S: no ramblings today, just on with the story!
Disclaimer: Don't own whimpers but I wish I did. Only character mine is Andrew Dairer, and he isn't even there.
WARNING: male x male relationship, if you don't like it please, for the sake of mix matched socks don't read it.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
"He loves me ... he loves me not." With the word not a shiver went through the pale figure sitting in the hospital bed. Bloodless fingers plucked the smooth white petals off the daisy stem.
"He loves me." another petal fluttered down into the growing pile on the tangled blankets.
"He loves me not." The figures fingers shook as another petal was plucked and released.
"He loves me." the last petal was plucked carefully off the now bare stem. A sigh escaped Tom's lips and he fell back into the pillows a small smile on his lips.
"Tom." The name was stressed. "Is not ready to have visitors yet!"
"How can you cover up for the Dark Lord?!" A voice hissed full of anger.
"He is not the Dark Lord!" a third voice replied remorse. "I wish you would realize that Mr Fudge."
Tom closed his eyes as he tried to block the argument out of his mind. The three voices were Albus Dumbledore, Cornelius Fudge and Harry Potter respectively.
"He tried to kill you multiple times!!!" Fudge's voice grew hysterical.
"It wasn't him! How many times do I have to tell you it was Lucius!" Tom shuddered at the Dark Lords name. "Are you so thick and too stupid to have heard of the imperious curse?!"
"Harry!!! Fudge why don't you go have some tea and calm down and Harry come with me."
Tom sighed in relief, his eyes closed as he heard the voice of that irritating man lessen as he walked away. The door clicked open.
"Tom are you awake?" Biting back a sarcastic remark as to how anyone could sleep with the noise outside he replied.
"Yes." The voice was weak and Dumbledore frowned at the daisy petals that littered the floor.
"What's the point of bringing you flowers if you destroy them all?" Dumbledore's wand swished the air and the petals disappeared. Harry snickered.
"Maybe you shouldn't bring him daisies." He picked up a bare stem and twirled it in his fingers. "What did it say?" Tom's lips rose in a barely recognizable smile.
"He loves me."
"Oh really?" Harry faked surprise and grinned at Professor Dumbledore's confused look. "Don't worry sir, just a small joke between us."
The headmaster nodded and turned to Tom. "You've been doing well over the last week. Do you think you're up for another solid meal?"
"We'll soon see." The pale man replied and leaned back eyes half closed watching both his visitors. The silence was rather awkward and was broken by Harry.
"I'll go fetch it for you." Harry grinned as Tom shot him a worried look at the thought of being left alone with the Headmaster. Harry and Albus were the only two people he would allow into his room, and occasionally Severus, who administered his potions. But not even Madam Pomfrey dared to enter the room, which housed the heir of Slytherin, especially after his panic attack the last time she had entered.
Dumbledore sat on the edge of tom's bed after the door closed behind Harry, his normally twinkling eyes dulled a little as they took in the pale man who lay on crisp white sheets, his black, now long hair making a halo of darkness around his face, the silken strands spread on the stark white hospital pillow. The all too thin demur of the man, the sunken cheekbones, the dark, slowly healing bruises and faded scars. His eyes captured the young man's before him. His hand reached out and paused as the emerald-eyed man flinched, he slowly lowered his hand and began stroking his cheek, brushing loose black strands out of his eyes.
"You have lived through much my dear boy, but you will need to live through even more by the end of it." Tom looked away, the strokes on his cheek sending shivers down his spine and the curls of pain froze him from the inside, 'Albus thought of him only as a mere boy still.'
"If I can face and live through the hell the dark lord has caused for me, I can live through anything."
"Let us hope so." Dumbledore's lips rose in a sad half smile and his took on a soft look as he continued stroking the pale shallow cheek of the man who had once been his student, a student he had watched, helped and encouraged to grow into a young man and then had lost him to the darkness. He promised himself he would never let that happen again.
'Tom had been only young, about Harry's age now that he was in his 6th year, when he had been ensnared by the power of darkness, it had only gotten worse when the dark lord took him in. It had been this boy the dark lord had chosen for his perfect scapegoat, to goad all the public into thinking tom was the dark lord, Lord Voldemort.
And he of all people had believed it, believed that his Tom was the dark Lord when Tom had needed him to believe otherwise. Never thinking that the true dark lord would let others do his dirty work for him, that the true dark lord would not be so stupid as to show his face, that the true dark lord would lurk in the shadows until the time was right when victory was almost in grasp. No he had been a fool and believed the façade like the rest of them.
