Aman'mai's Disclaimer: This wonderful idea's humble beginnings began at
Miss Cam's wondrous work of art: OFUM. All characters except Erin, Aman'mai
and Hunter belong to the honorable Robert Jordan. Monty Python ref's are
NOT my responsibility and Hunter is hereby called in for punishment...but
probably will include more refs so don't blame us. Any tips and helpful
suggestions are MOST welcome as well as flames-but since not many fics are
written, you don't have much to go on to refer to as being better. Will
enjoy anything people come up with.
Jillian's A/N: Yes. We did obtain permission from Miss Cam for this - hope it lives up to the great standard of OFUM 1 & 2. Please send in your application and any ideas for this fic. *Mutters something about writer's block being the Ultimate Evil* Anyway, please read, review, thanks for getting this far in the story.
[And apologies (but not very many) for the Monty Python references.] ____________________________________________________________________
Erin sat before her computer. What a great idea for a fic - just the thought of Elayne and Aviendha's reactions when they found Rand with Mat made her smile. Hmmm, now the question was where they would find them...
"Pain, Lews Therin! Pain!" she laughed, spinning around in her desk chair. Usually, she would not be so happy - but usually she didn't eat piles of sherbet before writing fic. Erin set her hands upon the keyboard, and began typing...
Rand stroked Mat's back softly and heard Mat groan under his breath murmured softly in his ear then, using the One Power he channeled saidin into the room, accentuating the pleasure and. "Rand?!" he looked up and Mat groaned once more as Rand caressed his chest with one hand, Avienda and Elayne stood at an open doorway. Avienda was shaking with fury and Elayne looked as if she were to cry...
"Where did that come from?" Erin jerked away from the screen as if stung. Cautiously, Erin picked up the fist-sized object that had appeared on the desk between the keyboard and the monitor. It was a deep reddish colour, and was round with a hollow in one side large enough for her thumb and forefingers to go through. 'Am I stupid enough to poke my fingers in there?' She wondered at the thing in her hands. 'I've seen way too many movies to be that dumb. Oh, what the hell I've already picked it up what could happen.' With a loud sprrrrroing, the orb sprang open, ejecting a large scroll and a pen. Briefly wondering how they fit inside the orb, she picked up the paper and started to read it.
Dear Fanfictor,
Congratulations! You have been enlisted in Wheel of Time Training for Fanfiction. Please complete the following form and return it right now, or I'll sic my brand-new Mini-Golam on you.
Name:
Homeland
Occupation: (If Aes Sedai pls. go to next Q.)
Are you Aes Sedai? If so, please fill out following questions:
Ajah (if applicable):
Salidar or Tower Aes Sedai?
"What?" Erin muttered. "This is so not happening. I don't believe I am filling out a form for.Fanfiction training? And it asks me my Ajah?" Shaking her head, she grabbed the pen anyway and filled it out. 'Green Ajah, Salidar Aes Sedai, homeland? Aiel Waste, why not.' There were sections for Aiel (which Erin decided to fill out as well, why not.) and Asha'man, and 'giant spontaneously-combusting hamsters? What the.?'And it continued over the page.
Evil or good?
I have a fear of: Myrdraal / Gholam / Pain (Lews Therin) / Thirteen Aes Sedai / The Forsaken/ Harmless Little Bunny Rabbits / The Dragon Reborn / nothing, what is fear?
It went on and on, including a release form with phrases like any injuries is my fault and I will not insinuate blame on WOTTF in any way. Erin smirked at that, and thought 'I wonder if they meant the acronym most people associated with those letters to come to that?'
Her father entered the bedroom "Erin? Are you still up? It's 11 o'clock. You've got school tomorrow. Into bed and be quick about it!!" closing the door before Erin could twist herself around his finger for five more minutes.
Erin shrugged and, finishing of the letter, she signed her name with a flourish and left it on her desk. 'See if I have to mail it in the morning to some place.' Yawning, she turned off the computer and climbed into her bed to settle down with the eighth book, Path of Daggers.
