Reviews
deppfan1016: Don't we all...don't we all.
Zanisha: Aww...you reviewed all my chapters!! Many mwahs! :)))))
kaginu=love: No, they will never, I repeat, NEVER get together! [pauses] I kidd, I kidd. Keep reading to find out! :)
crystal: Aww, thank you! Hope you enjoy the chapter.
remix-69er: Not things! [cringes] Anything but things!
laku: Yeah, man! I update so quick. The month just flew right by. Enjoy the chapter!
Kibethan: Done and done...I think.
.......: Love your name. Hehe. And thanks, that was fun to write.
inutikidudez: You're telling me....
IYWriterGirl: S'okie cookie!
animekraze: Neverrr!! Well, I don't think this is a cliffy. O.o;
Inferna: Mwuah...ahah...ahahahhahah!
Yusukes gurl Keiko: AWWWwwwwWWwwwWWwwwWWW! Wow, sounds like I'm having an orgasm or something...anyway!! Thank you very much, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
fanfictiongeek36: Patients is a virtue. [winks] But ah...screw virtues! Enjoy!
AN Ah! Finally an update. . Well, I do have something special from the last chapter. I was reading it over again, and the last line just inspired me to draw something. So here it is. OMFG! I lost it...so I had to draw another one. Gah! The things I do for you people!!
Copy and paste this link and delete the spaces between.
h t t p : w w w . g - a u t h o r i t y . c o m / p v / t p p c 1 3 . j p g
You might have to save it so it doesn't come out so blurry and messed, but yes. There it is! And uh, I know she looks like she's falling to the left, but that's because the paper was like that, and I'm too lazy to take another pic of it, so bleh!! And enjoy the chapter. Oh and, I was too lazy to edit it, so if there are any mistakes..my apologies.
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The time continued to tick and pass by with ease as she thought more and more about it. She was so sure before everything with Kimaru and Mikaru had occurred that her heart belonged to Inuyasha and that he was the man...er, the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
She took another deep breath and blew it out forcefully, puffing her cheeks as she did so. Kagome knew Inuyasha was awaiting an answer, but he just had to be patient, this wasn't as easy as it seemed. She couldn't just tell him she loved him when she might have fallen out of love. On the other hand, she couldn't just repeat her previous remarks and tell him she didn't love him because well...what if she did?
She didn't want to give up someone she loved just because she was pressured into making a decision in a matter of seconds.
Her dark eyes found their way to glance at him shortly, and a yelp almost escaped her when her heart skipped a beat after seeing that he was already staring quite fondly at her. Kagome's eyes pressed firmly together as she leaned her head against the rough bark of the tree.
Her heart calmed down somewhat, although it sped up a little because she knew he was watching her carefully, but it didn't really bother her or make her nervous, at least, that's what she felt like.
Which was weird...
Inuyasha wasn't making her feel uneasy, the fact that his eyes couldn't break away from her figure almost made her feel good...
He was definitely intent on hearing her words, the sound of her voice even. The thought tugged a smile at her lips because it made her feel wanted.
He made her feel wanted...
Did that mean she loved him?
No...simply enjoying his attention didn't spell out love, there had to be something more, but what else was there?
She tried to think back to what he said earlier, and she allowed the beats of his voice to play back calmly in her ears. She loved the sound of his voice. He reminded her of her efforts to protect him, and to shield him from pain. Despite the fact that she didn't want to admit it, it was definitely out of genuine concern. Her mind rushed to a decision when she realized his life was in danger, and that decision was that she needed to help him not matter what.
She risked her very life to protect him...
Kagome knew she cared about him, that had proved it.
Was it enough to love him though?
"Look inside you then. Listen to your heart."
His words brushed past her ears unexpectedly. How was she supposed to look inside her? Did she have a sign on her heart that told her if she loved Inuyasha or not? She certainly didn't see it this morning when she was getting dressed for school. Maybe she had to go to a doctor and get it checked out. Yes, professional help...that was the way to go!
She could simply walk into her doctor's office and say, "Hi! There's this guy I know that I thought I loved, and he kinda stabbed me in the back so I think I fell out of love with him, but I'm not sure. I talked to him just recent...what? Oh yeah, he's waiting outside for me, right there, yes, the one with the hat. No, not the one wearing the kilt, the other one beside him. Anyway, he told me that I should look inside myself, and inside my heart, but I can't do that. So I was wondering if you could look inside me and see if I love him or not, if it wouldn't be too much trouble. Thanks"
They would only look at her weird and probably commit her to an asylum for a physiatrist evaluation, no biggie. That would at least give her some more time to think about this...
