It isn't me" "I was outside" their complaints really made Kenshin's bad-side surface and he only surfaced for bad relations with his business affiliates. Though his amber eyes were the devil permanently, it didn't seem to scare people immediately. It only made them shudder. He whistled to shut everyone up. "Listen up" his voice was cold and curt.

Everyone perked up. "This bad behavior will not be tolerated. If I am to see this again you all will be reprimanded severely" he dubbed coldly.

A shaky hand went into the air. "What's—repri-man?" asked Joshu.

"It means to be whooped, beaten---punished" he gave an evil smirk sending the little children shivering.

"Now everyone find a place on the floor, its time for a nap"

Saito and Shishio moved the table placing out a huge futon on the floor. The girls ran over the futon obstructing the guys from fixing the futon squarely. Instead they went for a little ride on the moving futon. The girls took one side and the boys took the other. Kenshin brought down a blanket. Spreading it over the kids he no sooner left for the kitchen.

Shishio yawned, even he was tired. Sano watched the children adoring how totally cute they were.

"Uncle Saito" came Kirakeiko's voice.

"What is it you peon?" he answered curtly

"Don't call her that dog-face" Sano rapped. Anybody find its odd why he's picking up for her? Well me too and I'm the authoress.

"What is it Battousai's child?" he asked

"Can you read me a stowie. My mommy always reads me a stowie…pwease, for Kitty-chan" she used the same line again.

"No way kid"

She looked back at him, her pink eyes watering, "you really done it now Saito-boy" Sano taunted.

(WEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) she cried. Her cries traveled in the kitchen where Kenshin had been trying to escape all the noise and pressure. Shakily he came out.

"Who made my angel cry this time?" asked Kenshin somewhat tired and pissed. The children didn't like how he looked so they pointed at the wolf. Kirakeiko pointed her both hands at Saito. "What did you do to my daughter wolf?" Kenshin barked walking to Saito his eyes dripping hate.

"Are they gonna fight?" came whispers.

"Your kid wants me to read a nappie-time story. I don't do those things…" he turned his back on Kenshin.

"Humph. Freak" Kenshin deeply spat. Kirakeiko looked at Saito, "he's more than that" she added.

Kenshin lifted his daughter and placed her back in her area. Looking into her eyes she placed her small hands on his cheeks. His handsome face. She looked so much like Kaoru. She had the hairstyle and everything to go with it. "Do you really want a story sweetheart?" he asked sweetly.

"Uh-huh" she nodded cutely. He kissed her forehead. "Okay, Shishio, read them a story"

"Me? Why me?" he asked flatly.

"Because you didn't do anything to help around"

"Man, I got bugged and it wasn't pretty"

"Just read the kids a story" and with that the four fathers made silent retreat in the kitchen.

Shishio sighed. "Okay Kirakeiko what do you want to hear about?"

"Princesses …like me" she smiled

"Okay that's a bit vague honey, but uncle Shishio will try."

"Once upon a time in a far away place there lived in a small cottage a Princess called Arwen. Arwen was the most beautiful girl, she had blue hair, blue eyes and wonderful red lips" he paused watching the children. He liked Lord of the rings so he included it in nearly anything.

"Uncle Shishio this bites. Tell us a story of you and Uncle Battousai fighting."

"Yehhh" the children agreed

"But kitty-chan wants to hear her stowie" she pouted at Anthony…

"Come on Kirakeiko—for us just this once" the boy begged.

"Okie dokie" she lied down and listened.

"It was 18—um, 1852 the time of the Bakumastu. An endless trail of---blood" he whispered the last word

The children smiled and sat up listening to the man. "In Edo a legend was born, they called him a demon, a demon no one could explain or even bring down. For many miles his name became legend and the legend became a myth when no one could defeat him, his name was sang on the angels of death, Hitokiri Battousai. His name resided and he grew fiercer. His captain—um, Kogoro Katsura told him one night to go out and killed their nemesis, Shishio Mokoto. But Shishio that night didn't come out to fight he was at home getting his grove one with a hot chick called Yumi" he hinted his brows. Nobody understood what he implied.

"As I was saying, as he kept going through the streets, he felt that someone was looking at him" the children gasped out. Kirakeiko looked like she was scared. Running across to Ryuo she hid in his arms.

Ryuo who was Kenji's second best friend watched the pair. Rolling his eyes he spoke "what happened next?"

"Well, in the street a young woman began walking into the same direction as the Battousai and the unknown seeker" he paused watching how they gasped, "then, a ninja darted out his long chain-spear-thingee and flung it at the Hitokiri's neck. It was snapped on tightly and the young Battousai struggled against his bound. The ninja pulled but Battousai was not the easiest match. Still walking on her way, was this beautiful woman who was forever left open to be glorified by the heavens, she walked again and again with a pink parasol in her hand, her white and navy kimono soiled from the mud. Rain began falling making the scenario worst, she couldn't see where she was walking, then amidst all… tears began forming in her eyes. She cried."

"Why?" came Mellei's soft voice.

