~Reviews
Mystical-Maiden: Yes, I did that. Enjoy this chapter.
Battousi Girl: I could reply to everything you said, but we'd just end up going in circles. Love is one of those topics that you could talk about forever. Thank-you, however, for taking the time to look deeper into that.
Kibethan: Right on.
loozer-09: Glad ya found your way back. Yes, I remember you. Enjoy if you find this again ^_^
Pinayazngrl: Thank you.
Raine an Frodo: Eh, maybe this might be considered a cliffy too? **shrugs**
inutikidudez: Aren't we all...
fanfictiongeek36: Yeah, go Inuyasha. He's so cute.
Maria: Thank ya. You'll have to keep reading to find that out though, I can't just give it away :P
A*N* Wow, either I did a really bad job on the last chapter, or people are losing interest. Well, as long as some people are reading it, I'll continue. I've already received way more reviews than I thought I would get, so I'm satisfied. I was thinking about ending it quickly, in the next few chapters...but for what I have planned, I'm not sure that would work out...meh, I'll see.
Oh! And also, I've started another fic called "Never Again." It's going to be much better than this fic, I've made sure of that, or at least I'm working harder and making sure the plot is much thicker and crap. So...as a shameless plug...go read that too! ^_^;
Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will...
**
Kagome groaned into her pillow and began to breathe in the scent of the substance she knew very well as food. Her stomach growled instinctively and she rushed her hand to stroke it softly. Her body was sprawled all over her mattress and her pants were drawn half way up her legs. She hadn't really gotten much sleep last night, and her eyes refused to open because of the sunlight that danced before her eyes, making everything in front of her appear brighter, even with her eyes closed.
She sighed tiredly and rolled over again, taking in another deep breath. The aroma of blueberry pancakes filled the air and she squinted her eyes as she carefully pulled them open. Kagome's eyes remained half-closed as her body pulled itself up higher and she stared blankly at the wall before her. Wasn't she supposed to do something...?
There was a light thud as her head collided against the soft pillow and she ringed her arms around it carefully, trying to relax again. Her dark eyes had fallen closed once again, praying for a few winks that she unfortunately lacked. She breathed in slowly, trying to fall into a peaceful slumber and force out all the thoughts that clouded her mind endlessly.
Inuyasha...Inuyasha...Inuyasha...Inu-NO!
Her body shot up in a hurry and she took in long breaths, trying to calm down her pounding heart. Kagome forcefully pressed a shaky hand over her heart and felt the sudden thumping emit from it darkly. She felt cold tears brim at the corner of her eyes and swiped the back of her hand against it self-consciously. Her dark eyebrows drew together without her noticing, and the ends of her eyes burned with a rush of heated pain.
Everything was still fresh, that was ok...
She swallowed roughly; it would just take a little while to get used to. She would do it, she was strong. She wasn't about to let some guy walk all over her and defeat her like this, especially a man that she didn't love anymore! Kagome was brave; she wouldn't avoid him, or be scared to deal with him head-on. No! She was not like that. She was...hungry.
She broke out in a wry smile, although it was a small one. A very, small one. A sudden itch crawled up her leg and she forcefully dug her nails into it in order to get rid of it.
"Kagome! Breakfast is getting cold – hurry up!" Her mother's calm and slightly raised voice rung through her room and forced an answer out of her.
"I'm coming." She called back swiftly, glad that her voice didn't waver or hint any signs of depression.
She sighed, as if letting loose all her distraught feelings and sunk her face into her hands, feeling the strands of her smooth hair fall through the slight slits her hands left. Kagome breathed into her hands for a few seconds before lifting her head back up with a look of fatigue that dripped from her features.
"I won't feel like this forever..." She breathed.
Picking herself up, she trotted off to the bathroom to get ready for the day, despite that sinking feeling her stomach began to harbour.
**
"Good morning sweetheart." Her mother called cheerily as she found her daughter's figure quietly make its way into her vision.
"Hi mom." She called back softly, as if her throat was beginning to tighten up. She tried to muster up a petty smile for her mother, but it was no use, it just succeeded in making her look even more miserable.
Great.
Her mother however didn't take much notice to it, and Kagome wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse about it. Her stomach began to rumble, and she closed a hand over it, in hopes to calm it down slightly. It didn't work.