After reading a chapter of the eight WoT book, she snuggled carefully in her blankets and turned out the lights, giggling madly she thought about her new slash fic. Oooh, this one's going to be good she thought 'and then Aram tries to get with Perrin after Perrin is devastated by the fact that Faile has fallen for hmm, which one of the Forsaken? Rah'vin? No, he died. Hah! I'll go one better, the Dark Lord!' And so, chuckling evilly to herself she rolled herself in her blankets and closed her eyes.
____________________________________________________________________
Thinking you are falling asleep in your bed one moment and then finding yourself in a seemingly deserted campsite in the next can be quite a frightening experience but then, the sherbet's Erin had eaten earlier seemed to still maintain their affect. And so Erin, standing by herself, realized she was still chuckling over her last thought before she had fallen asleep, 'funny, I don't think I should remember things like that, not usually anyway...' Then, looking around at her surroundings she decided to creep into a tent. Seeing, a very pretty chair behind a very imposing desk she sat down on the multiple cushions lying there and started to act, well 'queenly' as the chair had all but told her to do, what with it just there, doing nothing and looking real important and all.
Without warning, voices from outside traveled into the tent; Erin found herself ducking down under the desk.
"I don't think this is a good idea, Aman'mai," one female sounding voice began.
" Nonsense, we are behind with the times, Hunter. The canons of Middle- Earth, Hogwarts, assorted anime cartoons and heavens know what else have already started. And now with new technologies around and the PPC on board, we can battle this 'bad fanfic' plague that has spread so momentously since the discovery of the Internet and the Lord of the Rings movies. You know how that started a whole new craze."
"Mmmm, tell me about it."
"Have you gotten in touch with the canon characters yet?" said the one called Aman'mai.
"Yes. They are happy to get even with these Fanfictors, especially after I handed in that one about Mat and Rand..." Hunter answered.
"Yes, I know, that latest one from, hmmm, a girl called... Ezza?"
"Ya-huh, I saw it. Awful stuff. I sometimes wonder why they do it; do they enjoy torturing a hard-working author's characters? I for one believe that Mr. Jordan did a very good job with this canon." Erin thought she heard the one called Hunter sniff loudly.
"Yes, and the fact that he isn't dead yet means he can use the series to thwart Fanfictors for writing about themselves with one of the character."
"Especially, with Mat and Rand having all those women."
"Now that you mention that, perhaps he went too far. You never know which hormone crazed girl might lust after being one of their mistresses..." Hunter must have sniffed again because the other woman raised her voice angrily against her.
"Honestly, Hunter, you and all that sniffing! What is it with you and those Emond Field girls? I tell you, that sniffing really gets on my nerves!! I think I might need to spend a bit of time with
The voices faded away and Erin emerged from her hiding space under the overly large desk. 'Weird' she thought and walked out of the tent, not without making sure the coast was clear; those two clearly didn't appreciate true slash ingeniousness like her own. Dream or no dream she kept a wary eye out for them but they did not seem to return. Wandering aimlessly for a while she passed an overturned cart, noting the...
"Aha! What do we have here?" a heavily muscled arm grabbed her round the throat and dragged her into the shadows. Erin yelled and kicked at her attacker fruitlessly.
"I'll kill you! I...urgh...won't let you...urgh...do this to me! You won't! Raaargh!" whoever was holding her slung her down on the pavement in front of him.
"Kill me, hmm? And how would you propose to do that? I sincerely doubt that you could get off the ground," the man in the shadows said, mildly.
"Hah! I'd..." lost for words Erin glared at the man who had out smarted her. "Damn you..."
And then she disappeared.
The man stood looking down at the spot where she had vanished. Frowned, and walked away quietly, pondering deep thoughts.
________________________________________________________
Haha! Cliffhanger! Who is this mysterious 'pondering' man? Where did Erin disappear to? Where was she when she disappeared? Hmmm? Tune in next when I post my new chapter!
WARNING: Constructive criticism may cause slight depression to writer/s and so do not expect quick updates after sending one, although they are much appreciated. Writer/s seem to think work is 'not good enough' for their audiences and so try extra hard so as to get only 'you are so great' reviews instead to swear at exasperatedly because they have nothing good to read and work up on.