"She's sad coz her father had died"

The girls gasped. "Poor—whoever she is" Kirakeiko spoke…

"Battousai began getting fedup, turning his blade over he fisted the hilt and waited for the ninja. Pulling him, the ninja came into strike. Battousai awaited him in Battoujitsu stance. Then he slashed the man through and through, falling to his knees a beauty protruded from the darkness. Watching the floor he saw Sakuras. Watching in the distance he saw the face of a goddess. Her blue eyes radiant but teary… 'it is men like you who whisper to darkness and chose innocents as your fools' she whispered. Battousai dropped his sword. 'Wh-who are you?' drifted his only question, she said 'I am Kaoru…your fiancée and I'm displeased at you' he was shock"

Kirakeiko shot up "MOMMY is in the story, wohoo!" she sat back down.

Sano came out to see the children still awake, calling the boys they peeped as the children listened to bandage boy.

"And he said, how are you my fiancée? She said I am, because you'd remember I was Akame from the slave-trade daughter and she promised me to you as a child. Have you forgotten? You might as well. Since I was sold, it was never specified what happened to me. I was sold Kenshin to a man who I learned to call my father, and all this time when I tried to find hope I found you…I missed you my darling. But why...why have you succumb yourself to this? ---------I loved you' came her sad voice" he whispered.

The girls sniffed. Kenshin listened, if he didn't know any better he swore he was telling them a story of Battousai and his wife.

"But you were sold. I never saw you again Kaoru. Akame—and I---we thought you'd be dead or even left as a waste.' My Kaoru, he ran to her hugging her. She cried in his arms, for the second time did he feel like his heart was mending…and the reason for it was because he found the love of his heart back with him'

"The end" came Kenshin's voice…

"Aww" the children groaned.

"Time to sleep…" the children snorted but they obeyed.

"Shishio, can I have a little talk with you?"

"Sure thing"

The both men made their way in the kitchen, "what the hell do you think you're doing? We aren't exactly the best of buds, in friendship or in commerce but that gives you no right to tell the kids such a story"

"Now now Battousai, I didn't tell them everything."

"If you did dare" he was interjected "look you need to relax, everybody knows you've been taking your job too seriously. Lighten up Himura, relax, have some fun with the kids, treat them like kids, they're not adults so don't treat them like it. I realize you're willing to take all the consequences for us and the responsibility but we're men, we can handle this. You don't have to be so you know Battousai, just chill" Shishio pat his back. For some dumb reason Kenshin knew he was right, and he wasn't willing to admit such a truth if it was the last thing he did. Regardless what they were still top rivaling bosses of two of the most successful incorporations in Japan and in Asia.

Kenshin looked at his watch, it was 12:03pm he wondered what the girls were doing now. He preferred be anywhere else but here. This was the torture of being a father who comprised stupidly to baby-sit the devil's spawn. Is there any justice? No---he guessed not!

The boys gathered tiredly in the kitchen when the toddlers were asleep.

"You know if I knew kids were so much trouble I'd never volunteer myself for an early death" Sano whined

"Yeah! You know what really ticks me off? The fact the girls knew we'd go through this sorta hell with the kids" Kenshin sounded really frustrated.

"Yeah, that's how women these days are. They're not like the women back then---you know the honest and caring typical wives. Nowadays wives are into the hipster style and are too contemporary to care…humanity has drawn its line between eras" sighed Shishio sadly…

"We deserve to get even" came Saito's rash reply.

"You know what wolf you're actually right. I mean they wanted us to do this---they knew we'd see hell in colours---they knew all along but they didn't warn us. We should get even…but how?" asked Aoshi, it was the first time he found his tongue

"Hmm…but what if guys…what if they didn't know?" thought Sano…

"What do you mean?" asked Kenshin

"What if they really did give in to us because they thought they truly were getting a break? Could we afford to break that for them?" Sano whispered

"Okay—so we won't get even…we gotta to meet Mr. Takada or else we're not going to get the package. Do we leave the kids alone or what?" asked Sano

"Sanosuke---sometimes I worry for you. You can't leave toddlers alone and unsupervised the little things are smarter than us when we were their ages." Shishio rattled

"Alright alright, no need to get your shorts wet, so then gentlemen, what do you propose we do, we can't all go to Hilton Inc. Manager." Sano explained

"Well, lets see, since this job doesn't call for much we'll leave Saito and Shishio back. The rest of us will hit the road, lets go" Kenshin addressed and with that the three men went to the garage on the side of the house. Getting into the black Jaguar X-j Kenshin drove off for their destination, the Hilton Hotel.

Sano who was in the passenger's seat next to Kenshin fumbled with the radio. Tuning through he heard only garbage, "Britney Spears? Hmph, Megumi surprisingly doesn't like that girl. She says she sounds like she permanently has a cold…hmm—and we're scouting again---hmm some Korn--- I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again doesn't make me bad it's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh make me bad" Sano sang.

"Man how I love Korn…" he praised.

"Yeah I remember when we were back in College everybody was into Korn and everybody who was anybody had to buy their cd" Kenshin remembered the good old days.