Ms.Higurashi smiled pleasantly, while setting down a plate full of blueberry pancakes, just waiting to be consumed by Kagome's hungry lips. She took a seat carelessly at her usual spot, across from Souta, and watched as her mother poured some of her favourite syrup on her plate.
The thick, almost transparent liquid gushed all over her fluffy pancakes as the sweet aroma of the food fogged up her senses.
'Fluffy,' She thought to herself, 'just like Inuyasha's ears...'
Kagome didn't even scold herself for that thought, it just seemed so normal...
"I'm sorry about last night," Her mother said hurriedly, turning the container of maple syrup slightly to the right so that the last drops fell at a paced speed and blended carefully with the rest of the substance. "we really didn't mean to stay out that late. Oh, Souta, would you like some more pancakes?"
Kagome turned her attention to her little brother, and she watched his little head rise higher to meet their mother's gaze. A fork was positioned lightly in his grip, turning upwards and holding bits of his food. His creamy cheeks were blown out a little as miniscule substances of the fluffy bread remained in his mouth.
Kagome watched as his teeth pressed together and Souta swallowed it, "Nah mom, I'm full." He turned his head back to the rest of his meal, before pulling his gaze back up again, "Thanks anyway," He added as an afterthought.
He didn't even spare her a glance.
It felt like another blow being shot at her, and maybe Kagome was being a little melodramatic, but her shoulders slumped forward in the slightest bit as she fixated her eyes on the patterns on the table. They looked like small dogs.
'Just like Inuyasha.' She caught herself thinking about him again, and let out a battered breath.
It didn't even occur to her that the patterns on the tables were actually flowers...
"Kagome?" Her mother called to her lovingly. Maybe she finally took notice to her withering mood.
Her hazy eyes met her mother's attentive glance as a response. Her throat felt like it was starting to tighten again.
After a few moments of silence her mother took a few steps towards her, "Is something the matter dear?"
'Yes.' She thought loosely.
"You're not eating your breakfast." She noted before glancing down at her empty hands. "Silly me, I forgot to give you a fork and knife."
Kagome stared dumbfounded.
She quickly turned around and grabbed two silver utensils before placing them placidly in front of Kagome. They clinked against each other, as her gaze fell upon them crookedly, a gleaming light flashed in her dark eyes, and she raised her arms under her mother's gaze.
Her loose grip was being used to secure the knife and fork into her pancake and as her gaze rest solely on the salt and pepper shakers, no one around her took any notice whatsoever. She could be dead and all her mother would care about would be what she would do with the rest of the pancakes...
Now there was a bitter thought.
Kagome didn't really mean that, she knew her mother would care about her. Maybe it was best that she wasn't being questioned endlessly, at least that way she wouldn't have to go through everything again. She heard the sound of her knife successfully ripping through the pancake and now sliding against the plate a bit roughly, but she didn't pay attention to it.
Her mind was wandering away, while she stared lifelessly at the salt shaker, the white salt shaker...
'White.' Her mind shot at her, 'Like a certain hanyou's hair.'
A flicker of pain flashed through her eyes and she dashed hopelessly for the now cut pancake piece with her fork, before stuffing it into her mouth and chewing on the delicious morsel of food. She began to swallow it, and although she loved her mother's cooking to death, it seemed like had to force it down, and wasn't eating because she wanted to. Her hunger remained, but it the pain seemed to dull slightly.
"Hey sis," Her brother called to her eagerly, injecting a happy voice in her dreary mind.
She looked at him calmly, and waited for him to continue. She assumed he wasn't used to her quiet behaviour and expected her to reply, but she really didn't feel up to it. So instead, she just waited and let the silence linger on further between them.
"Can you pass the pepper?" He questioned, a slight bit of syrup dripping from the side of his lip. He took notice to it and licked it swiftly with his tongue.
She didn't reply, her hand dropped the knife on her plate, and it fell against it making an annoying sound. She gripped the pepper shaker in her unsteady arm and reached over to her brother's side, placing it directly beside his plate. It didn't even hit her that he was about to shake pepper on his pancakes. The only thing her mind was registering was the fact that the pepper was black.