It hadn't been until the war had truly started and well into it when Harry had been kidnapped, he had been thrown into the same cell as tom. He couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened in those cells as both had come out as wrecks, bodily harmed and mentally scarred, they had refused to talk for weeks only hissing to each other in the tongue of snakes. Tom's injuries had been incredibly bad, a small spell was the only thing that had kept him alive but in constant pain, he had only begun returning to normal... bodily but never mentally.
Amazingly the two had overthrown the dark lord, they had planned and worked together and in doing so had killed the dark lord and upturned enough evidence to clear Sirius, Severus's and most importantly Tom's name.
There was plenty of evidence, all pointing to Lucius Malfoy being the dark lord but the fact only Tom, Harry and his closest servant, Peter Pettigrew, were the ones that knew, and not even his son or wife knowing about it ... the public thought it was a trick, they couldn't handle this change even with the evidence, the mix up of all there beliefs, what was right what was wrong, the fear that they had all been living through. That 'he-who-must-not-be-named' was just another puppet, just a broken man. No, they wouldn't ... didn't believe it. Dumbledore snapped out of his thoughts as the man who had once been wrongly feared by all flinched under his dormant hand. He quickly drew his hand away.
"I'm sorry." Dumbledore looked away from the dark blank eyes that had been trained harshly not to give any emotions away. He promised himself he would return feeling to those eyes. He continued staring out the window past the stark white curtains of the hospital ward out in to Hogwarts grounds and past to the half burnt forbidden forest that still smoked slightly from the remnants of the dark battled weeks ago.
"It wasn't your fault." Tom's voice broke Dumbledore's thoughts as he awkwardly patted his hand. A quick glance out of the corner of the headmaster's eye found that Tom was gazing in the same direction as him a thoughtful if slightly confused look on his face. Dumbledore returned his gaze to the forest with a sigh.
"You two remind me of a quote." Harry came in carrying a tray grinning slightly. "It's a really nice one. I don't know why it came to me when I saw you two," at this he grinned at tom. "but it goes something like, Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction, but can't remember who said it though." He placed the tray down smirking slightly at the black look tom had given him, which Dumbledore didn't notice.
"Tea?" he asked with feigned innocence, which aroused Dumbledore's suspicion. Harry had been through too much to be innocent and when he put on this act it always worried him. He got off the end of toms bed and sat beside it leaving room for the tea. Harry brought the tea over handing both tom and the headmaster a cup.
"Nothing sir, sandwich?" Harry handed him and tom a plate with two sandwiches overlapping each other looking a little like a heart. Dumbledore took one, the hidden message Harry was trying to pass to him totally missed it's mark, 'Damn the man was thick for someone who seemed to know everything that happened on this castle, he was so busy looking elsewhere he hadn't noticed what was happening right under his nose.' Although the message had been noticed by tom who was now glaring daggers at the-boy-who-lived and was soon to be boy-who-died-of-hospital-pillow-getting-shoved-down-his-throat.
"Ahhh!" Harry ducked the pillow flying towards him and spilled tea all over professor Dumbledore's robes as the pillow skimmed the top of his head. A shocked silence followed.
"Sorry professor! Here let me help... I'm sorry... I'll just..."
"No it's fine Harry, it's just a little tea." The headmaster stood tea dripping from his beard and slowly soaking into his robes, he muttered a charm under his breath and with the flick of his wand the tea was gone but so were his robes. He made a small indignant noise in the back of his throat. "It's er not ear ... my mistake, oh well." He sat back down with only a dark purple silk nightgown looking outfit that skimmed the ground.
"hrrm, well then." Harry coughed lightly looking for something to say. "er... sorry."
"No, don't worry about it my boy. I've just sent my robe to the laundry instead of cleaning it myself, it should be cleaned by tomorrow. What we really came here was to see if you'd be ready to leave the hospital wing." He turned to Tom who looked a little flustered but ecstatic.
"When can I leave?!' Dumbledore chuckled.
"if you willing to stay with Harry in the Gryffindor tower until school is resumed you can leave right now." Tom crinkled his nose in distaste.
"Gryffindor?!... I suppose it will have to do. As ling as I don't have to wear the colours." Harry faked mock gasp.
"what would Salazar say?! Staying in the enemy house!" Tom frowned indignantly but his lips twitched and he grinned.
"He'd probably give me a pat on the back and say, 'this will be interesting to watch'" he lowered his voice imitating Salazar "which is exactly what he said when I asked him to help me with a rather ...er personal problem last time." He glanced at Dumbledore who had noticed his almost slip of tongue. Dumbledore gave him an inquiring look as Harry burst into giggles.
