A/nwell, It's been FOREVER since I updated this Ficcy. I have been alive, yes, but I just recently got back on Fanfiction. I have another account on here, Nanaki-Talbert, I realized. -ahem- Well I guess I'ma write a new chappy.

Disclaimer: If you really think I own Final Fantasy Seven or anything of the sort, I shall laugh at you and throw sausage at you freely. If I was the owener I woul dnot be on the computer right now but riding around in a golf cart in a country club.

Cloud walked into his living room and sat on his couch. He flipped on his TV, bored as hell. He pulled out his PHS and decided to throw a party. He called Tifa, Barret, Vincent, Nanaki, Cait Sith, Cid. He hated yuffie, but Tifa made him call her anyway.

Cloud="Hello....is Yuffie there"

Person on the other line= "wahahahahahaha boooka tookie!"

Cloud="what the hell? Is she there or not?"

PONTL="wannnnaaana Riki-Tiki tavi!"

Cloud="...Yuffie is that you?"

Yuffie="Yeah."

Cloud="What was all that about?" He was annoyed already by having to call her.

Yuffie="Er...What was What?" In the background Cloud can hear a whip cracking and people screaming.

Person in background="Oh god! She is making us be her love slaves! Please! Help us!"

Yuffie="Shut up you fools! Just for that, You have lost your sock rights!"

PIB="My sock rights?"

Yuffie=-throws a sock at him and slaps him with a flounder.- "shu'up!"

Cloud=...

Yuffie= "Oh yeah, what did you want you sexy beast?"

Cloud="UH....Nothin'...Just wanted to tell you that Sephiroth thinks your hot. Bye!"

He slams the PHS off and stares at a wall. He shrugs and stands, going into the kitchen.

Cloud="Who the hell are you people?!!?!"

Two men and a woman looks up from cloud's fridge. The woman cries out and falls to the floor, writhing in pain.

"SO POOR GRAPHICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Cloud="Rinoa?"

Rinoa="Squall! Help me before I go into a coma and make you travel all over the world and rape people!"

Squall screams and falls to the floor next to Rinoa. He lifts her head off the floor and runs his fingers through her hair.

Cloud doesn't seem to notice and steps on top of them and looks into his fridge, standing next to the other man.

Cloud="Well, Ain't ya gunna fall to the floor over-dramatically and writhe in pain."

Zell="No, I'm eating your hot dogs. Maybe later though."

Cloud="Oh, whatever then. Pass the pickles."

Just then Tifa busts in through the window.

Cloud="I have a window?! Sweet!"

Tifa=" I don't smell cheese anymore! I'm so happy!!!"

She jumps on cloud and starts raping him. Zell looks over his shoulder at cloud screaming for help. "Are you gunna eat your hotdog? Okayyyyy, I didn't think so." He chomps on the hotdog and eats it.

Nanaki and Barret come strolling in, Marlene riding on Nanaki's back. Nanaki grumbled and scowled at her.

Marlene="Thanks daddy fowr letting me wide on Uncle Nana's Backie!"

Nanaki Barret and Marlene all see Tifa,Cloud, Squall, and Rinoa on the floor.

Barret="Oh my god! Don't look Marlene! Your too innocent and you've never seen anything like this before in your innocent, little life!"

Nanaki="she's not all that innocent."

Marlene=" HOLY FUCKING HELL! LOOK AT THOSE HORNY BASTARDS! GODDAMN THEY BE HITTING THAT HARD!!"

Barret passes out after hearing his "innocent" Daughter. Nanaki stands up at knocks Marlene off.

Nanaki="Little Bitch."

Marlene="I'mma get you for that you pussy-whipped bitch!"

Nanaki-"Oh my god! What's wrong with you!?! There are probabaly kids reading this -pauses and picks up a nickle he finds on the floor.- Oooooh....nickle pretty.....oh yeah. There are polly little kids reading this!!!

Marlene="Little kids are government spies, you dolt. Haven't you seen Spy kids?"

Nanaki="The one movie when they got trapped in a coputer was horribly cliche. I mean, really. They woulda been better off with a meteor or an army of agents."

Neo from the matrix busts in through the window.

Cloud="My window! Again!"

Neo="I believe you have information about the matrix. I must eliminate you all."

Marlene="I'd like to see you get through me you overgrown morbid gothic freak!"-She throws a yo-yo at Neo and he falls over and dies.-

Everyone= -O.O-

Squall="Ya Know. That makes no logical sense what-so-ever."

Vincent walks in a speedo bikini and a sombrero. He held up a bottle of wine and squealed like a horse.

Squall="Actually, Horses don't squeal."

Vincent pulled Death Penalty out of his bikini and shot Squall.

Squall="..." -dead-

Rinoa="NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Zell="Wow, there was one-hundred and sixty-eight exclamation points in your hopeless, over dramatic scream."

Rinoa="Now who am I gunna send to walmart to pick me up Tampons?!!"

Everyone screams and throws socks at her, killing her.

