WOTTF Chapter 5: Worthy Gentlemen

Aman'mai: Sorry for the late wait and all . . . we've been really rushed and I've been expanding beyond the WoT fics. Also, I've invented a few new words in this (and yes, Microsoft Word just went crazy on that There are so many red and green squiggles on this it's not funny . . . it looks like it's Christmas). Term 3 in Oz has been a pretty busy one for us. But, without any more ado, I shall give you . . .

The Shroom: *pulls head out of book and sees reader* MmmpH! *removes biscuit from mouth* Ah... the chapter's here. Yay? Thanks for reading, special

thanks and virtual-bikkies for reviewing, hope you like it, been very

very busy, next chapter hopefully coming soon, go Makybe Diva for the

Melbourne Cup, Tripod are doing shows of Lady Robots in Melbourne,

hooray, no one else gets this, why don't you just get reading? *dives

back into book*

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Erin lay day-dreaming in the grass.

'Pretty Lan, pretty Demandred,' she thought to herself, 'Pretty Rand! Rawr…' she pawed the air in front of her with an imaginary claw.

"Rawrrr . . . rawr – argh!"

"What are you doing?" she sat up quickly as she saw Elayne standing above her.

"N-n-n-nothing!" she stammered, "N-n-n-nothing at all! I – I saw a bee!"

Elayne narrowed her eyes at Erin and sniffed accusingly before swishing her dress in an arc and making her way back inside the University.

Erin let out a sigh of relief. Elayne still hadn't forgiven her for what had happened yesterday. She cringed as the memory of hitting the wall with a sickening crack came back to her.

Looking carefully around, she made sure that no one was watching her. Then, when no one immediately came to view she settled back down on the grass and . . .

"Hello, hello! What are YER doing today?" Erin groaned inwardly for being interrupted so swiftly yet again and sat up.

Turning, she found herself face to knee with a very large looking, over grown what the . . . ???? (A/N: I'm thinking mushroom for some reason, Shroomie)

"My name is Loial!" the thing – Loial said, grinning hopefully and his furry tufts at the tip of his ears twitching nervously.

She grinned. It – Loial's strange over enthusiasm was catching.

"My name's Erin. How'ya doing?" she asked him.

The thin . . . Loial took out a piece of paper and a pen.

"Good, yes. Now, now. Hang on . . . do you mind if I ask yer a few questions, now?" he asked.

"Of course not but. . ." she squinted at the creature "Hang on! You're . . .  you're Loial! The Ogier! I haven't seen you since… what? Book 5 or something!" she yelled, realization dawning on her like a grade 2 discovering a new uncoloured-in colouring-in page in their favourite colouring-in book.

He nodded companionably.

"If I may?" he asked courteously.

 "Um… I guess so. What do you want to know?" Erin said carefully.

"Well, if you've already read up to Book Five, you'll know I'm writing a book about Rand Al'Thor and the other ta'veren. I wanted to get a view from those in this school, I am thinking to maybe put it in, or write another book purely for this." Loial rubbed at his wide nose before blinking and continuing. "Oh, I digress again, don't I? You must excuse me. So – what do you find the most difficult aspect to your, I think it's called 'Fanfiction' training here?"

Somewhat stunned by Loial's speech, Erin thought hard.

"There's a lot, really. Sa'sara dancing, for one . . ." she could not stop a wince of painful recollection from that first class, "and the sword forms are damn near impossible . . . and the Aes Sedai – well, never mind that. Talissa and I have been arguing whether Aes Sedai or Aiel are more evil. There's never a night I can sleep undisturbed by glomping screams, or the screams of would-be glompers, the gloating of those who would have been glompees . . . and we've only been here for, what? Three weeks?"

As she continued answering Loial's polite questions, she found herself thinking more about her time at WOTTF.

It was strange, for all the pain, evil, and downright nastiness there was here, there was still a weird sense of happiness in her memories.

Must be some Aes Sedai trick, she considered. Or maybe Mat's been smoking the Two Rivers leaf around here again.

Eventually, Loial thanked her for being so patient and excused himself, leaving her to make her way back to her room through the early dusk.

It was surprising how well evening shadows hid things like benches and low flowerbeds, Erin reflected as she threaded her way through aforesaid obstacles.

Even more surprising, however, was how some Aes Sedai – probably Elaida, from her nasty twisted Red Ajah influenced mind – had deliberately woven an illusion of uninterrupted grass over a large, steep-sided pit half-full of what felt like primordial ooze.

"Wonderful," Erin spluttered through a mouthful of the stuff, splidging through the yick to higher ground.

She then started a string of all the worst curses she knew, sounding a little like Elayne when she'd been listening to the wagon-drivers again.

Only halfway through her furious tirade, at least three hours later, a face peered down into the pit at her. The footsteps she had presumed belonged to another student turned out to be . . .

"Asmodean?!" she yelped.