'Black...unlike Inuyasha's hair.'
Any sane person would think she was going crazy, but Kagome didn't give another thought to it, she gave up and let the feelings flow freely in her mind. It was pointless to try and stop it. She would just put more thought into it, and successfully let him take up more of her time.
She wouldn't let him do that. Her shaky hand pulled back and her fingers wrapped tightly against the knife, lifting it off the plate before digging it back into the food. Bit by bit, she consumed it, and less and less did she acknowledge what was going on around her. Kagome's senses began to dull by the time she was through her second pancake.
Her eyes trailed Souta's form as he raced out of the door in the distance, which meant she only had a little while longer until she would have to go to school herself. Kagome's stare fell back on the food before her and she clanked the fork and knife against each other adjacent to the plate, a bit roughly before sliding her chair across the ground, allowing her to stand up.
The running water of the sink muffled those sounds, and Kagome listened quietly to the soft sounds of her mother's humming while picking up the plate with her unsure hands. They ringed around the white platter almost forcefully while walking it to her mother. She set it slowly on the marble- like counter; it was a dark blue colour with bits of black embedded in it.
Kagome found her mind trying to somehow match that with Inuyasha, but she felt very tired, and her mind just gave up after a short period of time, even shorter than usual. Her mother swooped a glance beside her and smiled warmly, "Everything alright dear?"
"Yes" Kagome replied quickly, staring intently at the counter. 'I wish...' she confided in her head.
"You didn't finish your breakfast." Her mother pointed out evenly, raising an eyebrow slightly.
"I wasn't very hungry." She shifted her weight to her left foot.
"Sure didn't sound that way when you first came downstairs." The leftovers of Kagome's breakfast were being placed in another container as she spoke.
"Oh well, I'm not hungry now." She waved off her concern.
"Mm." Ms.Higurashi commented, reaching over to turn the tap off and shake her hands somewhat dry before pressing them tightly against her apron.
She walked over to the table and took a seat while pulling another chair out for her daughter. She patted it softly, "Come here Kagome."
"Mom I have to get to scho-"
"Don't worry, just come here." She called her lightly and Kagome stepped over to her almost warily.
Kagome sat in the seat her mother offered and waited for her mother to speak, while nervously fidgeting with her green skirt. She watched the folds curve in different positions as her hands traveled against them, ruffling them in diverse directions. It wasn't until she heard her mother's soft voice did Kagome lift her head up to stare at her intently.
"Honey, I know there's something upsetting you." Ms.Higurashi started slowly, as if choosing her words carefully. It almost made Kagome feel like a human-bomb, and that if her mother said the wrong words; she would force her daughter to explode. Well, maybe that wasn't so far from the truth, although Kagome rarely ever lost her temper with her mother. Besides, she didn't really feel like talking to anyone today...or tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after...
"And I'm guessing that you don't want to talk about it, because if you did, you would have said something to my by now." Her mother continued, now acting as though she had given this little 'talk' a bit more thought.
Kagome didn't give her any indication that she was correct, not even the slightest nod, but just that tiny glint of pain in her eyes spoke immense volumes.
"But, knowing you, and having been your mother your entire life, I can bet on my life that it's boy trouble..." She seemed to go back to walking on egg shells which forced a flick of annoyance to ring through her left eyebrow. She was being treated like a fragile doll, just because something was upsetting her didn't mean that everyone had to tip-toe around her!
The anger rushed through her, and she darted her mother hotly. She caught on and shifted right back into the thoughtful expression.
"I'm not asking you to tell me." She said quickly, "Unless you really want to. Because you know I'm always here for you, Kagome, and I always will be, whether you want me to be or not."
Those words...
Inuyasha had told her the same thing, that he would always be here. In good times, and in bad. Whenever she couldn't survive a single moment without him, and whenever she couldn't stand his company for any longer than two seconds, keeping in mind that even that would be pushing it. A swirl of emotions hastily ran through her and Kagome bit down hard on her bottom lip as it quivered with hurt.
She lowered her head and felt her heavy bangs clash against each other as she fought back the tears feverously. Kagome could barely hear her mother's voice in the background, but wasn't really listening to what she was saying. Everything hurt so much. At one point, she thought that hurt was just all in your head. That you never really felt it, but it was always there, so you could, because you did, just not in a physical way.