"Yeah, and then came Linkin Park not too far back. Linkin Park really sounds good, I'm not impressed by Evanescence" Kenshin explained

"Me either that girl is so horrid looking, and teenage girls actually like how her eyes look? Geez why don't they just cut their eyes and place black eye-liner over it then KABOOM you get that Amy girl's look. She seriously is a mockery to Gothic" Aoshi explained…

"Yeah she is, just because she made on single hit Bring me back to life everybody is all over her, so what happened to Linkin Park and Korn. People are weird, they only like new punks and forget the ones who helped them through their crap, and tell me you guys what's with that single 'My immortal?'" asked Kenshin

"I have no idea---that song---is BLAH! I'm so tired of being here---suppressed by all my childish fears, if you have to leave---that's all I know. It's really---um---well---B-ORING! She needs one, a make over, and two, a good man." Sano reckoned

The boys laughed.

Sooner than they expected they arrived at the complex. Sano whistled at the building. "This shit is big"

"You got that right"

The three entered the building. Heading to the check-in lobby, Kenshin spoke to the woman in the check-in counter.

"Hi, um is Mr. Takada here?" he asked

"It depends whose come to see him" the woman spoke coldly.

"Hmm, I'm Battousai Himura, known as Kenshin. I came to see him"

The woman gasped, 'oh kami---he is so hott' her brain registered.

"T-This way" she smiled clumsily escorting the men to conference room, she pushed the large black door revealing a man who was standing by a large window.

"Thank you" Kenshin gave her a small smile

"S-sure thing" she smiled brightly.

Kenshin entered with his small group "good afternoon Mr. Takada" Kenshin addressed

"Ahh Mr. Himura I've been expecting you." The old man turned looking at the three.

"Some Vodka for you men?" asked the men

"Suree—bring it on" Sano smiled. Kenshin cuffed him.

"Um no thank you. We're here to discuss the honey-moon package" Kenshin informed

"Ah yes. Well you gentlemen asked me for the top suite and extensive extra-activities. We've agreed to facilitate for you gentlemen, but the cost is a whooping 54, 000 yen for all your personal accommodations, activities and side-line requests. Up to 30 people can be housed and children are free of charge at the resort. Do you accept for your ten night eleven day stay?" the old man asked

"Um---yeah. My wife she's always tired and busy and having a second honey-moon ain't too bad" Kenshin blushed

"Yeah, I'm always up for some time with Megumi" everyone simply stared at Sano.

"If you would just sign here Mr. Himura on the dotted line all affirmations will be –as they say affirmed" Kenshin looked at the document reading through it even the fine print. Signing his signature he past the paper to man.

"Well thank you Mr. Himura, we hope to see you and your group soon. Good day" the man spoke.

"Yeh"

---

Later on that day...

"Uncle Shishio" Kirakeiko started.

The man turned around. She was the first to be waking.

"Yes sprite?" he asked seeing her crossing her legs.

"Kitty needs to pee pee" she bit her lips cutely.

"Have you pottie trained already?"

"No—mommy was teaching… but Kitty no gets"

"Okay---uncle Shishio is going to teach you…" he took her hand and they both went to the washroom.

"Okay, now what you gotta do is sit, and think of something and then ---just---well, just pee."

"Just pee?" she asked cutely

"Yes, just pee."

"Okay Kitty tries." She shut the door. She pulled down her pants and sat on the small toilet that was beside the big toilet. She sat and thought.

"It's not working" she shouted pissed…

"Try harder---just push" he leaned against the door.

"Okay" she pushed hard, but it wasn't working. She wasn't urinating. She stood up fedup. 'Stupid crap-bowl' she kicked the toilet. The toilet paper that had been on the top of her toilet fell in.

"Opps?? Did I do that?" she bit her lips in panic

"Kirakeiko do you need some help honey?" he asked

"Um—no—no—don't come in" she pulled her hair looking at the situation. 'Aww man, now I gotta takes nasty toilet paper out' she groused out. She ran to the bathroom vanity looking for something long. 'Ah Daddy's and Kenji's tooth-brushess' she took the two tooth-brushes and ran back to her toilet. Using the toothbrushes like tongues. She bit her lips seeing that the toilet paper was beginning to sink. She raised the wet toilet paper but as quick as she retrieved it, she had the urge to pee.

'Uh-oh'

Biting her lips extremely hard she kept up her pee.

"Kirakeiko?" Shishio called after hearing something fall into the water.

"Um---Kitty has a stomach aches…she makes lot of noises" Kirakeiko began making farting noises that sounded very displeasing.

'That isn't very lady-like' thought Shishio.

Kirakeiko manage to get the paper out, her only problem was where to put it. Throwing it in the bin she returned her father's and brother's toothbrush in their rightful places. Shishio realized something was up.

Kirakeiko then felt it again, this time she couldn't hold it, she peed on the floor. Relief coming over face. Shishio barged open. Looking at the floor he groused out.

"I missed" she giggled in girlish wonder.

He sighed, 'girls'

He lifted the little rascal and began placing her under the shower for a bath. Placing on the water she screamed at how cold the water was. He regulated it to warm by adding some hot water. She jumped and twirled around bathing herself. Shishio mopped the pee off the floor hearing the cheery child singing and screaming.

"You all done?" he asked…

"Uh-huh" she nodded.

He took her pink towel and handed her making sure not to look or else she'd smack him.

She wrapped it around her and with that he collected her and they proceeded to her room. She chose a pretty pink dress with frills at the bottom. Placing a beautiful pink bow in her hair she smiled at herself in the mirror.

