Wheel of Time Training for Fanfiction Chapter 3
Here Be Pain - but educationally so.
_______________________________________________________
Erin collapsed on her bed. 'Aes Sedai are truly evil.' That morning, Elaida had not approved of the note that Melanie had passed to her, and gone on to prove just how Evil an Aes Sedai could be. 'So much for not the First Oath,' thought Erin. Bloody Tar Valon Aes Sedai!
Talissa slouched in and slumped onto her bunk. "You too, hmm?"
"Aes Sedai training. You?" Erin muttered in reply.
"Worse, Aiel training."
"Ouch, that bad?" A dry chuckle came from Talissa.
"Remember what they did to Egwene before she left?"
"Yes," Erin said slowly. "But that was because she'd lied or something. Didn't they say she had toh?"
"Well, apparently all of us Aiel do too."
"Pain, Lews Therin."
"Indeed. Come on, we have lunch now."
"Oh good. Let's pray nothing else will go wrong."
________________________________________________________
Upon entering the cafeteria, Talissa and Erin noticed a hush fall over the students . . .
"I don't like this," whispered Erin to Talissa, then she noticed what Talissa was staring at, and froze.
GOOD MORNING, said the black shadow behind the counter, who seemed to be having difficulty tying up his pink apron, I WILL BE YOUR CHEF AS A SPECIAL STUDENT-TEACHER PROGRAM, WE TEACHERS WILL BE COOKING FOR YOU WITH THE HELP OF . . . , it gestured to two fiery lumps with wings, SARUN AND MORGOROTH, WE WERE LENT THEM FROM MISS CAM OF OFUM. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT?
Talissa emitted a small squeak.
"Errr, we'll just have a couple of toasted sandwiches," Erin's words stumbled out of her mouth and hid behind the juicer.
RIGHT. The shadow proceeded to pile in some ham and cheese between two unoffending pieces of bread, WOULD YOU LIKE TOMATO WITH THAT? Gods, he even made ithat/i sound like a threat.
"N-n-n-no, thank you,"
Shakily, they picked up their sandwiches and made their way to Melanie and Leanne. Immediately, Talissa opened her mouth.
"What the HELL was that about???" she squeaked at them.
QUIET IN THE CAFETERIA! NO SPEAKING! came a very scary voice from the kitchens.
"What madness is this?" Talissa squeaked again, yet so softly they could barely hear her.
MORGOROTH! FETCH!
**A/N: Ouch. **
________________________________________________________
After extracting Talissa out of Morgoroth's clutches, Erin made her way outside the next morning for the Sa'sara Dancing Class. She had actually signed up for this one, in that time when she had believed this place was not pure evil. 'Still,' she reasoned, 'what can hurt me just learning the Sa'sara? Might even be fun!' Stupid thinking.
She found a large group of students standing around and chatting excitedly in the courtyard. Yep, this was the sa'sara class all right. That group over there, the one with . . . that was the Lan-Lusters group. And that laughter was from the few who called themselves Aram's Angels. Dear God, these people needed new names, and fast. Not to mention, Aram? Yuk!
Before long, a group of Tinkers - no, not Tinkers, iTuatha'an /i - approached from their caravans parked near the Staff Section. They were definitely Tin- . . . Tuatha'an - no one else could wear those colours without being criminally insane. "Tuatha'an" had been literally beaten into her when she had called one of the . . . err . . . well, *that* that very morning.
The Tinkers were obviously there to watch for some reason and most of the students ignored them after a minute studying to see if any were worth giving up Aram.
A new figure emerged from the crowd of Tinkers.
"You!" The woman pointed to Leanne, "I want you to show me the most graceful and seductive movement you know."
And Leanne, being Leanne, began to vogue. (A/N: You know, the weird hand thing that Madonna does . . . * yawn*)
The woman, whom everyone had presumed was Faile (nobody could have had a sharper nose than ithat/i), looked on in what the other student could have thought of as cold fury or a calm blue ocean (A/N: Just before the storm, of course- what were you thinking of?). Leanne slowed her voguing to a stop.
"Err, should I try something different?" her voice quivered so much you could feel the vowels breaking under the strain.
Faile said nothing, but looked at Leanne with her famous hawk-eye glare.
"Can I have a go?" asked Jess, the Lan-luster.
Everyone turned as one with mouths open, Jess however didn't notice a thing- except for what she thought of as a quick nod from Faile.
Erin looked on at what seemed to her to be an opportunity to see Faile's wrath at work. 'This will be interesting. . . ' she thought smugly to herself, as Jess began to twist her hips in such a way that most people were trying not to laugh outright- this didn't mean they didn't giggle, of course . . .
Faile, of course, was silent until Jess was finished.
"Interesting . . . But I was hoping for more . . . suggestive movements that didn't necessarily mean "I'm a brainless-idiot who wants to f*** you." No, I think we want something a little bit more in . . . control? A bit of . . . yes, Leanne?