"Kagome?"
Her eyes flapped open at the note of her voice being played by his voice. The expression on his face told her that he was starving for an answer, but not just any...a specific answer. One that would bring him joy and allow him to be with her for the rest of their lives...
But Kagome still couldn't decide if she did feel the same way for him as he did for her. The answer just wasn't there...
"Inuyasha..." She whispered his name and stared at him squarely.
"Have you decided?" He asked as patiently as he could, although you could see the anxiousness dripping from his features.
She shook her head, "I need more time...this is going to take a lot of thinking. I need to think it thoroughly and make sure I make the right decision, I don't want to screw it up..."
Her eyes appeared pleading as she gave him an intent stare. A few different flush of feelings passed through him but he stood tall. He gave her a small smile, composing his words carefully, "Take all the time you need."
He sounded angry, but he really wasn't. A little disappointed maybe, but not angry. He was thankful that she was even giving this thing a second thought. Kagome bit her lip, suddenly feeling a little awkward. Inuyasha launched forward, "Do you want me to walk you to class?" He offered, and suddenly felt like that annoying kid Hojo..
Kagome smiled though, even if it was faint and stared at him for a little while before answering, "Sure..."
She took the first initiative and walked ahead of him to her class, because it took him a second to inhale the fact that she said yes. Inuyasha staggered behind her for a few seconds before he stumbled beside her. Their conversation was silent, to say the least. It basically consisted of Inuyasha glancing at her for a few seconds before she felt his eyes on her, then her turning and staring at him before he looked at her again.
But at least they were back to being friends again. She linked her arms through his and leaned against his shoulder, "Inuyasha..."
"Mhmm?" He answered calmly.
"I think I do love you..."
(Yeah...right! Let's try this again and see the REAL version. Damn, I've been watching Passions too much...I think I did this before too! I'm sorry purples, this is the last time, I swear! [innocent look])
"Have you decided?" He asked as patiently as he could, although you could see the anxiousness dripping from his features.
She shook her head, "I need more time...this is going to take a lot of thinking. I need to think it thoroughly and make sure I make the right decision, I don't want to screw it up..."
"Why do you need more time?" He questioned, a frown almost making its way on his brow.
"Because I don't want to mess this up!" She answered back, getting a little defensive.
"How hard can it be? Either you love me, or you don't." He paused for a while as his own words sunk into his ears, "But I know you do!"
"You can't make my decision for me, you dolt."
"Well I might as well, seeing as how you'll probably make the wrong decision."
"Where do you get off saying that? This is my decision, not yours!"
"It's an easy choice to make, why do you have to take so long to decide?"
He was obviously upset, but he just couldn't take waiting any longer. He knew she loved him...why didn't she?
"You're really not helping yourself any by being so pushy you know!" She told him seriously, crossing her arms over her chest while giving him a menacing glare.
"Well I'm sorry, but you're not exactly being very considerate of MY feelings." He scowled back, mimicking her movements almost in a mocking way...
"I cannot believe you just said that." She told him seriously, her hands falling down to her sides.
"But it's true! How do you think I feel?" He asked her carefully, once again mimicking her movements.
"You?! What about me! You were the one that deceived me and lied to me all this time! How do you expect me to feel?" Kagome countered.
"I thought you'd get over it by now, but what else do I expect from a woman? God, you really know how to hold a grudge, don't you."
Suffice to say, his mouth was working faster than his mind right then...
"If you feel that way then why don't you go after a man! I'm sure he'll forgive you!"
"That's ok, I don't swing that way. But maybe I could find a woman who doesn't take so damn long to say yes to an obvious question!"
Anger seeped through her facial expression and she turned red.
"I thought you loved me!"
"I do, but if you're gonna be so damn bitchy about it then maybe I should just find someone else."
Hurt swept her up, but she allowed only anger to show.
"Fine! Go ahead then!"
His postured faltered slightly, but he regained it quickly, allowing his pride to swallow him whole. Past all that egotisticness, he knew she was the only woman he could ever want to be with. Bitchy or not.
"I will! And I know just the perfect one to go after too." He boasted.
"So do I." She said in an equal tone, trying to size up to him, but failing miserably.
"Really? Who?" He inquired.
"Ryu!" She said, almost proudly.
Almost...
"What? I'm not gay!" He protested rather loudly.
This forced her to roll her eyes, "Not for you dumbass, for me!"
"Oh so I'm a dumbass now? Wait...you're not serious are you!?" He prodded further, feeling the regret of his words begin to rise in him.
"Yes, you are a dumbass!"