"He really said that?!" Harry hiccupped trying to hold in his laughter.
Tom grimaced "Yeah, I really hate his sense of humor."
Harry grinned, "I think he's hilarious."
"you would.
"You've been in contact with you great, great "
"it's thirteen greats." Tom interrupted the headmaster.
"Thank you, grandsire, Salazar Slytherin?" Tom shrugged.
"Once or twice."
Dumbledore gaped but quickly regained his composure at both Tom's and Harry's amused looks. He tried not to look too eager, here in front of him sat someone who had met one of the founders ... recently!!!
"So... what'd he like?"
"er, well he has a sharp mind, lashing tongue and excellent wit, all trade marks of Slytherin intelligence, he also has an extreme sense of fun, something which the present day Slytherins seem to have lost."
"Like a mixture of professor Snape and the Weasely twins." Harry piped in. "He's Fred and Godrics George. It's and incredibly scary combination with a dash of Snape added in." Dumbledore's eyes widened.
"you've met him as well?!"
"those Tom thinks have an extreme connections with himself can, well, when he calls Salazar anyway, I'm sure we can arrange a meeting for you." He grinned at Tom who glared back, a slight red tinged his cheeks and Dumbledore's eyebrows raised slightly in surprise and small realization.
"extreme connection?"
"hrm, yes, well can I get out of this bed now? I want to leave this blasted infirmary as soon as possible." Tom avoided Dumbledore's questioning gaze as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He tried to stand but almost collapsed except for the strong arms that held him up..
"You haven't walked for weeks, you should stretch a little to wake up your muscles." The voice vibrated through soft, warm, slightly coconut-smelling chest Tom was supported against. Tom sniffed trying not to look too conspicuous, he'd always imagined Albus would smell like lemon due to his favorite sweat lemon drops.
He was helped up to sit on the edge of the bed an embarrassed blush on his cheeks. Of course he should've known that he wouldn't be able to walk as soon as he stood, now Albus probably thought of him as no more than a child. 'Albus... it was always Albus in his thoughts, not headmaster, not professor, not Dumbledore, but Albus. Albus meant white and bright in Latin, yes it suited perfectly, his angle of bright white that lit up the darkness ...' He shook his head 'How corny did that sound?!' He was Tom, the survivor, one who had vowed never to feel any emotions to ANYONE, to live unfeeling, but live all the same. Now he had feelings ... for two people! Harry had wheedled himself under his skin and now the boy had the status of confidant, friend, son and heir. That was life ruining all plans of sanity. He snorted, extracting weird looks from both Harry and Albus ... Albus, damn the man, with his kind smile, twinkling eyes, string calming hands, coconut smelling chest and hard to resist manipulative presence.
"Are you feeling alright?" Dumbledore crouched into his view and Tom swore throwing his blankets to the end of the bed.
"I am NOT weak!" He growled half to himself knowing it for a lie.
"I didn't say-" Albus's soothing tone was silenced by a finger pressing firmly against his lips and Tom drew closer to him, inches apart he stopped and glared into the surprised crystal blue eyes. A growl erupted from his throat and his eyes flashed dangerously.
"You have proved me wrong in more ways than one. I am sick of being manipulated and weakened slowly, my foundations are failing I do not need you to pull them out from under me any quicker than Harry." The finger was removed as Tom tried to get to his feet once more and succeeding he stalked half stumbled out of the room. A sigh of disappointment turned Dumbledore to face Harry who had his head in his hands.
"Harry?" The emerald eyed boy turned to him too much despair and age carved on his features for one so young.
"Tom gets defensive when he deals with his emotions. He believes himself weak for caring. He goes through stages, denial, acceptance mixed with rage and self pity and it stay like that until he gets so used to the idea and it has worn him away that he accepts it without fuss. He deals with most things this way, it's kept him alive for so many years ... it's a habit he won't break easily, this'll last a few days, three weeks at the most ... hopefully." Dumbledore frowned
"We should find him, he shouldn't wonder the castle until he is proven innocent and he is feeling better."
"Right, but I should probably talk to him first, calm him down..." A cry of pain echoed down the stone hallway into the infirmary and both Harry and Dumbledore rushed out to find Tom on the ground his cheek pressed against the stone wall, eyes clenched shut with pain, fingers clutching the rock floor beneath his knees. He glowed a slightly gold colour around his edges and whimpers emitted from in between his firmly clenched teeth.
