Disclaimer – Nope, don't…wish I did, but alas…Inu and the gang are NOT mine….
Well this is just a little bit longer than the last one, eh? Thanks to all for waiting patiently and for your reviews, it's nice to know some people are enjoying my efforts. I hope everyone had a nice Easter weekend…and has fattened up on chocolate bunnies, I would hate to be the only one who's fallen to that fate…anyway, enough prattling. On with the show!
Chapter 8: Inner Demons
Inuyasha caught his daughter's scent. He'd been waiting beside the well. Regardless of how angry he'd been, he wasn't going to leave until he saw her safely back to the hut. But it was not only duty that had kept him beside the well. For hours he'd tried to think of something he could say to apologize without being obvious or lessening the lesson he wanted her to learn. All the thinking had given him a pounding headache, which didn't improve his temper any.
He was filled with conflicting emotions, and felt slight panic for the action he was about to take. A harsh rebuke was on the tip of his tongue. His instincts told him to hug her. From somewhere deep inside he wanted to take her in his arms, to ease the loneliness he knew she must feel, her hurt. But as she pulled herself from the well he could only stand and watch her with a critical eye, and an indifferent expression.
He could smell her tears and a fresh wave of guilt hit him.
She seemed different from the girl who had fled down the well hours ago. Her anger, fear and confusion were gone. He sensed her sadness and knew he was the cause. She no longer seemed the defiant girl she had been, her eyes where down cast.
For a moment he had a very vivid memory of Kagome after one of his meetings with Kikyou. Gods, had he really been reduced to that kind of behavior again? Had Kagome's love taught him nothing?
If not for myself than at least for her…
Katin saw her father standing meters away; she had been expecting him. She had been expecting his wrath immediately, but was glad he had held off. She had something to say, and it would be difficult for him to hear if he was yelling.
He opened his mouth to speak but she bet him to it.
"Father, I was wrong to leave the village. I was foolish not to heed your warnings. I am disobedient. Please forgive me."
Dumb struck, he could only stare.
She chanced a quick glance and then continued, trying to keep her voice even and calm, trying to relay her sincerity.
"I could have come to real harm, and I am grateful that you can when you did."
What?!
"I realize that I am a burden to you. I know it must be hard to raise me without Mama, I am sorry to make it such a difficult job."
Gods, what have I done?!
"Please give me a chance to prove my worth."
Oh, what have I done! She feels a burden? She feels unworthy? How could I have brought this on her? How?!!
"Please, father," she whispered, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. She had to show him she could stand up on her own, that she would not give in to her emotions.
His heart was ripping apart in his chest, the pain rose up into his throat, threatening to choke him. He knew he should comfort her. She didn't have to say such things; she should never have been made to think them in the first place. He should show her she was already worthy, that she had nothing to prove. He wanted desperately to hold her close, to shower her with fatherly endearments, to show her he did indeed love her.
She looked up into his eyes then. Hers pleading, so full of pain and unshed tears, but he saw something else shimmering beneath the dampness, he saw strength and, more importantly, pride and honor. She wanted to prove herself. She felt she really needed to.
Again he was torn by immense guilt, but the feeling was countered by a blossoming pride. His little girl was really something special.
"Will you give me your answer?"
Her solemn voice broke apart the small happiness he felt. This was a very tricky situation. If he said no she would automatically assume he cared nothing for her; she would think he knew she was unworthy and proof was not necessary. If he said yes she would think the same, but with a hope of changing his mind. Also, he did not wish to hurt her pride or dishonor her. To a full-blooded demon honor was a code to live by. Though Katin was only quarter, and knew nothing of her heritage, the instinct ran deep.
Perhaps he could turn this into a lesson on her heritage, the first step in coming of age?
Who was he kidding? He was stuck and he knew it. No matter what he said she would be hurt. All his chances to patch up the rift between had dissipated. She had made assumptions based on the only information that had been given to her, and he had to respect the decisions she made based on those assumptions. There was nothing he could do to prove her feelings wrong, he had treated her the same all her life. The only thing he could do now was encourage whatever plans she had, and show her he cared through praise and approval.
He simply nodded, his face never giving the slightest indication of his feelings or his resolve.
"Do what you feel you must."
She swallowed hard, pushing away the sharp sting of bitter disappointment. She tried to forget the small hope she had held that he would call her foolish for thinking such things and embrace her. Such thoughts were for silly little girls. I am more than that. I am the daughter of the Inuyasha and Kagome. I have to be more than that! She returned his nod, but her face was not so well trained as his.