"You're beautyyyyy-ful" she squealed. Vain isn't she audience?

Running downstairs she saw the children awaking. "Y-ello y'all" she waved.

The boys smiled. She was so beautiful in her pink dress, and that pink bow in her hair really brought out her eyes.

"Okay people time to get up" Saito spoke coldly

"But we're still tired" a few complained

"I said get up" he shouted.

They huffed. Reluctantly the toddlers got up.

"Okay kids, time for your mannerism and etiquette lesson, everyone get into the kitchen---come on" Shishio spoke the children whined but they obeyed.

They all sat down next to the small table.

"Okay—today we're going to try something new. Can anybody tell me the meaning of etiquette?" Shishio asked

"Food?" Chris asked

"No"

"Games?" Ryuo asked

"Nooo"

"Manners?" Kenji sighed to himself

"Very good Kenji"

"Thank you, thank you very much" he did an Elvis thanks.

"Okay since we know what it means, can anybody tell me what you're suppose to do when the food you want is not directly in front of you?" he asked placing a bunch of different fruits on the table.

"Lets chow" Chris and Anthony exclaimed

"You wish" Saito smugly answered

"Can you please past me corn—or whatever the meal be" Giselle spoke

"Very good Giselle" Shishio placed a strawberry on her plate. Everyone drooled.

"If you all want a straw-berry you all are going to have to answer sensibly" Shishio deciphered.

The nodded. "What are you suppose to do when you want to belch?" Shishio asked

"Belchhh" the boys said flatly…

"Nope! Wrong answer"

"You're uppose (suppose) to cover your mouth and say s'xcuse (excuse) me when you're done" Kirakeiko said cutely

"That's right sweetheart" he handed her a strawberry.

"It's the same colour as my hair, and its tastes like Kitty, sweet" she giggled

"Okay, next question. What are you to do when you're eating soup?" he asked

Hands shot up. "Hmm—lets see, Mellei"

"You're suppose to use a spoon and not slurp" she smiled

"Excellent job" he handed her a strawberry.

"Can somebody demonstrate all the following rules we have learnt so far?" all hands rose.

"Um, Ryuo"

The boy got up and demonstrated all the rules they had been discussed.

"Very good, here you go" he was handed a peach.

He grinned.

"On which side does the knife and the fork go on?"

No hands rose. "Come on, think"

"Hmm" a lot of that could be heard from the toddlers.

"Um, can I try?" asked Jinnger…

"Sure sweetheart"

"The knife goes on the right and the fork on the left" she said worriedly.

"That is absolutely" "WRONNG" Chris stuck out his tongue

"Chris stop it, she's right" the little girl smiled. She was rewarded with a pear.

"Okay guys use your brains. So far the girls have gotten everything correct. Okay this is a tricky one, what is the rule that is used when someone is eating food with a fork or a spoon?" Shishio asked. No hands rose.

"It's something to do with one of the fingers" Kenji rubbed his chin.

"That is correct" he was handed a peach, "but something's missing" Shishio spoke

"Um—you stick out one of your fingers?" Anthony joked

"That is correct" he handed Anthony a peach

"But which finger?"

"Your index?" asked Giselle

"No"

"Your middle finger?" Anthony laughed

"No you sick child"

"Um, your thumb?" asked Ryuo

"Noo…"

"Um, your pinkie" Joshu spoke.

"Correct" he was handed a pear.

"Okay, next question, how are you suppose to sit on a chair?"

Hands shot up.

"Um, with your foot on the chair?" Anthony spoke demonstrating.

"No…"

"With foot on your table?" Kevin asked

"Nope"

"With your foot the floor?" asked Kirakeiko

"Is that a question or statement?" asked Shishio

"State-something word" she smiled cutely.

"You're correct, but your answer is incomplete" he handed her a peach.

"Um…you're suppose to sit upright" Chris demonstrated.

"Excellent work kid" he handed the boy a pear.

"So easy question now, how are you to chew?"

"With your mouth closed" Kevin said

"Correct" he handed the boy a pear.

"Next question, demonstrate the use of a napkin" Shishio spoke

Hands shot up. He one by one they demonstrated the usage but they were all wrong.

"Kirakeiko, you're the last person"

"This is easy, mommy always shows me this one" she smiled. She demonstrated by wiping the side of her mouth gently, placing it back subserviently on her lap.

"Excellent, Kirakeiko gets a pear" he handed her the pear. As was noticed the little girl was in lead.

Kirakeiko was young but she was extremely smart. Same for Kenji, the only reason he wasn't being smart was because he was getting a serious headache from the sun that was coming through the French-doors.

"Okay if you demonstrate how to place a lady in her seat you'll win a pear gentlemen" Kenji rose his hand.

Walking over to Sakura the small girl stood. Kenji pulled back the chair for her, she sat on it whilst he pushed it up so she was nestled perfectly in her seat.

"Very good Kenji" he handed the boy the fruit.

"Last question, what are the two magic words on the mannerism table?" he asked

"Um…more please?" Anthony asked

"No…"

"Excuse me and thank you" Kenji sound fedup and tired.

He was given the last fruit.

