Porcelain Doll

Disclaimer: I do not own RK, never have, never will, if I did I'd be rich and wouldn't be wasting my free time here.

Summary: The fact that she would do anything for him meant nothing, the fact that she'd given everything up just in hopes that he'd talk to her meant nothing. According to him, he did not love her; she was just a child trying to be an adult, nothing more, nothing less. So she married a man she did not love, and he stayed isolated away from society, frozen forever in his own shame.

Rated: R for violence, swearing, abuse, depression, murder, suicide, and possible lemon/lime stuff.

Genre: Romance/Angst/Drama

Note: Uh, I even posted a review on this, this story is NOT a short story, it was just one chapter out of an entire story. But anyway thanks for the kind reviews!

4444

"Never fly without a good pair of bullet proof wings, Use tragedy as a vehicle and ride it 'till it stops hurting" -Jessicka Fodera

4444

Drip, drip, drop, drip, drop, drop, drip.

How long had it been since he had seen her sweet face? Nearly 3 years, oh how he had missed her so, her long visits, her chatty ways, her wit, her humor, and everything else about her, he longed for it. He had turned her down to protect her but from what has happened, it seems he had failed on that too, that was his curse, he hurt those he loved, and he failed in everything.

"I love you."

He looked up then sighed, his mind played terrible tricks on him, and with him getting older it didn't help anything. He wished she was still around carrying her beautiful smile and cheer, but according to Omasu and Okon she was miserable, she had married some man and had given birth to two boys, two boys that should have been his for that matter. But even though she had tried to get over him she wasn't happy, no, she would never be happy unless he did something, but he couldn't, his pride would never allow that.

"You're the child!" She screamed, "Always denying everything around you for what? For repenting so called sins that no one gives a fuck about! Get over yourself! You should be glad someone, even if it is a child, is telling you they love you! Do you think this is what they would have wanted you to do with yourself? Freeze yourself away from all the people who actually want you to be in their lives and to be happy?!"

Reality was a bitch when it came to his mind, a real whore nobody ever wanted. He was alone in this hated world, he loved her yes, but she could not know, after all, he would ruin her worse then he already had. All the torture inflicted on his life wasn't fair, but then again nothing ever is, when he went to mediate it really wasn't to repent, no, it was to pray that the next morning he wouldn't wake up, at all . . .

4444

The five-year-old boy screamed from the bee sting, carrying his arm he ran over to his mother, a gentlewoman with the grace of a dove and the eyes the color of the salty blue green ocean. She was truly as beautiful as the princess Helen of Troy from Greek mythology, claimed to be the most beautiful woman in the world and whose beauty started a war that lasted 10 long years. However with beauty comes pain, after all, you can never have two wonderful things at once, never, and her pain was a never ending story of blood red and tear clear silk.
"Kachan, it hurts!" The boy screamed.
She moved from her sitting position, stretching her hands out to grab his arms, her white kimono moving with her with just as much grace. "My Tsuki-Kobito " she said kissing his sting, "It'll be ok, go into the bath house and grab some anti-septic and bandage it."
Tsuki smiled through his tears and a small smile broke out on his young face, "Ok!"
The beautiful woman smiled slightly as her son ran off, even though she hated everything she could never hate her children. Even when the sight of them sickened her she loved them, and even when the pain of reality hit her that they were not the children of the man she wanted them to be.

A few minutes later the beautiful woman's son returned with a bandage on his arm and the tears wiped away from his eyes.
"Kachan! Tell me a story! Please Kachan!"
The beautiful woman smirked but did not smile, "Alright" she lifted her arms out and her son sat down in her lap and looked out onto the land behind their house, the beautiful woman wrapped her arms around her son and hugged him close.

"There was once a beautiful dove, this dove was very loving and kind and never judge anyone without knowing them first. But that was her curse for she loved a beautiful raven who was as cold as ice, he was near to being a mute and was sometimes very cruel. But the dove knew deep in her heart that the raven was a kind man and that he kept himself isolated to try and protect everyone. But that was his curse, for when the dove confessed her feelings he put his own aside to try and protect her, only causing both of them pain."

"Why would he do that Kachan?"
"I don't know" She said staring straight ahead as if waiting for her raven to appear and take her away, "But I know this, never be like the raven, never ever be like him, for it will only cause you sadness and loneliness."
"What ever happened to the dove."
The woman sighed, "I don't know Tsuki-kun, some say she died from the pain and that now a shell of a woman remains, others say she waits for the raven's heart to break away from his ice box, and others say that the dove killed herself mentally out of misery." She closed her eyes and held her son closer, "But I think . . . I think she . . ."

"Misao- Kobito!"
The beautiful woman turned her head and looked behind her to come face to face with her husband, she then released her son and waved him off making sure he knew from her body language that she'd tell him the rest later.
"Yes dear?"

4444

Just like before, just like always.
He always woke up, his prayers were never answered, and he still lived . . .
But he always dreamed the same dream, the swirling black vortex always filled his sleep making sure he remember just how exactly he had cut his only tie to earth . . . no she was still there . . . that was why he lived, that was why he didn't swallow the gun or take a Kodachi to his heart.

"Aoshi-san?" The voice of a woman named Omasu said, "Aoshi-san are you awake?"
He did not reply.
"I guess not," she said setting a tray down next to him and then leaving the room.
It was breakfast of course, tea and some kind of meal to go with it, the cooking was never as good as hers had been though, he guessed when she left she had taken everything good with her. Now he knew what it was like to be truly abandoned, it must have felt like shit for her the first time he had left.

4444

"Why are you telling our son that wretched story?"
"I don't know what you mean dear"
The man glared at her, "If you ever tell that story again . . . you'll regret it."
"Fine."
With that, her so-called beloved husband walked off leaving her alone as most every man did.
'Aoshi'

4444

He did not eat, he did not open his eyes, he did not get out of bed, he stayed right where he was, he was awake, perfectly awake, but he did not want to move, for if he moved, reality would hit him like a brick. Reality was a bitch, a real bitch.
'Misao'
Maybe it was finally time for him to actually do something about all of this, maybe it was time be let his pride go and actually give himself some freedom for once.
With this thought, his eyes opened, with this thought he sat up, and with this thought he ate a whole meal for the first time in three years.

4444

'Save me, please, Aoshi I beg you . . .'
The beautiful woman in her dove white kimono with a blood red obi thought violently to herself, her hand twitched and tears began threatening to fall. Would she ever be happy?
'Save me, please . . . I need you.'
She now felt the urge to run, run far away from everything like she did when she had been a teenager, when she had felt everything had never been fair, when she knew he'd run after her and play the part of a silent hero. But this time . . . she resisted the urge to run away, for she knew he would not come for her, no matter how much she wished it true. She was just a bird trapped inside a steel cage, where only her true love could break her free.
Maybe she should run, even if he didn't come for her, it's better to run then to be miserable, it'd get her away from her hell on earth at least for a little while . . .
And with that thought, she smiled a true smile for the first time in three years.

Notes: Ok! Done with that! Sorry it took me so long for this second chapter, anywhoo I've got to go work on the sixth chapter for My Ruin. R&R Please.