E/N (Endomiel's notes): Hi everyone! This is an insane story I came up with while eating cake on a party with some family so don't blame me for insanities. On second thought, do. Never mind my blabbering, I'm insane. I'll get to writing now…

Disclaimer: nope, don't own any LotR character, why not? Why can't I own one? Just one please!

PS: for all people who like my fic's about Endomiel, this one isn't about her, but she is there. She's the narrator-thingy. You know, the one who tells the story.

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Chapter 1: Get the party started

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Twas on a Menelya, an elvish Saturday, about a year after the war of the ring. The fellowship had gathered in Minas Tirith to hang out together and talk and stuff.

'Well…' Gandalf said as he cut the cake in nine pieces. 'We sure haven't seen each other for a long time!'

'Indeed Gandalf.' Aragorn responded. 'And I am very glad to see all of you here today.'

'It is glad indeed.' Gandalf handed out the cake to everyone.

'Ooh, good cake!' Merry said as he took a bite.

'Arwen made it.' Aragorn grinned. When everybody had their cake, Gandalf too sat down on the round table in the centre of the room. All of the fellowship members were eating their cake. Aragorn was in the biggest chair, on his right side was Legolas. Legolas was eating his cake neatly, enjoying every bite. It was indeed a good cake. To the left of Legolas was Gimli, he had already finished his piece of cake.

'Twas as good as the Mithril in Moria!' He exclaimed. I don't see how he could judge the cake for it looked like he hadn't gotten a single crumb in his mouth. The cake was all over the place and Legolas was gently scraping whipped cream of his shoulder.

'You know your food is supposed to enter through you mouth, don't you?' He mumbled.

'Did you say anything, master Elf?'

'No, dear friend Gimli, it was not me who spoke.' To the left of Gimli was Pippin, the youngest of all gathered there. He also had finished his piece of cake by now, but he didn't spill a crumb. A hobbit would never waste perfectly good food.

'Hey Merry, look at the centre of the table.' Pippin whispered to his friend next to him.

'What is it?' Merry asked as he turned his head. 'Ahh…' He licked his lips. Merry longed for the last piece of cake in the centre of the table. Left of Merry was Frodo. Frodo hadn't finished his cake yet, he was eating it slowly to enjoy the taste better. Frodo, as all hobbits, loved to eat but he always ate slowly. He took another bite of the cake and chewed. He could see Merry and Pippin stare at something. As he turned his head into the direction they were staring in, he also saw the cake. If only he could have that last piece of cake… that precious piece of cake… To the left of Frodo was, of course, his friend Sam. Sam had long ago spotted the spare piece in the centre and hadn't taken his eyes of it. He loved food more then anything. Even more as he loved Frodo. Of course, he loved Frodo in a socially acceptable way, DUH. He even loved food more as he loved Rosie. That had gotten him in quite a few fights back home. Rosie didn't like the fact that he spent more time with his meals than with her. I, for one, can understand that. I mean, he is her husband, he isn't married to his meals. Anyway, left of Sam was Gandalf, the powerful wizard. He was also very much enjoying his cake.

'Arwen sure made an excellent cake.' He said to Aragorn, who was sitting to his left. Aragorn smiled. This was the whole circle. Everybody was there. Everybody, except Boromir. He, as you all know, had died during the quest. That's why there was an extra piece of cake. Gandalf had forgotten that Boromir was dead, and now, in the centre of the table, was Boromir's piece of cake. All of the fellowship was now staring at it.

'Whose piece of cake is that?' Pippin asked as he pointed at the cake in the centre of the table.

'It uh…' Gandalf looked around the table. As far as he remembers, there were nine fellowship members, right? He counted everyone. Eight. Who was missing… after a few seconds of thought, he remembered. 'It is Boromir's piece.'

'Boromir?' Pippin said.

'You do remember he's dead, right?' Merry said.

'Of course I do!' Gandalf said.

'Then why did you cut him a piece of cake?' Legolas asked. Gandalf didn't know what to say. Why did he cut Boromir a piece? He forgot he had died. He couldn't tell the others that! What would they think of him? The all-mighty-wizard who forgot one of his friends died… oops?

'I uh… I did it out of respect for our friend Boromir, to show we still think of him, even now he's not here anymore.' Gandalf did a good job saving his ass there.

'Well, now we've paid our respect and stuff, we know he isn't going to eat it, so can I have it?' Pippin asked. Aragorn glared at Pippin.

'Of course not Pippin!' Merry said. 'There are other people here, they might like another piece too, we should dispose the cake by lottery.'

'We can't do that!' Aragorn said.

'Why not?' Pippin asked. It seemed like a good idea to him.

'Because it wouldn't be nice against Boromir!'

'He's dead anyway.' Legolas said.

'Legolas…' Aragorn started.

'Well, it's true. It's his own fault anyway. You don't just stand there in the open not paying attention to archers and expect not to get shot.' Legolas did have a point there. The hobbits nodded their heads and even Gandalf agreed. That, or Gandalf would like the cake too…

'If we are going to let somebody eat the cake, I find I should get it!' Gimli said as he stood up.

'Why you, master dwarf?' Legolas said as he stood up and towered over Gimli.

'I have come the longest way to get here.'

'So?' Frodo said. 'I think I should get the cake. I carried the damn ring the whole way to Mordor.'

'I think I should get the piece.' Sam said. Everybody turned to him in wonder. 'What? I had to put op with Gollum for I don't know how long!'

'I think I should get the piece.' Aragorn said. 'Not only did I have to get an army of undead, I also had to marry Arwen and rule a stupid kingdom!' All of them started to fight. They clearly couldn't decide what to do with the piece.

'SILENCE!' Gandalf said. 'IF ANYONE DESERVES THIS CAKE… it is me.'

'WHAT?!?' The fellowship gasped.

'I died on that trip you know!' Now all Mordor broke loose. Sauron himself could be jealous of the hate in that room. Every fellowship member was convinced that he was the one with the best reason to have that last piece of cake. Suddenly, the lights went off. In the darkness, footsteps could be heard. Somebody was walking over the table. Towards the centre he walked.

'He's taking the cake!' Legolas shouted. Then, the lights turned back on. The cake was gone. There were only a few crumbs left on the plate in the centre of the round table.

Who took the cake?

Why?

And what were they going to do to him when they found him? If they found him…

More, in the next chapter of… The Pie

E/N: And? Did you like it? Please, R/R!! And I know, it's a short chapter, but the next will be longer, I promise. Oh, and ideas/motives are always welcome. Guess who you think took the pie!