Hello! Welcome back .............................. to your DOOM!!!!!!!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Jo^2 - Yeah! Prepare to eat moldy cheese!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha
Sara - And ... and have mushy tuna shoved between your itty bitty wittle toes! He he he he he!
Axe - But DOLPHIN SAFE tuna!! Must protect the dolphins! (Turns and bows toward a giant gold dolphin statue.) Hail mighty dolphin man!
Jo^2 - Hey! Where did you get that thingy?
Axe - Somewhere special.
Sara - Oh my GOSH!!! (ha ha) I have an idea.
What?
Sara - We can sell the gold statue and buy us some chocolate pudding. Yay!
Jo^2 - Yay! Choco - late puddin!
Axe - No! My dolphin! MINE!!!!
Aww! C'mon Axe! It's chocolate pudding! With the chocolate and the pudding and the purchasing of it!!
Axe - NO!!! MY DOLPHIN!!! MY MAGIC DOLPHIN!!!!!!
Why don't we buy a chocolate dolphin filled with chocolate pudding?
Everyone - Yaya!!
Sara - We can scoop some whipped cream out of Jo^2's head.
Jo^2 - NOOOOOO! NO MORE POKING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! (Runs through a brick wall. ...... Wait that's not brick.)
(Breaks away some of the wall and licks it)
This wall is made entirely of pop rocks.
(Jo^2 sticks her head through another part of the wall.)
Jo^2 - Pop rocks?
Everyone - Yippee skippedy doodles!
(Everyone begins stuffing pieces of pop rocks into their mouths.)
Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop krackle.
Everyone - Hey!!
Sorry, poppity pop pop pop pop.
Well, now that everyone has got some poppity good snacks, let's return to the story.
Sara - Hey! Anyone got any soda?
Jo^2 - He he
We last left our heroes in Finkie's lab where ... um .... Well, see for yourself!
Everyone - Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sally - Don't you think this is cruel?
Sara - Hell no, you poor excuse for a rag! This is entertaining!!! I've always wanted to see Titanic.
Fink - (In his wheel chair by a picnic table) Never let go, Rose. Promise me. You'll never let go.
Jo^2 - (Laying on her stomach on the picnic table) I promise, Jack. I promise.
Axe - Hey! Don't they kiss at this part?
Jo^2 - If you think I'm kissing duckman, then you shall die a horrible death filled with fire, brimstone, and gassy farting!
Fink - But I thought you loved me!
Jo^2 - Snap out of it, Finkie!
Jo^2 slaps Fink, lifts up his scalp, and punches his brain. His brain flies across the room.
Fink - What happened?
Sally - Dad? But your brain.
Fink - What about it?
Axe walks across the room and picks up Fink's brain.
Axe - It's made of plastic.
Sara - Again, my life is a lie!
Fink - Give me that!
Fink take his brain (YOINK) from Axe and stuffs it back into his head and closes his scalp.
Jack - So now what do we do for fun?
Sally - We could play charades.
Jo^2 - Nah! That game is so 8 millennia ago!
Sally - Exactly how long have you been around?
Jo^2 - Oh. Here and there.
Axe - We're stuck with nothing to do and look! It's raining outside.
Sara - SIGH I suppose we could go sit in front of the window and watch it.
Everyone pulls up a chair and sits in front of the window to watch the rain come down.
Fink - Well, I have to go do something.
Jo^2 - Where are you going? You're not going to break out into song again are you?
Fink - No! I'm going to weld my head shut. That way, none of you idiots can get to it.
Finkie rolls on out of the room, but is followed by the group.
Fink - Why are you following me? I thought you were watching the rain.
Jo^2 - One. Two. Three. Hit it!
Everyone - Rollin rollin rollin. Rollin rollin rollin. Rollin rollin rollin. Rollin rollin rollin. Rawhide! (If you have no clue where this song comes from, look for Rawhide or An American Tail: Fievel Goes West. So, :p)
Fink - Shutup!
Sara - Just messin with you, Finkie.
Axe - Yeah! Loosen up, Duckman.
Fink - I am not Duckman!!
Jack - You know, it feels like we forgot something.
Jo^2 - You're right!
Jo^2 reaches into a random bag and pulls out a can of cheese whiz.
Jo^2 - Audience, I wasn't lying when I said I would make you eat moldy cheese.
Audience - GULP But that's not moldy ...... and that's not cheese.
Jo^2 - It's not?
Jo^2 presses down on the release button thingy and the can explodes. Cheese is spread everywhere and the air is filled with moldy dust.
Jo^2 - COUGH I told you COUGH that it COUGH was moldy COUGH COUGH DIDDY COUGH COUGH COUGH
Mysterious Voices (Do you see the little S? That means that there is MORE THAN ONE! NO CONFUSION!) - Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Mysterious Voice 1 - Free! Free at last!
Mysterious Voice 2 - Now, we can continue the plan!
Mysterious Voice 3 - Guys! I think some of the mold ate my left ear!
Sara - What? Who are these people? COUGH
Axe - Let's COUGH find out!
Axe pulls out a box.
Axe - Oh great powers, have the mold come to me!
A blue electricity comes out of the box and the mold smog is sucked into the box and the room is clear!
Jack - (Breathes in deeply) Fresh air!
Sally - Why can't I breathe in the freshness of the air?
Sally has failed to notice the gas mask covering her mouth that leads to a tank of the moldy gas.
Sara - He he
Jack - Sara!
Sara - What? What did I do?
Sally removes the mask and breathes in freshness. Mmmmmm ........ minty.