"I think what the sa'sara is all about is distance, like the ice cream that says 'I'm way higher than you but I'm going to show it off because I'm so much better and I know you can't get me sort of thing, especially when you have no money because you spent it all on a lollypop', for example." Leanne braved.
Faile thought about it.
"Hmmm, I'm not acquainted with your. . ."she stumbled for only a second before rallying magnificently, "those ice things, whatever you call them. But that seems an appropriate analogy for the moment.
"Now, for the first few lessons I have my mother to help you with learning the basics. Hopefully, she will not be too hard as you are very new to this . . ."
Faile walked off and motioned to someone around the corner. An enormous woman emerged, the assembled students suddenly found what it would be like if a mountain could move, simply by being the presence of such a mobile- seeming tower of faulted earth.
"I would like to introduce to you my mother, whom you will call AT ALL TIMES Lady Bashere."
Lady Bashere looked down on the insignificant mounds of dirt (A/N: metaphor) at her feet and sniffed, "I must say that I will have to work hard to get you lot up to the . . ."her eyes strayed to some of the boys who had accidentally signed up for Sa'sara instead of Archery, "Oh, my. I will work you hard indeed."
Faile nodded approvingly at her mother, "Well, they're in your hands now, mother. Enjoy," she added to the rest of us.
'This is going to be fun . . .' thought Erin, as she watched Faile as she passed and heard, most unintentionally as single word.
"Not!"
(A/N: Mwahahaha . . . )
***********************************************
Aman'mai: Hey Jill, will you get your lazy a$$ over to hotmail so you can help me with this DAMN STUPID WRITER'S BLOCK??!!?!
Shaitan: MWAHAHAHA!! AND I SHALL BE FOREVER EVIL IN DSWB!!!
Shroomie: Aman'mai . . . I'm busy . . . homework . . . must finish lj . . . must do . . .
Aman'mai: No excuse Jill, the reader's come first!
Shaitan: WHAT READERS?
Shroomie: Yeah, we only have . . .
Aman'mai: We have people who read us! Lots of people enjoy what we've done!
Shaitan: WHERE? I THINK I MISSED THEM . . . HEEHEE.
Aman'mai: They're there . . . somewhere out there . . . 'over the mountains'
Shaitan: AHEM.
Aman'mai: Oh, sorry. Well, if ANYONE is out there . . . please review . . . please?
Shaitan: WHO OUT THERE? ECHO . . . ECHO . . . ECHO
Aman'mai: Oh, shut up DO.
**************************************
Here Be Pain - but educationally so.
_______________________________________________________
Erin collapsed on her bed. 'Aes Sedai are truly evil.' That morning, Elaida had not approved of the note that Melanie had passed to her, and gone on to prove just how Evil an Aes Sedai could be. 'So much for not the First Oath,' thought Erin. Bloody Tar Valon Aes Sedai!
Talissa slouched in and slumped onto her bunk. "You too, hmm?"
"Aes Sedai training. You?" Erin muttered in reply.
"Worse, Aiel training."
"Ouch, that bad?" A dry chuckle came from Talissa.
"Remember what they did to Egwene before she left?"
"Yes," Erin said slowly. "But that was because she'd lied or something. Didn't they say she had toh?"
"Well, apparently all of us Aiel do too."
"Pain, Lews Therin."
"Indeed. Come on, we have lunch now."
"Oh good. Let's pray nothing else will go wrong."
________________________________________________________
Upon entering the cafeteria, Talissa and Erin noticed a hush fall over the students . . .
"I don't like this," whispered Erin to Talissa, then she noticed what Talissa was staring at, and froze.
GOOD MORNING, said the black shadow behind the counter, who seemed to be having difficulty tying up his pink apron, I WILL BE YOUR CHEF AS A SPECIAL STUDENT-TEACHER PROGRAM, WE TEACHERS WILL BE COOKING FOR YOU WITH THE HELP OF . . . , it gestured to two fiery lumps with wings, SARUN AND MORGOROTH, WE WERE LENT THEM FROM MISS CAM OF OFUM. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT?
Talissa emitted a small squeak.
"Errr, we'll just have a couple of toasted sandwiches," Erin's words stumbled out of her mouth and hid behind the juicer.
RIGHT. The shadow proceeded to pile in some ham and cheese between two unoffending pieces of bread, WOULD YOU LIKE TOMATO WITH THAT? Gods, he even made ithat/i sound like a threat.
"N-n-n-no, thank you,"
Shakily, they picked up their sandwiches and made their way to Melanie and Leanne. Immediately, Talissa opened her mouth.
"What the HELL was that about???" she squeaked at them.
QUIET IN THE CAFETERIA! NO SPEAKING! came a very scary voice from the kitchens.
"What madness is this?" Talissa squeaked again, yet so softly they could barely hear her.
MORGOROTH! FETCH!