He saw her suppress her emotions, and again felt a small swell of pride. It was a strong person indeed to be so focused at such a young age. He watched the set of her chin, so sharp and resolved. She held her head high and with purpose.
He surprised her and himself by placing a hand on her shoulder. He wasn't even able to conceal the look of total shock that took over his face.
Trying for a quick recovery he rushed on, harsher than he meant to be. "Come, I'm sure Sango is worried." He gave her a little nudge, and they set off towards the village.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sango had indeed been worried. Hours ago she's sent Miroku out in search of the missing hanyous. He had returned later to report that Inuyasha was seated beside the Bone Eaters Well. And he laughed until tears streamed down his face. He had found the hanyou in that particular position for the same reason may times before.
"That guy's always waiting around…you should have seen him Sango, you'd be laughing too."
She only nodded and gave him a half hearted, distracted grin, and he had gone off to wash up, shaking his head with mirth.
She did not find anything amusing about the current situation. She knew if the two of them had had a fight Inuyasha would not have hesitated to follow her through the Well. Something serious had happened.
The mood that hung between the two when they returned did nothing to ease her worry. The girl was quiet and had a sad look to her. Inuyasha was calm, which, to Sango, was a frightening reaction following a fight as serious as the one she had envisioned.
He left as soon as Katin was inside.
Katin quietly prepared for bed. She offered to help finish the dishes, which the woman was currently working on, but Sango sensed the girl's exhaustion.
"No thanks, you head off to bed…careful, Keto's stretched out in front of the door," she called after the retreating form of her goddaughter.
"Oh, dear," she muttered to herself, set down the dishcloth, and went in search of her husband.
~~~~~~~
The next day Miroku grudgingly set off to find Inuyasha.
Why is it always me who has to risk life and limb to extract info from that mutt? She thinks he wont hurt me? HA! He's impossible to talk to when he's like this, why she thinks I'll do any better than her is beyond me!
~~~~~~~~~
Keto and Katin hauled the firewood from the freshly chopped pile and stacked it against the back of the hut. Well, Katin did anyway, Keto, as usual, was leaning against the pile and talking a mile a minute.
"You know, I could use a hand."
She was annoyed, but not overly. This was simply what it was like to work with him, he was much to busy philosophizing to be much of a help. Anyone who knew Miroku, knew Keto to be his son.
"Why is it, do you think, that Inuyasha doesn't just pile the wood as he chops it? Is there really a point to this extra step?"
"Will you shut up and help me?"
"You seem to be doing a fine job." He stated pleasantly, grinning.
She narrowed her eyes and glared, "Yes I am, but it's taking too bloody long, now move your butt!"
He laughed; enjoying this often repeated by-play, then bent to pick up a piece of wood at his feet.
"It seems you've missed one."
She only huffed a noncommittal response.
After a few minutes he grew bored of the silence.
"Don't you ever wonder why the daughter of The Great Inuyasha is hauling firewood?"
He had meant it simply as a joke, a tease to get her going. He did not expect to find himself shoved roughly against the side of the hut, held up by her arm pressed against his throat.
She seemed just as surprised as he was, and dropped him immediately.
"I…I ah, I didn't mean…I mean I'm sorry, it was, ah, it was an accident…"
Gingerly rubbing his throat and glanced around to make sure there where no witnesses. It was not only stray parents he was searching for, he had no wish for the village children to see him beaten by a girl. Luckily no one was about.
"That was pretty quick reflexes."
She blushed, looking at her toes. "I, ah, I didn't mean to…"
"Of course not," he reassured her jovially, "But, wow! Really that was pretty fast! Where'd you learn to move like that?"
"Um," she bit at her lip nervously, "I donno, I don't think I've ever done that before."
Ever quick-witted he guessed: "It must be your demon instincts."
"Nani?"
"Your demon instincts. You're quarter demon right?"
Feeling a little embarrassed, but more frustrated by his stupid questions, her reply rivaled her fathers' for biting sarcasm.
"What's your point?"
"Well, you have demon blood in you, and demons have fast reflexes, so naturally…"
"Oh, shut up," she snapped, turning back to the woodpile.
He made it sound so logical. Like it was natural and something she should have figured out immediately. But she hadn't. Her heart was still pounding, her confusion was still swimming inside her head, and the feeling of power was still rushing through her blood.