Ringing of bell on the door

"Okay all done. Guys I'll return in a short while, I have to see who's at the door" Shishio went into the drawing room.

"This was so boring" Kenji banged his head against the table

"I found it rather joyable (enjoyable)" Kirakeiko spoke eating her fruits. "All done" she smiled

"Hey you guys look, snacks---and sugar" Anthony pointed

"Sugar?" Jinnger perked up

"I want some" Mellei shot up

"Me too" Giselle said.

"Lets get it" the whole girl line abandoned their seats stealing the sugar. The boys eventually joined them. Stealing some Snickers, Mars and Hersey's chocolate they began getting hyper.

"WOHOO" the girls scream, as they pelt sugar over to the boys. Before you knew it a boy and girl fight occurred.

At the door:

"Hey you guys, what's up, got the suite?" asked Shishio.

"Oh yeah! Where are the kids?" asked Kenshin

"They're in the back"

"Alone? As in alone?" he questioned

"Yeah…"

"Oh kami" the men immediately ran to the kitchen. There before them was insanity ruling.

"KALABONGA" The girls screamed when they felt hyperactivity rule.

"What the heck is going on?" Kenshin asked.

The children screamed. Running out into the back yard they placed on the hose. Kenshin and his crew came after the evil toddler squad.

"Let it rip" Anthony spoke and with that they sprayed the fathers.

"Oh godd" the men were really getting pissed. But unknown to the fathers a boy and girl fight was occurring.

"GIRLS RULE" the girls pelt mud into the boys faces.

"AGHHH" the boys shouted out in pure anger.

"WET EMM" The boys ordered and they did soak the girls.

It was all about fun the men thought. Fun and evilness. Sear evilness taken from their mothers. Such evil spawn could only be made from the devil. The Devil truly took any form it desired from animals to children, from beautiful to wicked babes. Their wives had so much to explain!!

Kenji sent mud across onto the girls' side. The girls screamed out running around in disoriented circles. Making a dash-line for their fathers, they ran behind the adults taking shelter from the mud. The young toddlers didn't stop pelting the mud.

Main Captain to the mud infestation was Himura Kenji.

The five fathers stood collecting mud plump after mud plump in their face.
Sano wiped off the mud from his eyes "Kenshin…" he started in a patient voice…

"What?" came the low and pissed reply

"Can I kill your son?" was his only question

"I feel like killing them all, including the angels behind us" Kenshin rattled.

"I am not taking this shit" Saito firmly addressed, shaking off from the mud.

"Me either" Shishio snapped.

"Lets take control gentlemen" Aoshi retorted.

"Lets" Kenshin whispered coldly…

"Oh come they're just kids" Sano tried explaining.

"SANOO"

"Alright alright"

The fathers walked to their sons taking more mud clumps but they didn't mind. They had a few tricks up their sleeves as well. Kenshin dropped first. He hoped this worked. Falling on the floor as if he was dead, he lay there just motionless, soon the fathers followed the accord of the red head, falling to the floor lifelessly. Kenji halted the mud war. Watching on in horror at his father, he turned around looking at his friends with pure freak.

"They're just joking Kenji" Joshu addressed.

"It doesn't seem like they are" Chris examined his father.

"Humph! Stay back and be amazed" Joshu went over to his father kicking him straight up his 411-central-live.

Saito contained his yelp. Sano was beginning to shake with the laughter he couldn't contain. It was too much for him. He just wanted so badly to laugh. But his lungs were bursting with excess air he needed to get off.

"Well that wasn't good. They look dead to me but oh well, lets go drive their car" Joshu proclaimed

The boys blinked back just sighing at the boy's awkward comment. Expect that from the Wolf-boy.

"Well how about we insect them?" came a small whisper from Ryuo.

"Oh yeahhhh" was all the boys could think. If this didn't work then they truly were the youngest killers there could be. Digging into the ground their small nails and fingers latched onto worms and all sorts of bugs that even men hated. Though some of the bugs gave a wicked sting, the little boys knew perfectly well how to handle such insects.

"What now?" they looked at one another.

"Down their pants" Anthony laughed evilly.

"Good idea" closer and closer they approached their fathers, pulling their pants open they shoved the insects in. Anthony looked at his watch counting the seconds-down.

"In five, four, three, two—one" they looked at their fathers who seem lifeless, but the truth be told these insects had such a wicked sting they'd make the dead be evoked back to the living. It was just a matter of time before fathers of the century experience a bite like never before.

And before the very flutter of the little boys eyes, the fathers' shot up shouting at the sorta bite they just received. The jumped and hopped madly.

"GET IT OUTTT" Sano shouted in horror

"Man you gotta be joking. There is no way I'm pushing my hand down your pants. HAHA, YOU LIED!" Shishio said brusquely flat.

"GET IT OFFF" Sano screamed like a teenage girl who lost her first crush.

"You little runts" Sano snarled angrily peering at the group of wicked toddlers. He walked forward but the group voluntarily walking backwards, somewhat afraid by the man-hunter look on his face.

"OH MICKEY YOU'RE SO FINE, YOU'RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND, HEY MICKEY HEY MICKEY" noise could be heard coming from inside.