Ok, maybe that wasn't exactly what she thought; it seemed a bit foggier than it did before...
But now...the pain was clearly evident in the pit of her stomach. It burned within her, and it was almost as if she could feel her insides swell up with pain as she breathed in and out roughly.
"Kagome?" Her mother called out clearly, at once catching her attention again.
''Y-yes?" She answered, cursing herself mentally for her shaky-sounding voice.
She heard her mother sigh, and suddenly felt that urge to echo it. "Did you hear what I said?" Ms.Higurashi questioned patiently.
"No..." Kagome answered, her neck beginning to strain a little as tingles of pain shot through it.
She felt a soft hand cup her chin and her watery eyes met squarely with her mother's soft, and worried ones. She smiled softly at her, which warmed Kagome's heart slightly, and she blinked while waiting for her mother to start talking again.
"This is about Inuyasha, isn't it?"
She flinched visibly, and the anger in her rose to a new height, "What? Why would I be upset about that thick, moronic, arrogant jerk? I don't care about him!"
Her mother gave her a crooked glance, and simply waited.
"I don't care if he betrayed me, why should that bother me? I mean, just because we've been friends since as long as I can remember doesn't mean that I would be hurt over the fact that he's been using me for his own personal gain. It's not like I love him or anything, he's not the most important person in my life, he's...he's nothing! He could go die in a ditch for all I care. I hate him! What? Don't look at me like that – I do! I swear that if someone came barging in here right now telling me that Inuyasha had jumped off a cliff and died seconds before he hit the ground because some kind of giant bird began to peck at his heart for several seconds after someone bashed his head in with hard pillows with a name that rhymed with Lakome, I would do nothing but...I would...I w..."
Her voice began to give away and tears dripped from her eyes slowly. Kagome almost instructively fell into her mother's arms, crying into her, while trying to find the strength to finish her last sentence.
"I would...I would die!" She finally admitted, although it was through rigid gaps and violent sobs. "I love him, and he ripped my heart out!" She pressed her head further against her mother's warm shoulder and cried into it forcefully, she had a bit of extra emotion that she needed to get out right about now. Although she took no notice to what she had just said...
"I loved him!" She stressed loved, like she had done with him, "I hurt him, and I ran...I was a coward, but so was he! I can't face him mom...I just can't..." Her body should viciously with pain and hurt, confusion and fear lingering on the sides.
Ms.Higurashi stroked her daughter's hair lovingly, trying to take in everything her daughter was spewing out at an alarming speed. She simply tried to hush her sobs, and reassure her that this pain wouldn't last forever, "It's ok Kagome, everything's going to be ok..."
"How can you say that!?" Kagome questioned, pulling back from her mother's warm embrace, she swiped at her eyes roughly, earning herself a clear shot of her mother before her.
"Because it will." Her mother answered.
"But it won't! Sure Kimaru and Mikaru are gone, Mimaru is too. I'm sure Inuyasha will miss her! With them gone he doesn't have a reason to be tied to me anymore...I'm of no use to him! Worthless, just worthless!" She had told herself this over and over again, that he wouldn't want anything to do with her, although deep down she knew that wasn't true, because he loved her...
"Shhh...I'm sure that's not true." Once again, Kagome lurched in against her mother and broke free of her sobs and worries.
"I do-don't love him, not any- not anymore." She choked out, trying to take in deep breaths.
Her mother didn't say anything about that, and continued to calm her down. "It's ok Kagome. Despite how bad you're feeling right now, it's gonna be alright, you'll see."
She felt her daughter try to pull back slightly, and loosened her grip, allowing her to. She watched Kagome's red eyes being wiped clear of tears and a sad smile play at her lips.
"I really hope so." She said quietly.
"You're going to get through this, honey. You're strong; you can deal with seeing Inuyasha." Ms.Higurashi's voice never wavered, and Kagome found herself believing the same thing. She could go through with this, and she would have to...
"I should get going now..." She told her mother softly, before reaching back into give her a tight hug. "Thanks..." She murmured.
"Anytime." Her mother answered promptly.
**
A*N* Uh, she will go see Inuyasha in the next chapter, and face him...I promise!
