Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh isn't mine. If it was, I'd be as rich as Seto Kaiba himself. (Well, probably not, but you get the idea…)

Author's Note: As a reviewer asked, Kaiba's Delivery Service is Mokuba's idea. Seto hates it, and thinks his brother could spend his energy better elsewhere. Therefore, he's embarking on an act of tough love in order to deliberately make sure Kaiba's Delivery Service gets as rough a ride as possible. And the next chapter will is one you can't vote for. It's something I want to do…

Summary: Kaiba's Delivery Service… Whatever the damage, we won't deliver your package… so screw me. Just try it…. Jounouchi, what on earth do you think you are doing? You are the fourth loser to complain, though I should celebrate this evolutionary step of a mutt being able to operate a computer. But I am Kaiba Seto, so stop mailing me before I have you neutered.

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Kaiba's Delivery Service: Fourth Loser To Complain

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Of all the goddamned stupid inadequate bunch of second-rate hackers!

Kaiba Seto slammed the desk with his fist. Yet again, someone had attempted to hack into his system, and yet again, they had failed. It did not pay to go up against him, the world's number one hacker, computer genius and all around expert. It did not work at all, if he did say so himself, which he did.

"I am the master of technology! Bow before your god!" he yelled inwardly, well aware that to do so in real life would be a reputation-ruining incident that would go down in his little black book of shame, along with his must-not-be-seen baby photos.

Instead, he had to settle for a megalomaniacal bout of evil laughter at the stupid masses from his office window.

Seeing Yugi walk beneath him on the pavement, he suddenly had a sudden urge to grab his paperweight and to throw it through the window and onto Yugi's head. Would it cause any damage? Probably, but it would be in the name of science.

Something beeped from his laptop, but he ignored it.

How can that pathetic runt beat me? He's only 5ft tall! I am superior in every way! I just don't understand it…

Unbeknownst to Seto, Mokuba was spying on his around the side of the door. Wisely, his little brother decided to back away and leave as his big brother went into another one of his dramatic tirades against what he saw as his defeat leading to the collapse of society.

… Nii-sama needs less coffee in the mornings.

"Won't that blasted thing shut up! What's up with you now?" Seto yelled, pacing over to the laptop, where he saw he had yet another complaint.

Oi, Rich-Boy!

I took delivery yesterday, or was supposed to, meh… who cares? All I am saying is that like your arrogant, stuck-up self, your deliveryman thought it funny to send my 3-D wallscrolls of the Red Eyes Black Dragon not to my door, but through my roof! My father, being pissed out of his head like usual, did not seem to care. Perhaps you could have done me a favour and aimed for him as he slept in his chair, but I guess that would have been too much to ask of you. I haven't used one of these machines much; so don't go taking the Mickey just because you're feeling smug and superior. See you in class.

Katsuya

He chuckled to himself, amused by the blond boy's apparent ability to use a computer.

Katsuya, Katsuya, Katsuya. You're yet another loser in the game of life. If only you knew that I delivered your wallscroll from a rocket propelled launcher from the window of my car. Oh well, I guess that's your natural uselessness shining through once more. Loser…

Then, something else happened that brought him out of his tirade and to pay his full attention to his little black laptop.

Upon it, in white letters against a black screen, was a message.

You are tails, and I am Heads. I shall be seeing you soon… KILL YUGI!

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