"Not about that!" He shook his head at her, "About Ryu!"
His eyes narrowed at her, and she could have sworn she saw worry flush through them.
But why not?
He put her in danger on purpose just to protect himself.
"Yeah, what's the problem?" She asked, unconsciously turning away from him.
Kagome knew what the problem was, but if Inuyasha was going to find someone else, then she would too. After all, she knew that Ryu was still pining after her...
"That guy's an idiot!" Inuyasha growled, allowing his fangs to glint against the sun that crawled through the shaky leaves.
"So who do you have in mind for yourself?" She asked, ignoring his previous comment, possibly because she knew he was right.
"Kikyo..." He answered coolly, despite the fact that the answer even sounded stupid to his ears...
Why did things always sound better in your head?
"Hah! If you think Ryu's an idiot, what does that make Kikyo?!" Kagome laughed slightly.
"Shut up! At least she's not putting me in any danger."
"No, you're doing that on your own just by getting involved with her."
"Arg, Kagome! You're not getting with Ryu." He advanced forward to her with two strides.
She edged back closer to the tree and swallowed, "Why the hell not?"
"Because!" He shouted, halfway throwing his hands up in the air, "I forbid it!"
"Thanks dad." She said with several batches of sarcasm.
Her eyes darted to the side, for some reason she just couldn't look up at him and into those molten eyes...
He didn't give her much of a voice however, when he burrowed his hands over her shoulders and turned her so she would look at him squarely in the eye. The hardened glare he wore quickly melted into a much more loving look, with regret shaded in. Her own eyes shook with a sense of...of...something.
"You are kidding, right?" He asked smoothly, and very carefully. Inuyasha's voice had flown down to a much lower voice that made her want to simply closer her eyes and all his words to wash over her. When she didn't answer him, and continued to stare with a dazed look, he spoke again, and it almost seemed as though his voice was threatening to crack under the silence.
"You can't leave me for Ryu...not for anyone." His look never wavered, but she felt his grip on her shoulders loosen and the seconds continued to flick by.
"I'm not exactly yours in the first place, Inuyasha..." She told him quietly, dropping her gaze to his feet. She never realized it before, but he had damn nice shoes. Kagome found herself wondering if they came in her size, and quickly made a mental note to ask him...when this was all over with, of course.
She heard him sigh, and raised her gaze to find his a little more distant, but his eyes still rested on her figure. He just couldn't bring himself to tear away...
"Besides," She continued when the silence stretched, "I thought you were gonna get together with Kikyo. After all, she can't be as bitchy as I am, right?" Her look suddenly became ice cold.
He shrugged indifferently, "You know I was just kidding about that, you're the only person for me."
She hadn't expected him to say that...
His arms dropped from her shoulders and Inuyasha stuffed one into his pocket, waiting for her to answer him. When she didn't he kept talking, "Besides, I doubt I could stand staying with her for a long period of time. She would probably package me away in her room or something." His grin reappeared and it forced her to smile gently...
A slight breeze shifted through the area around them, and the two teenagers found their gazes drifting off to other things, but their minds stuck on each other.
Inuyasha was taking in the moment of actually being here with him. If he could convince her that she loved him, then he could spend the rest of his life with him. He could make her happy, and he could be happy himself with her presence and soft words. If she said that she didn't love him, then he would be forced to live a life without her, a life without anyone...
He pressed his eyes closed and shook that thought out of his head.
Kagome couldn't harbor any other thoughts besides the choice he was asking her to make.
Did she love him, or not?
The answer still didn't shout out in her mind, and she sighed to herself mentally, knowing that she needed more time. Kagome turned her dark eyes to look at Inuyasha, and she found his eyes were firmly pressed close, she wondered why. He was probably thinking about her decision though...what else?
If she said yes, then they could live together and never have to be apart. Inuyasha wouldn't be alone and he would always have her to count on. If she said no, however, then he would be forced to live a life without her and without anyone that really cared about him. She would be the third woman in his life that he loved, and was forced to lose.
All three losses would be connected to Kimaru and Mikaru, in one way or another. They had been the ones to kill his parents, his mother...the first woman that loved him unconditionally. She didn't have any expectations for him, and she must have loved him the way any parent would love their child. With all of their heart and nothing less.
Mimaru had been the two evil brother's sister, and she had loved Inuyasha like the son she never had, just as he thought of her as the mother that she lost. The second woman in his life he grew to care for, and the second woman that loved him just for who he was. She didn't look for anything more, or ever push him to be anything else but himself. She stood by him to the very end, and it was because of her that he was alive right now, actually, the reason both of them were breathing. If she hadn't come to their rescue, Kimaru and Mikaru surely would have sent them six feet under...