**A/N: Ouch. **
________________________________________________________
After extracting Talissa out of Morgoroth's clutches, Erin made her way outside the next morning for the Sa'sara Dancing Class. She had actually signed up for this one, in that time when she had believed this place was not pure evil. 'Still,' she reasoned, 'what can hurt me just learning the Sa'sara? Might even be fun!' Stupid thinking.
She found a large group of students standing around and chatting excitedly in the courtyard. Yep, this was the sa'sara class all right. That group over there, the one with . . . that was the Lan-Lusters group. And that laughter was from the few who called themselves Aram's Angels. Dear God, these people needed new names, and fast. Not to mention, Aram? Yuk!
Before long, a group of Tinkers - no, not Tinkers, iTuatha'an /i - approached from their caravans parked near the Staff Section. They were definitely Tin- . . . Tuatha'an - no one else could wear those colours without being criminally insane. "Tuatha'an" had been literally beaten into her when she had called one of the . . . err . . . well, *that* that very morning.
The Tinkers were obviously there to watch for some reason and most of the students ignored them after a minute studying to see if any were worth giving up Aram.
A new figure emerged from the crowd of Tinkers.
"You!" The woman pointed to Leanne, "I want you to show me the most graceful and seductive movement you know."
And Leanne, being Leanne, began to vogue. (A/N: You know, the weird hand thing that Madonna does . . . * yawn*)
The woman, whom everyone had presumed was Faile (nobody could have had a sharper nose than ithat/i), looked on in what the other student could have thought of as cold fury or a calm blue ocean (A/N: Just before the storm, of course- what were you thinking of?). Leanne slowed her voguing to a stop.
"Err, should I try something different?" her voice quivered so much you could feel the vowels breaking under the strain.
Faile said nothing, but looked at Leanne with her famous hawk-eye glare.
"Can I have a go?" asked Jess, the Lan-luster.
Everyone turned as one with mouths open, Jess however didn't notice a thing- except for what she thought of as a quick nod from Faile.
Erin looked on at what seemed to her to be an opportunity to see Faile's wrath at work. 'This will be interesting. . . ' she thought smugly to herself, as Jess began to twist her hips in such a way that most people were trying not to laugh outright- this didn't mean they didn't giggle, of course . . .
Faile, of course, was silent until Jess was finished.
"Interesting . . . But I was hoping for more . . . suggestive movements that didn't necessarily mean "I'm a brainless-idiot who wants to f*** you." No, I think we want something a little bit more in . . . control? A bit of . . . yes, Leanne?
"I think what the sa'sara is all about is distance, like the ice cream that says 'I'm way higher than you but I'm going to show it off because I'm so much better and I know you can't get me sort of thing, especially when you have no money because you spent it all on a lollypop', for example." Leanne braved.
Faile thought about it.
"Hmmm, I'm not acquainted with your. . ."she stumbled for only a second before rallying magnificently, "those ice things, whatever you call them. But that seems an appropriate analogy for the moment.
"Now, for the first few lessons I have my mother to help you with learning the basics. Hopefully, she will not be too hard as you are very new to this . . ."
Faile walked off and motioned to someone around the corner. An enormous woman emerged, the assembled students suddenly found what it would be like if a mountain could move, simply by being the presence of such a mobile- seeming tower of faulted earth.
"I would like to introduce to you my mother, whom you will call AT ALL TIMES Lady Bashere."
Lady Bashere looked down on the insignificant mounds of dirt (A/N: metaphor) at her feet and sniffed, "I must say that I will have to work hard to get you lot up to the . . ."her eyes strayed to some of the boys who had accidentally signed up for Sa'sara instead of Archery, "Oh, my. I will work you hard indeed."
Faile nodded approvingly at her mother, "Well, they're in your hands now, mother. Enjoy," she added to the rest of us.
'This is going to be fun . . .' thought Erin, as she watched Faile as she passed and heard, most unintentionally as single word.
"Not!"
(A/N: Mwahahaha . . . )
***********************************************
Aman'mai: Hey Jill, will you get your lazy a$$ over to hotmail so you can help me with this DAMN STUPID WRITER'S BLOCK??!!?!
Shaitan: MWAHAHAHA!! AND I SHALL BE FOREVER EVIL IN DSWB!!!
Shroomie: Aman'mai . . . I'm busy . . . homework . . . must finish lj . . . must do . . .
Aman'mai: No excuse Jill, the reader's come first!
Shaitan: WHAT READERS?
Shroomie: Yeah, we only have . . .
Aman'mai: We have people who read us! Lots of people enjoy what we've done!
Shaitan: WHERE? I THINK I MISSED THEM . . . HEEHEE.
Aman'mai: They're there . . . somewhere out there . . . 'over the mountains'
Shaitan: AHEM.
Aman'mai: Oh, sorry. Well, if ANYONE is out there . . . please review . . . please?
Shaitan: WHO OUT THERE? ECHO . . . ECHO . . . ECHO
Aman'mai: Oh, shut up DO.
**************************************