All at once she could smell everything around her. The wood, the grass, the tang of sweat - which she realized, was coming from her – it hit her with a dizzying force.
"Katin?" Keto's worried voice invaded her ears.
They too seemed to have increased in efficiency. The sounds of the forest bombarded her, and she grasped at the top of her head, trying to block out the noise.
"Katin, are you okay?"
She could only shake her head.
"Do you want me to get Mama?"
No answer.
"What about your Dad?"
That got her attention.
"NO!" She couldn't let him see her like this. It was seal her fate forever. What ever was happening to her she could overcome it, or live with it, no matter what.
"O-okay, but what…"
"Just be quiet for a minute," the request had come out harsher than she'd meant it to, "Please." She added for good measure.
"Hai." He whispered.
He watched as the girl he loved as a sister, fell to her knees. There seemed to be something wrong with her head, she was clasping her ears and breathing heavy. Fear for her gripped at him. He remembered bits of the stories his father had told him about Naraku and his mind control spells…what if…?
Once on the ground Katin focused all the thoughts on her over sensitive ears. They ached, unused to so many decibels all at once. But slowly the aching receded. After a few moments Katin found the noise not obtrusive, but rather comforting. She knew what was going on around her. She heard Sango in the distance humming a soft tune and washing clothes in the basin. She could hear some of the young village children playing by the river, splashing and giggling. Beside her Keto's heart was beating wildly…and suddenly she could smell his fear as well. But this time the scent did not frighten her, if she focused on only one scent at a time she found that the others would stay at bay.
"Why are you afraid?" She asked, childlike curiosity a wonder filled her voice.
"Y-you are not?"
Another deep breath and she felt perfectly calm and normal. Her heightened senses seemed no more uncommon than her raven hair or golden eyes, they were at once her and she was comfortable with them.
"No, I'm fine, sorry I scared you." She stood and brushed off the knees of her kimono. Wood chips fell to the ground.
"How'd you know I was scared?"
"I can smell the fear on you."
His jaw dropped, first in shock, then amazement, and then he grew it up in a knowing grin. "You've reached you coming of age!"
"My what?!" She spun around to face him. That fact that she was comfortable with her body again hadn't erased her confusion.
"Your demon coming of age."
"And what is that?"
"Didn't Inuyasha tell you anything?"
She shook her head, keeping her chin raised with dignity, trying to hide her embarrassment.
Keto rolled his eyes. "Geez Katin, I know about it and I'm just human!"
She growled dangerously.
He gulped, and checked any further smart-ass comments before continuing, "Every demon has a coming of age, when their demon blood awakens and their power begins to grow. It usually happens when they're younger, nine usually…but you're only quarter demon after all, eleven seems about right…"
"Really? Hmm…"
"Hai, oh, and something else, all hanyous have a time of the month when they turn completely human...""
"What? Why?"
"Well, ah, I don't really know…maybe to give their human side a break from the strain of being half demon. Now that you're demon blood's awaken you'll probably experience it too."
"Huh."
"You should really talk to your Dad about this, he probably knows better than me."
She froze for a moment, then asked, "You say all demons experience this? And all hanyou's have a night to be human? I'm not different or suffering from some weakness?"
He was only slightly confused by her strange questions. He chose only to reply with the negative.
"Good, then I will ask him tonight after supper."
She turned back to her work.
After a moment of silent thought he joined her.
As they neared the end of their task, Keto ventured a question.
"Are you worried you Dad will think you're weak? That you don't measure up?"
Ever the intuitive one aren't you?!
"Why do you ask?"
He shrugged, "Your questions before," he dismissed this for the point he wanted to make, "You shouldn't be, you know…and even if you do, think of it this way: maybe this'll bring the two of you closer."
"How?"
"Now you're going to see things more like he does, he wont be the only one who's different."
She was at once both delighted at the thought of having one more thing in common with her father – a thing that could definitely bring them closer – and terrified at the thought of being different from everyone else.
Thanks for reading!
Lauz - Don't you worry about Rin, her story will be revealed later…she IS alive though, hopefully that'll be enough to keep you interested until I get to that point :)
jim hawking jr – Thanks for your brief but encouraging words…I think that last review was meant as a compliment, here's hopin'!
SylverMyst - Thanks so much for reviewing! I've tried pretty hard to keep them all in character. I hope this update was soon enough for you…and I can't wait for your Chapter 13!
ShortPoet - As always, my many thanks…and where's your Chapter 19? (Haha)
Later Dayz!