So, in a way...Mimaru gave Inuyasha a chance at being truly happy for once in his life.
And then there was her. She was the best friend that Inuyasha was almost forced to have, yet couldn't help but love. His relationship with her was something he had to develop, if he ever wanted to see his parents again, but that was just false hope that he was fed. There was just no way she could bring anyone back from the dead.
Her mother had always said that she had some kind of special power...but that was when she was five and she complained about now being able to fight evil like Sailor Moon. She shook her head lazily.
What if there was some kind of special power inside of her that she never knew of. Kagome was brought up in a shrine, and she always felt like there was a reason to that. Almost as if it radiated some kind of special ability that she could use. But how? How could she do that?
Kimaru and Mikaru told Inuyasha that she was to blame for his parents' death, and that she would go on to do even more harm if she continued to live. Were they right? Did she manifest such power?
All this thinking suddenly got too much for her and she broke out of the trace and looked back up at Inuyasha. If she left him, she would be the third, and perhaps the last woman that he could count on in his life. The last woman he would ever truly love. He would be all alone, because it's not like her really had anyone else that he could turn to...
Her heart began to twitch with a sudden pain that continued to grow as more thoughts of Inuyasha being alone and unhappy clouded her senses. She really didn't want him to be unhappy, she wanted him to be bursting with life, and sarcasm. Kagome wanted him to enjoy life to the fullest and do everything he ever dreamed or set out to do. She wished she could do that, make him happy like that...
Did THAT mean she loved him?
Her head spun. Kagome obviously had genuine feelings for him, she cared for his wellbeing and his happiness...but was it just as a friend, or did these feelings cross over the line into love?
She definitely needed more time to think...
"Kagome?" She listened to Inuyasha speak again, and she turned to him to let him know he had her undivided attention.
"Class is gonna start soon," He stated, finding his gaze to be a little racy as it refused to stop on her. "and I think...that you should take all the time you need because," Inuyasha paused again, and Kagome guessed this wasn't very easy for him to say, so she waited patently for him to continue, "I want you to make the right decision. I want you to choose what will make you happy, not me. Your happiness means more to than anything and I; I don't want to force anything on you..."
He took a deep breath here, before continuing, "Just remember that I love you with all of my heart, and that I will despite what your decision is. I really think that you're the one for me, but I can't force you to share those feelings. The only thing I can do is hope you find in your heart that you love me too. So just...take your time. I'll wait as long as you need..."
Inuyasha glanced back at her to see her reaction, but before he could get a second worth of her, she jumped into his arms and embraced him in a hug. He allowed his arms to wrap around her small frame and hold her close to him. His eyes fell closed together and he took in the whole situation and her presence as one.
"That was one of the sweetest things I've ever heard come out of your mouth..." She told him seriously.
"I know, and now my mouth feels all icky, like I ate a bag full of sugar or something, ugh!" He said, holding onto her.
"Oh shush, you'll ruin the moment. But about what you said, I do need more time...there are a lot of things that I need to consider..." She allowed herself to relax against him.
"Like?" He questioned.
"Like if I love you or Ry...er...someone else." She bit her tongue, hoping she didn't just say the one name that would ruin his attitude.
There was a long silence that stretched before he pulled back to stare at her. Inuysaha forced a little smile, although it appeared very gloomy, which wasn't very reassuring. "Take all the time you need..."
She allowed herself to crack into a smile before he spoke again.
"But not too long cause that's just crazy, and I don't wanna wait that long. OW! What was that for?" He asked, rubbing the back of his head.
"For being an ass. Anyway, I'll have my answer as soon as possible..."
"Like tomorrow?"
"I don't know."
"End of the day at the latest!"
"Inuyasha!"
"What?"
"You can't time me like that. Not after you just told me to take my time."
"Fine, fine."
They listened to the sound of the bell ring, indicating that their first class was about to begin. Without another word, they walked side by side to the school.
"But seriously, tomorrow at the latest. OW!! 'Omeeeeeee..."
"Don't 'Ome me!"
Kagome smiled as she walked in front of Inuyasha..
Maybe the answer wouldn't be so hard to find...
"Fine!" He growled before muttering something about violent woman.
On second thought...
"I'll show you violent woman!"
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AN: Whoo! So glad to be finished that chapter, it was actually quite hard for me to write. xP And I bet it sucked. Eek! Well, there's only one or two more chapters left, depending on how lazy I feel or not. =P Or maybe I should ask you guys? Review telling me if you want it to be a little longer or not. After all, you are the readers. .