Hello! Here it is! The moment you've all been waiting for!!!!!!!!!
Everyone - The end?
Heh heh heh heh ......... no. Chapter 8!
Sara - Author, don't you think you're kind of ...... drawing this out?
What mean you?
Jo^2 - She means you could've ended this in four chapters, but you've drawn it out to span over several pointless chapters.
???
Axe - Are you going to continue doing this?
Uh .............
Jo^2 - Let's take a look see!
Jo^2 grabs my magic Author remote.
Hey!
Jo^2 - Fast forward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh my God! I'm all old and wrinkly!
Future me - Hello Children, well, it's been ...... uh ...... let's see ........ 60 years since I started this story. And now it's time for chapter 259. What say you audience?
Cricket cricket cricket cricket
Future me - I thought crickets chirped.
Jo^2 - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Look! There I am! And I'm ........ old!
Jo^100 (old) - The people at the copyright office says we couldn't use the chirping.
Future me - Oh fiddle sticks.
Sara - Look! That's me! Now, we'll see who won Jack!
Old Sara - There also suing you for .... um ..... now .... what was it?
Axe - Oh my!
Axe's skeleton is shown in a wheel chair and is holding a piece of paper.
Old Sara - (grabs the paper) Thanks, Axe. You know, I wonder why Axe stopped talkin. It was around the time I lost about 90% of my vision. The year was 1972 and I was boarding the great ship Mickey when ....
Jo^100 - Sara, you were talking about people suing us.
Old Sara - Oh yeah! Nasty stuff. Mainly in the sewers, but it finds its way up here and into my slippers somehow ......
Future me - Not sewage! Suing! People suing us!
Old Sara - Oh right! Let's see ..... You're being sued by Tim Burton for the whole Nightmare Before Christmas parody, Kelly Peepers for ruining her party (check chap. 1), her dog for making it sick in the first place, the people from Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street movies for using the names "Freddy Krueger" and "Jason Vorhees". .. ........... and it just goes on like this.
HOLD ON ONE FRIGGIN MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I said it in the beginning about the whole not suing us dealey! LET ME AT THOSE LAWYERS!!!!
Jo^2 (holding me back) - Calm down, Author!
Old me - Who are you People?
Jo^100 - I think their spies! Their trying to find more ways to sue us.
Jo^2, Axe, Sara, and me - Uh oh!
Old Sara - Security!
Axe - Time to go!
Axe grabs the remote from Jo^2 and pushes a button.
REWIND
idhfsohfijijgifjgfmkhidhiguvbfbmpodjfuhgdfskjgiofjdkopgjdfoigkfojgofjgpodkfogo ... crap!
Sara - Yay! We're back to our time!
Axe - That was close!
Jo^2 - Um .... guys?
Baby Sara - Mommy?
Baby Axe - Goo goo!
Jo^0 (baby) - Whoopsi!
Sara - Oh my!
On with the show ...........................................
Barrel - Stop! Oh please!!!!!!!! Make it stop!!!!!!!!!!
Shock - Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Lock - Ow! Ma wetinas!
Mr. W - ....... and that is how to diagram a sentence.
Fink - Are you ready to talk?
Barrel - Yes! Oh God, yes!
GOD - That's it!
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning comes from the ceiling and turns Barrel into a pile of moldy cheese dust.
Jo^2 - Now, that wasn't called for!
Sara - Yeah! We needed him for info.
GOD - I don't care! And Sara, why don't you call me anymore?
Sara - What?
GOD - It's been so long.
Sara - But, you ...
Axe - Well, while they're working out their differences, tell us what we need to know, Shock!
Jo^2 - Yeah! Or we'll tape you to Mr. W's hand and then you'll never hear the end of him.
Mr. W - Tee hee
Shock - No!!!! Ok! I'll talk! Oogie stole the corpses and is trying to destroy Halloween Town!
Jack - You're not telling me he's still mad about the whole bicycling contest in 1964!
Axe, Jo^2, and Sara - Guh?
Jack - Oh yes! It was a long time ago and what a fine day it was ........
CUE THE WAVY FLASHBACK SCREEN THINGY! Wavey wavey!
Many years ago ..... At the Halloween Town picnic ..
Little Oogie - Jack, I bet I can beat you at the bicycling contest!
Mini - Jack - You're on!
Sara - Awwwwwwwwwwwwwe! He's so cute!
Mini - Jack - Who are you?
Sara picks up little Jack and begins to squeeze him really really tight.
Jack - Sara! This is a flashback! You're not supposed to be here!
Sara - Whoops! Sorry, My Love!
Anyway, Sara drops Mini- Jack and backs away.
Mini Jack - What do you wager?
Little Oogie - If I win, .................. I get your entire spider collection.
Mini Jack - And if I win?
Little Oogie - If you win, then you get to be king of Halloween Town!
Jack - Ok! Ready, Set, GO!
The tiny tots take off on the tiny trikes! Whoa! I just did an alliteration. Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Mr. W's wordiness is rubbing off on me! Quick! Someone get me a sponge!
And they're off! Oogie takes an immediate lead, but Jack is right on his tail .....
Jo^2 - Ok! Ok! You don't need to continue this!
Why?! It gets really good when ...
Axe - We already know who wins!
Yes, but it doesn't exactly ...
Sara - Just end the stupid flashback!
Oh fine! Stupid little ..... mumble mumble.....
Back to the present!
Sara - So let me get this straight! This whole rivalry between you and Oogie is because of a stupid race.
Jack - Yep.