Zell="Heh, cool."

Nanaki walks around to look at cloud and tifa. As it turns out they were just playing cards. Zell coached Cloud while stuffing his face with a hotdog.

Zell="Now the numbers gotta be higher than hers. Ya get it now?"

Cloud="Yeah you fag, I told you that an hour ago. You don't listen!"

Zell="Fine I'll run through it run more time."

Nanaki picks up Squall and Rinoa's bodies into the trash compactor. Vincent stumbles in and sits at the table. Cait Sith comes in with huge double D boobs. everyone looks up and freezes.

Nanaki="Oh my god....."

Cloud="Oh my god......"

Vincent="Oh My god......"

Tifa="You went to that plastic surgeon on fifth street didn't you?! NOW YOUR BETTER THAN ME!!!!!!!"

tifa pulled out a needle and jammed it into Cait Sith's Right boob. it deflated instantly.

Cait Sith="Oh My god, you dirty slut!"

Tifa="At least I'm not a transvestite!"

Vincent pulled out Death penalty and shot cait sith. Every one turned and looked at him.

Vincent="Sorry, but my sexy self couldn't stand the stuffed animal. I never really did like him."

Tifa shrugged and jumped on Vincent's lap. Cloud glared and stood up, going to the fridge for a hot dog.

Cid walked in, wearing a thong and a pair of gucci sunglasses. He stepped on Barret and walked into the kitchen.

Cid="Why the hell is barret on the floor?!"

Nanaki="Why the hell are you dressed like your going to an Usher concert?!"

Tifa="Usher is sooooo hot."

Vincent="I know, totally hot like my sexy beast of myself."

Zell="What the fuck?!"

Vincent="I swear I'm not gay! I swear!"

Zell="Huh? I was talking about my hot dog! There's a hair in it!"

Everyone forgot about vincent and huddled around Zell's hot dog.

"eew! It's red!"

They looked at Nanaki, whom was licking himself in places that are unspeakable.

Tifa="Oh my god! Nanaki!"

Nanaki gasps and runs into the bathroom.

Cloud="No Not my bathroom!!! Wait...I have a bathroom! AWESOME!"

Sephiroth walks in wearing a leather thong and a cowboy hat.

Sephiroth="hi everyone."

Vincent and Cid stand and walk over to him.

Cid="Why are we wearing thongs and bikini's?"

Vincent=-speaks like a school girl- "There was a sale at JC Penny's!"

Sephiroth="uh....vincent you are so gay."

Vincent cries like a baby and runs into the bathroom. A high pitched scream is heard and Vincent comes running out, covered in some sort of liquid.

Vincent="nanaki...nasty....ew.....two inches..." -Dies.Well...passes out for a moment over-dramatically.-

Everyone laughs and pokes Vincent's bikini, including cloud.

Cloud="Well I guess I should inspect the damages inflicted to my bathroom."

The bathroom was covered in slime. Nanaki was no where to be found and it was apparent that he jumped out the window.

Cloud="I have a window in here too?!"

Narrator="Your not supposed to read my text you retard."

Cloud="Oh. My bad."

Narrator="NOw get the fuck outta here before I kick your ass."

Cloud="Dum de dum de dum." -isn't listening to the Narrator-

NArrator="YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO THAT!"

Cloud=-totally oblivious-

Narrator="...Just go on to the next event please." -speaking to the author.-

Author (me)="Sorry about that. What do you expect, your not being paid."

Zell finished all the food in the fridge and jumped on his hover board and went back to Balamb.

Zell="Bye my peeps!"

Tifa="That is so last year."

Zell="Fuck you!"

Sephiroth="...Anyone up for a game of twister?"

Barret gets up and sits down at the table.

Tifa="Barret, I have some bad news..."

Barret="What?"

Tifa= "Well, Zell ate all the hot dogs and...Marlene was killed and thrown out the window."

Barret="....OH MY GOD!!!!!! HE ATE ALL THE HOT DOGS?!! THAT BASTARD!"

Tifa="But I have good news."

Barret="Is there some hot dogs left?!"

Tifa="No...but I just saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurence by switching to Geico."

Barret="Cool."

Tifa="Yeah."

Sephiroth="This party is lame. Anyone up for twister?"

everyone="Hell yeah!"

Cid, Tifa,Cloud,Barret,Vincent, and Sephiroth all played Twister untill it was one in the morning. They all slept in the living room.

Weapon snuck in through the window and crept into the living room and killed them all, except for Vincent who was made it's love slave. Vincent kicked and screamed in the process of being carried out the window and knocked off Weapon's head, revealing Yuffie.

Vincent="Oh My god! WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

Yuffie="Shu'up!"

Vincent was never seen or heard from again.

Well, this chapter kinda sucked big hairy balls. -shakes head.- Oh well. I was having a sort of block. I'll do better in the next chapter. And sorry, for it seemed I bashed everyone, except for Cid...I'll make up for that. Buwhahaha -evil laugh.-