Sally - Hey! Where's Professor Fink?
Sara - Don't you mean Daddy?
Sally - Yeah yeah! Whatever. Where is he?
Suddenly, a muffled voice comes from Axe's box.
Fink - Hey! Get me out of here. It's all moldy! I can't breathe!
Axe - Whoops!
Jo^2 - We'll worry about him later.
Fink - NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I CAN'T BREATHE! I'M GOING TO DIE!
Jo^2 - I said later!
Fink - IT'S GETTING DARK!
Axe - Well, no duh! You're inside a box!
Sara - Now, who are the foes that dare tread all over our breathing rights?
Mysterious Voice 2 - You'll never win!
Jo^2 - Author, does it really matter whether it's voice 1, 2, or 3? We don't know who these guys are, anyway.
Yes, it matters! You stupid Urchin Weed!
Sara - Urchin Weed?
Axe - Wait a minute! You're not the author!
Sara - You're ......
The guy the people are referring to pulls of his mask!
Everyone - Mr. W!
Sara - Who'da thunk it?
Mr. W - Mwa ha ha ha ha ha! That's right!!
Axe - But where's the real author? I know we're not a product of your advanced mind!
Mr. W - You got that right! She's over there filling her fat face with chocolate pudding.
Mr. W points over to a random place where the author is sitting on the floor while spooning pudding into her mouth, but notices everyone looking at her.
Real Author (when's the last time I did this?) - What? Do I have something on my face?
Sara - Yes, but that's not the point.
Mysterious Voice 3 - Wait! Wait! What's going on? Who are you? Who is Mr. W?
Real Author - Well, aren't you a .... um ..... guy with a lot of questions.
Jack - Just tell us who they are. PLEASE!!!
Real Author - Well, ...... ok. But only because you said please.
Mysterious Voices - Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Everyone - Silence in a exciting anticipating sort of way.
Real Author - (stuffs more pudding into her mouth) It's Rock, Shrock, and Rarrel.
Axe - Who?
Real Author - (swallows) I said Lock, Shock, and Barrel. Are you guys deaf? I mean it's not that hard to understand.
Shock - Shut up!
Lock - You are all pathetic.
Barrel - You guys are cockroaches compared to Oogie Boogie!
Shock - Now, we're going to kill you all!
Lock - Yeah! We're gonna ..... Hey! Why can't I move?!
The three trick or treaters are tied up in chairs with our heroes surrounding them.
Sara - While you guys were babbling away, we caught you and tied you up.
Jo^2 - Yeah! It was easy. Your pointless threats gave us plenty of time to get behind you andstick you in chairs.
Axe - Now, you're going to tell us what Oogie's up to.
Barrel - Never! We're forever loyal to our great master.
Lock - We'll never talk.
Lock sticks out his tongue.
Fink - I'll take that.
Fink grabs Lock's tongue and pulls really really hard.
Lock - Ow! Hey! Thas my tongue! Le go!
Axe - Ewww. Fink, you don't know where that's been.
Fink - Hey! I'm wearing gloves!
Sara - Way to go, Fink!
Fink - You're going to tell us all about Oogie or else.
Shock - Or else what? I don't care if you torture him!
Fink - Or else this.
While holding onto Lock's tongue, Fink rolls over onto Shock's foot with a sickening crunch. Cool!
Shock - Ow! The pain! Get off my foot, you poor excuse for a duck!
Sara - Told you!
Fink - Shut up! I'm not getting off until you tell me what I need to know.
Jo^2 - Go Finkie. It's your birthday! It's your birthday!
Shock - Fine. Ok! Ok! Tell them, Lock!
Lock - Weww uow see. He's twying to destwoy Hawoween Town because ....
Fink - Oh! So, you like to play games?
Shock - What?
Axe - We asked for the information and you mock us with your useless babbling.
Shock - Wait! He's trying to ...
Fink - Enough. I see we're going to need some further persuasion.
Barrel - You don't understand.
Fink - I understand! Don't I understand, Jo^2?
Jo^2 - That's right, Chief!
Fink - Axe, Jo^2, Sara, go get ...... you know who.
Axe - This is going to be good.
The three girls leave the room.
Sally - Who are they talking about?
Fink - You'll see.
Lock, Shock, and Barrel - Gulp
The three girls re-enter.
Axe - Lock, Shock, Barrel, we have someone we'd like you to meet.
Sara - Yeah! He's real good friend of ours.
Jo^2 - And he's been dying to meet you three.
Sara, Axe, and Jo^2 step aside to reveal .................
Jo^2 - Children, this is Mr. W.
Mr. W - Hello. He he he he he.
Sara - He's here to talk about grammar.
Axe - Mr. W, please teach our friends the importance of good grammar.
Mr. W - With pleasure, Squirrel Girls.
Mr. W advances on Lock, Shock, and Barrel.
Lock, Shock, and Barrel - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Well, that's all folks! Tune in whenever for chapter 8 ...... Whatever that means.
Jo^2 - Wow! This is the first time Mr. W has ever actually been in the story.
Axe - He should get an award or something.
Sara - Yeah! And a big ceremony with an audience and songs and balloons.
Eh. Maybe later.
Jo^2, Sara, and Axe - Bye bye! We gots to go now. We're missing the torture show starring Mr. W and the 3 brats of Trick or Treat.
Jo^2 - I got front row seats!
Hey! I was not informed about the money making!
Axe - Sorry.
The three heroines scamper off to watch the joyful torture.
Bye bye!!