"Is that my imagination or is that music?" Kenshin asked. Kenshin looked around realizing the girls weren't around. 'Uh-oh'

"Where're the girls?" he asked.

"Uh-oh"

"Aghh" Kenshin pulled his hair.

Running indoors he followed the muddy-foot prints and hand-prints. 'Kaoru is going to kill me'

Pushing the door he saw the group of girls singing, "Hey Kenji so you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey kenji, hey kenji" they sang. Kirakeiko stepped back. There was no way she was going to say that. Leaning her muddied self against the mall, Kenshin felt the urge to cuss and scream, most literally.

Kirakeiko as quiet as she looked managed to pass her father's eyes. Biting her lips she pressed disc 2 on the cd player. Immediately a familiar tune of Linkin Park 'Faint' began playing. Hard rock blasted throughout the room. The girls gave one look at Kirakeiko who crazily danced to the music. In two blinks all the girls began dancing.

'I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard a handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars. I am what I want you to want, want I want you to feel but its like no matter what I do I can't convince you to just believe this is real, so let go watching you turn your back like you always do face away and pretend that I'm not, but I'll be here cause you're all that I got. I CAN'T FEEL, THE WAY I DID BEFORE DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME I WON'T BE IGNORED!'

Their small hands went over their heads waving it to the somewhat wild rock song. Kirakeiko closed her eyes stressing all the lines, she got so far as third line in the song without messing up words. Kenshin had to agree he felt raged and music wasn't helping him although the song somehow was related to their wild situation. Taking off the cd player everyone froze looking at Kenshin.

"Everyone get upstairs for a bath." He spoke loudly… looking at them. "NOWW!!" they all ran up the stairs.

Kenshin sighed. Smelling himself, he had to admit he smell like shit. 'What have I placed myself in? Hell perhaps'

Outside::

The boys were being washed off from the hose, bathing butt-naked on the front lawn.

"Come on, what if the girl see us?" Kenji blushed furiously covering what he could from the snickering girls who were peeking from the bathroom window.

"Then let them see, you don't have much to talk about" Sano wavered.

"Heyy" Kenji growled.

Bathing off from the mud, the boys wiped up and dressed up in some of Kenji's clothes. Sitting perfectly still and angry on the couch they all folded their hands looking at their fathers angrily. The adults didn't mind, they'd say they just got even.

The girls were now wiping up, a few of them already tidied and some coming their hair. Kirakeiko entered her room with her best friends behind her. The room was as large as Kenji's. The margarine and somewhat Barbie pink walls, gave way to the pink décor and then those few most colourful accents. On the ceiling was a big picture of Barbie smiling. To the side of her bed was a most perfect Tea-set table set for five. Kirakeiko usually played with her dolls, like her pink Mr. Teddy, Barbie, Ken and green Shrek, but since she had living-breathing friends she pelt the dolls away letting her friends sit with her.

"Let's play tea-set" Kirakeiko said.

"Sure…"

"But first we'll have to dress up" Kirakeiko paused. Walking over to her pink chest she opened it revealing a bunch of scarves, beads, hats, gloves and so forth. The two girls immediately ran in for the dress up fiesta. Kirakeiko thought to herself. Since there were only three people two more were needed. She knew the boys wouldn't play with her, so she devised another way.

"DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDY" she screamed on the top of her lungs. Immediately running strides could be heard against the floor, barging open he looked around, "where, where's the fire?" he looked around seeing no fire.

"There's no fire daddy, Kitty wants daddy to do her avours (favours)?" she asked most innocently and down right cutely. Biting her lips just like her mother. Was it something unconscious to both ladies or was it used only for evil in the disguise of innocence and cuteness?

"Sure thing honey" he stooped to her holding her by the small waist.

"Can you and uncle Sano play tea with me and the girls?" she asked cutely.

'How do I get myself in these situations? God where are you?'

"Pwease, for Kitty-chan" she gave the puppy-face. Her eyes large with smooth sparkles of innocence across her orbs. The puff of her cheeks and pout of the lips really was sinning. It worked any direction to anyone and anyone. Kenshin who was a partial cold-blooded official and board member found himself on the brink.

"Um…"

"Pweaseeeeeeee" she screamed out jumping into his arms.

'Ohh man'

"So what's you say?" she asked

"Um…sure thing sweetheart" he hugged her back

(15mins)

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" asked Sano

"For the girls…" Kenshin spoke dryly. Both men kept walking up the stairs

"Kenshin—why did you have to say yes? She brought on the puppy eyes didn't she?" Sano whined

"Yes…why do they do that evil thing?" asked Kenshin wondering to himself

"It's a girl thing. A mystery we may never figure out" Sano inclined

Opening the door Kirakeiko stood folding her hands cutely, her eyes narrowed. She was wrapped in beads, gloves, hats and scarves.

"You're late" she bluntly spoke, her eyes anger-filled.

"Sorry"

"Hmm, follow me" the boys sat around the table.

"These chairs are kind of small" Sano whispered to Kenshin

"You think?!"

"Daddy you misses something, you and uncle Sano" Kirakeiko rubbed her chin.

"Really?"

"Yes, you needs to dress up"

"OHHH NOOO" both men argued. The three girls growled.

"Lead the way ladies" a cute smile came across both fathers.