WARNING: Please pay no attention to the previous warning as it is incorrect and may/will cause great confusion. Therefore, the previous warning did not exist. At all. Except that reviews may take a while because school is murder to the brain an ads to DAMN STUPID WRITER'S BLOCK!!! (Shaitan cheers for his master)
Jillian's A/N: Yes. We did obtain permission from Miss Cam for this - hope it lives up to the great standard of OFUM 1 & 2. Please send in your application and any ideas for this fic. *Mutters something about writer's block being the Ultimate Evil* Anyway, please read, review, thanks for getting this far in the story.
[And apologies (but not very many) for the Monty Python references.] ____________________________________________________________________
Erin sat before her computer. What a great idea for a fic - just the thought of Elayne and Aviendha's reactions when they found Rand with Mat made her smile. Hmmm, now the question was where they would find them...
"Pain, Lews Therin! Pain!" she laughed, spinning around in her desk chair. Usually, she would not be so happy - but usually she didn't eat piles of sherbet before writing fic. Erin set her hands upon the keyboard, and began typing...
Rand stroked Mat's back softly and heard Mat groan under his breath murmured softly in his ear then, using the One Power he channeled saidin into the room, accentuating the pleasure and. "Rand?!" he looked up and Mat groaned once more as Rand caressed his chest with one hand, Avienda and Elayne stood at an open doorway. Avienda was shaking with fury and Elayne looked as if she were to cry...
"Where did that come from?" Erin jerked away from the screen as if stung. Cautiously, Erin picked up the fist-sized object that had appeared on the desk between the keyboard and the monitor. It was a deep reddish colour, and was round with a hollow in one side large enough for her thumb and forefingers to go through. 'Am I stupid enough to poke my fingers in there?' She wondered at the thing in her hands. 'I've seen way too many movies to be that dumb. Oh, what the hell I've already picked it up what could happen.' With a loud sprrrrroing, the orb sprang open, ejecting a large scroll and a pen. Briefly wondering how they fit inside the orb, she picked up the paper and started to read it.
Dear Fanfictor,
Congratulations! You have been enlisted in Wheel of Time Training for Fanfiction. Please complete the following form and return it right now, or I'll sic my brand-new Mini-Golam on you.
Name:
Homeland
Occupation: (If Aes Sedai pls. go to next Q.)
Are you Aes Sedai? If so, please fill out following questions:
Ajah (if applicable):
Salidar or Tower Aes Sedai?
"What?" Erin muttered. "This is so not happening. I don't believe I am filling out a form for.Fanfiction training? And it asks me my Ajah?" Shaking her head, she grabbed the pen anyway and filled it out. 'Green Ajah, Salidar Aes Sedai, homeland? Aiel Waste, why not.' There were sections for Aiel (which Erin decided to fill out as well, why not.) and Asha'man, and 'giant spontaneously-combusting hamsters? What the.?'And it continued over the page.
Evil or good?
I have a fear of: Myrdraal / Gholam / Pain (Lews Therin) / Thirteen Aes Sedai / The Forsaken/ Harmless Little Bunny Rabbits / The Dragon Reborn / nothing, what is fear?
It went on and on, including a release form with phrases like any injuries is my fault and I will not insinuate blame on WOTTF in any way. Erin smirked at that, and thought 'I wonder if they meant the acronym most people associated with those letters to come to that?'
Her father entered the bedroom "Erin? Are you still up? It's 11 o'clock. You've got school tomorrow. Into bed and be quick about it!!" closing the door before Erin could twist herself around his finger for five more minutes.
Erin shrugged and, finishing of the letter, she signed her name with a flourish and left it on her desk. 'See if I have to mail it in the morning to some place.' Yawning, she turned off the computer and climbed into her bed to settle down with the eighth book, Path of Daggers.
After reading a chapter of the eight WoT book, she snuggled carefully in her blankets and turned out the lights, giggling madly she thought about her new slash fic. Oooh, this one's going to be good she thought 'and then Aram tries to get with Perrin after Perrin is devastated by the fact that Faile has fallen for hmm, which one of the Forsaken? Rah'vin? No, he died. Hah! I'll go one better, the Dark Lord!' And so, chuckling evilly to herself she rolled herself in her blankets and closed her eyes.