Mystical-Maiden: Yes, I did that. Enjoy this chapter.
Battousi Girl: I could reply to everything you said, but we'd just end up going in circles. Love is one of those topics that you could talk about forever. Thank-you, however, for taking the time to look deeper into that.
Kibethan: Right on.
loozer-09: Glad ya found your way back. Yes, I remember you. Enjoy if you find this again ^_^
Pinayazngrl: Thank you.
Raine an Frodo: Eh, maybe this might be considered a cliffy too? **shrugs**
inutikidudez: Aren't we all...
fanfictiongeek36: Yeah, go Inuyasha. He's so cute.
Maria: Thank ya. You'll have to keep reading to find that out though, I can't just give it away :P
A*N* Wow, either I did a really bad job on the last chapter, or people are losing interest. Well, as long as some people are reading it, I'll continue. I've already received way more reviews than I thought I would get, so I'm satisfied. I was thinking about ending it quickly, in the next few chapters...but for what I have planned, I'm not sure that would work out...meh, I'll see.
Oh! And also, I've started another fic called "Never Again." It's going to be much better than this fic, I've made sure of that, or at least I'm working harder and making sure the plot is much thicker and crap. So...as a shameless plug...go read that too! ^_^;
Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will...
**
Kagome groaned into her pillow and began to breathe in the scent of the substance she knew very well as food. Her stomach growled instinctively and she rushed her hand to stroke it softly. Her body was sprawled all over her mattress and her pants were drawn half way up her legs. She hadn't really gotten much sleep last night, and her eyes refused to open because of the sunlight that danced before her eyes, making everything in front of her appear brighter, even with her eyes closed.
She sighed tiredly and rolled over again, taking in another deep breath. The aroma of blueberry pancakes filled the air and she squinted her eyes as she carefully pulled them open. Kagome's eyes remained half-closed as her body pulled itself up higher and she stared blankly at the wall before her. Wasn't she supposed to do something...?
There was a light thud as her head collided against the soft pillow and she ringed her arms around it carefully, trying to relax again. Her dark eyes had fallen closed once again, praying for a few winks that she unfortunately lacked. She breathed in slowly, trying to fall into a peaceful slumber and force out all the thoughts that clouded her mind endlessly.
Inuyasha...Inuyasha...Inuyasha...Inu-NO!
Her body shot up in a hurry and she took in long breaths, trying to calm down her pounding heart. Kagome forcefully pressed a shaky hand over her heart and felt the sudden thumping emit from it darkly. She felt cold tears brim at the corner of her eyes and swiped the back of her hand against it self-consciously. Her dark eyebrows drew together without her noticing, and the ends of her eyes burned with a rush of heated pain.
Everything was still fresh, that was ok...
She swallowed roughly; it would just take a little while to get used to. She would do it, she was strong. She wasn't about to let some guy walk all over her and defeat her like this, especially a man that she didn't love anymore! Kagome was brave; she wouldn't avoid him, or be scared to deal with him head-on. No! She was not like that. She was...hungry.
She broke out in a wry smile, although it was a small one. A very, small one. A sudden itch crawled up her leg and she forcefully dug her nails into it in order to get rid of it.
"Kagome! Breakfast is getting cold – hurry up!" Her mother's calm and slightly raised voice rung through her room and forced an answer out of her.
"I'm coming." She called back swiftly, glad that her voice didn't waver or hint any signs of depression.
She sighed, as if letting loose all her distraught feelings and sunk her face into her hands, feeling the strands of her smooth hair fall through the slight slits her hands left. Kagome breathed into her hands for a few seconds before lifting her head back up with a look of fatigue that dripped from her features.
"I won't feel like this forever..." She breathed.
Picking herself up, she trotted off to the bathroom to get ready for the day, despite that sinking feeling her stomach began to harbour.
**
"Good morning sweetheart." Her mother called cheerily as she found her daughter's figure quietly make its way into her vision.
"Hi mom." She called back softly, as if her throat was beginning to tighten up. She tried to muster up a petty smile for her mother, but it was no use, it just succeeded in making her look even more miserable.
Great.
Her mother however didn't take much notice to it, and Kagome wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse about it. Her stomach began to rumble, and she closed a hand over it, in hopes to calm it down slightly. It didn't work.