Kirakeiko began with the hats. Mellei with the beads and chains, and Jinnger with the gloves and scarves.

"There perfect" the girls marveled at the two fathers. Just imagine a grumpy Battousai with a hat on, pink clip on earrings, beads about his neck, gloves on his hand and three scarves around his neck. The same went for Sano.

"Daddy you need to loose your hair" Kirakeiko pulled the hair-band from his hair, it was loose and he looked "beautyyy-ful"

With that they began playing. "So Mellie how's the business in Tiwan?" asked Jinnger.

"Oh you know how businesses could be. Such a bore really" Mellei sipped her tea graciously.

"Tea Ms. Grumpy, Mrs. Cigar?" asked Kirakeiko

"It's Sagara." Sano gritted his teeth.

Kenshin couldn't believe his daughter addressed him as Ms. Grumpy. Evil Kaoru genes again.

"Sure" both men answered.

Pouring the tea within the both cups, Sano and Kenshin looked at the cup somewhat confused.

"Kirakeiko honey, there's no tea in the cup, are you daft my child?" he asked

"Yes daddy there is tea in the cup…" she sipped hers.

Sano turned over his cup, "um…there's nothing but air in my cup"

"Agggh! Daddy, Uncle Sano, you two have to look harder" she demonstrated by pouring herself some more tea and drinking it happily.

Kenshin and Sano looked at their cup harder, "can't see anything"

"You have to use—um, magination (imagination)" she pointed out.

"Ahhh…well then, it tastes good" Sano sipped his tea.

Kenshin sighed, "yup it does"

A small bell alerted all that Kirakeiko's cookies were done from the oven.

"My cookies are done"

"WOHOO! YOU HAVE FOOD, BRING IT OVER GIRLFRIEND" Sano howled.

The girls struck him with a cold stare, "oh sorry, I meant, I can't wait to taste those delicious cookies. I'm sure they'll be great, don't you say ole chap?"

She nodded. Taking out the cookies she placed it on a plate. Placing it on the table, Sano took the opportunity to bite down on the cookie. It was as hard as rock.

"What the heck is with this cookie? It's either your oven ain't working or you simply can't cook like your mother" Sano said flatly. She was pissed.

"I'm going to tell my mommy!!" she spat vehemently.

"Well look at it" he tapped the cookie against the table, which kept making loud-plastic noises.

"That's because it's fake you dofuss" Kenshin pointed out…

"Oh…I knew that" Sano laughed.

After playing tea for an hour straight the girls retired.

"Daddy I'm hungry" Kirakeiko held his hand. He nodded. Back to the kitchen again. The group of girls came downstairs only to see the boys pushing their hand in the fish thank.

"DADDY THEY'RE KILLING PINKIEEE" Kirakeiko screamed.

Kenshin saw the three boys who were trying to hold the fish. "Get your dirty hands out of that aquarium" Kenshin barked. The three boys backed off. Kirakeiko went to her supposedly crush, Ryuo. Slapping him solid across the face a large 'owww' came from the children.

"Give him some manners" shouted Jinnger.

"Don't ever touch my fishie again" she growled walking away from him. An: No people Kenshin didn't see this. He was in the kitchen talking to the guys, getting pissed and angry. His temper had pitch to the skies and there was nothing he could do to dissipate or suppress it. These toddlers definitely knew how to activate a nerve.

"I'm telling you guys if the girls don't get home soon, I'm going to cuss" Kenshin stirred the pot of Clam and chowder.

"Himura they're kids" was Sano's only reply

Kirakeiko for some apparent reason felt as if she shouldn't be socializing in an area Ryuo was within. She made her way to the kitchen, pushing the door she heard a new word which was short and very convenient to say.

"Don't tell me they're f!?!???king kids" Kenshin cursed loudly. The little girl face was numb of emotion. She perked up and said loudly, "what's that word mean?"

Kenshin felt like shattering. Turning around he looked at his daughter, "y-you heard daddy?"

"Uh-huh! What's fo—fo-um f??!!!! mean?" she asked

The men froze, "she's your daughter" the evacuated the room. Kenshin stooped. "Kitty baby, don't say that word"

"What word?"

"Honey—the f word"

"Oh you mean f??!!!!?" she asked

Kenshin nodded sadly. "But it's a pretty word, Kitty wants to make a song with it---oh –lalalalal-oh f??k!!sie—f??!!ero" she cursed unaware to it.

"Kirakeiko Kitty Himura if you say that one more time daddy will punish you"

She pouted, "why?"

"Coz I don't like that word"

"But you saided it"

"It was accident"

"Oh! Is it a bad word?" she asked knowing the rules on bad words

"Um…yes, um—actually no" he remembered how she told her mother how he said the "a" word when he specifically told her not to tell. That was before he told her it was a curse and she just had to tell.

"Okay daddy"

---

"Well girls today was a great day. The guys must be asking for a way out. We should do this more often" Megumi spoke

"Yes, next Saturday sounds good" the girls began making a date for their next-hang-out.

Kaoru seriously wanted to get out of the car. She felt guilty throughout the trip. Why? She didn't know. Running to the door, she pressed the bell.