He seemed unusually happy – after all, hadn't he been miserable that whole time he was hanging out with Rand? Oh, Rand and Asmodean – what a great idea, squealed the metaphorical plot-bunny that had latched onto her ankle.

"Indeed," the Forsaken replied, and Erin shrieked as she found herself lifted out of the pit by, she presumed, saidin.

In mid-flight, several meters above Dragonmount she glimpsed Demandred in the next garden and he was . . .

She found herself reacquainted with the hard ground and lay sprawled in a gmuck of the ooze next to Asmodean, a bit of the ickiness had splattered onto his spiffy robe. A sense of guilt and remorse flooded over her as she thought of robes and great fashion sense and Demandred . . .

Asmodean poked her gently, as he would a statue. He did not expect her to move.

Erin flipped over as if she were a pancake and stared at the sky in a daze.

"This is all wrong," she moaned, "Wrong, wrong, wrong!"

Asmodean patted her shoulder.

"There, there?" he said.

"I'm so STUPID!" she cried.

"Ummm . . ."

"Kill me now!" she yelled dramatically, flinging herself over Asmodean limply, "I want to just die now! Why did I think I would be good enough for him? Why? Why? Why?"

"Trust me, I'm sure you would not want to die."

"You know how to balefire! Balefire me!" she offered her chest to him, "Right through the heart, nice and quick and painless. I will never have existed!"

"Why?"

Erin was speechless.

"Why?" she repeated, mimicking his words, "Why? How could you ask? My raw wound so tender and you defile it for me to open my heart, my most intimates of intimates, my . . ."

"Enough," Asmodean held up his hand to her mouth.

"Bite me!" yelled Erin, though not to Asmodean. Demandred had just walked into their garden, holding the hand of a certainly pretty student by the name of Shini.

Erin launched herself at Shini, the traitor and grabbed for her hair. A while later the two were struggling on the ground scratching and biting and squealing at each other.

Shini had finally got the upper hand and had pinned Erin to the ground and grinned looking up into the eyes of . . . the now absent eyes of Demandred.

"Bastard!" she yelled and got off the other girl. Wandering towards a tree she banged her head repeatedly against it.

Erin lay on the ground panting hard for a while.

"But you . . . he . . ." she said.

"Damn *THUNK* bastard! *THUNK* How *THUNK* could *THUNK* I *THUNK* have been *THUNK* so *THUNK* stupid!!!" Shini let out an animalistic scream of frustration.

"I was this close," she said, turning to Erin and demonstrating with her thumb and forefinger, "and you bloody ruined it for me!"

Shini's self abuse was now forgotten as the blame turned on Erin who started to edge away.

"Come on, he just dumped you, didn't he?" asked Erin desperately.

"Well, yes the . . ." Shini's verbal skills in the unpleasantries was beginning to rival Erin's own tirade a few moments earlier.

Erin decided impulsively that if she was to get to bed alive she'd better follow this to the end.

"If he was truly interested in you he would have helped, you know," she said hopefully and adding to herself, all the more reason to go after him myself not that he's free!

Shini nodded slowly.

"We could even go in as a team, get this guy back, you know what I mean?" Erin waggled her eyebrows conspiratorially and tapped her nose.

Shini grinned slowly.

"Right you are then," and stuck out her hand.

Erin took it.

"You want Demandred still?" she asked guardedly.

"Nah, I'll have Mat now . . . Demandred's got a bit of the ole LTT inferiority complex going on. No, Mat shall be a hunt to remember!" Shini rubbed her hads and grinned evilly.

"So your one of the 'Hunters that are Horny'?" Erin asked. She'd heard rumours of this strange new lustgroup. They modeled themselves on the persistent Hunter's of the Horn.

"Yes," confirmed Shini, "It's quite fun. You wanna join?"

Erin shook her head quickly thinking of the minis' reaction if they'd ever find the HtaH headquarters.

Shini shrugged.

"Your loss, then. Their planning a noon glomp of Sammael tomorrow when he's on his way to the Forsaken Reborn seminar. Don't tell anyone though!" Shini hissed, "Or it'll be your head!"

And with that Shini swaggered off imitating Mat and whistling all the bawdy tunes she knew.

Erin stretched her muscles slowly and felt for bruises. They'd be hell tomorrow but for now, all she wanted was sleep.

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Asmodean watched the girl depart.

Now, there was an interesting one, he though to himself.

He tossed up the idea of telling Sammael of his glomping appointment at lunch the next day but thought of something better.

He picked up a bottle of peroxide on the way to the staff rooms and slipped the stuff into Elyas Machera's hair oil.

He grinned, thinking of the pandemonium it would cause tomorrow.

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A/N: A welcome to Shini who was our second enrollment! We've had a request for one more, so that's already been sent. Any one else who would like to enroll is welcome to email either me or Shroomie. And no, you can go to our user pages whatsitits.

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