____________________________________________________________________
Thinking you are falling asleep in your bed one moment and then finding yourself in a seemingly deserted campsite in the next can be quite a frightening experience but then, the sherbet's Erin had eaten earlier seemed to still maintain their affect. And so Erin, standing by herself, realized she was still chuckling over her last thought before she had fallen asleep, 'funny, I don't think I should remember things like that, not usually anyway...' Then, looking around at her surroundings she decided to creep into a tent. Seeing, a very pretty chair behind a very imposing desk she sat down on the multiple cushions lying there and started to act, well 'queenly' as the chair had all but told her to do, what with it just there, doing nothing and looking real important and all.
Without warning, voices from outside traveled into the tent; Erin found herself ducking down under the desk.
"I don't think this is a good idea, Aman'mai," one female sounding voice began.
" Nonsense, we are behind with the times, Hunter. The canons of Middle- Earth, Hogwarts, assorted anime cartoons and heavens know what else have already started. And now with new technologies around and the PPC on board, we can battle this 'bad fanfic' plague that has spread so momentously since the discovery of the Internet and the Lord of the Rings movies. You know how that started a whole new craze."
"Mmmm, tell me about it."
"Have you gotten in touch with the canon characters yet?" said the one called Aman'mai.
"Yes. They are happy to get even with these Fanfictors, especially after I handed in that one about Mat and Rand..." Hunter answered.
"Yes, I know, that latest one from, hmmm, a girl called... Ezza?"
"Ya-huh, I saw it. Awful stuff. I sometimes wonder why they do it; do they enjoy torturing a hard-working author's characters? I for one believe that Mr. Jordan did a very good job with this canon." Erin thought she heard the one called Hunter sniff loudly.
"Yes, and the fact that he isn't dead yet means he can use the series to thwart Fanfictors for writing about themselves with one of the character."
"Especially, with Mat and Rand having all those women."
"Now that you mention that, perhaps he went too far. You never know which hormone crazed girl might lust after being one of their mistresses..." Hunter must have sniffed again because the other woman raised her voice angrily against her.
"Honestly, Hunter, you and all that sniffing! What is it with you and those Emond Field girls? I tell you, that sniffing really gets on my nerves!! I think I might need to spend a bit of time with
The voices faded away and Erin emerged from her hiding space under the overly large desk. 'Weird' she thought and walked out of the tent, not without making sure the coast was clear; those two clearly didn't appreciate true slash ingeniousness like her own. Dream or no dream she kept a wary eye out for them but they did not seem to return. Wandering aimlessly for a while she passed an overturned cart, noting the...
"Aha! What do we have here?" a heavily muscled arm grabbed her round the throat and dragged her into the shadows. Erin yelled and kicked at her attacker fruitlessly.
"I'll kill you! I...urgh...won't let you...urgh...do this to me! You won't! Raaargh!" whoever was holding her slung her down on the pavement in front of him.
"Kill me, hmm? And how would you propose to do that? I sincerely doubt that you could get off the ground," the man in the shadows said, mildly.
"Hah! I'd..." lost for words Erin glared at the man who had out smarted her. "Damn you..."
And then she disappeared.
The man stood looking down at the spot where she had vanished. Frowned, and walked away quietly, pondering deep thoughts.
________________________________________________________
Haha! Cliffhanger! Who is this mysterious 'pondering' man? Where did Erin disappear to? Where was she when she disappeared? Hmmm? Tune in next when I post my new chapter!
WARNING: Constructive criticism may cause slight depression to writer/s and so do not expect quick updates after sending one, although they are much appreciated. Writer/s seem to think work is 'not good enough' for their audiences and so try extra hard so as to get only 'you are so great' reviews instead to swear at exasperatedly because they have nothing good to read and work up on.
WARNING: Please pay no attention to the previous warning as it is incorrect and may/will cause great confusion. Therefore, the previous warning did not exist. At all. Except that reviews may take a while because school is murder to the brain an ads to DAMN STUPID WRITER'S BLOCK!!! (Shaitan cheers for his master)