"What's happening?!" he managed to gasp before letting out a howl of pain clutching his head in his hands as he cowered on the floor.
"It's your magic returning and clearing out the darkness." Dumbledore knelt beside
the man placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Tom let out a hiss of relief and pressed himself harder into the hand.
"he says it hurts less." Harry translated the hiss and the headmaster drew the now shaking man into his lap wrapping his arms around the frail, thin shoulders. The dark haired man's fingers clutched him, entangled in his beard as he hissed burying himself into the nightgown-clad headmaster to escape the pain that the golden glow brought with it.
"He says thank you." Harry whispered as he knelt down beside them and stoked Tom's hair carefully as though trying to caress away the pain. Dumbledore clutched the man tighter to himself, trying also to ease the others pain, no it wasn't the quickening beat of his heart or the kick in his chest which felt a like a stab of jealousy triggered by the loving and worried look in Harry's eyes that was directed at his tom. No, it wasn't the jealousy that made him hold Tom tighter. He was warding off the pain ... not Harry. He could almost see the smirk his inner most thoughts directed at him, but he felt it as it set his inside churning with unwanted thoughts, thoughts he didn't want to analyze, ones he had tried to hide, ones that were resurfacing after so long.
"I... I think I can stand now." The soft voice whispered from his chest, breaking his thoughts.
"Are you sure you don't want me to carry you?" he didn't want to loose the warmth just yet.
"I don't want to go back to the infirmary." The younger man tried to sit up and Dumbledore shifted bringing him closer to his chest.
"well, let me carry you to Gryffindor tower."
"I'm not weak." Came the muffled reply as emerald eyes glared icily into blue.
"Of course you aren't." came the reply as soft lips came to press gently against the top of the raven haired man's head.
"you're just sick and you need to rest to get better." At which Dumbledore stood up with strength unexpected of a man his age.
"let's go Harry." He smiled at the young Gryffindor who grinned back and shifting Tom slightly in his arms began their treck to the Gryffindor tower.
"Fortitudo" As Dumbledore spoke the password the portrait swung open.
"Damn, I forgot something down at the hospital, I'll be right back." Harry sprinted off and as soon as he rounded a corner stopped and stood grinning like a maniac.
"It hasn't changed a bit! Except for the new sofas." Tom looked around the red and gold room in amazement.
"yes, courtesy of Fred and George. But how did you know what it looked like before my Slytherin?" Dumbledore glanced down at the man in his arms who blushed.
"I.. I came here once to visits someone."
"Someone?"
"...er... Andrew Dairer."
"The Gryffindor seeker?" Tom nodded blushing like mad.
"...oh." Dumbledore looked a little shocked at the realization. "I didn't know you... batted for you own team." He saw Tom's blank stare. "a Muggle saying."
"No, it's not that, I'm a mud blood, I know what it means, but I thought you knew ... you know everything that happens in this school." He grinned and Dumbledore smiled back.
"Yes, well it seems you were my blind spot."
"Oh, how so." Tom smirked.
"You don't really think you got away with all your pranks because you were cunning, charming and a gorgeous young man did you?" Dumbledore smiled but frowned as the look Tom was giving him made him realize he hadn't censored his wording.
"Well, I didn't know you batted for the same team." Tom smirked and Dumbledore blinked.
"I..." He fell silent due to the lack of words.
"So how would you like to go for a drink sometime." Tom said jokingly. "But by the way your carrying me to bed would suggest we're well past that stage." He grinned but fell silent at Dumbledore's uncomfortable look as he placed Tom on the bed. "Albus I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." The older man shook his head and smiled sadly.
"Did you know the man I loved fell to the dark side before I could save him or tell him how I felt. Do you know how much I hated you for that? You took away my heart. I vowed if I could ever get a second chance I would tell him how I felt for him, whether or not he would return the feelings." Tom's insides turned to water
"Have you found him?" He asked sadly
"Yes." Dumbledore smiled "Goodnight love." He kissed the shocked Tom's forehead and stood, but was pulled back down to Tom's eye level, inches from his lips, his breath brushing lightly across his cheek.
"Do you know how many nights in that shitty little cell I imagined you say that?! The thought of you kept me alive and sane." He smiled and pulled Dumbledore into a gentle kiss, lips barely brushing. He blinked as his vision wavered and tears overflowed onto his cheeks, running into Dumbledore's beard.
He smiled up at the blue-eyed man, his eyes washed with tears, shone with love.
FIN
Hope you enjoyed it, if you did I BEG of you to review!!! And even if you didn't like it, why not just drop a line.