Ms.Higurashi smiled pleasantly, while setting down a plate full of blueberry pancakes, just waiting to be consumed by Kagome's hungry lips. She took a seat carelessly at her usual spot, across from Souta, and watched as her mother poured some of her favourite syrup on her plate.
The thick, almost transparent liquid gushed all over her fluffy pancakes as the sweet aroma of the food fogged up her senses.
'Fluffy,' She thought to herself, 'just like Inuyasha's ears...'
Kagome didn't even scold herself for that thought, it just seemed so normal...
"I'm sorry about last night," Her mother said hurriedly, turning the container of maple syrup slightly to the right so that the last drops fell at a paced speed and blended carefully with the rest of the substance. "we really didn't mean to stay out that late. Oh, Souta, would you like some more pancakes?"
Kagome turned her attention to her little brother, and she watched his little head rise higher to meet their mother's gaze. A fork was positioned lightly in his grip, turning upwards and holding bits of his food. His creamy cheeks were blown out a little as miniscule substances of the fluffy bread remained in his mouth.
Kagome watched as his teeth pressed together and Souta swallowed it, "Nah mom, I'm full." He turned his head back to the rest of his meal, before pulling his gaze back up again, "Thanks anyway," He added as an afterthought.
He didn't even spare her a glance.
It felt like another blow being shot at her, and maybe Kagome was being a little melodramatic, but her shoulders slumped forward in the slightest bit as she fixated her eyes on the patterns on the table. They looked like small dogs.
'Just like Inuyasha.' She caught herself thinking about him again, and let out a battered breath.
It didn't even occur to her that the patterns on the tables were actually flowers...
"Kagome?" Her mother called to her lovingly. Maybe she finally took notice to her withering mood.
Her hazy eyes met her mother's attentive glance as a response. Her throat felt like it was starting to tighten again.
After a few moments of silence her mother took a few steps towards her, "Is something the matter dear?"
'Yes.' She thought loosely.
"You're not eating your breakfast." She noted before glancing down at her empty hands. "Silly me, I forgot to give you a fork and knife."
Kagome stared dumbfounded.
She quickly turned around and grabbed two silver utensils before placing them placidly in front of Kagome. They clinked against each other, as her gaze fell upon them crookedly, a gleaming light flashed in her dark eyes, and she raised her arms under her mother's gaze.
Her loose grip was being used to secure the knife and fork into her pancake and as her gaze rest solely on the salt and pepper shakers, no one around her took any notice whatsoever. She could be dead and all her mother would care about would be what she would do with the rest of the pancakes...
Now there was a bitter thought.
Kagome didn't really mean that, she knew her mother would care about her. Maybe it was best that she wasn't being questioned endlessly, at least that way she wouldn't have to go through everything again. She heard the sound of her knife successfully ripping through the pancake and now sliding against the plate a bit roughly, but she didn't pay attention to it.
Her mind was wandering away, while she stared lifelessly at the salt shaker, the white salt shaker...
'White.' Her mind shot at her, 'Like a certain hanyou's hair.'
A flicker of pain flashed through her eyes and she dashed hopelessly for the now cut pancake piece with her fork, before stuffing it into her mouth and chewing on the delicious morsel of food. She began to swallow it, and although she loved her mother's cooking to death, it seemed like had to force it down, and wasn't eating because she wanted to. Her hunger remained, but it the pain seemed to dull slightly.
"Hey sis," Her brother called to her eagerly, injecting a happy voice in her dreary mind.
She looked at him calmly, and waited for him to continue. She assumed he wasn't used to her quiet behaviour and expected her to reply, but she really didn't feel up to it. So instead, she just waited and let the silence linger on further between them.
"Can you pass the pepper?" He questioned, a slight bit of syrup dripping from the side of his lip. He took notice to it and licked it swiftly with his tongue.
She didn't reply, her hand dropped the knife on her plate, and it fell against it making an annoying sound. She gripped the pepper shaker in her unsteady arm and reached over to her brother's side, placing it directly beside his plate. It didn't even hit her that he was about to shake pepper on his pancakes. The only thing her mind was registering was the fact that the pepper was black.