Sara - Good enough for me! Let's go kick his ass!
Sara, Jo^2, Axe, Jack, and Sally begin to leave Fink's lab.
Shock - Wait!
Sally - Oh! What now?
Shock - Aren't you going to release us? We told you what you needed to know!
Axe - Nah! We like you better this way.
Jo^2 - And besides this keeps Mr. W busy!
Fink - Wait! I'm coming too!
Sara - Why?
Fink - Are you crazy?
Sara - Um ... yes.
Fink - I'm not staying here with all the grammar teachings.
Sally - Well, I suppose you can come along.
Fink - Of course I can.
Mr. W - Bye bye, Squirrel People!
Everyone - Bye, Mr. W!
The group of heroes exit, leaving the three trick or treaters alone with the English teacher.
Mr. W - Well, fellows, I guess it's just you, me, and this 500 page grammar book.
Lock, Shock, and Barrel - Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
We rejoin our heroes as they make their way through the graveyard.
Jo^2 - So, what was your agreement with God?
Sara - I told him I would call him once a week. That way, he's not constantly annoyed by me and I'm not turned into a smoldering pile of dust.
Axe - Ok. Now, we're off to kick Oogie's ass!
Sara - That brings to mind, ...... a song!
Sally - Uh oh!
Sara - (to the tune of We're Off to See the Wizard from The Wizard of Oz) Oooooooooooh! We're off to beat up Oogie! The stupidest Oogie of all! He's very very very very very stupid because he tried to destroy my one true love and that deserves a pouding because because because because because becaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse he pisses me off like no one else does!
Fink - Why? What possessed me to bring her back to life?
Suddenly, the scarecrow comes out of nowhere, lifts up Finkie's scalp, and takes his brain!
Scarecrow - Yoink!
Fink - Hey! Give that back, you stupid scarecrow guy!
Scarecrow - Yay! I finally have a brain! Now, I can take over the world.
The Tin Man is staring at Jo^2.
Jo^2 - Don't even think about it, Tin Man!
Tine Man - Rats!
Jack - Where did these freaks come from?!
Sally - How should I know?
Sally notices the Scarecrow staring at her.
Sally - What do you want?
Scarecrow - You're very pretty.
Sally - Oh crap!
Scarecrow - Will you marry me?
Jack - Hey! She's taken!
Sara runs up and sticks duck tape over Jack's mouth.
Sara - She excepts your offer. How's does June sound? I hear it's lovely in the spring.
Sally - Sara!
Sara whacks duck tape across Sally's mouth.
Sara - Here's my card. Call me in the morning.
Sara hands the Scarecrow a tiny card.
Scarecrow - Gee Thanks. Come, My Sweet.
Suddenly, Jack lunges at Scarecrow and Sally lunges at Sara. They all begin to fight!
Jo^2 - Oh crap!
Axe - What do we do?
Jo^2 - I think I have an idea!
Jo^2 pulls out a whistle and blows on it.
Jo^2's whistle - eep eep eep eep oo oo ooo oo oo
Suddenly, a large group of flying monkeys comes at them.
Tin Man - Oh my gosh! Flying Monkeys!
Scarecrow - Run away!
The Tin Man and Scarecrow run far far away until no one can see them anymore.
Axe - What did you do?
A flying monkey lands on Jo^2's shoulder and she gives him a banana.
Jo^2 - Flying monkey whistle. Works like a charm. Awwwe. Who's a good little monkey?
Jo^2 joyfully pets the flying monkey and makes baby noises at it.
Jack - I thought only th Wicked Witch of the West could summon those.
Jo^2 - Ee hee he he he he he he he he!
Jack - Oh!
Axe - Wait! What about Fink's brain? The Scarecrow ran off with it.
Fink - That's alright. I have a spare.
Fink pulls out an extra brain and puts it in his head.
Sara - Stupid Ragdoll!
Sally - Hey! This isn't my fault!
Jack - What the?
Sally is totally torn apart and leaves are spread everywhere and two monkeys are whacking each other with her arms.
Jo^2 - Sorry. It's a habit.
Sara leans over to Jo^2.
Sara - Thanks. I owe you one.
Fink - So, now we have to get her back together.
Sara - Do we have to?
Fink - Yes.
Everyone begins picking up Sally parts and attempts to put her back together again.
Sara - Uh oh!
Jo^2 - What?
Sara - I feel a .... a
Axe - What? What is it?
Sara - I feel a song coming on!
Jack - Oh no!
Sara - Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee leg bone's connected to the knee bone, the knee bone's connected to the other leg bone .....
Axe - Oh! Make it stop!
Fink pulls out his brain and stuffs it into his ears!
Sally - But I have no bones!
Jo^2 - Too late now.
Sara - The stomach bone's connected the chest bone, the chest bone's connected to the neck bone, the neck bone's connected to my belt buckle, the .... uh oh.
Well, be be be be be be be that's all folks! Please tune in some other time and maybe Sara will stop singing by then!
Sara - I think not!
Sara, you can't sing forever!
Sara - I know! That's why I have created this cd. The bestest hits of Sara!
Axe - This cd includes such classics as the I'm A" Zombay" song and the ever so popular I Love Jack and He Better Marry Me or I'm Gonna Kill Somebody song!
Jo^2 - And it only cost $19.95 plus shipping and handling which is also $19.95.
Sara - Buy it, today (wink) ....... or else. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Mr. W - Hey! That's my line!
Sara - Say's who?
Mr. W - Says me!
Uh oh! Bye bye, folks!