Immediately the door was opened to a hot tempered Kenshin, "what?" he paused seeing his wife, "oh—Kaoru, ladies, good afternoon"

"Hey good-looking" was the only reply he got. Escorting the ladies in, the little children saw their mothers. Immediately they all ran to them. Kirakeiko was first in line. Jumping straight into her mother's arms she hugged her tightly. Kenji hugged his mother who felt so much relief of being home with her kids.

The fathers could care less right now. They all sat together on the couch folding their arms. The mothers noticing something was extremely wrong made way to find out.

"Boys" came Kaoru's soft voice.

They didn't answer. "Girls some help please" Kaoru called for backup.

"Okay you guys what's the matter?" asked Megumi

"Do you know how much—torture we went through this morning and this afternoon?" snapped Sano…

"Torture from?" Misao asked

"From your demonic children" answered Aoshi.

"Serves your right" Tokio said…

"Oh?"

"Yes…it does, you gentlemen shouldn't have made a Saturday hang-out using children as your way out" reckoned Yumi

"What the heck are you girls talking about?"

"The football with hot-chicks show" came Megumi's sassy reply

"That was today?" asked Sano… "I missed it" Sano cried out.

"Hang on, you mean you guys didn't know?" asked Misao…

"Of course not. Is that why you girls allowed us to stay home and truly go through with this hell-mania?" asked Kenshin

"Yehhh"

"Where did you get such a whack idea from?" asked Kenshin incredulously.

"Kaoruuuu" the girls whined…

"HEEHEH? Gotta go" she got ready to run but she was the main target for the boys. They circled her…

"So our little Jou-chan is the one who planned it all" Sano came closer to grab her.

"Um no…not really" she cutely answered

"That ain't going to work tanuki" Saito snapped

"Well excuse me…" she stuck out her tongue…

"But why Kaoru, why?" asked Aoshi…

"I dunno---you guys just doing something like this out of the blues really is kinna weird" Kaoru explained

"Weird you say, did you know why we stayed home?" asked Shishio

"Um no"

"We stayed home to surprise you girls about the Hilton honeymoon." She turned to Kenshin.

"Oh my gosh! So you guys were really doing something good then?" she asked shock.

"Oh yeah…and have we got a surprise for you missy" the five men caught her and made their way to the backyard pool. A pool that was off limits to all the toddlers. Throwing the woman in she screamed.

"You rotten men"

"Hhaha, serves who right now?" the men asked.

She huffed.

Later on that day the kids explained what had happened, "we watched movies, we stole snacks, ate sugar, learned stupid table manners, play tea, muddied up ourselves, dance, sing, watched the boys bath naked on the lawn, play war with the boys, eat fruits, listen to killing stories and take naps." The girls explained.

"Well that was some adventure" the wives thought cuddling in their husbands arms. Kenshin placed his head against his wife lap letting her rub his temples.

"Well it's getting late Kenshin and Kaoru. We'll see you guys something, take care" bit by bit family left the Himura's premises. Kaoru brushed her daughters hair smiling at how truly beautiful she was.

"Time for beddie little princess" Kaoru lifted her daughter. Placing her on the bed, Kaoru realized her table was set for five but no dolls were by the chairs.

"You played tea today?"

"Yes, uncle Sano and daddy doesn't make good Ms. Grumpy and Mrs. Cigar. They badd ladies. They have no magination mommy, tsk tsk." Kirakeiko sadly whispered.

Kenshin walked down the hall after tucking his son in. Seeing his wife and daughter he smiled.

"Well not everyone has imagination Kitty"

"Why?"

"Because they forget it…"

"Can it be forgetted? (forgotten)" she asked

"In way age takes away a lot of things from us." Kaoru explained.

"I see…" the little girl thought.

"Well time for bed. Nightie-night don't let the bed bugs bite" Kaoru kissed her daughters forehead and made her way out.

"Mommy"

"Yeh angel?"

"I learned a pretty word today"

"Really?"

"Yeh, wanna hear it?"

"Sure…"

"F??!!!!" she smiled

Kaoru nearly fainted, "KIRAKEIKO KITTY HIMURA WHERE HAVE YOU HEARD THAT WORD FROM?"

"Daddy…"

"HIMURA KENSHINNNNNNNNN" Kaoru screamed.

"Uh-oh"

Well with all explained, with all said, and with all done, we draw to the end of this wild tale. You know what they say and you know what they do, so next time somebody asks you to babysit a toddler or even some toddlers, remember, you may very much be asking for your deathwish. Always around, always here, telling you a tale of truth and despair. With everything in order I say my farewells. Remember these toddlers who seem angels were really from the seven hells. ----

And they lived happily ever after…

The end!

---

An: WOWEE! 32 PAGES!! MAN! That's long, okay you guys this fic is my longest one-shot and I've been writing it for a long time too. Working on this a lot. I was so busy, you know updating, writing this fic, reading and marking the fanfictions for the rk competition---so it's real frustrating. Well I hope everyone likes this fanfiction, I agree I am not a good writer at all, but the message be, I dedicated it to my chibi-sister Shiro-tanuki. Be sure to read her fics because they're really nice and entertaining. Enjoy your day everyone.

Wishing you the best and the nothing the less (fhb © 2004 quote)

Review if you like…