'Black...unlike Inuyasha's hair.'
Any sane person would think she was going crazy, but Kagome didn't give another thought to it, she gave up and let the feelings flow freely in her mind. It was pointless to try and stop it. She would just put more thought into it, and successfully let him take up more of her time.
She wouldn't let him do that. Her shaky hand pulled back and her fingers wrapped tightly against the knife, lifting it off the plate before digging it back into the food. Bit by bit, she consumed it, and less and less did she acknowledge what was going on around her. Kagome's senses began to dull by the time she was through her second pancake.
Her eyes trailed Souta's form as he raced out of the door in the distance, which meant she only had a little while longer until she would have to go to school herself. Kagome's stare fell back on the food before her and she clanked the fork and knife against each other adjacent to the plate, a bit roughly before sliding her chair across the ground, allowing her to stand up.
The running water of the sink muffled those sounds, and Kagome listened quietly to the soft sounds of her mother's humming while picking up the plate with her unsure hands. They ringed around the white platter almost forcefully while walking it to her mother. She set it slowly on the marble- like counter; it was a dark blue colour with bits of black embedded in it.
Kagome found her mind trying to somehow match that with Inuyasha, but she felt very tired, and her mind just gave up after a short period of time, even shorter than usual. Her mother swooped a glance beside her and smiled warmly, "Everything alright dear?"
"Yes" Kagome replied quickly, staring intently at the counter. 'I wish...' she confided in her head.
"You didn't finish your breakfast." Her mother pointed out evenly, raising an eyebrow slightly.
"I wasn't very hungry." She shifted her weight to her left foot.
"Sure didn't sound that way when you first came downstairs." The leftovers of Kagome's breakfast were being placed in another container as she spoke.
"Oh well, I'm not hungry now." She waved off her concern.
"Mm." Ms.Higurashi commented, reaching over to turn the tap off and shake her hands somewhat dry before pressing them tightly against her apron.
She walked over to the table and took a seat while pulling another chair out for her daughter. She patted it softly, "Come here Kagome."
"Mom I have to get to scho-"
"Don't worry, just come here." She called her lightly and Kagome stepped over to her almost warily.
Kagome sat in the seat her mother offered and waited for her mother to speak, while nervously fidgeting with her green skirt. She watched the folds curve in different positions as her hands traveled against them, ruffling them in diverse directions. It wasn't until she heard her mother's soft voice did Kagome lift her head up to stare at her intently.
"Honey, I know there's something upsetting you." Ms.Higurashi started slowly, as if choosing her words carefully. It almost made Kagome feel like a human-bomb, and that if her mother said the wrong words; she would force her daughter to explode. Well, maybe that wasn't so far from the truth, although Kagome rarely ever lost her temper with her mother. Besides, she didn't really feel like talking to anyone today...or tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after...
"And I'm guessing that you don't want to talk about it, because if you did, you would have said something to my by now." Her mother continued, now acting as though she had given this little 'talk' a bit more thought.
Kagome didn't give her any indication that she was correct, not even the slightest nod, but just that tiny glint of pain in her eyes spoke immense volumes.
"But, knowing you, and having been your mother your entire life, I can bet on my life that it's boy trouble..." She seemed to go back to walking on egg shells which forced a flick of annoyance to ring through her left eyebrow. She was being treated like a fragile doll, just because something was upsetting her didn't mean that everyone had to tip-toe around her!
The anger rushed through her, and she darted her mother hotly. She caught on and shifted right back into the thoughtful expression.
"I'm not asking you to tell me." She said quickly, "Unless you really want to. Because you know I'm always here for you, Kagome, and I always will be, whether you want me to be or not."
Those words...
Inuyasha had told her the same thing, that he would always be here. In good times, and in bad. Whenever she couldn't survive a single moment without him, and whenever she couldn't stand his company for any longer than two seconds, keeping in mind that even that would be pushing it. A swirl of emotions hastily ran through her and Kagome bit down hard on her bottom lip as it quivered with hurt.
She lowered her head and felt her heavy bangs clash against each other as she fought back the tears feverously. Kagome could barely hear her mother's voice in the background, but wasn't really listening to what she was saying. Everything hurt so much. At one point, she thought that hurt was just all in your head. That you never really felt it, but it was always there, so you could, because you did, just not in a physical way.
Ok, maybe that wasn't exactly what she thought; it seemed a bit foggier than it did before...
But now...the pain was clearly evident in the pit of her stomach. It burned within her, and it was almost as if she could feel her insides swell up with pain as she breathed in and out roughly.
"Kagome?" Her mother called out clearly, at once catching her attention again.
''Y-yes?" She answered, cursing herself mentally for her shaky-sounding voice.
She heard her mother sigh, and suddenly felt that urge to echo it. "Did you hear what I said?" Ms.Higurashi questioned patiently.
"No..." Kagome answered, her neck beginning to strain a little as tingles of pain shot through it.
She felt a soft hand cup her chin and her watery eyes met squarely with her mother's soft, and worried ones. She smiled softly at her, which warmed Kagome's heart slightly, and she blinked while waiting for her mother to start talking again.
"This is about Inuyasha, isn't it?"
She flinched visibly, and the anger in her rose to a new height, "What? Why would I be upset about that thick, moronic, arrogant jerk? I don't care about him!"
Her mother gave her a crooked glance, and simply waited.
"I don't care if he betrayed me, why should that bother me? I mean, just because we've been friends since as long as I can remember doesn't mean that I would be hurt over the fact that he's been using me for his own personal gain. It's not like I love him or anything, he's not the most important person in my life, he's...he's nothing! He could go die in a ditch for all I care. I hate him! What? Don't look at me like that – I do! I swear that if someone came barging in here right now telling me that Inuyasha had jumped off a cliff and died seconds before he hit the ground because some kind of giant bird began to peck at his heart for several seconds after someone bashed his head in with hard pillows with a name that rhymed with Lakome, I would do nothing but...I would...I w..."
Her voice began to give away and tears dripped from her eyes slowly. Kagome almost instructively fell into her mother's arms, crying into her, while trying to find the strength to finish her last sentence.
"I would...I would die!" She finally admitted, although it was through rigid gaps and violent sobs. "I love him, and he ripped my heart out!" She pressed her head further against her mother's warm shoulder and cried into it forcefully, she had a bit of extra emotion that she needed to get out right about now. Although she took no notice to what she had just said...
"I loved him!" She stressed loved, like she had done with him, "I hurt him, and I ran...I was a coward, but so was he! I can't face him mom...I just can't..." Her body should viciously with pain and hurt, confusion and fear lingering on the sides.
Ms.Higurashi stroked her daughter's hair lovingly, trying to take in everything her daughter was spewing out at an alarming speed. She simply tried to hush her sobs, and reassure her that this pain wouldn't last forever, "It's ok Kagome, everything's going to be ok..."
"How can you say that!?" Kagome questioned, pulling back from her mother's warm embrace, she swiped at her eyes roughly, earning herself a clear shot of her mother before her.
"Because it will." Her mother answered.
"But it won't! Sure Kimaru and Mikaru are gone, Mimaru is too. I'm sure Inuyasha will miss her! With them gone he doesn't have a reason to be tied to me anymore...I'm of no use to him! Worthless, just worthless!" She had told herself this over and over again, that he wouldn't want anything to do with her, although deep down she knew that wasn't true, because he loved her...
"Shhh...I'm sure that's not true." Once again, Kagome lurched in against her mother and broke free of her sobs and worries.
"I do-don't love him, not any- not anymore." She choked out, trying to take in deep breaths.
Her mother didn't say anything about that, and continued to calm her down. "It's ok Kagome. Despite how bad you're feeling right now, it's gonna be alright, you'll see."
She felt her daughter try to pull back slightly, and loosened her grip, allowing her to. She watched Kagome's red eyes being wiped clear of tears and a sad smile play at her lips.
"I really hope so." She said quietly.
"You're going to get through this, honey. You're strong; you can deal with seeing Inuyasha." Ms.Higurashi's voice never wavered, and Kagome found herself believing the same thing. She could go through with this, and she would have to...
"I should get going now..." She told her mother softly, before reaching back into give her a tight hug. "Thanks..." She murmured.
"Anytime." Her mother answered promptly.
**
A*N* Uh, she will go see Inuyasha in the next chapter, and face him...I promise!